I want to find an old friend

December 13, 2007 11:48 AM

How can I figure out someone's maiden name?

I lost touch with a friend I had in college many moons ago. She was married when I met her, and I heard through the grapevine that she and her ex split acrimoniously a few years back. I would like to get in touch with her, and I have had reasonable success with my google fu in the past to find long lost friends. The problem with this one, though, is that she evidently no longer uses her previous married name, and I never knew her maiden name! I have found sites that will track people's married name, but not the reverse. How do I figure out my friend's maiden name, so I can email the girl? Please assume that we no longer have any mutual friends in common. There is no one to ask what happened to her.
Furthermore, this is a mild interest, I am not SO gungho on finding her that I am willing to spend any money in the process. I am simply curious to find out what happened with her, and would like to catch up. If I fail, so be it. I'm not going to lose any money over it.

posted by msali to Computers & Internet (10 answers total)

You might try your college's alumni (alumnae?) association if she might be a member. Also try looking at old issues of any alumni materials that publish class notes or something similar to see if her name pops up. This has a better shot if you went to a small school; my wife has been active in her alumnae association and has had to track long lost classmates down to tell them about reunions and so forth, although she has had more info to go on. If you know what field she works in that can also be a source of leads; I recently discovered a classmate from college 20 years ago became a pediatric cardiologist when I saw his name on a paper I had to look up. Also a long shot but classmates.com does have a college section and a limited membership is free.
posted by TedW at 11:58 AM on December 13, 2007

Do you know where she was married? Marriage certificates are a matter of public record IIRC. For example.
posted by desjardins at 12:06 PM on December 13, 2007

If you know where she was married, some counties will allow you to search the marriage license database.
posted by chiababe at 12:06 PM on December 13, 2007

Did you already check classmates.com? I found quite a few people on there a few years ago, actually.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:12 PM on December 13, 2007

Is there a chance she might be on Facebook? If you know of someone that knows her (even if you don't personally know them) you can browse their friends list and find her.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:24 PM on December 13, 2007

Have you tried other search engines? I recently found someone through one of the other SEs thanks to a page that wasn't coming on up Google.
posted by Ulleskelf at 12:30 PM on December 13, 2007

Another vote for Classmates.com. This is one of the few useful things about the site, and you don't have to be a member to access the info.
posted by kimdog at 12:40 PM on December 13, 2007

If you know her husband's first name (and if it's not too common), you can most likely find their marriage record on ancestry.com. Even if it is a common name, you can narrow the search to a specific state. Her maiden name will be listed in the marriage record.

It'll take some detective work, but it's totally possible. Using that website, I tracked down the family* of a girl who died in the 50s, and all I had was her first and last name.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:12 PM on December 13, 2007

Response by poster: Thanks for all your help, everyone. I just got back to the thread, and I am going to try some of these options. I'm afraid an alumni association won't help much, since she didn't go to college with me, her husband was in grad school (we were in different programs), and she didn't get a degree. I don't know where she and her husband got married, and I don't know where either of them were from, just to make things worse. I appreciate all of your suggestions, whether I find my friend or not, I thank you all. Askmefi is awesome.
posted by msali at 1:44 PM on December 13, 2007

mudpuppie, thanks for pointing to ancestry.com. You input the husband's name, and it gives you the wife's maiden name. Totally awesome.
posted by exphysicist345 at 6:57 PM on December 14, 2007