Where could one be a modern hermit?

October 21, 2009 7:14 AM

Everyone has their if-I-win-the-lottery/if-my-company-gets-bought dreams. Mine involves settling down in a small house somewhere to a comfortable life of solitude with all the modern conveniences. But my daydreaming brain has an unfortunate practical streak, insisting on knowing exactly where I could do that, and would it be safe, how could I get food, yadda yadda.

So, hivemind, where do you think/know a person could live under the following conditions?

1. Isolated. No neighbors within hearing or sight.
2. But SAFE. A woman living alone wouldn't have to freak out about home invasions and the like.
3. Electricity and internet a must.
4. Food delivery, preferably internet-based but phone could work.
5. Postal service at least once a week so I can get stuff from Amazon, NewEgg, whatever.
6. Nice to have: forest all around. Even better, within earshot of the ocean.

posted by Billegible to home & garden (38 comments total)

Sounds like what you want is an island in Maine. There are a ton, with varying degrees of population density. Woody, check. Ocean, check. Everything else depends on the particular island.
posted by oinopaponton at 7:17 AM on October 21, 2009

Everything except the food delivery would be easy to find -- that describes most of the rural US, actually. As long as you aren't living in the local meth alley, it's plenty safe; electricity and phone lines are reasonably ubiquitous unless you are trying for off-the-grid living.

As you get more rural you're more likely to have a post office box rather than home delivery; UPS and Fed Ex have a bit more coverage but not quite total.

But food delivery is going to be pretty rare, though you could almost certainly set up some sort of special deal where you pay a local teenager to shop for you and leave the food on the doorstep, something like that.
posted by Forktine at 7:24 AM on October 21, 2009

Given that the underpinning assumption is that you've won the lottery, the answer really is: anywhere you want it to be. Lots of money gives you lots of scope to enforce your desires on your preferences. In other words, while "isolated" and "food delivery" are generally mutually exclusive, were you living in a semi-remote cabin in Montana, you could undoubtedly hire a local resident to do your weekly grocery shop and deliver your goods to you. This same person could also pick up and take away your mail.

Security is, again, something you buy in. Not in terms of guards and patrols, but in terms of electronic monitoring and perhaps a dog. Electricity is the smallest hurdle as there are lots of options there (solar, generator, regular depending on location) and satellite internet is an expensive but problem-solving option, too.

So really, I think you're looking at this the wrong way. Should you win the lottery, it's not where could you live, but where do you want to live? I've always thought Vermont, Maine, the Carolinas and Montana were lovely settings along the lines of what you're talking about.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:24 AM on October 21, 2009

Good point, DarlingBri, but I don't like to think of winning the lottery in terms of unlimited finances - let's say it's more about never having to work again and having enough to buy the home and some comfy couches. Living in a cage with electrified bars is not so appealing.

Me likee the satellite internet option though. Yummy!
posted by Billegible at 7:35 AM on October 21, 2009

Mrs. A and I honeymooned in Dahlonega, Georgia. It was out-of-the-way, rural, wooded, beautiful, but with conveniences. I'm sure some of the tour guides at the gold mines are modern-day hermits just like you describe. I still joke about dropping out of the rat race, moving there, and helping out at the Kangaroo Conservation Center. It's a lovely place.

There's probably very similar locations all along the Appalachian Mountains.
posted by Anephim at 7:46 AM on October 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Oh, no, a cage with electrified bars would be... unappealing. Were it me, however, I'd want some external CCTV cameras I could flip though on my television when the fancy struck me, and the ability to flip on an external floodlight or, you know, six for those rare and unlikely instances where something seemed to be going bump in the night.

Plus, you could always build... a panic room! (Don't rent that movie.)

