How do I at least get a date with a shy guy when I am shy and full of self-doubt?
May 2, 2010 9:36 AM Subscribe
I like shy boys and grumpy boys. I am shy. How to approach?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (24 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I am a 24 year old female who was in a LTR for a long time. Ever since then, I have had no luck in dating. I try to be outgoing and approach guys I find interesting, but none of the guys I have tried to talk to reciprocate.
I'm not a fashion model or anything, but I've been told by guy friends (of the type that I would date if they weren't my friends) that I am attractive. I dress well, and am in good shape. I think the problem is the combination of the fact that the boys I like tend to be shy, and I get my feelings hurt easily.
So, if I approach and talk to a guy I'm interested in, then they don't seem enthusiastic about talking to me, or don't ever come talk to me when I see them around, I assume they aren't interested in me at all. This has happened several times recently, and it's starting to make me feel bad about myself. The weird thing is that I've been flirted with a few times by guys who are more standardly good looking, but I get absolutely no love from the kind of guys I'm attracted to, kind of (pardon the labels) indie rock nerdy academic type guys. This might just be because the typical good looking guys are more flirty by nature, and flirt with any girl around.
Does anyone have any tips for drawing out shy/grumpy guys? Shy guys saying what kinds of things women do or say that make them interested in continuing contact, or ladies who have had success catching a shy boy's input would be helpful. General advice for how to talk to men is also good. One thing I can't do is just straight up ask a guy out who I don't already know well. Approaching men to talk to them at all was a big step for this scaredy cat.