What do I do for our first anniversary?

September 23, 2009 7:53 AM

I have no idea what to do for our first wedding anniversary. There are time and money complications.

This is the first relationship (for me) that's even made it to the year mark, so I've never celebrated an anniversary before (we never made a big point of it while we were dating). What's the tradition? Do we give each other gifts?

It's next Monday, so I don't have a lot of time to plan. We both have to work that day. He has a Big Important Meeting and is likely to be stressed out that evening and the one before. I can take the day off if I need to. I'd like to do something on the actual day, although logistically the main event should be on the weekend.

We don't have the money to go to a nice hotel for the weekend so we are staying at my parents' cabin in remote northern Wisconsin. His boss has offered to pay for a nice dinner (short version: he knows I hate his guts and he's trying to get on my good side, plus he's trying to keep an employee). There are no nice restaurants in the remote area we're visiting. I am sure the evenings will involve the obvious romantic activity, but I'm trying to think of other special things I can do for him. Our first year of marriage has been immensely stressful, and I'd like to do something that marks a new beginning. We're changing jobs and locations soon so this is an ideal time.

We're in our 30s, live in the Chicago area, no kids, not much of a budget. I'm a frequent contributor to MeFi and my identity will be pretty obvious to those who know me so feel free to also contact me via other means; I just don't want my husband reading my past questions.

posted by anonymous to grab bag (9 comments total)

If there are no nice restaurants, could you take the dinner money, head to a gourmet shop or two, and pack a picnic lunch? A candlelight picnic by a remote cabin sounds pretty romantic to me.

If you're changing locations soon, maybe you can make a scrapbook with your thoughts and some pictures and keepsakes about your first year together?

Low/no-cost ideas: Bubble bath, massage, rent a favorite DVD or watch a favorite show together on the couch, notes left in places where he'd find them throughout the day, e-mails at random times throughout the day letting him know you're thinking about him.
posted by xingcat at 8:19 AM on September 23

The traditional gift is paper, which I interpret as paper. Whatever you do, where ever you go, get your spouse a book as a gift. A signed first edition of his favorite book (or book by favorite author) can be surprisingly affordable on ABE.
posted by mattbucher at 8:25 AM on September 23

Ugh. I meant "which I interpret as a book."
posted by mattbucher at 8:26 AM on September 23

The traditional first anniversary gift is paper which allows for a lot of things, many very cheap:
Post-it notes with funny sayings
Handsome stationery
Paper airplanes
handmade gift certificates for "services"
tickets to a concert
maps (to a future vacation destination?)
posters
posted by pointystick at 8:26 AM on September 23

For my first wedding anniversary, reflecting the paper theme, I took out a classified ad in the newspaper wishing Mrs. Shallow Center a very happy one-year.

Oh, and congrats!
posted by shallowcenter at 8:50 AM on September 23 [1 favorite]

The fancy picnic idea sounds really good - spend the money on things you really like but don't get except for special occasions. For my husband and me, that would be things like brie or nice smoked salmon. Also, I don't know if you saved any of your wedding cake, but that's a great thing to have.

As for trying to organise stuff, sometimes you can just do too much, especially if you are both busy. Our first anniversary came at a really bad time, but we were both committed to the idea of hosting a fancy party on the weekend after. But we spent so much time and money organising it that we ended up having a huge fight and a miserable time at the party (and worse, made all our friends feel bad). I was much happier with what we did on the actual day, which was that we went to a cheap sushi restaurant and eat raw fish and green tea ice-cream until we were very full. That was romantic (we love sushi) and fun and special.

Going away to a cabin is special in and of itself. Get some nice food, and nice wine/drink you like to share, relax and do the romantic things you know you will do. Just being together will be special, and being together in a quiet, pretty place will be even better.
posted by jb at 8:59 AM on September 23

For the paper part, I'd consider giving him either your favorite picture of the two of you, or your favorite picture of yourself that he can put on his desk.

And then, if you can cook, I'd suggest making him a favorite meal and enjoying a nice bottle of wine and some couple time. It's more about the thought than the gift, but if you need more, then include a card you've written a romantic note in and put it on his plate. Light some candles.

Did you do that thing where you save the top of the wedding cake in the freezer? You could have that for dessert--but keep some brownies handy, or make your own cake as well, because it will NOT taste good.

If you still have your wedding cake topper, put that on the dessert you serve!
posted by misha at 9:42 AM on September 23

How far north are you going?

Northern Wisconsin is beautiful and often completely isolated. Timms Hill is the highest point in Wisconsin, and in my opinion, a very remote and romantic place to hike or have a picnic and see the fall colors. If you're a little further south or pass through on your way north, check out Rib Mountain in Wausau - the ski lifts run through late September and early October so you can view the colors from up high (more info here).
posted by theraflu at 11:01 AM on September 23

These are mostly ideas for your weekend at the cabin:

- See how well you know each other: play around with some questions from The Newlywed Game or something similar.

- Make plans: create a bucket list, design your dream house together, talk about vacations you’d love to take, pick your favourite baby names (if applicable)

- If you like to write, write each other a poem or make a list of your favourite things about each other (these would be nice to put into a scrapbook with pictures from your getaway)

- Do a cheap but fun activity together (jigsaw puzzle, model airplane, gingerbread house?)

- Buy a book and try something you’ve never done (cookbook, massage, tantric sex?)

For the actual anniversary, since your husband will be coming home from a stressful day, maybe just light some candles, share a bubblebath and keep it low key? You could make or buy a cake to share as well.

Good luck on your fresh start and enjoy your anniversary! Congrats!
posted by yawper at 12:45 PM on September 23