I need some new poker one-liners
January 14, 2010 8:36 AM Subscribe
PokerFilter: I need some witty and/or lame one-liners to throw down throughout the course of a poker game. Examples within!
posted by bjork24 to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (14 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I play in a weekly poker game with seven of my friends, and I love throwing out witty, often surreal, one-liners regarding the state of the game. For instance:
- If I'm dealt a bad hand: "I haven't seen cards this shitty since I went dumpster diving at the Hallmark factory!"
- If I'm having a bad game: "I'm giving away chips like a waitress at [[insert Mexican restaurant]]!"
- If the flop is all red cards: "I haven't seen this much red on the table since I took that Summer job as a janitor at the women's clinic!"
- If I hit a flush: "You guys better jump out of the shower, because I've gotta flush!" (this one is from "Friends", sadly)
So, with that, I thought I'd query the hive mind to come up with a few more. No lines barred! Give me your tired, your lame, your crude, your off-color, your surreal poker one-liners. Thanks!