Help for victims of domestic abuse?
July 3, 2010 10:45 PM Subscribe
My friend was assaulted by her husband last week. She's new to this country, and feels that she doesn't have anyone knowledgable of the law to talk to about what she can do, or what's going to happen...
My friend recently moved to the USA as a refugee. Her husband, who is from the same country, assaulted her last week when she didn't do something he wanted.
She was taken to the hospital, where the police came and took photos of her injuries. The husband spent the night in jail before being bailed out by a friend or co-worker; he's now out of the apartment.
She want's out of the marriage, but was told that in North Carolina there's some 366-day waiting period ("1-year + 1-day") to get a divorce.
→ Is that from the date of the marriage?
→ From the date of the filing for the divorce?
→ Either way, surely there's an exception for victims of domestic abuse, right...?
My friend is hearing from various people that, when her husband goes to court, he will just get a slap on the wrist with no jail time.
→ Is that what usually happens with first-time domestic abuse charges?
She is worried that this will happen and called me in tears.
She also feels in somewhat of a hopeless situation because her English skills (not 100% perfect, but perfectly understandable) are not as good as her husbands—that this might be a problem in her sticking up for herself with the authorities (the husband is lying about the incident—saying that she just made everything up and did these things to herself).
→ Can she get a restraining order now?
(The husband was seen near the apartment a day or two ago—(my friend's safe, she's staying with a neighbor))
→ If her husband gets no jail time, but is in fact found guilty of the assault, will this affect his getting a green card?
I believe that the police told her that she doesn't need to be present for the husbands court date, but she's wondering if he might get off easier if she doesn't show up. (My thinking is that the court will have the photos that the police took of her to tell her side of the story, but that's just me guessing so I didn't want to say)
My friend has plenty of questions—questions that the few people she knows in her community don't have the answers to, questions that I don't have the answers to.
→ Does anyone have suggestions of people or institutions that do pro bono work for victims of domestic abuse in NC? People or institutions that would be able to answer her questions, and be able to help her if she decides to move in one way or another?
(My friend and I thank you very much for any and all of your suggestions)
My friend recently moved to the USA as a refugee. Her husband, who is from the same country, assaulted her last week when she didn't do something he wanted.
She was taken to the hospital, where the police came and took photos of her injuries. The husband spent the night in jail before being bailed out by a friend or co-worker; he's now out of the apartment.
She want's out of the marriage, but was told that in North Carolina there's some 366-day waiting period ("1-year + 1-day") to get a divorce.
→ Is that from the date of the marriage?
→ From the date of the filing for the divorce?
→ Either way, surely there's an exception for victims of domestic abuse, right...?
My friend is hearing from various people that, when her husband goes to court, he will just get a slap on the wrist with no jail time.
→ Is that what usually happens with first-time domestic abuse charges?
She is worried that this will happen and called me in tears.
She also feels in somewhat of a hopeless situation because her English skills (not 100% perfect, but perfectly understandable) are not as good as her husbands—that this might be a problem in her sticking up for herself with the authorities (the husband is lying about the incident—saying that she just made everything up and did these things to herself).
→ Can she get a restraining order now?
(The husband was seen near the apartment a day or two ago—(my friend's safe, she's staying with a neighbor))
→ If her husband gets no jail time, but is in fact found guilty of the assault, will this affect his getting a green card?
I believe that the police told her that she doesn't need to be present for the husbands court date, but she's wondering if he might get off easier if she doesn't show up. (My thinking is that the court will have the photos that the police took of her to tell her side of the story, but that's just me guessing so I didn't want to say)
My friend has plenty of questions—questions that the few people she knows in her community don't have the answers to, questions that I don't have the answers to.
→ Does anyone have suggestions of people or institutions that do pro bono work for victims of domestic abuse in NC? People or institutions that would be able to answer her questions, and be able to help her if she decides to move in one way or another?
(My friend and I thank you very much for any and all of your suggestions)
Here's a list of domestic violence crisis assistance organizations in North Carolina. Most of them have crisis numbers you can probably call anytime and they'll be able to point you in the direction of someone who knows the specifics of NC law.
Thanks for being a good friend.
posted by corey flood at 11:08 PM on July 3, 2010
Thanks for being a good friend.
posted by corey flood at 11:08 PM on July 3, 2010
For legal help, try contacting the local LANC office. For general assistance try one of these local organizations.
