Anxiety is for suckers, but laziness is not cool
March 17, 2010 9:11 AM Subscribe
Where does (my) laziness come from?
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (10 answers total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
I am functionally lazy, in that I keep my apartment fairly organized and I'm productive at getting my work done on time. In fact, when I'm not being lazy, I activate my anxiety to get me to do things and do it well. Otherwise, it's all a big bore and I could be indifferent to the outcome. I'd love to just lie around on a pretty leaf in a lily pond. However, with bills to pay and careers to be had, I can't do this, so I rile myself up into a worry fit to get things done.
What I can't understand is why I'm like this. Why do I even feel ennui at all? I'm taking one course part-time to fulfill pre-requisites for a graduate program, and after I take an exam, I need an extended break from the material (though there's an exam every two weeks), then I need to push myself to start reading again for the next exam. I relish napping and lying around. I love to relax, so I'm always having to wind myself up in order to get things done at home and work. I'm not a fun person when I wind myself up. I'm not a nervous wreck, but I feel burdened and it is unpleasant.
I'm guessing this comes from not having regular chores when I was a kid, and attending a really easy primary school where work was easy (later I was an A-/B+ student at a top high school, but would have been a solid B student if I'd not pushed myself), and generally not having any unique talents. I was also pretty unfocused and emotional and worked myself up into a state of anxiety to get stuff done then too.
So, my question is, why am I lazy? There must be a place between me utilizing my anxiety to get stuff done and me giving up and residing in the blissful oasis of total relaxation. It's always all or nothing with me, and I'd like to figure out how to get to that middle ground where I'm not constantly longing for a nap or to choose fun over fulfilling responsibilities, or to even stop provoking my own anxiety to get moving on things I need to do. How do I do that?