Anyway, there are very nice, low-key, non-intrusive ways to implement that sort of thing and there are new and really cool gadgety products on the market every year. If you ever get the chance to go to a commercial security conference, you should take a look; it's actually really interesting. Plus when you know what some of this stuff is, you start noticing it in places you never saw it before, like resort properties, plush hotels, shopping malls and the homes of people who's possession of such systems suddenly leads you to wonder if they lead much more interesting lives than you ever gave them credit for....
posted by DarlingBri at 7:47 AM on October 21, 2009

I've always thought one needn't get too extreme with the isolation factor in these scenarios -- isolation is the ingredient that makes it difficult to achieve all of the other objectives (Internet, safety, food delivery). How many acres would you need to feel isolated? In the Hudson Valley of NY, for example, you can get 75 acres of land, including creek frontage, and still be within a couple of miles of full-service supermarkets, electricians, police, and even trains.
posted by xo at 7:48 AM on October 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'm pretty sure you can find most of this on the outskirts of the small towns that dot New England. You can easily be in the middle of the woods, but 20 minutes from basic civilization. I've actually lived mostly like this (minus Internet-based food delivery and the optional ocean, although lakes are everywhere) in Vermont.
posted by General Malaise at 7:50 AM on October 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I agree food delivery is the problem here, especially if you mean a business (and are you talking about restaurant food delivery or groceries?) that offers it as a regular service. OTOH, everything can be had for a price, and I'm sure you could make a special arrangement with a restaurant/store dozens of miles away if you were willing to pay enough for it, or hire someone to do the same.

As for the others, could a sufficiently large lake substitute for the ocean? Much of the area around Lake Superior would fit, as would the Canadian side of Lake Huron. I'd be particularly attracted to Manitoulin Island.

Potential drawbacks: the winters up there would be a dealbreaker for some people. As far as safety, bears would be more of a concern than people with malicious intent.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:51 AM on October 21, 2009

Stupid iPhone ruined my link! Check some representative listings out at hillrhinebeck.com.
posted by xo at 7:51 AM on October 21, 2009

I actually think that living just outside of a rural community (say on the coast somewhere) would help with food delivery, which I agree is the primary difficulty. Getting delivery from the local branch of a major supermarket chain would likely involve hiring a third party to do the shopping and/or the delivery (although some chains, like Harris Teeter have some sort of curbside pick-up option, which would solve the shopping part of it).

A truly local grocery or general store, however, would be much more likely to already have some sort of delivery service and/or would be willing to work one out with you, perhaps even down to lining up a local kid. I mean, I can't imagine the store manager at a chain being willing to recommend a third-party delivery person, but I can totally picture the store owner in some of the small towns I've known saying something like, "yeah, I'll send my cousin's kid over with it."
posted by clerestory at 7:54 AM on October 21, 2009

Food delivery is not a problem. Hire some kid. Once every couple of weeks he comes over, picks up your list, and fetches groceries for you. $20-200/mo, depending on whether he can drive, boat or fly to your secret lair.
posted by rokusan at 7:57 AM on October 21, 2009

I'm a woman, and I've done something similar to what you're thinking of. I live alone in a small house in the woods, no neighbors within sight, though I can hear some of them when they run their tractor or mower. It's great, though here are some of the catches you're looking for:

Food delivery: I'm only 2 miles from town but I can't get pizza delivered here. The last time I checked, the town (pop. about 90k) has no grocery store that accepts online orders, and I suspect having food delivered here would either be "impossible" (see pizza) or expensive. A big garden right outside your door is a good but partial solution. I agree a local kid would be your best bet.

Internet: I was on dial-up before the cable came out here. The cable connection is somewhat unreliable, dropping out on windy days or for no apparent reason at all. Satellite would be slower and much more expensive, and my brief fling with it was challenging because I live in the woods with few clear views of the sky. DSL isn't available.

Cell phone: You'll need to check coverage before choosing a provider, and you probably won't have fast data service.

Postal service: I've eliminated as much postal mail as possible, paying bills online and getting clients to pay me electronically, due to the mis-delivery and occasional theft of mail. In some rural areas, meth users will drive around looking for mailboxes with their flags up and steal the checks inside. (However, in my area, the only proven thief has been the mail carrier herself.) Also, despite my many calls to the post office, packages sent through the postal service are left at the edge of the road rather than being brought down my drive, and some have disappeared or been drenched with rain or snow. Private carriers like UPS or Fed Ex deliver to the door.

