Details on happy, monogamous male gay couples?

August 22, 2006 11:27 AM

Does anyone know of articles or books documenting the lives of happy, monogamous male gay couples and/or statistics on what % of the male gay population resides in relationships of that type?

As far as details, I'm looking for background info on those couples' individual lives, how they met, how long they've been together, the kinds of difficulties they've faced, etc.

Thanks!

posted by shivohum to Human Relations (8 answers total)

I asked a friend who has read a number of gay history books, but he recommended finding a major library that would have back issues of The Advocate, since they seem to be the more politically conscious national gay publication.

They do seem to at least have couple articles that might fit what you're looking for.
posted by Zephyrial at 11:44 AM on August 22, 2006

I don't know of any books, but I'll give you my own story for an article!

Me and my partner are a happy, monogamous coulple. I'm proud to say we've never had a heterosexual in our entire family - that's a political joke - and we've been together for over 4 years.

We met while in the military (gasp!).
We met online (double-gasp!!).
As mentioned above, we've been together 4+ years.
The only difficulties we've faced so far (which is now not an issue since we're out of the military) was how to stay together when one of us was up for rotation to a different duty station on the oppostie coast.

We are friends with another gay male couple, in their sixties, who have been together for over 30 years. My best friend and his partner have been together for over 5 years.

Of my old Navy squadron buddies (straight), 4 of them are on their second marriages since my partner and I met.
posted by matty at 11:53 AM on August 22, 2006

check out dan savage's books
posted by lester at 12:03 PM on August 22, 2006

I've been with my partner for over three years, although we tend to think of ourselves as less a "couple" and more of a "confederation".
posted by hermitosis at 12:08 PM on August 22, 2006

We had our second anniversary two months ago. Moved in together in July, once the financial part clicked together. We were introduced to each other online, but met face-to-face at a local coffee shop. Some stress may be introduced if he takes a programming job in Seattle, but we're talking about it.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:54 PM on August 22, 2006

John Gottman's research with gay men and lesbians suggests that gay relationships are at least as long-lived as straight ones, and identifies healthier communication patterns found in gay relationships.
posted by ottereroticist at 1:32 PM on August 22, 2006

Not exactly what you're looking for, but you might try Fenton Johnson's "Geography of the Heart."
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:03 PM on August 22, 2006

There are a number of gay oral history projects that might be useful if descriptions that were made a few years ago are not a problem for you.
e.g.
Brighton Ourstory
Hall-Carpenter Archives
posted by Busy Old Fool at 11:36 PM on August 26, 2006