Need to write this @#$ dissertation already.
July 7, 2010 8:29 AM Subscribe
MY short-term dissertation progress keeps getting bogged down by long-term freakouts. How do you motivate yourself to keep moving through a large, difficult, unpleasant self-directed task-- especially when there's a healthy dose of guilt in the mix?
I am an advanced PhD student in a humanities program. My journey here has been far from angstless: I graduated from a prestigious undergrad in a much more marketable field, decided basically on a whim to go to grad school in an entirely different discipline, realized about 1/3 of the way in that it wasn't the best decision, but couldn't man up and cut bait, and drifted through the next few years without being very productive at all. Now, I've scraped my stuff together somewhat and know that my #1 priority needs to be to finish the dissertation so I can finally take the degree I've devoted nearly 1/4 of my life to.
Unfortunately, the critical process of buckling down and getting to work keeps being derailed by distressing higher-level thoughts about my situation. My work demands an enormous amount of concentration and focus, plus a good dash of creativity, and since it's entirely self-directed and deadlineless (my advisors have basically checked out; haven't heard from one of them for years) it's entirely on me to generate the motivation to move forward on any given day. Whenever I sit down to work, the process of starting in on my research inevitably brings up one of a number of well-worn, panicky thought trains, such as:
-- Ugh, this research is pointless/ I can't believe I'm stuck in this ridiculous field/I'm just one of those types now/ why didn't I stick to my undergrad major/it's all my fault!
-- God, this takes a lot of time/I've wasted so much time already/ It's all my fault/ How on earth will I finish this in time?
-- That sounds like X peer's line of research/ God, I haven't been in contact with any of my colleagues in so long/ I have no solid professional connections at all right now/ I've wasted so many opportunities/ it's all my fault/ I am so screwed.
-- Does this sound like a good point?/ I wonder if this line of research will be marketable/ the job market sucks so much right now/ so many people I know with better resumes haven't found work/ I'll never ever get a job/ I am so screwed, it's all my fault.
And so forth. I would dismiss these as random intrusive thoughts, but each of the sub-points is, from what I can see, 100% empirically verifiable. Consequently, when such thoughts pop up, it's a good half-hour of staring bleakly at the wall, and even if I can cut myself off mid-descent, I return with zero motivation or drive to continue with my work. No time or money for therapy, and I'm pretty sure there isn't any larger mental illness here; just kind of a shitty life situation and a very demanding task. I need advice on day-to-day methods and/or tricks to keep myself moving forward with self-directed work that's in itself unpleasant, when the best outcome I can hope for is the least of many evils.
tl;dr my dissertation and career is all stick, no carrot. Day-to-day, what techniques can I use to (a) quit freaking out and (b) motivate myself to get work done? Throwaway email allcarrot2 at gmail dot com. Thanks!
I am an advanced PhD student in a humanities program. My journey here has been far from angstless: I graduated from a prestigious undergrad in a much more marketable field, decided basically on a whim to go to grad school in an entirely different discipline, realized about 1/3 of the way in that it wasn't the best decision, but couldn't man up and cut bait, and drifted through the next few years without being very productive at all. Now, I've scraped my stuff together somewhat and know that my #1 priority needs to be to finish the dissertation so I can finally take the degree I've devoted nearly 1/4 of my life to.
Unfortunately, the critical process of buckling down and getting to work keeps being derailed by distressing higher-level thoughts about my situation. My work demands an enormous amount of concentration and focus, plus a good dash of creativity, and since it's entirely self-directed and deadlineless (my advisors have basically checked out; haven't heard from one of them for years) it's entirely on me to generate the motivation to move forward on any given day. Whenever I sit down to work, the process of starting in on my research inevitably brings up one of a number of well-worn, panicky thought trains, such as:
-- Ugh, this research is pointless/ I can't believe I'm stuck in this ridiculous field/I'm just one of those types now/ why didn't I stick to my undergrad major/it's all my fault!
-- God, this takes a lot of time/I've wasted so much time already/ It's all my fault/ How on earth will I finish this in time?
-- That sounds like X peer's line of research/ God, I haven't been in contact with any of my colleagues in so long/ I have no solid professional connections at all right now/ I've wasted so many opportunities/ it's all my fault/ I am so screwed.
-- Does this sound like a good point?/ I wonder if this line of research will be marketable/ the job market sucks so much right now/ so many people I know with better resumes haven't found work/ I'll never ever get a job/ I am so screwed, it's all my fault.
And so forth. I would dismiss these as random intrusive thoughts, but each of the sub-points is, from what I can see, 100% empirically verifiable. Consequently, when such thoughts pop up, it's a good half-hour of staring bleakly at the wall, and even if I can cut myself off mid-descent, I return with zero motivation or drive to continue with my work. No time or money for therapy, and I'm pretty sure there isn't any larger mental illness here; just kind of a shitty life situation and a very demanding task. I need advice on day-to-day methods and/or tricks to keep myself moving forward with self-directed work that's in itself unpleasant, when the best outcome I can hope for is the least of many evils.
tl;dr my dissertation and career is all stick, no carrot. Day-to-day, what techniques can I use to (a) quit freaking out and (b) motivate myself to get work done? Throwaway email allcarrot2 at gmail dot com. Thanks!
