Is the cultural dislike a briefs a factor important enough to make it worth my while to switch to boxers?
September 11, 2008 6:43 PM Subscribe
I am in my late twenties and like wearing briefs, though this is frowned upon. Is the cultural dislike of briefs a factor important enough to make it worth my while to switch to boxers?
I tried wearing boxers but hated hated the loose sensation. Should I get used to the discomfort for the sake of respectability? (It seems to me that wearing boxers vs. briefs is the equivalent of having a good haircut vs. a bad one. Appearance does matter, though of course I do value comfort as well. That's why this is a dilemma for me.) P.S: I did receive negative comments about wearing briefs and many times at that.
I tried wearing boxers but hated hated the loose sensation. Should I get used to the discomfort for the sake of respectability? (It seems to me that wearing boxers vs. briefs is the equivalent of having a good haircut vs. a bad one. Appearance does matter, though of course I do value comfort as well. That's why this is a dilemma for me.) P.S: I did receive negative comments about wearing briefs and many times at that.
I'm a boxers man, myself, but I have one pair of briefs, and to be honest, my ex-girlfriend thought they were great (they were also orange, which may have helped.)
Wear what you want. It's like the old trope says, "once someone's got you down to your underwear, they probably won't change their mind because of what kind of underwear it is."
posted by Navelgazer at 6:49 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Wear what you want. It's like the old trope says, "once someone's got you down to your underwear, they probably won't change their mind because of what kind of underwear it is."
posted by Navelgazer at 6:49 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
There's a third road here-- boxer briefs.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 6:49 PM on September 11, 2008 [11 favorites]
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 6:49 PM on September 11, 2008 [11 favorites]
Yeah, why don't you wear boxer briefs?
Straight-up briefs make guys look like little kids to me, but I'm sure not all women think that way.
posted by Nattie at 6:52 PM on September 11, 2008
Straight-up briefs make guys look like little kids to me, but I'm sure not all women think that way.
posted by Nattie at 6:52 PM on September 11, 2008
As long as they aren't saggy or dingy or weird, you should be okay. Maybe stay away from white.
posted by exceptinsects at 6:52 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by exceptinsects at 6:52 PM on September 11, 2008
Response by poster: Have you tried boxer briefs?
Ultimately, it's your goddamn underwear and you can wear whatever the hell you feel like. If you are worried about the lay-days being driven off by your tightey-whities, then make sure to wear boxers or boxer-briefs on the days you think you'll be undressed.
posted by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on September 11, 2008
Ultimately, it's your goddamn underwear and you can wear whatever the hell you feel like. If you are worried about the lay-days being driven off by your tightey-whities, then make sure to wear boxers or boxer-briefs on the days you think you'll be undressed.
posted by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on September 11, 2008
There's nothing sexier than confidence. It's your package--wear what you want to wear over it.
posted by headnsouth at 6:57 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by headnsouth at 6:57 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Nthing the boxer briefs. But as a woman, I think briefs on boys is totally hot.
posted by meerkatty at 6:58 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by meerkatty at 6:58 PM on September 11, 2008
There's a "cultural dislike" toward briefs? Really?
Is this one of the times when I feel really old? Because I'm 44 and everyone I know thinks boxers are ridiculous vagina-clenchers.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:59 PM on September 11, 2008
Is this one of the times when I feel really old? Because I'm 44 and everyone I know thinks boxers are ridiculous vagina-clenchers.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:59 PM on September 11, 2008
Disapproval by whom?
(It seems to me that wearing boxers vs. briefs is the equivalent of having a good haircut vs. a bad one. Appearance does matter, though of course I do value comfort as well. That's why this is a dilemma for me.)
I don't grasp the analogy. In any event, when you get a crewcut, I don't need to see it, even if we're at the gym.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 7:01 PM on September 11, 2008
(It seems to me that wearing boxers vs. briefs is the equivalent of having a good haircut vs. a bad one. Appearance does matter, though of course I do value comfort as well. That's why this is a dilemma for me.)
