Relationship advice books needed

March 30, 2009 10:13 AM

Who's the Dr. Phil for the Dan Savage audience?

I have been a long-time Dan Savage reader, and think he's the cream of the advice column crop. I've even been known to appear on his podcast once. I find his advice usually quite spot-on, his politics jive exactly with mine, and his humor/sarcasm works quite well to balance the serious topics that he addresses.

I'm currently going through a rough patch in my long-term relationship that I'd like to find some advice through relationship/self-help books, websites, or other resources. The issues we face are nothing groundbreaking or unusual -- basically having to do with issues of communication in face of conflicting schedules, and the annoying habits that drive the other person crazy and only emerge in the long-term. Certainly Dan Savage would be able to give sage advice on these issues, but they're really quite vanilla for his column.

So I'm basically looking for the Dr. Phil for the Dan Savage audience. I'm sure that's a problematic description, but I really just mean someone who writes about common relationship issues in a way that liberal, atheist, highly-educated GGG, late-20's professionals can relate to.

posted by jk252b to human relations (13 answers total)

She doesn't write books, but I would think Carolyn Hax of Washington Post would be a vanilla life-not-sex version of Dan Savage. Sometimes I don't completely agree with her take on things (of course) but she usually has a good perspective on things. Also, check out her online chats (Tell me about it- Live)
posted by zara at 10:32 AM on March 30, 2009

Dr. Drew?
posted by themadjuggler at 10:40 AM on March 30, 2009

I was going to say Dr. Drew, too.
posted by Pax at 10:46 AM on March 30, 2009

Dan Savage is not a big fan of Dr. Drew, as far as I can tell. From "This Is Our Youth" (February 19^th, 2009):

[Dr. Drew is] an asshole-o-phobe—and a BDSM-o-phobe, a premarital-sex-o-phobe, a three-way-o-phobe, etc. Basically, when it comes to human sexuality, there's not a lot of daylight between Dr. Drew and Pope Benedict XVI.

posted by esd at 11:00 AM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have similar feelings to Dan Savage on Dr. Drew (maybe because Dan Savage told me to think that...) Dr. Drew's issues aside, he's an MD (i think) and tends to focus on the health aspects of human sexuality, sex, etc... not so much relationships in general. I suppose I'm looking for more of a therapist type. Carolyn Hax is a good idea. I'll look more into her.

Any more?
posted by jk252b at 11:21 AM on March 30, 2009

Try Cary Tennis's column, "Since You Asked" on Salon.com.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/03/30/no_impulse_control/index.html
posted by dehowell at 11:53 AM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]

Tomato Nation and The Dude Whisperer are both cutting back a bit, but they're still taking letters (and have archives you can read over). Carolyn Hax is the best advice columnist writing today, though.
posted by inkyz at 12:48 PM on March 30, 2009

Carolyn Hax is the best advice columnist writing today, though.

Of course, with her it's do as she says not as she does. At least her marriage to the guy that draws her cartoons ended amicably enough that he still draws her cartoons.

I suppose as my minister father used to say before taking his nightly swig, "you have to know sin to fight it."
posted by Pollomacho at 1:21 PM on March 30, 2009

Try Cary Tennis's column, "Since You Asked" on Salon.com

I have found that guy to be utterly useless, from a practical point of view.

Of course, with her it's do as she says not as she does.

Any additional material you could add here? I've been pretty impressed overall with the quality of her advice...
posted by Irontom at 1:30 PM on March 30, 2009

Breakup Girl, maybe?
posted by Skybly at 4:08 PM on March 30, 2009

I don't know if this is "Dan Savage" per se, but I compiled a list of the most frequently cited books on the human relations category of this site.
posted by philosophistry at 4:52 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]

Nthing cary tennis.
posted by lalochezia at 10:35 AM on March 31, 2009

I don't know if she's written a book, but I really like Dear Prudence over at Slate Magazine.
posted by Formiga at 5:09 PM on May 18, 2009