This book got me to finish my thesis. I cannot recommend it highly enough. As for motiviation: I would propose (and I'm not the first!) that generally motivation follows action, not the other way around. This article might help. The meditation practice of labeling those thoughts as thoughts and letting them pass might help. "Thinking. Thinking. Thinking." or "Worrying. Worrying. Worrying."
I would also suggest CBT for the thinking issues. Even if they are true it doesn't matter, just start going and keep going. You are not alone in taking forever to finish your dissertation or thinking that you've totally screwed yourself, picked the wrong field or are a complete idiot. The process is designed, I think, to sap the life out of you. I'm pretty sure if you don't finish you will regret it more than you regret things now.
If you have someone to do it with, make a commitment to send them an email each day telling them what you've done. If you don't have someone and you want to try it, I'll do it. Also, I would make a commitment to burn a five dollar bill each day you've scheduled to work and don't spend at least 10 minutes on it.
Good luck!
Katie
posted by orsonet at 8:45 AM on July 7, 2010 [4 favorites]
I would also suggest CBT for the thinking issues. Even if they are true it doesn't matter, just start going and keep going. You are not alone in taking forever to finish your dissertation or thinking that you've totally screwed yourself, picked the wrong field or are a complete idiot. The process is designed, I think, to sap the life out of you. I'm pretty sure if you don't finish you will regret it more than you regret things now.
If you have someone to do it with, make a commitment to send them an email each day telling them what you've done. If you don't have someone and you want to try it, I'll do it. Also, I would make a commitment to burn a five dollar bill each day you've scheduled to work and don't spend at least 10 minutes on it.
Good luck!
Katie
posted by orsonet at 8:45 AM on July 7, 2010 [4 favorites]
Have you read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott? She is writing specifically about fiction writing, but her advice about how to quiet the poisonous voices and actually get to work is very helpful to me. In particular, I like her advice about setting very, very small goals. When I was writing my thesis, I set the small goal of two pages a day. I would tell myself (in a gentle, but slightly condescending tone), "Now, dear, all you have to do is write two pages. See? That's not that much. Just two little ole' pages." I could get over the negative self-talk just to try to get that little goal accomplished, but, lo and behold, by halfway through the first page I was so caught up in the work of it that I didn't pay much attention to how much I wrote, and I would often write a lot more than I planned.
posted by TrarNoir at 8:47 AM on July 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by TrarNoir at 8:47 AM on July 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
You might find Tim Pychyl's iProcrastinate podcast helpful.
There are endless tips and tricks, but Pychyl's most frequently repeated advice is "just get started." It can be almost impossible to make the idea of a dreaded task comfortable before you've even started. No matter what tricks you employ, you will have to push through that initial discomfort.
If your goal no longer makes sense for you and your life the way it once did, or runs counter to your personal values, then that's a different problem altogether.
posted by jon1270 at 8:51 AM on July 7, 2010
There are endless tips and tricks, but Pychyl's most frequently repeated advice is "just get started." It can be almost impossible to make the idea of a dreaded task comfortable before you've even started. No matter what tricks you employ, you will have to push through that initial discomfort.
If your goal no longer makes sense for you and your life the way it once did, or runs counter to your personal values, then that's a different problem altogether.
posted by jon1270 at 8:51 AM on July 7, 2010
There's a paper I once read called Relatively Absolute Absolutes. It's framed in economics and policy, but it has a nice general applicability and it's helped me in similar situations. It describes how most day to day work is done under some kind of framework or set of rules which are absolute with respect to the day to day work, but are relatively absolute in the broader sense in that they can be changed. The example is laws and the constitution. Most policy takes the constitution as an absolute set of constraints; occasionally the constitution itself is probed, but usually not.
Having a relatively absolute set of constraints is really critical to getting things done. If you had to challenge and justify the constitution every time you tried to write a law, you would never be able to get a law written. Likewise, as you're finding, if you had to justify the entire enterprise every time you tried to write a paragraph, you would be frozen in inaction.
Your concerns about the bigger picture may be valid. You can set aside some time to worry about them. But your day-to-day tasks must operate within these relatively absolute constraints and you have to temporarily accept them. Every time to find yourself worrying, acknowledge that it's a valid thing to worry about and resolve to deal with it later, at the appropriate time, when the day-to-day tasks are completed.
The only link I can find is Google Books which is missing some pages, but I'll email you a copy of the paper.
posted by PercussivePaul at 8:52 AM on July 7, 2010 [6 favorites]
Having a relatively absolute set of constraints is really critical to getting things done. If you had to challenge and justify the constitution every time you tried to write a law, you would never be able to get a law written. Likewise, as you're finding, if you had to justify the entire enterprise every time you tried to write a paragraph, you would be frozen in inaction.