I don't grasp the analogy. In any event, when you get a crewcut, I don't need to see it, even if we're at the gym.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 7:01 PM on September 11, 2008
What business is it of anyone else's what kind of underwear you have on?
posted by Class Goat at 7:03 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by Class Goat at 7:03 PM on September 11, 2008
I've always found white briefs incredibly sexy (35 yo woman). Just follow exceptinsects advice. Most of my exes wore both. My current guy goes commando (but sometimes humors me by wearing the briefs).
posted by kimdog at 7:08 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by kimdog at 7:08 PM on September 11, 2008
No, Sidhedevil, you're right - boxers are ridiculous.
To the OP: some young men are too shy to wear briefs because they have something to hide, so they wear those flooncy and concealing boxers. Walk proud in your briefs.
posted by softsantear at 7:08 PM on September 11, 2008
To the OP: some young men are too shy to wear briefs because they have something to hide, so they wear those flooncy and concealing boxers. Walk proud in your briefs.
posted by softsantear at 7:08 PM on September 11, 2008
I think boxers look silly- wear what you like!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 7:12 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by The Light Fantastic at 7:12 PM on September 11, 2008
I kinda get where anonymous is coming from. There was this thing back when I was in high school about boxers (remember, Bill Clinton was asked about his undies choice), but anon, even if someone wanted to slam you with the hip angle on your skivvies, High Nerd is so in these days. Bask in the geeky glory. Besides, they are pretty hot anyhow, if clean and not scrappy.
posted by oflinkey at 7:12 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by oflinkey at 7:12 PM on September 11, 2008
Here's the thing, if a woman (or man, whichever) is turned off by your briefs, there's a good chance that wasn't her only problem with you. I know you didn't ask about the hookup aspect specifically, but I'm assuming that's where you were going.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm in my late 20s and I always thought I was a boxers/boxer-briefs gal. I was on a date and *pretty early* on (ahem, how early is irrelevant) I found out my new guy favored the briefs. We're now engaged.
And at this point I can no longer understand why anyone would wear regular boxers -- they seem all bunchy and uncomfortable now.
posted by awegz at 7:16 PM on September 11, 2008
If it makes you feel any better, I'm in my late 20s and I always thought I was a boxers/boxer-briefs gal. I was on a date and *pretty early* on (ahem, how early is irrelevant) I found out my new guy favored the briefs. We're now engaged.
And at this point I can no longer understand why anyone would wear regular boxers -- they seem all bunchy and uncomfortable now.
posted by awegz at 7:16 PM on September 11, 2008
As a lady american I had no idea briefs were so frowned upon, but apparently this is true as it has come up a few times lately. White underpants in general are best avoided (ew, visible stains), but other than that, I don't see what is so bad about briefs. Who am I to complain when it's easier to check out a guy's junk in an underpantsed state? Just maybe don't get anything too International Male-esque (NSFW).
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 7:16 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 7:16 PM on September 11, 2008
you know, it's your genitals, you're supposed to choose the option that's more comfortable for you, not more acceptable to other people, seriously.
if, and I say if, you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and she/he really really hates to see you in briefs then consider wearing them every once in a while. but, you know, if you were asking "I really want my girlfriend to wear a thong all the time not her boring panties, I really hate them" people here would tell you you're a pig and you're supposed to wear what you feel is comfortable/appropriate
I'm also baffled at all these people who comment on your underwear "many times"-- do you drop your pants at random during the day? why so many people are exposed to your choice of underwear? if it's a locker room thing, fuck them, who cares, you're not a teenager anymore
I'm 44 and everyone I know thinks boxers are ridiculous vagina-clenchers.