Electricity: When you live surrounded by trees, you're more likely to lose power during ice storms and the like. You'll want to have a heating source that doesn't rely on electricity. In my area, that's a woodstove or a propane heater that doesn't use a blower. When the electricity is out for a long time, I take my laptop to town and work there.

Safety: I feel safer here than I did when living in a city because few strangers know I live here. The flip side is that it takes the sheriff awhile to get here, if they come at all (they don't have enough deputies so they don't do anything about minor incidents). Ambulances take about 15 minutes to get here.

In my 10 years here, there has been only one clearly hostile intrusion onto my property: someone snuck down my drive and sabotaged my car while I slept, yanking spark plug cables until they broke. Neighbors and I have determined it was probably a case of mistaken identity (my neighbor had ticked someone off). That has been the only hostile intrusion and the only time I felt unsafe, in contrast to the many times I felt unsafe living in the city and had things stolen from my house and yard.

Also, you can choose a property that has limited access, which will make it less attractive to bad guys. If there's only one way in and out, a property isn't going to be super appealing to a bad guy, especially in an area with lots of hunters and therefore lots of gun owners.
posted by PatoPata at 8:10 AM on October 21, 2009 [9 favorites]

My friend's family has an amazing 500 acres in the woods of the Upper Peninsula ("the U.P.") of Michigan. They built their own house in the middle and are totally secluded. They grow some fruits and veggies, hunt for some of their meat, and buy everything else in town. Their electricity is through a generator, and they have a wood-burning stove for heat. They have internet and cable, somehow. It feels a lot more modern than you might think.
posted by emilyd22222 at 8:10 AM on October 21, 2009

Not that this directly answers the question, but security and remoteness conflict with each other. Security is not just a matter of being safe from home invasion. It's also your accessibility to emergency responders. The farther way you are, the longer you're going to lie on the floor suffering through a heart attack, or watching the house burn, or whatever.

My guess is that with parsimony, one could live a long life on the earnings from investing about $1 million, but that doesn't buy you remoteness. OTOH, if your lottery payout was more than $1 mil, you could probably buy 20 acres just outside of some small town in New Hampshire, build a house in the middle of it, and still have enough left over to live on. A 20-acre plot is not quite "never see neighbors" size, but when you're in the middle of it, your neighbors aren't visible and you feel pretty isolated.
posted by adamrice at 8:14 AM on October 21, 2009

The Catskills and their northern foothills (still close to trains, unlike the Adirondacks), Waldron or Lummi Island in the San Juans, Cuttyhunk (most of the year).
posted by jgirl at 8:19 AM on October 21, 2009

Everything except the food delivery would be easy to find -- that describes most of the rural US, actually.

I agree with this. Here in Montana, there are plenty of places within an hour's drive of a city that you would never see or know of unless you went looking for them. But you're not likely to get food delievery. The people I know who live in such places have big freezers and pantries and make a trip into town once or twice a month for food and other supplies.

In addition to satellite internet, there are also servcies that provide internet through line-of-sight (microwave?) antennas.
posted by The Deej at 8:22 AM on October 21, 2009

Chiming in again to agree with adamrice. If my house caught on fire, that would be the end of my house. If a falling tree landed on my leg (almost happened), I would lie there for a long time and possibly die, and I'm not that far from neighbors or town.

But safety is overrated, in my opinion. My life feels more honest and real because it's less protected from nature.
posted by PatoPata at 8:24 AM on October 21, 2009

Much of coastal Northern California (Sonoma, Mendocino, Humboldt, Del Norte) fits your criteria, with the added benefit that it's not going to snow on you like it will in Maine or Montana or the U.P., if that's important to you.
posted by rtha at 8:32 AM on October 21, 2009

To clarify, food delivery = groceries. Not a huge issue as I don't object to stockpiling non-perishables but it's nice to get the occasional perishable that can't be grown.