Your concerns about the bigger picture may be valid. You can set aside some time to worry about them. But your day-to-day tasks must operate within these relatively absolute constraints and you have to temporarily accept them. Every time to find yourself worrying, acknowledge that it's a valid thing to worry about and resolve to deal with it later, at the appropriate time, when the day-to-day tasks are completed.
The only link I can find is Google Books which is missing some pages, but I'll email you a copy of the paper.
posted by PercussivePaul at 8:52 AM on July 7, 2010 [6 favorites]
Like Orsonet, I highly recommend 'Writing Your Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day.' I only wrote an MS thesis, but the book helped me a lot, and I wish I had stumbled on it earlier (MUCH earlier, honestly) in the process than I did.
I also completely agree to set small goals that force you to start the work, because starting usually is the hardest part.
I also wonder if you can reconnect with one of your academic advisors? This:
"I graduated from a prestigious undergrad in a much more marketable field, decided basically on a whim to go to grad school in an entirely different discipline, realized about 1/3 of the way in that it wasn't the best decision, but couldn't man up and cut bait, and drifted through the next few years without being very productive at all. Now, I've scraped my stuff together somewhat and know that my #1 priority needs to be to finish the dissertation so I can finally take the degree I've devoted nearly 1/4 of my life to. "
Sounds VERY familiar to me. Only details are different-went to grad school in the wrong subfield of my discipline, only did an MS, but otherwise your story sounds a lot like mine. Two things helped me a lot. The first thing was just knowing that finishing meant it wasn't hanging over my head any more, in much the same way that amelioration mentioned. If you get it done, you can move on. Second, having regular deadlines with my advisor helped a lot-knowing that he was expecting me to have something written for him really helped me to write. I was late on some of the deadlines, and on time for some, but the deadlines merely being there helped a lot. Maybe mention to your advisor that you want a little more structure in the writing process, and ask if you could turn things in (chapters, sections, whatever works for your dissertation) on a semi-regular basis?
Even if your relationship with your advisor isn't great, they have a vested interest in getting you through the program. Dropping out or taking forever reflect on them, so I'd be pretty surprised if they weren't at least somewhat receptive to any ideas you might have that would get you through the program in a reasonable time frame (from now).
Lastly, don't stress about this too much. There are a lot, lot, lot of people who have been in similar situations to yours and gotten through it.
You can do this.
Feel free to memail me if you have specific questions, or even just to vent or for emotional support.
posted by HighTechUnderpants at 9:18 AM on July 7, 2010
I also completely agree to set small goals that force you to start the work, because starting usually is the hardest part.
I also wonder if you can reconnect with one of your academic advisors? This:
"I graduated from a prestigious undergrad in a much more marketable field, decided basically on a whim to go to grad school in an entirely different discipline, realized about 1/3 of the way in that it wasn't the best decision, but couldn't man up and cut bait, and drifted through the next few years without being very productive at all. Now, I've scraped my stuff together somewhat and know that my #1 priority needs to be to finish the dissertation so I can finally take the degree I've devoted nearly 1/4 of my life to. "
Sounds VERY familiar to me. Only details are different-went to grad school in the wrong subfield of my discipline, only did an MS, but otherwise your story sounds a lot like mine. Two things helped me a lot. The first thing was just knowing that finishing meant it wasn't hanging over my head any more, in much the same way that amelioration mentioned. If you get it done, you can move on. Second, having regular deadlines with my advisor helped a lot-knowing that he was expecting me to have something written for him really helped me to write. I was late on some of the deadlines, and on time for some, but the deadlines merely being there helped a lot. Maybe mention to your advisor that you want a little more structure in the writing process, and ask if you could turn things in (chapters, sections, whatever works for your dissertation) on a semi-regular basis?
Even if your relationship with your advisor isn't great, they have a vested interest in getting you through the program. Dropping out or taking forever reflect on them, so I'd be pretty surprised if they weren't at least somewhat receptive to any ideas you might have that would get you through the program in a reasonable time frame (from now).
Lastly, don't stress about this too much. There are a lot, lot, lot of people who have been in similar situations to yours and gotten through it.
You can do this.
Feel free to memail me if you have specific questions, or even just to vent or for emotional support.
posted by HighTechUnderpants at 9:18 AM on July 7, 2010
Oh dear god. I feel your pain. And I'm now a career academic. There are a lot of hacks out there that amount to trying to stop you getting into the thinking/writing "death spiral" - ie the more you think, the less you write ;-). Usually they're along the lines of writing a set amount, or for a set time, every day. The key is not to spend too much time; write for your set time, and then STOP for the rest of the day. Go do other things with the clear understanding that you are "done" for the day. This gets rid of the "OMG guilt guilt" narrative.