I think generally the vagina-clenching (or anus-clenching) is definitely linked to body type, not to the choice of underwear per se. very skinny men just look bad in boxers, and a guy with a gut/fat ass just won't look very good in boxer briefs. briefs are difficult to pull off but if a man is in shape I think they can work well. just like with swimwear, to each body type his (or her) own
posted by matteo at 7:17 PM on September 11, 2008
if, and I say if, you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and she/he really really hates to see you in briefs then consider wearing them every once in a while. but, you know, if you were asking "I really want my girlfriend to wear a thong all the time not her boring panties, I really hate them" people here would tell you you're a pig and you're supposed to wear what you feel is comfortable/appropriate
I'm also baffled at all these people who comment on your underwear "many times"-- do you drop your pants at random during the day? why so many people are exposed to your choice of underwear? if it's a locker room thing, fuck them, who cares, you're not a teenager anymore
I'm 44 and everyone I know thinks boxers are ridiculous vagina-clenchers.
I think generally the vagina-clenching (or anus-clenching) is definitely linked to body type, not to the choice of underwear per se. very skinny men just look bad in boxers, and a guy with a gut/fat ass just won't look very good in boxer briefs. briefs are difficult to pull off but if a man is in shape I think they can work well. just like with swimwear, to each body type his (or her) own
posted by matteo at 7:17 PM on September 11, 2008
Briefs are just swell. Get thee come nice coloured ones and wear them with pride.
posted by greatgefilte at 7:21 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by greatgefilte at 7:21 PM on September 11, 2008
I've got a mix of underwear - about 80/20 briefs, and I'll often just wear whatever's at the top of the drawer. A friend of mine says he only wears briefs, and he doesn't care what people think - if a woman is seeing his underwear, it'll probably come off soon - so what's the point in worry about what it is, as long as it's clean?
posted by Calloused_Foot at 7:34 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by Calloused_Foot at 7:34 PM on September 11, 2008
P.S: I did receive negative comments about wearing briefs and many times at that.
Your problem is not briefs.
Your problem is the caliber of people you hang out with and/or date.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:35 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Your problem is not briefs.
Your problem is the caliber of people you hang out with and/or date.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:35 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
As a child, I wore briefs. In high school, I switched over to boxers because I felt more macho. I'm now in my 30s and have only very recently discovered the True Way, the Underwear One Path--boxer briefs.
With boxer briefs you get the snugness of briefs but the comfort of boxers. It's a no-brainer for me, though it helps if you have a body like Marky Mark to parade around in nothing but said boxer briefs. Seriously, though, once you go...boxer brief, you'll never go back. And, to actually address your question, briefs just look silly to me, but maybe that's because they remind me of my childhood...and diapers.
posted by zardoz at 7:37 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
With boxer briefs you get the snugness of briefs but the comfort of boxers. It's a no-brainer for me, though it helps if you have a body like Marky Mark to parade around in nothing but said boxer briefs. Seriously, though, once you go...boxer brief, you'll never go back. And, to actually address your question, briefs just look silly to me, but maybe that's because they remind me of my childhood...and diapers.
posted by zardoz at 7:37 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Wear whatever you like, but keep in mind that any woman (or man, if you're gay) who rejects you based on your underwear was a knife's edge away from rejecting you anyway.
If we're strictly talking fashion advice, though, I prefer boxer-briefs, in navy or black or gray or burgundy.
posted by joannemerriam at 7:50 PM on September 11, 2008
If we're strictly talking fashion advice, though, I prefer boxer-briefs, in navy or black or gray or burgundy.
posted by joannemerriam at 7:50 PM on September 11, 2008
There's a "cultural dislike" toward briefs? Really?
That was my reaction, too.
Should I get used to the discomfort for the sake of respectability?
Should you be uncomfortably all day, every day, because someone wants you in underwear you hate but they think looks nice? My answer would be no.
Personally, I hate boxers, and the idea that briefs are little boy clothes are just plain weird to me. I mean, does Dan Carter look like a little boy to anyone? How is making your tackle more obvious making you look underage?
If you really want to abandon briefs, as a number of people have noted, boxer-briefs are a decent third option.
posted by rodgerd at 8:03 PM on September 11, 2008
That was my reaction, too.
Should I get used to the discomfort for the sake of respectability?
Should you be uncomfortably all day, every day, because someone wants you in underwear you hate but they think looks nice? My answer would be no.
