How should I seek therapy?
March 12, 2010 1:32 PM Subscribe
I've got a lot of quirks, and my friends are fairly tolerant of them, but I'm beginning to think they might be indicative of a deeper social anxiety that's beginning to spiral into depression. How should I seek therapy? I live in the US, and I've heard that it can be quite expensive.
I hate calling people on the phone -- it causes me great anxiety to place food orders, my roommate makes doctor appointments for me, and people tease me about it all the time. Obviously I know this isn't normal, and I don't even know what I'm scared of, exactly, but I didn't even consider it an issue until I've started having more invasive problems.
Unless I'm going to work, I realized that I have to really force myself to leave the house unless I'm with another, trusted person. I don't consider myself introverted, really, but it takes a lot of effort to make new friends, and keeping in touch with people has never been my forte. I have a close group of friends now, but if invited to a party I only go if I'll know a significant portion of people there.
I go days without sleeping, and lately I've been drinking fairly heavily just about every night. I'm not happy with my life right now, though there isn't really any reason not to be. I feel anxious and trapped.
I want to see a therapist or someone about this, but there's a couple of problems. One, of course, being that even thinking about making an appointment with someone I don't know is really daunting. The other is that I don't even know where to start, and whenever I don't know how to do something, I tend to just put it off. I've thought about going to my PCP, but I don't even know if this is something I should go to a medical doctor for help.
Any details would be greatly appreciated, or anything at all I can do on my own to fix this. I'm in the NYC area, and any recommendations for particular doctors would also be great, especially ones that are LGBT friendly.
I hate calling people on the phone -- it causes me great anxiety to place food orders, my roommate makes doctor appointments for me, and people tease me about it all the time. Obviously I know this isn't normal, and I don't even know what I'm scared of, exactly, but I didn't even consider it an issue until I've started having more invasive problems.
Unless I'm going to work, I realized that I have to really force myself to leave the house unless I'm with another, trusted person. I don't consider myself introverted, really, but it takes a lot of effort to make new friends, and keeping in touch with people has never been my forte. I have a close group of friends now, but if invited to a party I only go if I'll know a significant portion of people there.
I go days without sleeping, and lately I've been drinking fairly heavily just about every night. I'm not happy with my life right now, though there isn't really any reason not to be. I feel anxious and trapped.
I want to see a therapist or someone about this, but there's a couple of problems. One, of course, being that even thinking about making an appointment with someone I don't know is really daunting. The other is that I don't even know where to start, and whenever I don't know how to do something, I tend to just put it off. I've thought about going to my PCP, but I don't even know if this is something I should go to a medical doctor for help.
Any details would be greatly appreciated, or anything at all I can do on my own to fix this. I'm in the NYC area, and any recommendations for particular doctors would also be great, especially ones that are LGBT friendly.
Yes, you should go to a medical doctor. If you trust your GP, ask her/him to recommend a therapist or psychiatrist for you. I am not a doctor, but I have suffered from bouts of serious anxiety, and your symptoms match mine. Therapy and medication can help.
posted by decathecting at 1:47 PM on March 12, 2010
posted by decathecting at 1:47 PM on March 12, 2010
MeMail me. I know a lot of therapists.
posted by Obscure Reference at 1:47 PM on March 12, 2010
posted by Obscure Reference at 1:47 PM on March 12, 2010
If you're in New York, I can make a recommendation for a therapist my friend is seeing that specializes in social anxiety. PM me if you want the details.