My version: sit down with your laptop. Write until the battery runs out (make sure you have autosave on!). STOP. (The stop part is crucial: there's something about stopping in the middle of a sentence or paragraph that kickstarts you the next day, preventing you from doing the whole "oh, I need to do some more reading before I can start this next section" routine.
(note: this only works because my laptop has an old battery that's only getting a couple of hours to a charge. If you have a super 6-hour battery then that's way too long and you'll need some other forcing metric).
Even if you're only writing for an hour a day (or something) you will get SO much more done than you would otherwise.
posted by media_itoku at 9:34 AM on July 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
My version: sit down with your laptop. Write until the battery runs out (make sure you have autosave on!). STOP. (The stop part is crucial: there's something about stopping in the middle of a sentence or paragraph that kickstarts you the next day, preventing you from doing the whole "oh, I need to do some more reading before I can start this next section" routine.
(note: this only works because my laptop has an old battery that's only getting a couple of hours to a charge. If you have a super 6-hour battery then that's way too long and you'll need some other forcing metric).
Even if you're only writing for an hour a day (or something) you will get SO much more done than you would otherwise.
posted by media_itoku at 9:34 AM on July 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
First, some platitudes: The best dissertation is a "done' dissertation. Don't think about it, just do it!
I have thoughts similar to yours on a daily basis, including the ones about wasted opportunities and guilt. Until my therapist pointed it out, I did not realize that almost every single thought I've had over the last few years has been self-flagellatory in some form or the other. So it may be useful to stop yourself when you start the process of over-thinking and remind yourself that this is just a period in your life, and that it has an end. You are not just a PhD student and your dissertation does not define your life (although it may seem that way now). It is scary how a dissertation can take over our lives for so many years!
I defend a few months from now, but still have a lot of work left. Here are some of the things that help(ed) me (unless I am really depressed).
Deadlines: Your committee members will check out if you don't keep in touch with them (I am bad at keeping in touch myself). This doesn't mean that they will not help if requested to do so. Is your chair (or any of the other members) the helpful sort? It may help to actually talk your issues through with them (they've seen it all before!). The lack of deadlines is a huge issue for me. In my case, I defended my proposal early because my chair told me outright that he was not free after a certain date for several months. So if your chair is willing to work with you on deadlines, that could be helpful. If you have a friend/colleague/someone else who is doing their dissertation, it may be helpful to meet/talk to discuss your progress with them. Part of what makes me feel like this is insurmountable is because this is such a lonely process.
I've also found that having structure to my days is very helpful. You would think that teaching + finishing the dissertation would be more difficult that spending all your time on the dissertation. In my case, I actually got more work done when I was teaching since I was very aware of the passage of time. I think I got more done in a semester of teaching+ dissertation than an entire year where I had a fellowship and hence no other "distractions". So it's useful to have a routine, and to take time off for yourself as you would do if you had a 9 to 5 job. (i.e. evenings, weekends etc).
Perfectionism/ Creativity: I recently attended the defenses of two other PhD candidates and was horrified at the complexity and extra work I've taken on in my own dissertation. It's no wonder I'm taking so long! You have probably already done this, but it may help to go over a few recent PhD dissertations in your school. I did this at the beginning of my dissertation, but towards the end, I had forgotten how much work was actually enough. If I had to do it all over again, I would not worry about being creative or perfect. Or about the relevance/contribution of my research. Not all research is (or needs to be) ground-breaking!
I think the most helpful thing in my case has been to remind myself: a)I need to get this done since I've spent so many years on it b) I am not enjoying the process at all. Hence it makes sense to get this out of the way quickly. I try to visualize my final defense and imagine how liberated I would feel when it's finally over.
I found this book (rather than the Bolker one) extremely helpful, can't recommend it enough, especially the first few chapters. I am especially fond of his advice about "the first thing you need to do every morning is write without giving yourself the opportunity to think" (or something to that effect).
Good luck and feel free to MeMail me if you wish (if you have other questions, need to talk next steps through with someone, or anything else).
posted by prenominal at 10:27 AM on July 7, 2010
I have thoughts similar to yours on a daily basis, including the ones about wasted opportunities and guilt. Until my therapist pointed it out, I did not realize that almost every single thought I've had over the last few years has been self-flagellatory in some form or the other. So it may be useful to stop yourself when you start the process of over-thinking and remind yourself that this is just a period in your life, and that it has an end. You are not just a PhD student and your dissertation does not define your life (although it may seem that way now). It is scary how a dissertation can take over our lives for so many years!
I defend a few months from now, but still have a lot of work left. Here are some of the things that help(ed) me (unless I am really depressed).
Deadlines: Your committee members will check out if you don't keep in touch with them (I am bad at keeping in touch myself). This doesn't mean that they will not help if requested to do so. Is your chair (or any of the other members) the helpful sort? It may help to actually talk your issues through with them (they've seen it all before!). The lack of deadlines is a huge issue for me. In my case, I defended my proposal early because my chair told me outright that he was not free after a certain date for several months. So if your chair is willing to work with you on deadlines, that could be helpful. If you have a friend/colleague/someone else who is doing their dissertation, it may be helpful to meet/talk to discuss your progress with them. Part of what makes me feel like this is insurmountable is because this is such a lonely process.