Personally, I hate boxers, and the idea that briefs are little boy clothes are just plain weird to me. I mean, does Dan Carter look like a little boy to anyone? How is making your tackle more obvious making you look underage?
If you really want to abandon briefs, as a number of people have noted, boxer-briefs are a decent third option.
posted by rodgerd at 8:03 PM on September 11, 2008
I'm glad I caught this question, since I'm sort of the perfect person to answer it. I'm your worst case scenario. I'm a first-born girl with two younger brothers. My mom always bought them tighty-whitey y-front Hanes-brand briefs. I also saw classmates change out of their track-marked y-fronts into something else. That shit is like kryptonite to me now. White, y-front briefs are eternal dealbreakers. They scream "gross little brother"
Unless they have some sort of fetish, white, y-front briefs are the ultimate deal-breaker. Boxer briefs are your friend. All the support, none of the creepiness.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 8:11 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Unless they have some sort of fetish, white, y-front briefs are the ultimate deal-breaker. Boxer briefs are your friend. All the support, none of the creepiness.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 8:11 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Is the cultural dislike of briefs a factor important enough to make it worth my while to switch to boxers?
You can't live your life by what others want and be happy. Wear your briefs and move on to important things.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:13 PM on September 11, 2008
You can't live your life by what others want and be happy. Wear your briefs and move on to important things.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:13 PM on September 11, 2008
I am female, and I think the whole boxers thing is ridiculously played out.
Saggy balls by 40, man, that's all I gotta say.
posted by shownomercy at 8:37 PM on September 11, 2008
Saggy balls by 40, man, that's all I gotta say.
posted by shownomercy at 8:37 PM on September 11, 2008
I prefer boxers or boxer briefs. My husband likes tightie whities. I was so hoping I could send this link to him to convince him that briefs are lame :) But, really, it was never a dealbreaker for me, and even though I may tease him about it once in a while...he can wear whatever he wants and I still love him.
posted by hazel at 8:38 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by hazel at 8:38 PM on September 11, 2008
Boxer briefs - the leg part bunches and rolls up, and looks ridiculous. Boxers - my penis falls down the side of my leg and makes me look like an icky 70's porn star.
So it's briefs for me. I never understood how men could wear boxers. I mean, my junk totally falls down my leg, and gets all caught up. terrible.
posted by bradth27 at 8:45 PM on September 11, 2008
So it's briefs for me. I never understood how men could wear boxers. I mean, my junk totally falls down my leg, and gets all caught up. terrible.
posted by bradth27 at 8:45 PM on September 11, 2008
Is the cultural dislike of briefs a factor important enough to make it worth my while to switch to boxers?
No. If briefs are really "culturally disliked", why would the stores still sell them?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:18 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
No. If briefs are really "culturally disliked", why would the stores still sell them?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:18 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
My husband apologetically told me about his preference for briefs back in the days when we were dating, and I kind of went "Huh?" I was sold on him then anyway, so I didn't care a bit. He said that as a runner he can't be dangling around in boxers, and I think that's a fair point. He's a fit guy and would look good in anything.
posted by lottie at 10:38 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by lottie at 10:38 PM on September 11, 2008
Briefs are good. I wear them and I'm not even a dude. Just go for some colour to liven things up.
posted by sgrass at 10:42 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by sgrass at 10:42 PM on September 11, 2008
I'm a mid-30s gay dude and I think briefs rock. Ask yourself - if they were really so universally hated, why would stores stock so many styles, colours & designs? For me, boxers are very unsexy in comparison, although once things get down to that level it's really not about the underpants.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 11:33 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by sevenyearlurk at 11:33 PM on September 11, 2008
IMHO, underwear is primarily for support, to keep things from dangling uncomfortably. Boxers don't achieve this, I've tried. I wore briefs until about the end of high school, when I started biking long distances, and the briefs edges started to chafe my crotch (my bike shorts without briefs let things dangle uncomfortably as well, or in uncomfortable positions). I switched to boxer briefs, no going back, they're much more comfortable, it's been about 15 years and have no complaints about them.
posted by hungrysquirrels at 2:27 AM on September 12, 2008
posted by hungrysquirrels at 2:27 AM on September 12, 2008
Over the years I've always found briefs and boxers (and even boxer-briefs) to be horribly uncomfortable. They are either restrictive in the wrong areas.. or to loose/saggy/unsupportive in other areas. Years ago I switched to Calvin Klein's "Sport-Briefs" and couldnt be happier. All the support I need, but still let me be very active with no chafing anywhere.