This is all great stuff, though very U.S.-oriented. What about other countries? New Zealand? Greece? Other beautiful places?
posted by Billegible at 8:33 AM on October 21, 2009

My daydreaming mind has spent an unreasonable amount of time thinking about Bermuda. It's civilized but isolated from the rest of the world. It's got modern amenities but old-world charm. A temperate climate, casual vibe, and surrounded by ocean. I've never been there so my only experience is what I've read online but it seems like a safe, quiet bit of paradise to retire to. It meets most of your criteria except for the no-neighbors and foresty parts. Although if you have sudden riches, I'm sure you could acquire a large plot of land somewhere on the island and plant lots of trees. It's less of a "bunker" than what others have suggested, and probably a pretty mellow place to settle down in, apart from the occasional hurricane (an overhyped danger, in my opinion).
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 8:38 AM on October 21, 2009

If you're concerned about other countries, borrow a copy of Neil Strauss' Emergency. I wouldn't necessarily buy it. It's another memoir-with-informed-tips about his urge to find a safe location. He spends a great deal of time and money looking to secure a place in another country. I found the legal aspects of this to be quite interesting.

Also, with regards to electricity, if EEStor comes through with what they say they have, you could have home storage of electrical energy for cheaper than you could with various batteries, and with a near infinite duty cycle. After that it's solar panels, perhaps a modest wind turbine or two, and pico hydro if you have a stream available.
posted by adipocere at 8:50 AM on October 21, 2009

Food/other delivery is how much you think it's worth. Jokes aside, you can always arrange things. I think that you would probably have a financial adviser or lawyer managing your estate and you can make sure that your essentials are delivered how you want.

As far as location, Western Massachusetts (not in ocean earshot) has plenty in the category of "rural but not too rural". A quick check on realtor.com found this place in Hawley, MA on 16 acres which seems to be pretty isolated from its neighbors.

I know people in that area, so I know it has high speed internet.

As far as safety is concerned, get a dog, carry pepper spray, set up motion lights. Of all things, I would not put up fencing and gates as they attract attention to you.
posted by plinth at 8:53 AM on October 21, 2009

I was just getting ready to post when I scrolled down and saw Winsome's post!

I was thinking of the little Bermudian islands in the Great Sound or on the East side. Sandys would be great, too. I've been there 3 times, most recently last month, and it is much more developed and litter-strewn than when I first went in 1991. McMansions are cropping up in the Western parishes. "Foresty" is not a word I would use.

Bermuda, however, has 75-85 percent humidity. I can't get it out of my mind either, and I read Bermuda blogs regularly. It's rough for ex-pats, and has some racial tension (I said "some") that would surprise the tourists who love it.

But I do think about a pink Christmas or even Thanksgiving.
posted by jgirl at 8:59 AM on October 21, 2009

Schoharie County and Otsego County in New York would do well. I knew someone who referred to Washington state as America's best-kept secret, and I think I'd go along with that.
posted by jgirl at 9:03 AM on October 21, 2009

Vermont, pretty much anywhere outside of Chittenden County. Definitely isolated and safe (in terms of home invasion), but unsafe in that it will take emergency crews a little while to get there. The lifestyle you describe requires self-sufficiency. If there's a windstorm and a bunch of huge trees fall in your driveway and all over your yard, you're going to have to break out the chainsaw. Less spread out than the west so a town will be less than an hour's drive away. Obviously, no food delivery. I didn't even know that existed outside of major cities?
posted by pintapicasso at 9:33 AM on October 21, 2009

Re locations outside the US, you're welcome to come to Ireland. Land here != cheap, though, as it's in limited supply what with being a tiny island and all. One advantage of Ireland (aside from the fact that we've many habitable islands on which you can comfortable live) over Bermuda, Greece, etc is that while we have some wild and crazy weather that's deeply romantic in the Bronte sense, we do not get weather more malicious than flooding - no hurricanes, earthquakes, or snowstorms of the New England or Canadian varieties.
posted by DarlingBri at 9:54 AM on October 21, 2009

South Island NZ.
posted by edgeways at 10:03 AM on October 21, 2009

The UK may be very densely populated but Scotland isn't and has tons of remote communities and hundreds of islands, almost all of which will have a postal service.

