Does she stay or does she go?
February 17, 2012 3:24 AM Subscribe
18 year old daughter doesn't want to go on annual family vacation because of anxiety. How does a caring single parent work through this?
posted by kinetic to human relations (36 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Me: single mom; three kids (20, 18, 13) who all live at home.
Every year for the past 7 years we go to the Bahamas for February vacation. A few weeks ago, the 20 year old said she'd rather just have the house to herself for the week and chill. Somewhat disappointed, but okay.
Last night the 18 year old (senior in high school) said she's been getting panicky at the thought of the flight and she can't face the idea of going either. She said she's been getting panicky at school, she also wants to stay home but she does want to get help for the anxiety (and she will call someone today to make an appointment).
Helpful info: kid in question has a history of flying anxiety, starting from the age of 4. Also, a while back I successfully completed a 12 week CBT program at the BU Center for Anxiety because I had started having panic attacks (so anxiety runs in the family). I also mention this because we know where to get her help...but she won't be treated by the day we need to fly.
However, she has a pediatrician who said she'd prescribe something for her to help her fly. I have meditation, self-hypnosis and guided imagery mp3s for her to listen to. But the kid said she'd just rather not go, she can't face it.
So how do I handle this? I don't have concerns about her safety or making stupid decisions while I'm in another country with her little brother, so I'm not worried about that, but I'm not happy about it either, if that makes sense. In other words, I'm certain she's not planning party central or other Bueller-type shenanigans once I'm away. But I don't like the idea of being in the Caribbean while she's at home with her sister (who is also a trustworthy kid).
Do I force her to go with meds? Can I force her?
Has anyone ever had a teen (or been that teen) who can help me out?