How to own up to the past and be a good travel companion at the same time?
June 19, 2010 4:50 PM Subscribe
How to be mellow while traveling together with a friend I used to be very close to in college (but didn't date) and who I haven't seen for a long time?
posted by wallawallasweet to human relations (10 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Attempted nutshell form: We were great friends from the start with similar interests and the same major in college, but because I just didn't have the guts to commit we never became "official". Being with her and making her laugh were the fondest memories I had as an undergrad. She did ask once where I thought our relationship was going, but I was a coward and said what amounted to not being sure. Owing to a night of heavy drinking after everyone had passed senior exams, I think she expected that we would take things to the next level, but I didn't...and instead we slept together side by side that evening, only talking. I admit now that I was scared out of my wits, and things between us after that got pretty awkward, but we had parted on good terms with graduation, both of us leaving the country to pursue further studies and interests. We kept in touch with emails from time to time, but it petered off after a couple of years aside from holiday greetings and her informing me of the passing of one her parents.
I finished my service obligations to my country, worked for a year and am now working on a graduate degree. A couple months ago she contacted me informing me of her plans to visit Europe and whether I would like to meet up and travel together with her for a few days. I agreed with barely any hesitation because I really want to see her again, but also because I want to find some resolution to part of my past (I have moved constantly and tend to leave people behind for good). We live in different countries and we haven't seen each other in years, but in a few days we'll be reunited, we have made plans on where and when to meet, what to do, flight plans, lodgings, etc. I am excited this is actually materializing and also wondering "what should I expect?" and whether or not I should come into this experience with a clear mind and to let go of the past.
While I can't purge the thoughts of what could have been between us and don't want these sentiments to in any way make the trip awkward, I feel that my past fears of intimacy with her would be on the back of my mind. How do I reconcile this possibility but still have a great time, relax and catch up on the lost time? Thanks in advance for wading through...(first post, can anyone tell?)