Miscarriage Advice and Support

July 9, 2004 9:24 AM

Miscarriage advice.

I need websites and links on what to do if someone is going through a miscarriage , what to look out for , danger signs etc.

thanks in advance.

posted by sgt.serenity to Health & Fitness (9 answers total)

this page on allaboutmoms can outline some danger signs but, of course, the woman involved should be seeing a doctor at the first sign of trouble if at all possible.

The "for men" section on miscarriage support has good information on how to be supportive, explains what the woman is or may be going through, and gives places to go for more information. Good advice even if the woman involved is not your partner, in case it becomes relevant.
posted by jessamyn at 10:30 AM on July 9, 2004

WebMD has a topic overview and a symptoms sheet. It's a more medical approach than what jessamyn posted above. In general, Baby Center has some good information, including information about miscarriage.

When in doubt, call the doctor and get seen right away. Sometimes, bleeding means nothing. Let the doctor be the one to make the diagnosis.
posted by onhazier at 10:36 AM on July 9, 2004

From jessamyn's first link: "As many as 30 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, half of them before the woman even realizes she is pregnant. Fortunately, most women who miscarry, even more than once, can become pregnant again and give birth to a healthy baby."

That's useful and important stuff to remember; it's easy to blame oneself for a miscarriage and get wrapped up in a lot of depression, but you need to remember it's really a fairly normal thing to have happen.
posted by nickmark at 10:47 AM on July 9, 2004

It's more than "fairly normal." In fact, I'll wager it was normal a century ago; that it's down to 30% is likely due to improvements in diet and obstetrics.

Judging by some of the premie and damaged babies being saved by extraordinary measures these days, this decline in miscarriage may not be a wonderful thing.

Anyway, IMO it is vital to not blame oneself or blame the woman. If there was a miscarriage, it was very likely for the best: we're lucky our human body naturally deals with genetic problems so early. Magic of life & all that, but a very, very delicate process that isn't all that reliable...
posted by five fresh fish at 11:45 AM on July 9, 2004

Hear, hear FFF. If a woman has a miscarriage, it's because something is wrong with the fetus and it's the body's way of saying, "un-huh...this isn't right." If it keeps happening though, she should have her uterus looked at. Misshapen utereses can cause miscarriages of perfectly healthy fetuses (happened to my mom and a friend. My mom had surgery, my friend adopted.)

Have the woman talk to other women friends, I'm sure if it didn't happen to them, they know someone they can get her in touch with.
posted by aacheson at 12:13 PM on July 9, 2004

no advice, just wishing you good luck.
posted by theora55 at 1:08 PM on July 9, 2004

Whoa...as someone who's been through more than one very scary moment in a pregnancy (with my wife, of course), and now has two healthy kids, I really need to point out the sad fact that miscarriages are not always just the body's way of sorting out unhealthy fetuses. There are a lot of things that can go wrong with a pregnancy, and many of them have nothing to do with the viability or long-term health of the baby. I also have several friends who had premature babies, some by more than two months, and they've got no ill effects, either--healthy, smart kids, doing well in school, play sports, all the rest.

I don't say this to be defensive, but even after close calls, I found it was really important not to try and rationalize what happened (or almost happened) after the fact. I appreciate folks who are pointing out that it really does happen very often, and sure, dramatically malformed fetuses are often miscarried, but when you actually go through it, to you, you've lost a baby. Having someone pat you on the back and say, "Well, there was probably something wrong with it" is really the last thing you want to hear.
posted by LairBob at 1:09 PM on July 9, 2004

I would like to mention that spotting in early pregnancy is not that uncommon. It doesn't always lead to miscarriage. I had spotting with two of my pregnancies, and with the first one in particular it was a scary time.
posted by konolia at 4:12 PM on July 9, 2004

There's an anecdote I heard when my ex-wife was having trouble with her first pregnancy that went something along the lines of "approximately 100% of sexually active women will have at least one miscarriage." it happens, and it will happen, but because of this, know that you're not alone.
posted by taumeson at 8:19 PM on July 9, 2004