Why don't guys get fancy underwear?

December 6, 2006 6:23 AM

Why don't guys get fancy underwear?
posted by Coolcan2 to Society & Culture (35 answers total)

Define fancy.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:25 AM on December 6, 2006

Because guys care more about function than form.
posted by vanoakenfold at 6:35 AM on December 6, 2006

Get this man an International Male catalog. And don't say I didn't warn you.
posted by mikeh at 6:35 AM on December 6, 2006

Sure they do.
(Mildly NSFW)
posted by theantikitty at 6:36 AM on December 6, 2006

What planet are you living on? Some names you'll want to Google are: Ginch Gonch, AussieBum, 2xist. Even CK has some damn fine undies (I cannot stress enough how comfortable the microfibre trunks are).
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:38 AM on December 6, 2006

Response by poster: lmao. I wish I hadn't asked. -.-
posted by Coolcan2 at 6:39 AM on December 6, 2006

I think many guys have the thought process that fancy underwear means they are gay.
posted by JJ86 at 6:41 AM on December 6, 2006

Best answer: Although you can find anything on the internet, fancy underwear is probably more commonly worn by women than men because, like makeup and sparkly jewelry, it's a socially affected expression of female identity.
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:46 AM on December 6, 2006

Wow. theantikitty's links may be only mildly NSFW, but they are INCREDIBLY gay.

Ordinary silk boxers are acceptable for straight guys, though.

I think it may be that men's bodies are aesthetically pleasing in a different way w/ more emphasis on health and strength and less on private parts.
posted by dagnyscott at 7:16 AM on December 6, 2006

Manties, of course.

Much like Xmas presents, men are less likely than women to invest much effort in wrapping their packages; this is considered feminine behavior. It's okay in this society for a woman to adopt some masculine behaviors, but it's not okay for a man to adopt feminine behaviors, since feminine behaviors in a man = gay.
posted by Melinika at 7:21 AM on December 6, 2006

Under Armor. I've never found more comfortable shorts.
posted by allkindsoftime at 7:22 AM on December 6, 2006

it's a socially affected expression of female identity.

That's a nice way to put it.

Yes, Average Joe thinks funny underwear on a guy is kinda girly and gay, or at least a little iffy. Average Joe definitely is going to be a bit nervous about wearing anything on his ass that poses even the slightest risk (both suspenders break while he's got a pocketful of change for the pool table?) of making the people of Flyoverville think he's not entirely average/regular/ungirl/ungay in terms of sexual orientation and appetites. And it's nothing to be taken lightly: that sort of thing could get him forever mocked (scorned, worse) by friend and foe throughout town. Being caught in the wrong underwear (not the Wrong Trousers) could force a guy to leave town and never come back.
posted by pracowity at 7:29 AM on December 6, 2006

Fancy undies are not comfortable.

And how many times have you heard of men wearing womens underwear? Lots, I am sure...
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 7:38 AM on December 6, 2006

WHAT?!? They most certainly do have such things. Most men don't LIKE them, is all.
Silk boxers are a form of fancy underwear for men that many mainstream-type-guys can enjoy.
In the TMI category, my father is now a fan of silk boxers, even to the point where he attends to their particular washing instructions to be sure they last.
posted by Sprout the Vulgarian at 7:40 AM on December 6, 2006

Fancy undies are not comfortable.

As a gay man, I have to agree. I really feel for women who are pressured into wearing thongs — walking around with a constant wedgie is probably a circle of hell Dante was too scared to write about.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:47 AM on December 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Maybe some Average Joes think worry about what people in flyover states might think if they saw his undies. Me, I just don't see the fucking point of them. Underwear is functional stuff that keeps my ass and danglies from chafing in my pants, not articles of display. Why would I care what they look like? Why on earth would I want fancier ones that I might expect to bes less functional, or at most do the same job for higher price?

But then I'd probably wear nothing but jeans, plain colored t-shirts, and sneakers if I could get away with it.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:54 AM on December 6, 2006

I really feel for women who are pressured into wearing thongs — walking around with a constant wedgie is probably a circle of hell Dante was too scared to write about.

I had a girlfriend back in the day who wore nothing but thongs. I asked her why, and her exact words were "Granny panties aside, I end up with a wedgie no matter WHAT panties I wear. At least with a thong, it's only a small bit of fabric crammed up there" :)
posted by antifuse at 7:57 AM on December 6, 2006

My former boss at the Mexican restaurant that gave me my first job once took the opportunity, apropos nothing, to explain the benefit of sable briefs to me. Apparently, the fur goes on the inside and they're supposed to be the most amazing underwear experience available.

I'd imagine they'd be hot, stinky and impossible to clean, but as a 17-year-old I really just wanted to get back to washing the dishes and not hear any more about how much coked-out strippers loved his sable drawers.
posted by klangklangston at 8:08 AM on December 6, 2006

People still wear underwear? I still can't grasp the concept, maybe it's all my washing of body and clothes, but they seem kinda pointless.
posted by paxton at 8:14 AM on December 6, 2006

maybe it's all my washing of body and clothes

Exactly. Wearing underwear means you don't have to wash your trousers nearly as often, which is ultimately both more economical and more ecological.
posted by ClarissaWAM at 8:27 AM on December 6, 2006

Exactly. Wearing underwear means you don't have to wash your trousers nearly as often, which is ultimately both more economical and more ecological.