Regarding the green card, you can definitely lose your green card if convinced of domestic violence, but that would definitely be something to talk to the legal aid about.
posted by Rhomboid at 11:12 PM on July 3, 2010
Regarding the green card, you can definitely lose your green card if convinced of domestic violence, but that would definitely be something to talk to the legal aid about.
posted by Rhomboid at 11:12 PM on July 3, 2010
IANAL and don't have any expertise on the subject, but I recall reading a few times about special protections of immigration status for victims of domestic violence. So you guys should ask a lawyer and/or domestic violence advocacy group about that -- she may be able to stay even if her husband is deported, even if her immigration status is currently tied to his in some way.
posted by Jacqueline at 11:19 PM on July 3, 2010
posted by Jacqueline at 11:19 PM on July 3, 2010
Rhomboid has it exactly right. Call your local LANC office first thing on Tuesday morning. If they're anything like the legal aid office I used to work with/for, they'll be networked to the gills and will be able to provide referrals to helpful community resources, along with legal info. They should also be able to answer her restraining order questions.
If you need to talk to someone before Tuesday, Here's a list of DV service providers for North Carolina. You might be able to hook up with some sort of advice or crisis counseling before the end of the 3-day weekend.
Good luck to both of you.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:33 AM on July 4, 2010
If you need to talk to someone before Tuesday, Here's a list of DV service providers for North Carolina. You might be able to hook up with some sort of advice or crisis counseling before the end of the 3-day weekend.
Good luck to both of you.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:33 AM on July 4, 2010
Another thing:
As soon as you can, sit down with her and do some basic safety planning. This worksheet will get you started.
Safety planning is absolutely crucial. If her husband shows up and gets in her face, a safety plan will help her to act quickly and efficiently to protect herself.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:39 AM on July 4, 2010
As soon as you can, sit down with her and do some basic safety planning. This worksheet will get you started.
Safety planning is absolutely crucial. If her husband shows up and gets in her face, a safety plan will help her to act quickly and efficiently to protect herself.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:39 AM on July 4, 2010
I think that in addition to helping her with the concrete resources so wisely provided here, you can help her to feel less unempowered by helping her to understand the process she'll be going through with this.
Wading into the unknown can be very stressful, on top of the original event that kicked this whole thing off . This is not an analogous situation, but recently I've had to start a moderately complicated law suit against a large organisation. Making my solicitor sit down with me and draw out a map of what would happen in what order, the choices at every stage, and the very fuzzy timeline for each part of the process was really, really helpful to helping me feel more in control.
Even if you don't have an answer to every question, like who her lawyer will be, I think that understanding what's going to unfold may be really helpful to your friend.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:10 AM on July 4, 2010
Wading into the unknown can be very stressful, on top of the original event that kicked this whole thing off . This is not an analogous situation, but recently I've had to start a moderately complicated law suit against a large organisation. Making my solicitor sit down with me and draw out a map of what would happen in what order, the choices at every stage, and the very fuzzy timeline for each part of the process was really, really helpful to helping me feel more in control.
Even if you don't have an answer to every question, like who her lawyer will be, I think that understanding what's going to unfold may be really helpful to your friend.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:10 AM on July 4, 2010
Where in NC is she? Raleigh/Durham?
What country is she originally from?
posted by amtho at 7:39 AM on July 4, 2010
What country is she originally from?
posted by amtho at 7:39 AM on July 4, 2010
If you all have difficulty finding resources locally, try contacting the ABA Commission on Domestic Violence.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 10:39 AM on July 4, 2010
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 10:39 AM on July 4, 2010
VAWA - Violence against Women Act (though it may not apply since the green card is still under process) DoJ link
Find an immigration lawyer (NOT family law) quick if they don't already have one or she doesn't. If she's on his application as spouse find out the ramifications immediately and get advice on what to do. This may include hiding from him without doing anything about it for a while until the EAD (employment authorisation doc) comes or having to play along so that she doesn't get thrown out. Yes, there is a chance that if he's convicted it will affect the green card application IF she is on his or its a family application unless they have seperate applciations or she has a job and has her own visa status independent of his. This is the worst part of domestic violence when dependent on the husband's visa status dammit. There's no recourse for the woman under VAWA in this case.
