Male Pattern Baldness
July 2, 2004 5:18 PM   Subscribe

Male pattern balding. I've arrived at the point where I will need to either do something to counteract it, learn to accept it, or perhaps, a little of both. Any suggestions for products/states of mind/haircuts with dignity that have worked for you?
posted by 4easypayments to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (18 answers total)
Shave it. Buzzcut. You'll like the low maintenance and such. Chicks dig it too.
posted by keswick at 5:25 PM on July 2, 2004

Gotta say, I'm not losing much of my hair, although I expect it is receding a little, but the close-shorn thing is so blissful, I can't imagine why people put up with long hair. One wonman told me it takes half an hour to dry her (admittedly gorgeous) hair. That means that each year, she spends over a week merely drying her hair. That is just insane to me.

I've been told I look younger with more hair, which might appeal to me in, say, twenty years, but by then my hair will be gray enough that it won't fool anyone.
posted by kindall at 5:29 PM on July 2, 2004

This is my cure for male pattern baldness
posted by Tenuki at 5:32 PM on July 2, 2004

Keep it as short as possible, which will minimize the difference between all that acreage of skin and your hair. Learn to accept that your hair will recede, because there is not a damn thing you can do about it, as a rule.
posted by dg at 5:35 PM on July 2, 2004

I bought a pair of barber clippers and a few cutting guards (various sizes.) It takes me about 10 minutes to buzz my head every couple of weeks. Quick, painless, and I don't own a brush or comb anymore.
posted by busboy789 at 6:21 PM on July 2, 2004

Amen to keeping it short (I'll be bald on top in six years), and I'll add: this means regular haircuts. Every two weeks is about right. Add them to the calendar, and make them a must-do. Because when you're balding, if you let it go, people think you're in denial, besides that it just looks *bad.* I'd rather be bald than even have one person think I'm kidding myself about losing my manhood one strand at a time.

I like to give a speech when I get my haircut at a new place (although I think I'm now set on the young Uzbeki fellow who cuts my hair). It goes, "I know I am going bald. This is not a problem for me. Please do not attempt to hide the balding. Just cut my hair normally. Do not leave it longer on top to give the appearance of fullness. Thank you."

Problem is, a couple of months ago the Polish woman who cut my hair didn't understand a lick of English. I came out of there looking like Slobo Milosevic. That's what I get: I went to that salon in hopes of getting the extraordinarily beautiful stylist again, but she was out, so I said what the hell, and ended up with a "stylist" whose face was squinched up like and had a stance like she usually spent her days with her hands on a plow and with her eyes on a horse's ass.
posted by Mo Nickels at 6:32 PM on July 2, 2004

*nervously hoists stein* Hear, hear!
posted by squirrel at 7:27 PM on July 2, 2004

unfortunately, shaving isn't for everyone. I think my husband would look horrible with a shaved head.

so since that wasn't an option, he started taking propecia in his mid-late twenties and it helped slow it down a lot. (of course, you need to take it before it all falls out) but would recommend it if you want to at least keep the status quo. (he's since stopped, now that we're over 30, and it hasn't all fallen out all at once or anything, in case anyone is wondering).

as for hair cut, I agree to keep it short. my husband played guitar in high school, in the 80's, so of course he had long hair. it was a part of who he was in a way. so when it came time to cut it short, he was really nervous that short hair would make the thinning more pronounced. it did the opposite. he has fine thin hair on top and it looks really good considering. it's probably about 1.5 inches on the very top when he gets it cut -- long enough to cover just enough. looking back, he agrees that long hair looked worse.
posted by evening at 7:34 PM on July 2, 2004

Buy a hat; buy several.

A. Hides the bald spot.
B. Prevents the bald spot from sunburning.
posted by mischief at 7:48 PM on July 2, 2004

I shaved my head completely a few weeks ago, in preparation for a midlife crisis. I was really disappointed, because my head didn't feel any different--rubbing my hands over my head felt almost the same as when I had a crewcut. And the wind blowing over it didn't feel much different either. I just had to share that. If I was going bald I'd go for the inverted mohawk look.

Not really.

I saw Ron Howard wearing a hat on David Letterman. Dude, give it up.
posted by mecran01 at 9:14 PM on July 2, 2004 [1 favorite]

Mo, before I started shaving mine off I'd always have to give the same speech women hairdressers especially seemed to have a hard time believing that I actually wanted my hair as short on top as I'd asked.
posted by Tenuki at 12:44 AM on July 3, 2004

Grow the hair at the side of your head, and carefully comb it over the bald spot. Nobody will ever know you're going bald.
posted by seanyboy at 1:28 AM on July 3, 2004 [1 favorite]

Remember that a big ol' chunk of beauty (or handsomeness, if you will) is attitude. My husband and his friend at work are both early thirtysomethings facing hair loss. His pal completely shaves his head, and perhaps his nonchalance (plus a remarkable resemblance to the lead singer of Smashing Pumpkins) helps to explain his recent marriage to an utter babe.

By contrast, my husband just keeps his hair very short (clippers) and ignores the inevitable. He's still gorgeous; maybe when it all goes I'll have to beat away 15% fewer women per year. Fine by me!

Besides, we struck a deal about a year back that he wouldn't care about his hair, and in exchange, I wouldn't become one of those Botoxian eternal-twilight harpies. I love him even more for his realistic approach to the fact that like everything else alive, we're getting older. What woman wouldn't appreciate that?

So: shave it and be cool with it, or find some woman who will love you to distraction regardless of your hair. There are probably more of the latter out there than you think.
posted by clever sheep at 8:43 AM on July 3, 2004

I've found the "#4 all over" haircut works a lot better than most others. It avoids the inadvertant combover which only looks good directly facing the mirror.
posted by smackfu at 11:21 AM on July 3, 2004

I've gone progressively from wispy hairs on top to relatively short to buzzcut to shaved. Since I started shaving my head completely smooth, people think I'm 5-10 years younger. I completely stopped thinking about my hair falling out now that I don't have any. I wish I had done it ages ago.

As for state of mind, remember that the obsession with hair is actually a very American thing. Find yourself a Mediterranean woman -- lots of them think that bald men are attractive.
posted by fuzz at 11:53 AM on July 3, 2004

I'm married now, but when I was dating, bald was no big deal, unless he had a combover. Combover=yuck.
posted by Shoeburyness at 12:50 PM on July 3, 2004

Baldness isn't as bad as most make it out to be. I'm on my way there and have just accepted it.
posted by MrAnonymous at 10:08 PM on July 3, 2004

Thanks everybody! You each will receive a lock of my hair at the next MeFi meetup.
posted by 4easypayments at 1:24 PM on July 4, 2004

« Older Help me become a more effective beader   |   How Much Money Do I Need to Move to Chicago? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.