Lately, I've been working on cultivating more self-compassion, trying more to better connect with my friends and colleagues...but a key ingredient, addressing my vulnerability
issues is making the effort a hard-fought struggle. Writing a dissertation at the same time isn't helping much.
I think part of this stems from being guarded about my personal life, and the (un)conscious things I do in social situations to steer conversations away from people asking me detailed questions about my personal life. I'm reasonably good at small talk and moving conversations along varying directions, I'm equally deft at sprinkling humor into them, and I generally consider myself a good listener. For instance, I know that many of my closer friends willingly share a lot about their personal lives to me because they trust me. I don't aim to give advise or judge based on what they divulge to me, but I'm usually there with undivided awareness.
The problem is, I don't think its balanced since I hardly share or reciprocate anything of the same weight; but I feel like at the same time proactively volunteering personal details is something that I have difficulty with.
So I guess my question is: Is there something I'm doing subconsciously that makes it difficult for my friends to ask more personal questions about me? What can I do to foster a bit more intimacy in my friendships?Do I just need to share more proactively? Am I missing some social cues? Thanks a bunch in advance.