I've also found that having structure to my days is very helpful. You would think that teaching + finishing the dissertation would be more difficult that spending all your time on the dissertation. In my case, I actually got more work done when I was teaching since I was very aware of the passage of time. I think I got more done in a semester of teaching+ dissertation than an entire year where I had a fellowship and hence no other "distractions". So it's useful to have a routine, and to take time off for yourself as you would do if you had a 9 to 5 job. (i.e. evenings, weekends etc).
Perfectionism/ Creativity: I recently attended the defenses of two other PhD candidates and was horrified at the complexity and extra work I've taken on in my own dissertation. It's no wonder I'm taking so long! You have probably already done this, but it may help to go over a few recent PhD dissertations in your school. I did this at the beginning of my dissertation, but towards the end, I had forgotten how much work was actually enough. If I had to do it all over again, I would not worry about being creative or perfect. Or about the relevance/contribution of my research. Not all research is (or needs to be) ground-breaking!
I think the most helpful thing in my case has been to remind myself: a)I need to get this done since I've spent so many years on it b) I am not enjoying the process at all. Hence it makes sense to get this out of the way quickly. I try to visualize my final defense and imagine how liberated I would feel when it's finally over.
I found this book (rather than the Bolker one) extremely helpful, can't recommend it enough, especially the first few chapters. I am especially fond of his advice about "the first thing you need to do every morning is write without giving yourself the opportunity to think" (or something to that effect).
Good luck and feel free to MeMail me if you wish (if you have other questions, need to talk next steps through with someone, or anything else).
posted by prenominal at 10:27 AM on July 7, 2010
Nthing the fact that your anxieties are very very common, and something that many (most?) humanities dissertators go through.
I've read every advice book out there, including the ones you've mentioned -- why write when you can read about procrastination, right? -- and they all essentially say the same thing: write every day for shorter periods, rather that having long periods of time go by with no writing at all.
Two other things that helped me to get past my 3-years-of-writer's-block:
1. I got a huge unlined pad of paper from an art store. It was maybe 3 feet high by 2 feet wide. I broke my diss down into the 10 or so mini-topics I was writing about, and set up one page for each one. I'd write everything I had to do to finish writing that section, listing all the books/journal articles I needed to read, small issues I needed to decide or research more, etc. It's much less intimidating to see that you just need to read 10 more books on that one particular topic than to have a huge list of hundreds of things to read/think about. Then, I just burned my way through each mini-topic, writing at least 3 pages or 3 hours a day. The more progress I made, the more my block lifted. If I thought of something later in the day that I needed to do or remember, I'd just jot it down on the right page of the notepad and know it wasn't lost.
2. Somewhere online I heard of an idea that greatly helped me. I made up index cards with my most common excuses for not working, and then responses to each excuse. Many of these excuses were lodged almost subconsciously in my mind -- calling them out and examining their fallacy diminished their power. The more I resisted the little devil on my shoulder, the stronger my willpower got, and the more easily I was able to recognize the bullshit rationalizations I was using to avoid my work. These were excuses like, "It's so cold and uncomfortable in my study," and responses in bulleted form like "BUT there are things I can do to make the space warmer and more comfortable," or "BUT not working is also emotionally uncomfortable." These cards really, really helped me. At first, I would actually pull them out and use them as a script to talk back to my procrastinating demon, but soon I had the responses memorized and could nip procrastination in the bud as soon as it started.
Good luck to you. What you're feeling is exactly what I and so many others have felt. The things you wrote were like an exact script of what went through my head for years. Finally, after years of half-efforts and full-on avoidance, I started getting up at 5 a.m. every day to write before work, and within 6 months I had written a 300-page dissertation. You can do it, too.
posted by ravioli at 11:35 AM on July 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
I've read every advice book out there, including the ones you've mentioned -- why write when you can read about procrastination, right? -- and they all essentially say the same thing: write every day for shorter periods, rather that having long periods of time go by with no writing at all.
Two other things that helped me to get past my 3-years-of-writer's-block:
1. I got a huge unlined pad of paper from an art store. It was maybe 3 feet high by 2 feet wide. I broke my diss down into the 10 or so mini-topics I was writing about, and set up one page for each one. I'd write everything I had to do to finish writing that section, listing all the books/journal articles I needed to read, small issues I needed to decide or research more, etc. It's much less intimidating to see that you just need to read 10 more books on that one particular topic than to have a huge list of hundreds of things to read/think about. Then, I just burned my way through each mini-topic, writing at least 3 pages or 3 hours a day. The more progress I made, the more my block lifted. If I thought of something later in the day that I needed to do or remember, I'd just jot it down on the right page of the notepad and know it wasn't lost.