Downsides - the Scottish Tourist board only takes pictures on the three days a year that it's sunny. Four hours daylight in the winter might.
posted by rhymer at 10:06 AM on October 21, 2009

You should treat yourself to a subscription to Countryside Magazine. It's terrific "move to an isolated farm" daydream fodder, and really informative too! Parts of past issues are online.
posted by Asparagirl at 10:08 AM on October 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm thinking Japan for my eventual retreat. Population-wise, the country is actually shrinking, eventually making inconvenient and otherwise uneconomic land less unaffordable (land is still amazingly expensive over there).

amazon.co.jp and the Foreign Buyers Club offer home delivery through the Japan post, which AFAICT is a pretty competent delivery outfit, though of course there's no guarantee that national delivery will be an option in 30 years.

In 2050 there will be under 15M people age 25-39, down from the 26M currently.

I call dibs on the Izu Hanto.
posted by mokuba at 10:19 AM on October 21, 2009

There are wonderful places in Greece, for sure. One island that we love that isn't overrun by tourism, that also has an airport, and where you can still find affordable, beautiful property is Ikaria, where Icarus tried out his wings with unhappy results. (Look, here's a place that fits the bill!), but food delivery is unlikely, and internet is a question mark. Also, you'd need some kind of advocate to sort through the insane Greek bureaucracy. Note: I don't know anything about that particular property, and I also don't know that foreign assistance agent personally

There are lots of amazing places, but you want an island of a certain size (big enough to offer exploration options, big enough to have hospitals/doctors/etc. as well as some of the amenities that come with having a certain amount of tourism) with regular ferry service and an airport (because some islands are entirely cut off when the sea is too rough) that yet isn't overdeveloped and touristy.
posted by taz at 11:32 AM on October 21, 2009

Another thing to consider is how the region you're considering will cope when oil prices rise, especially if the prices rise suddenly. Things to look at would be the availability of non-oil-based transport, the ability of the region to grow its own food, and energy requirements in general.
posted by PatoPata at 11:51 AM on October 21, 2009

Look at areas around Stockholm, Sweden.
posted by tarvuz at 12:08 PM on October 21, 2009

Oh yeah, I live in the Appalachian mountains and know people that live something close to this already. They are kinda broke, but they homestead, so they pretty much have everything they need. They come into town like once a week to do shopping, laundry, and go to the bank or something. They have internet, free range chickens, a river to swim in not 10 minutes a way and and an amazing view. If you had the money, you could def. pull this off where you hardly every had to see someone, and there are a million people I know that would trek out to deliver mail and groceries for some extra cash.
posted by Rocket26 at 12:19 PM on October 21, 2009

Come to Montana! Everything you need, nothing you don't. No ocean - but that means no hurricanes, tsunamis, etc. We've got plenty of lakes, though!
posted by davidmsc at 12:57 PM on October 21, 2009

1. Isolated. No neighbors within hearing or sight.

Northern California/Oregon/Washington coast...Maybe more inland? I like Montana and Eastern Washington as well.

2. But SAFE. A woman living alone wouldn't have to freak out about home invasions and the like.

This is going to vary no matter where you are, but I think you can make sure the structure where you live to be sure and off the beaten path enough that this isn't really an issue.

3. Electricity and internet a must.

Solar, geothermal, wind with backup diesel or LP generator. Internet via 3G cell network, Cable or Satellite.

4. Food delivery, preferably internet-based but phone could work.

This is basically obtainable with an arrangement with the local grocery store. You can probably do standing orders with a store and set up a credit account with them and arrange for someone to deliver.

5. Postal service at least once a week so I can get stuff from Amazon, NewEgg, whatever.

Probably going to be PO box, but no reason you couldn't follow the same method you use with grocery for delivery.

6. Nice to have: forest all around. Even better, within earshot of the ocean.

Forests are pretty easy, warm enough oceans to swim in are more difficult. Maybe a lake or river works just as well ?
posted by iamabot at 1:02 PM on October 21, 2009

What about other countries? New Zealand?

The west coast of the South Island of NZ has most of what you want in spades. Large areas of temperate rainforest, lots of isolation [the population of the entire west coast is less than 40k, the majority in 3 towns], proximity to the sea, reasonable to good services, though getting your groceries delivered might be tricky.

Karamea and around Punakaiki are my favourite spots, but there are plenty more to choose from.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 6:12 PM on October 21, 2009