Even if she's not South Asian, Maitri has extensive information on immigrant spousal abuse situations in the US. They helped me from California though I was in Pittsburgh. They can also refer you to local immigration lawyers with experience in these kind of cases. Here's a referral from their website:
NORTH CAROLINA
KIRAN: Domestic Violence and Crisis Services for South Asians in North Carolina
PO Box 3513
Chapel Hill, NC 27515-3513
Office (919) 865 4006
Helpline (866) KIRAN INC (866) 547 2646
Email: kiraninc@hotmail.com
Website: http://www.kiraninc.org
DV organization - Promote the self-reliance and empowerment of South Asian women who are in crisis through outreach, peer support, and referrals in a confidential manner.
posted by infini at 10:55 AM on July 4, 2010
Find an immigration lawyer (NOT family law) quick if they don't already have one or she doesn't. If she's on his application as spouse find out the ramifications immediately and get advice on what to do. This may include hiding from him without doing anything about it for a while until the EAD (employment authorisation doc) comes or having to play along so that she doesn't get thrown out. Yes, there is a chance that if he's convicted it will affect the green card application IF she is on his or its a family application unless they have seperate applciations or she has a job and has her own visa status independent of his. This is the worst part of domestic violence when dependent on the husband's visa status dammit. There's no recourse for the woman under VAWA in this case.
Even if she's not South Asian, Maitri has extensive information on immigrant spousal abuse situations in the US. They helped me from California though I was in Pittsburgh. They can also refer you to local immigration lawyers with experience in these kind of cases. Here's a referral from their website:
NORTH CAROLINA
KIRAN: Domestic Violence and Crisis Services for South Asians in North Carolina
PO Box 3513
Chapel Hill, NC 27515-3513
Office (919) 865 4006
Helpline (866) KIRAN INC (866) 547 2646
Email: kiraninc@hotmail.com
Website: http://www.kiraninc.org
DV organization - Promote the self-reliance and empowerment of South Asian women who are in crisis through outreach, peer support, and referrals in a confidential manner.
posted by infini at 10:55 AM on July 4, 2010
Like I said, even if she's not south asia, you can ask them for immigration lawyer references for those who've got experience with these tricky green card application cases
posted by infini at 10:57 AM on July 4, 2010
posted by infini at 10:57 AM on July 4, 2010
North Carolina resources by county from Kiran Inc's website
usually local DV services can only help with the DV part. they have NO idea or experienc with the immigration aspect and that is the first critical thing in situations of this kind, else she'll end up in a legal tangle or back where she came from. DV is secondary, speaking from experience, if she'd rather not go back to her country of origin, in these kind of cases. I've seen women trapped in legal limbo hell due to this.
posted by infini at 11:01 AM on July 4, 2010
usually local DV services can only help with the DV part. they have NO idea or experienc with the immigration aspect and that is the first critical thing in situations of this kind, else she'll end up in a legal tangle or back where she came from. DV is secondary, speaking from experience, if she'd rather not go back to her country of origin, in these kind of cases. I've seen women trapped in legal limbo hell due to this.
posted by infini at 11:01 AM on July 4, 2010
Do NOT legally seperate if there is a joint application for the green card.
posted by infini at 11:02 AM on July 4, 2010
posted by infini at 11:02 AM on July 4, 2010
surely there's an exception for victims of domestic abuse
NOT for immigration pending cases, NO. If she divorces him she will HAVE to leave the country within days or weeks if she is on a joint application.
posted by infini at 11:04 AM on July 4, 2010
NOT for immigration pending cases, NO. If she divorces him she will HAVE to leave the country within days or weeks if she is on a joint application.
posted by infini at 11:04 AM on July 4, 2010
Response by poster: Thanks for all of your suggestions so far, please keep them coming.
I'm talking to my friend in a little bit and I'll ask her about whether her green card application is jointly with her husband, or separate.
Just a note (for the benefit of future Googlers), the 866- number listed above for Kiran is no longer good, it's been changed to 1-877-625-4726.
posted by blueberry at 1:28 PM on July 4, 2010
I'm talking to my friend in a little bit and I'll ask her about whether her green card application is jointly with her husband, or separate.
Just a note (for the benefit of future Googlers), the 866- number listed above for Kiran is no longer good, it's been changed to 1-877-625-4726.
posted by blueberry at 1:28 PM on July 4, 2010
Response by poster: I spoke with her and passed on some information that you guys provided.
Regarding the green card issue, she hasn't applied for it yet as she needs to have lived in the US for a year first.
posted by blueberry at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2010
Regarding the green card issue, she hasn't applied for it yet as she needs to have lived in the US for a year first.
posted by blueberry at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2010
Regarding the green card issue, she hasn't applied for it yet as she needs to have lived in the US for a year first.
Be sure to check its not related/connected or dependent on her marriage at all before doing anything etc
posted by infini at 12:18 PM on July 5, 2010
Be sure to check its not related/connected or dependent on her marriage at all before doing anything etc
posted by infini at 12:18 PM on July 5, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Parade of Horribles at 10:54 PM on July 3, 2010