2. Somewhere online I heard of an idea that greatly helped me. I made up index cards with my most common excuses for not working, and then responses to each excuse. Many of these excuses were lodged almost subconsciously in my mind -- calling them out and examining their fallacy diminished their power. The more I resisted the little devil on my shoulder, the stronger my willpower got, and the more easily I was able to recognize the bullshit rationalizations I was using to avoid my work. These were excuses like, "It's so cold and uncomfortable in my study," and responses in bulleted form like "BUT there are things I can do to make the space warmer and more comfortable," or "BUT not working is also emotionally uncomfortable." These cards really, really helped me. At first, I would actually pull them out and use them as a script to talk back to my procrastinating demon, but soon I had the responses memorized and could nip procrastination in the bud as soon as it started.
Good luck to you. What you're feeling is exactly what I and so many others have felt. The things you wrote were like an exact script of what went through my head for years. Finally, after years of half-efforts and full-on avoidance, I started getting up at 5 a.m. every day to write before work, and within 6 months I had written a 300-page dissertation. You can do it, too.
posted by ravioli at 11:35 AM on July 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
Good advice so far. I'll add one more book recommendation: How to write a lot by Paul Silvia. He talks about the importance of a schedule--of allotting time, not finding time. He's a gentle smartass, which is better in this case, often, than a book that falls into therapy speak, I think.
Bolker's idea of zero drafting has been hugely helpful to me (from the book that orsonet recommended). I've realized that the main reason I get stuck is that I haven't broken down my tasks into small enough chunks. It has been really helpful to write out a play-by-play of my interior monologue. Something like "What's my problem today? I think that my next step has to be to write about X before Y, because I get bogged down with Y, and then..." that moves toward an outline, rather than trying to write an impeccable first draft right off the bat.
posted by umbú at 11:50 AM on July 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Bolker's idea of zero drafting has been hugely helpful to me (from the book that orsonet recommended). I've realized that the main reason I get stuck is that I haven't broken down my tasks into small enough chunks. It has been really helpful to write out a play-by-play of my interior monologue. Something like "What's my problem today? I think that my next step has to be to write about X before Y, because I get bogged down with Y, and then..." that moves toward an outline, rather than trying to write an impeccable first draft right off the bat.
posted by umbú at 11:50 AM on July 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Another vote for How to Write A Lot. That plus a digital timer has helped me the most. Also read this (pdf) One Draft Dissertation guide. It's not from your field, but there's some good advice on how to stay focused on your argument for your audience, and how to draft based on what amounts to a very detailed outline with clear topic sentences.
You know how people always tell you to work in smaller chunks of tasks and time, just to get some momentum? I would make that *tiny* chunks of time when I couldn't get moving. I call one method my "On Ramp" and often use it in the morning to get rolling.
0. (optional step) Swear at dissertation. Swear profusely. Damn it to hell. Tell it to effity eff eff itself. There--the emotional part is out of the way. Now down to business.
1. Set timer for 2 min. Yes. 2. You can work on your diss for 2 minutes, even if it's just laying out your notes or opening a file.
2. When two minutes is complete, stop working on diss and go work for 2 min. on something else NOT on the computer and NOT in the same space where you do your diss work. Fold some laundry, clean the cat box, do pushups, whatever.
3. When that two minutes is up, set timer for 3 min. Now work on the diss for 3 min., even if it's just reading something you already wrote. Stop after 3 min. See. You've finished 5 min!
4. Reset timer for 3 min. Keep folding laundry or whatever.
5. Reset timer for 4 min. of diss work.
6. Repeat until you reach a time that's good for you. For a while, I thought I could only do 5 min. of work at once, so I did 5 on, 5 off. Some days, 10 or 15 feels like a good number. Whatever the number, at the end of an hour, you'll have more work done than you would have if you hadn't worked at all. And it started w/ 2 min.
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Another option is to shamelessly bribe yourself. Give yourself a point for every 5 (or 15 or whatever) min. of work. When you earn x points, go get coffee or ice cream or reward yourself with 15 min. of metafilter.
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Set a goal to work x min. in an hour. Maybe start with 10. If you get 10 min. of good, solid work done at the beginning of the hour, the other 50 min. is yours guilt free. If you sit around, stare into space, complain, and listen to all that bad self-talk for 45 min. before you do anything, well, you better get to work because you only have 15 min. left to get 10 good min. in. Eventually, I worked my way up to 45 min. with this method.
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Pomodoro Method--you can google it, but basically you work in 25 min. chunks of time. I've found that I work better in 15 min. chunks (sometimes I string them together, but knowing I can take a quick break at the end of 15 min. helps me), but this method works for a lot of people.
----------
And for support, sign up on Phinished.org. You can commiserate with people in real time in the "Chat" feature, get advice on the Phorums, and work with others on the Daily or Weekly boards where you announce your goals and update as you can.
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None of these methods worked for me every day. I built up a whole collection of different methods and I switched between them as necessary depending on the day, task (I can't concentrate on writing very long but I can read articles and analyze data all day long), my mood, or whatever. Sometimes I could work on the computer, but sometimes I needed big sheets of paper taped to the wall to see connections between ideas or chapters. Sometimes I physically cut apart notes or partial drafts to rearrange them.