Also, the inside of my boxers is generally less chafing than the inside of my jeans (not to mention the zipper. Ouchie!)
posted by antifuse at 8:45 AM on December 6, 2006

but it's not okay for a man to adopt feminine behaviors, since feminine behaviors in a man = gay.

Unless you're in a rock band, or perhaps the former president of the United States, etc. Then fancy underwear is expected. It's situational--absurd in the extreme, but situational. And some women like fancy underwear on their men (I was given some for a Christmas gift once, but wouldn't buy them myself, for the reasons given about expense vs. function).
posted by raysmj at 8:54 AM on December 6, 2006

Wearing underwear means you don't have to wash your trousers nearly as often, which is ultimately both more economical and more ecological.

So washing underoos is less of a burden on my wallet and the planet than washing pants? I did not realize my washing machine knew the difference. Or is this assuming you only own one pair of pants and multiple pairs of underwear?

Also, the inside of my boxers is generally less chafing than the inside of my jeans

I've heard this before and don't seem to encounter the problem.

Either way, I'm off topic and for that I apologize.
posted by paxton at 8:57 AM on December 6, 2006

paxton writes "So washing underoos is less of a burden on my wallet and the planet than washing pants? I did not realize my washing machine knew the difference. Or is this assuming you only own one pair of pants and multiple pairs of underwear?"

Compare the number of tighty-whiteys you can wash at one time to the number of pairs of jeans. It's at least 5:1. I change my underwear everyday, twice if I shower before going out. Pants get washed after every 2nd or 3rd wearing.
posted by Mitheral at 9:07 AM on December 6, 2006

underwear? no way, I need the space.

no, seriously.
girls in great underwear look sexy. guys in great underwear look goofy.

leopard string tangas.
posted by krautland at 9:10 AM on December 6, 2006

I imagine the reason most straight men don't wear fancy underwear is the same reason most straight women don't really dig porn like men or attend strip clubs in the numbers that men do. Fancy underwear on a woman is for the benefit of the man. Fancy underwear on a man is for the benefit of the woman, or would be, but in my experience they just don't dig it like men do. Not that some women don't, but it's not common enough that there are stores in every mall selling sexy underwear for men. As others have pointed out, it's way more common with gay men, where another man is the intended audience.
posted by kindall at 9:17 AM on December 6, 2006

Because we don't have to.
posted by electroboy at 9:24 AM on December 6, 2006

So washing underoos is less of a burden on my wallet and the planet than washing pants?

Mitheral has already replied, but I can't believe you're even asking that question. *shakes head*

[irealizethisisofftopic. apologies]
posted by ClarissaWAM at 9:26 AM on December 6, 2006

It's only straight guys who don't get fancy underwear.
posted by Nelson at 9:36 AM on December 6, 2006

People have already highlighted the gay/het fancy-undies divide so I'll just add: there's no popular heterosexual male identity that allows for the exuberant display of one's junk. Straight men are supposed to care how they look, but emphasizing yr wang (or butt) isn't part of the equation. I think it's a damn shame, frankly, and speaks to a fundamental discomfort with our bodies.
posted by wemayfreeze at 11:07 AM on December 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Personally, I gave up tighty whities for boxers in any color or pattern other than white a long time ago. But then again, I don't give a shit about what other guys think about my underwear. Unless I'm in bed with them, and then I'll just take their opinion as advice to think about.

From the quantity of rack-space given to choices other than white briefs at the places I do my underwear shoping, it seems that there is a fairly large market out there.

But I suppose it gets back to, "define fancy."
posted by KirkJobSluder at 11:13 AM on December 6, 2006

Because the female partners don't request it. If you're a single guy, or in a relationship where fancy undies are not a priority for your partner, you go with what's comfortable. I have dated a few women who were into sexy or fancy underwear and I was happy to wear them. Good for the goose, etc. etc. (Fancy to her was jockstraps, definitely masculine)
posted by vito90 at 11:54 AM on December 6, 2006

I wouldn't exactly describe them as fancy, but American Apparel's brightly colored men's briefs are pretty popular.
posted by lunalaguna at 6:30 PM on December 6, 2006

Even Target now has rather "fancy" microfiber briefs for men.

By the way, my younger sister claims that the American Apparel men's briefs are the most comfortable underwear she's ever worn.
posted by nekton at 7:52 PM on December 6, 2006

as a man i look at clothes as purely functional and somewhat annoying. i want them to be comfortable, to last as long as possible, and to be mostly non-descript without being unflattering. and they are annoying because on the continuum of things i'd like to spend money on, clothes are down at the very bottom next to dental visits and non-robotic vacuum cleaners. i suspect the majority of males look at clothes this way, unless perhaps they are going on a date.

whereas the majority of women seem to view clothes in exactly the opposite fashion.

when it comes to undergarments, the aesthetics matter even less, and the function/comfort even more. thus, to me, 'fancy underwear' = completely pointless, unless there's some overriding comfort benefit.
posted by jjsonp at 7:37 AM on December 7, 2006