Help me get out, meet people, and experience life!

July 9, 2006 10:38 PM

Help me get out, meet people, and experience life! I don't know how to relax enough to have fun when meeting new people or trying something new.

After quite a bit of soul-searching, I've realized that I have trouble having fun and trying new things. It's not that I can't handle stress--as an entrepreneur, I experience high-stress situations on a daily basis--but that I can't seem to relax enough to meet new people or try something different. Although I'm getting better at it--I've tried baking a pie, going to the batting cages, and learning to play golf--I want to do more. What are some out of the ordinary things I can do to get myself out there? Answers should prefferably require me to meet new people, though not in a romantic sort of way, since my girlfriend and I are quite happy together.

posted by tnoetz01 to Human Relations (7 answers total)

This used to be one of the more common ask metafilter questions. Searching the archives should get you at least 5 or 6 well answered questions. You may have to look at questions more specific than yours; meeting people and trying new things are very different.

First, look at your three listed activities - golf, a pie, batting. Good for you, but these are not always highly social events. In fact, most of them involve you achieving something by yourself, not cooperating towards something.

People here will suggest a few things consistently. They are:

Dancing lessons.
Cooking lessons. (not doing it by yourself)
Art classes (like life drawing).
Habitat for Humanity.
Book clubs/reading clubs.
Martial arts.
Traveling.
posted by fake at 11:36 PM on July 9, 2006

Just start talking to people you encounter every day. It seems like segregating "meeting people" into a discrete activity is part of the problem; it sounds like you're labeling it as some weird hobby for which you need a plan in order to succeed. Just, you know, relax. :-)

As fake said, there are lots of threads with great suggestions for where to meet people, but as for the how, it sounds like you just need to lower your barriers a bit.
posted by occhiblu at 11:54 PM on July 9, 2006

Meetin.org sounds perfect for you.

If there's a meetin.org chapter in your city, look into it. I've only been to meetin.org gatherings with real life friends, but the other people who've come along have been really good people.

Meetin.org chapters do all sorts of stuff, from seeing shows and movies to esoteric stuff like caving and zipline tours.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 12:41 AM on July 10, 2006

I will gladly second and even third, the Meet In recommendation. I loves the Meet In.
posted by willmize at 3:49 AM on July 10, 2006

Seconding martial arts... my wife has always built up a bustling social network wherever she's done this. You'll probably want to avoid the family-oriented / kid-filled dojos as the classes tend to be too huge and you may only be hooking up with soccer moms and busy rat race dads. Adult dojos are more for adults. Aikido and judo are good starters.
posted by rolypolyman at 6:01 AM on July 10, 2006

Take a ballroom dance class together. You will change partners a lot, and it's an easygoing, social way to meet lots of people. You'll also learn some fun dances, and have quality time with your gf.
posted by scarabic at 8:25 AM on July 10, 2006

After living most of my life as a hermit, I have made a point of putting myself out there and making new friends the last few months, and it was not as hard as I would have thought. My process goes like this: a) call up a few friends that you rarely see and go out with them for a drink or coffee or to enjoy another mutual interest together. b) have party, invite previously mentioned few friends and stress that they bring some of their friends that you might not know very well. c) have a few drinks and enjoy your party while mingling with your friends' friends. I find that meeting people is easiest through other people--you're likely to have interests in common, there's no need to really break the ice, you can get in contact with them later with relative ease, etc. Also- introduce yourself to people you see frequently but might not know (co-worker in the elevator, barista at your morning coffee stop, etc). You might find that you have some things to talk about and maybe get an invite to a fun activity. Most people it seems are hoping to meet new people and maybe they need someone like you to start a conversation and bring them out of their shell.
Goodluck--
posted by greta simone at 9:18 AM on July 10, 2006