I tend to view underwear the same as socks. Choose wisely and pay good money for a quality product and you'll be happy.
posted by jmnugent at 3:13 AM on September 12, 2008
I tend to view underwear the same as socks. Choose wisely and pay good money for a quality product and you'll be happy.
posted by jmnugent at 3:13 AM on September 12, 2008
When I think boxers I always think of big baggy things with silly patterns on - definitely not hot.
Boxer briefs on the other hand are really hot but briefs aren't a deal breaker. My boyfriend wears mostly briefs and honestly I've really not given it a second thought - its not like I walk around in sexy lingerie all day either. As long as they're not tighty whities its no problem.
posted by missmagenta at 4:07 AM on September 12, 2008
Boxer briefs on the other hand are really hot but briefs aren't a deal breaker. My boyfriend wears mostly briefs and honestly I've really not given it a second thought - its not like I walk around in sexy lingerie all day either. As long as they're not tighty whities its no problem.
posted by missmagenta at 4:07 AM on September 12, 2008
I bought my husband silk briefs.
posted by Hildegarde at 4:35 AM on September 12, 2008
posted by Hildegarde at 4:35 AM on September 12, 2008
Boxer briefs. They don't look as silly as briefs (which, in my opinion, look a bit like "man panties"), but will remain snug like you like 'em.
Also, sexy as hell.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:51 AM on September 12, 2008
Also, sexy as hell.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:51 AM on September 12, 2008
Boxer shorts and loose pants can boost sperm count. If that is not an issue for you, then wear what you want. I personally prefer my guy in boxers, but I really don't care all that much.
posted by gudrun at 5:10 AM on September 12, 2008
posted by gudrun at 5:10 AM on September 12, 2008
Like everyone else stated go boxer briefs thats what I wear and its the best of both.
posted by majortom1981 at 5:19 AM on September 12, 2008
posted by majortom1981 at 5:19 AM on September 12, 2008
Who is your peer group?
I think there are very distinct preferences in different places adn social /demographical groups.
it used to seem that Boxers were de riguer for both Investmetn Bankers and Skateboarders in the past... (thinign back to cultural icons)..
or actually that conservative uptight fellows woudl always wear Boxers. Breifs being more 'carefree' and relaxed option. - in the 80s.
I'm curious what peer group you are part of that would express this aversion towards breifs.
posted by mary8nne at 5:45 AM on September 12, 2008
I think there are very distinct preferences in different places adn social /demographical groups.
it used to seem that Boxers were de riguer for both Investmetn Bankers and Skateboarders in the past... (thinign back to cultural icons)..
or actually that conservative uptight fellows woudl always wear Boxers. Breifs being more 'carefree' and relaxed option. - in the 80s.
I'm curious what peer group you are part of that would express this aversion towards breifs.
posted by mary8nne at 5:45 AM on September 12, 2008
Personally, I have a slight aversion to seeing romantic partners in briefs because, you know, my dad wears briefs. Maybe it's a generational thing?
