Ideas for 10th wedding anniversary in midst of marital stress?
September 18, 2012 8:10 AM Subscribe
How should my husband and I celebrate our 10th anniversary given some recent marriage difficulties? I am looking for ideas that honor our years together but aren't traditional romantic gestures, which might feel a bit hollow or forced right now.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (18 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
My husband and I are coming up to ten years of marriage, and we have two lovely, healthy children. Over the past several months I developed strong feelings for another man, a friend, which culminated in a night of drinking and a couple of kisses. I told my husband about this soon after, and the emotional fallout has been, not surprisingly, incredibly stressful for both of us.
We're working on these issues now. I'm in therapy, and we'll be in couples' counseling soon. My husband has been incredibly supportive and amazing, including when I've needed some space to mourn the end of my friendship and relationship with this other man. I am beginning to think my marriage might recover and we can move forward, and that's a good feeling because it's been a while since I've had much hope for us.
My husband went into romance overdrive when he found out about my infidelity, and he started planning a romantic anniversary weekend away. I prodded him all spring with ideas for our anniversary weekend, and he never liked any of my suggestions for various reasons, so this was a bit of a sore point for me in addition to feeling like something I couldn't do sincerely. I asked him to pull back on plans for the romantic weekend, and he was hurt but understanding.
Now I am looking for ideas of how to celebrate this anniversary, possibly but not necessarily with our kids, and probably not with a romantic date night, which might feel forced given our recent problems. I'm also reluctant to throw a party where we'd have to perform some version of perfect couple for our friends. I'm open to ideas for gifts, outings, gestures, anything that would help us recognize and honor our marriage and what it's given us.
Please be gentle. I messed up, and we both know it, and he's forgiven me and I'm working on forgiving myself, and we are healing and trying to move forward.