Failing that, I would try a google search. My primary care practitioner (I assume this is what you mean by PCP) recommended me to a specialist for a sleep disorder, who ignored me & prescribed meds - not what I wanted. A google search, however, sent me to a kickass clinic where I could have a real conversation with the doctor about treatments that I read about that have some success rate. Try a few specialists if you need to. You can call your PCP and get them to fax the referral for the insurance company.
posted by MesoFilter at 1:48 PM on March 12, 2010
Failing that, I would try a google search. My primary care practitioner (I assume this is what you mean by PCP) recommended me to a specialist for a sleep disorder, who ignored me & prescribed meds - not what I wanted. A google search, however, sent me to a kickass clinic where I could have a real conversation with the doctor about treatments that I read about that have some success rate. Try a few specialists if you need to. You can call your PCP and get them to fax the referral for the insurance company.
posted by MesoFilter at 1:48 PM on March 12, 2010
This doesn't really answer your question about how to find a therapist (which is a GREAT move, and in which I wish you the best of luck), but I think it might be important for you to hear just about now:
I think you need to recognize that all of your problems (except for the phone thing, which I'll get to in a minute) are symptoms of plain ol' run-of-the-mill depression. And that's not to discount them at all. In fact, I think you should take it as good news. You have a treatable condition that lots and lots and lots of other people suffer from. You're not broken. You have something arguably as common as the common cold, and once you find a therapist (which, yes, can be daunting), you'll start feeling better. You're not trapped at all.
I hate calling people on the phone.... Obviously I know this isn't normal...
"Normal" is a bad word to use here, so I'll avoid it. But you know what? Phone phobia and anxiety are really, really common. Very common. I tell you this so that, again, you'll start to see that you're not trapped. At all. You've got some stuff that lots of other people also have. There's no shame in that. At all. These things are not death sentences. They are treatable. And you're doing exactly the right thing to treat them -- you're taking the first step toward seeking help.
Best of luck to you. Remember that most therapists have sliding scales, and that there are low-cost options out there. I'm sure you'll get lots of info here on how to access them.
And again, congratulations and good luck. You're doing the right thing.
posted by mudpuppie at 2:14 PM on March 12, 2010 [1 favorite]
I think you need to recognize that all of your problems (except for the phone thing, which I'll get to in a minute) are symptoms of plain ol' run-of-the-mill depression. And that's not to discount them at all. In fact, I think you should take it as good news. You have a treatable condition that lots and lots and lots of other people suffer from. You're not broken. You have something arguably as common as the common cold, and once you find a therapist (which, yes, can be daunting), you'll start feeling better. You're not trapped at all.
I hate calling people on the phone.... Obviously I know this isn't normal...
"Normal" is a bad word to use here, so I'll avoid it. But you know what? Phone phobia and anxiety are really, really common. Very common. I tell you this so that, again, you'll start to see that you're not trapped. At all. You've got some stuff that lots of other people also have. There's no shame in that. At all. These things are not death sentences. They are treatable. And you're doing exactly the right thing to treat them -- you're taking the first step toward seeking help.
Best of luck to you. Remember that most therapists have sliding scales, and that there are low-cost options out there. I'm sure you'll get lots of info here on how to access them.
And again, congratulations and good luck. You're doing the right thing.
posted by mudpuppie at 2:14 PM on March 12, 2010 [1 favorite]
Except for the sleep thing, that used to be my life. In college, I was pretty much trapped in my dorm room unless it was to go to class or to go somewhere that I could drink heavily. Three years ago, I was diagnosed with panic disorder and put on two medications. I am nearly free of agoraphobia, and I rarely have panic attacks. Mindfulness meditation has also helped a lot.
Looks like you'll get some referrals from this thread, but if those don't pan out, your local LGBT center will almost definitely have a list of queer-friendly doctors and therapists.
posted by desjardins at 2:50 PM on March 12, 2010
Looks like you'll get some referrals from this thread, but if those don't pan out, your local LGBT center will almost definitely have a list of queer-friendly doctors and therapists.
posted by desjardins at 2:50 PM on March 12, 2010
If you memail me I can also recommmend a therapist in NYC.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 5:20 PM on March 12, 2010
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 5:20 PM on March 12, 2010
I hate phoning people and will go to great (read: excessive) lengths to avoid it if possible. Why oh why can everyone not just have an email address or somewhere I can send an SMS to?!
posted by knapah at 3:00 AM on March 13, 2010
posted by knapah at 3:00 AM on March 13, 2010
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posted by booknerd at 1:45 PM on March 12, 2010