However, if they were quality briefs (in not-white) and you looked good in them, I'm sure that I would quickly overcome the 'eaugghhh' factor. Wear what is comfortable for you.
posted by amicamentis at 5:58 AM on September 12, 2008
However, if they were quality briefs (in not-white) and you looked good in them, I'm sure that I would quickly overcome the 'eaugghhh' factor. Wear what is comfortable for you.
posted by amicamentis at 5:58 AM on September 12, 2008
Look at it this way - do you want to be uncomfortable all day, every day, in exchange for looking ever so slightly cooler during that small bit of your week when anyone else sees you in your underwear? Wear what your comfortable in - as everyone else has said, once down to your pants, its unlikely the other party will care!
posted by prentiz at 6:07 AM on September 12, 2008
posted by prentiz at 6:07 AM on September 12, 2008
Boxer briefs just say to me: I am too self conscious to wear awesome colored briefs. And I am a girl in your dating cohort.
posted by dame at 6:13 AM on September 12, 2008
posted by dame at 6:13 AM on September 12, 2008
You have a preference in clothing, based on comfort. This clothing is observable only in intimate or private situations. Anybody who gives you a hard time is behaving badly.
posted by theora55 at 6:49 AM on September 12, 2008
posted by theora55 at 6:49 AM on September 12, 2008
i think briefs have a "cultural negative" because briefs are what "little boys" wear. right? i don't personally feel negatively towards briefs.
i mean, if they give you the support and comfort you need, who cares?
posted by misanthropicsarah at 7:00 AM on September 12, 2008
i mean, if they give you the support and comfort you need, who cares?
posted by misanthropicsarah at 7:00 AM on September 12, 2008
Commando!
Now, you are a grown man, wear whatever the hell makes you comfortable and happy. If you have a hot date, maybe break out the fancy briefs, but it shouldn't be fashion guided decision.
posted by Ponderance at 7:49 AM on September 12, 2008
Now, you are a grown man, wear whatever the hell makes you comfortable and happy. If you have a hot date, maybe break out the fancy briefs, but it shouldn't be fashion guided decision.
posted by Ponderance at 7:49 AM on September 12, 2008
Another vote from a woman who likes men: briefs are sexy. I like dark colors best, though a hot guy in a pair of tighty whities can do it for me too, especially when they're wet and you can see the package through the ..... OK, I'll stop here.
posted by desjardins at 12:56 PM on September 12, 2008
posted by desjardins at 12:56 PM on September 12, 2008
With the state of American "culture" today, I wouldn't be too bunged up about its opinion. I've worn briefs (colored, patterned ones - no "tightie-whities" for me, than you very much) since I was a child, and people are always trying to take them away from me... (Oh - wait - channeling Ren Hoek there for a second.) I'm middle-aged now, and still wear them (new ones - not the ones I wore as a child...) and find boxers remind me of "The Honeymooners" more than anything else. Besides, think of the children! Do you really want your... um... satchel... hanging halfway down to your socks when you're playing shuffleboard at the retirement home? I like my bikini/low-rise briefs. They're comfy, look nice, and gosh darn it, people like me! ;-)
posted by Death by Ugabooga at 1:16 PM on September 12, 2008
posted by Death by Ugabooga at 1:16 PM on September 12, 2008
Nonwhite boxer briefs are the sexiest, in my opinion. But wear whatever the heck you want, of course!
posted by ifjuly at 5:23 PM on September 12, 2008
posted by ifjuly at 5:23 PM on September 12, 2008
amicamentis: this article supports the generational hypothesis.
I'm normally a style-over-comfort kind of girl, but not when it comes to underwear. Wear whatever is most comfortable for you. Though, if it's briefs, staying away from white may decrease the "cultural dislike". The phrase "tightey-whities" is always derisive.
posted by timepiece at 6:30 PM on September 12, 2008
I'm normally a style-over-comfort kind of girl, but not when it comes to underwear. Wear whatever is most comfortable for you. Though, if it's briefs, staying away from white may decrease the "cultural dislike". The phrase "tightey-whities" is always derisive.
posted by timepiece at 6:30 PM on September 12, 2008
Boxers tend to bunch in the rear and create the illusion of carrying a load in one's pants. It's not a desirable look, trust me.
posted by wsg at 11:11 PM on September 12, 2008
posted by wsg at 11:11 PM on September 12, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
Why are so many people seeing you in your underwear?!
posted by rokusan at 6:49 PM on September 11, 2008 [4 favorites]