-----------
So to more directly answer your questions. It's normal/ok/necessary to freak out. Just put a time limit on it. Freak out for the next x minutes. Then decide to be done freaking out and just work. Don't worry so much about motivation. It probably won't come. Just decide to work. Even if you only get 15 min. done one day, that's 15 more than you would have had you just freaked out all day. Be nice to yourself about the work you do get done, not mad at yourself for not getting more done.
There's so much other good advice over at Phinished.org. You have to register, but even if you just look through the recent forum postings, I think you'll find you're not alone and will get some good advice there, too.
posted by BlooPen at 6:23 PM on July 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
You know how people always tell you to work in smaller chunks of tasks and time, just to get some momentum? I would make that *tiny* chunks of time when I couldn't get moving. I call one method my "On Ramp" and often use it in the morning to get rolling.
0. (optional step) Swear at dissertation. Swear profusely. Damn it to hell. Tell it to effity eff eff itself. There--the emotional part is out of the way. Now down to business.
1. Set timer for 2 min. Yes. 2. You can work on your diss for 2 minutes, even if it's just laying out your notes or opening a file.
2. When two minutes is complete, stop working on diss and go work for 2 min. on something else NOT on the computer and NOT in the same space where you do your diss work. Fold some laundry, clean the cat box, do pushups, whatever.
3. When that two minutes is up, set timer for 3 min. Now work on the diss for 3 min., even if it's just reading something you already wrote. Stop after 3 min. See. You've finished 5 min!
4. Reset timer for 3 min. Keep folding laundry or whatever.
5. Reset timer for 4 min. of diss work.
6. Repeat until you reach a time that's good for you. For a while, I thought I could only do 5 min. of work at once, so I did 5 on, 5 off. Some days, 10 or 15 feels like a good number. Whatever the number, at the end of an hour, you'll have more work done than you would have if you hadn't worked at all. And it started w/ 2 min.
----------
Another option is to shamelessly bribe yourself. Give yourself a point for every 5 (or 15 or whatever) min. of work. When you earn x points, go get coffee or ice cream or reward yourself with 15 min. of metafilter.
----------
Set a goal to work x min. in an hour. Maybe start with 10. If you get 10 min. of good, solid work done at the beginning of the hour, the other 50 min. is yours guilt free. If you sit around, stare into space, complain, and listen to all that bad self-talk for 45 min. before you do anything, well, you better get to work because you only have 15 min. left to get 10 good min. in. Eventually, I worked my way up to 45 min. with this method.
----------
Pomodoro Method--you can google it, but basically you work in 25 min. chunks of time. I've found that I work better in 15 min. chunks (sometimes I string them together, but knowing I can take a quick break at the end of 15 min. helps me), but this method works for a lot of people.
----------
And for support, sign up on Phinished.org. You can commiserate with people in real time in the "Chat" feature, get advice on the Phorums, and work with others on the Daily or Weekly boards where you announce your goals and update as you can.
----------
None of these methods worked for me every day. I built up a whole collection of different methods and I switched between them as necessary depending on the day, task (I can't concentrate on writing very long but I can read articles and analyze data all day long), my mood, or whatever. Sometimes I could work on the computer, but sometimes I needed big sheets of paper taped to the wall to see connections between ideas or chapters. Sometimes I physically cut apart notes or partial drafts to rearrange them.
-----------
So to more directly answer your questions. It's normal/ok/necessary to freak out. Just put a time limit on it. Freak out for the next x minutes. Then decide to be done freaking out and just work. Don't worry so much about motivation. It probably won't come. Just decide to work. Even if you only get 15 min. done one day, that's 15 more than you would have had you just freaked out all day. Be nice to yourself about the work you do get done, not mad at yourself for not getting more done.
There's so much other good advice over at Phinished.org. You have to register, but even if you just look through the recent forum postings, I think you'll find you're not alone and will get some good advice there, too.
posted by BlooPen at 6:23 PM on July 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
Therapy. Surely your campus has a counseling center with qualified therapists who have experience with many other students who have been in your situation and will be able to help you. Make an appointment.
posted by exphysicist345 at 7:14 PM on July 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by exphysicist345 at 7:14 PM on July 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
I just finished and defended my dissertation in April after spending a third of my life in grad school. I know your pain, and I can't tell you how glad I am not to be feeling it any more.
I've only skimmed the other answers here, but it looks like there's a lot of good advice. For me, one key to finishing was to engage the services of a fantastic dissertation/career coach who helped me develop a repertoire of small "day-to-day techniques" for maintaining productivity. My experience was the same as BlooPen's: no one method worked all the time, but I was able to pick the approach that seemed like the best fit for my mood or the task at hand.
I realize that your question asks for "day-to-day techniques," and those are very important for every dissertator, but I have to be honest: I don't think I would have finished if I hadn't spent the 12 months leading up to my defense confronting all my doubts and anxieties head-on. I had spent years struggling to suppress the anxious voice in the back of my head that kept asking, "What if I don't finish? What if I don't get an academic job? What if I'm not really cut out for this?" Finally I addressed those questions for myself.
I seriously considered the consequences of dropping out of the Ph.D. program and taking the consolation master's. I decided that it wouldn't be the end of the world, but that I'd rather finish the Ph.D., since I was relatively close already (more than half done with the dissertation).
I spent a lot of time reflecting on not just the academic job market, but the academic job. Teaching and research were stimulating, but not as fun and fulfilling as I'd imagined, and I realized (with the help of a part-time, non-academic job) that there were some things I needed to be happy in a work situation, such as clearly-delineated work hours and time off, that I was unlikely to find in academe. I listened to my non-academic friends who seemed to be happy in their careers, and I realized that even if I finished the Ph.D., I didn't necessarily have to throw myself to the wolves on the academic job market—I could pursue other options. For my last year in grad school, I declined to take a teaching assignment, and instead divided my time between rapidly finishing the dissertation and gaining experience and skills in a new career field.
As for the question of whether I was really cut out for academic work: ultimately I decided that yes, I was capable of it, but no, I wasn't taking to it like a duck to water, and that was OK. I let go of the romanticized notions of academic life that had drawn me to grad school, and I realized that proving my intelligence by gaining admission to the professoriate was not going to automatically give me a great quality of life. Oddly, deflating the importance of the dissertation allowed me to finish it. It was no longer THE VITAL THING upon which MY ENTIRE FUTURE and SENSE OF SELF rested; it was just a piece of work to get through.
Your mileage may vary. Best of luck to you.
posted by Orinda at 10:59 PM on July 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
I've only skimmed the other answers here, but it looks like there's a lot of good advice. For me, one key to finishing was to engage the services of a fantastic dissertation/career coach who helped me develop a repertoire of small "day-to-day techniques" for maintaining productivity. My experience was the same as BlooPen's: no one method worked all the time, but I was able to pick the approach that seemed like the best fit for my mood or the task at hand.
I realize that your question asks for "day-to-day techniques," and those are very important for every dissertator, but I have to be honest: I don't think I would have finished if I hadn't spent the 12 months leading up to my defense confronting all my doubts and anxieties head-on. I had spent years struggling to suppress the anxious voice in the back of my head that kept asking, "What if I don't finish? What if I don't get an academic job? What if I'm not really cut out for this?" Finally I addressed those questions for myself.
I seriously considered the consequences of dropping out of the Ph.D. program and taking the consolation master's. I decided that it wouldn't be the end of the world, but that I'd rather finish the Ph.D., since I was relatively close already (more than half done with the dissertation).
I spent a lot of time reflecting on not just the academic job market, but the academic job. Teaching and research were stimulating, but not as fun and fulfilling as I'd imagined, and I realized (with the help of a part-time, non-academic job) that there were some things I needed to be happy in a work situation, such as clearly-delineated work hours and time off, that I was unlikely to find in academe. I listened to my non-academic friends who seemed to be happy in their careers, and I realized that even if I finished the Ph.D., I didn't necessarily have to throw myself to the wolves on the academic job market—I could pursue other options. For my last year in grad school, I declined to take a teaching assignment, and instead divided my time between rapidly finishing the dissertation and gaining experience and skills in a new career field.
As for the question of whether I was really cut out for academic work: ultimately I decided that yes, I was capable of it, but no, I wasn't taking to it like a duck to water, and that was OK. I let go of the romanticized notions of academic life that had drawn me to grad school, and I realized that proving my intelligence by gaining admission to the professoriate was not going to automatically give me a great quality of life. Oddly, deflating the importance of the dissertation allowed me to finish it. It was no longer THE VITAL THING upon which MY ENTIRE FUTURE and SENSE OF SELF rested; it was just a piece of work to get through.
Your mileage may vary. Best of luck to you.
posted by Orinda at 10:59 PM on July 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
I have the same internal monologues. Exactly the same. Down to the I am so screwed/it's all my fault. Nearly daily. I'm in the sciences, but the thought processes are exactly the same.
The reason I'm doing this dissertation now, the motivation that is getting things written today, is so that when it's over I can put this away and never think about it again. That is my reward for finishing: I don't have to do it anymore. And the idea of not doing it anymore is magical. The idea of not only not doing it anymore, but not feeling guilty for not doing it? Sounds more delicious than ice cream and bourbon and sex. It's my only way through at this point. I still am not sure what I'll do afterwards, what kind of career I want, any of it. And I'm not torturing myself with that now (I have an adjunct position for the fall, so I have the luxury of knowing I won't starve, barely). I'll figure those things out later. Right now, I just want to be done -- so that I get to stop thinking about it.
posted by amelioration at 8:43 AM on July 7, 2010 [3 favorites]