PTSD in newish city

March 21, 2025 6:40 PM

I moved to Pittsburgh in September. I’m making friends but haven’t been here long enough to have completely safe places and people when my PTSD spikes. It’s been bad for over a week, and one of the triggers is loud noise from nearby bar, so my apartment doesn’t feel safe. I do not drive or have money to go anywhere. I’m not looking for grounding ideas; I need ideas on where to go to feel safe, even briefly. Can be general or specific.

Note re bar noise: I’m working on going through channels for that, but right now I just need a little break first.

While I love libraries, they can be surprising to the senses, and everything is making me jump out of my skin. I’m not religious so not feeling church ideas. Overall there just isn’t enough familiarity here for me to have a lot of options.

Also wanted to be clear that while I don’t feel safe, I am safe.

Finally, I’ve had PTSD for a long time and I know skills and techniques; I just need ideas for places. In short, “I know you said you don’t want grounding skills, but..” isn’t helpful or welcome.

posted by mermaidcafe to Health & Fitness (10 answers total)

The main library branch in Oakland is really lovely and has a quiet reading room on the second floor.

If the weather cooperates, both Schenley and Frick parks are large and impressive and always have some quiet corners. Point State Park - where the 3 rivers meet - is usually quiet and you can walk along the water for a bit or over some of the bridges.

The Frick Museum has free admission.

If you happen to be affiliated with one of the many universities, your ID may get you into some of the cultural sites for free or at a steep discount, like Phipps Conservatory. If you’re not affiliated, Carnegie Mellon and UPitt both sponsor events that are open to the public and have some spaces on campus (like the Cathedral of Learning’s funky museum thing) that you can still access.
posted by A Blue Moon at 7:02 PM on March 21 [6 favorites]

Pittsburgh is blessed with a lot of beautiful parks - walks in Frick Park have been a quiet relief during some kind of intense visits there in the past. Also a fan of the various riverfront trails and the growing loop.

Following up on A Blue Moon, I like get coffee and read in the study area on the ground floor of Pitt's Catheral of Learning, which is open to the public. It's usually relatively quiet, and full of other people looking for some peaceful work space.
posted by reedbird_hill at 8:01 PM on March 21 [4 favorites]

How do you feel about meditation centers? I did a preliminary search and found several in Pittsburgh. I'm not suggesting it as a means to deal with your PTSD, I'm just thinking they'll be quiet and probably would let you stay for as long as you need to. Several appear to be donation based as well.
posted by Toddles at 8:04 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]

Academic libraries specifically maybe? Not sure what sensory surprises you're referring to, but if public libraries are too... public, I've personally not been turned away from any college libraries that I've tried to visit as a non-student adult.

The environment can veer towards more administrative / corporate than your average public library, depending on the specific building and school, so might be less overstimulating to you? This might also open up a bunch of avenues for you - ex. there are so many discrete schools, buildings, quiet floors, opening hours in Pittsburgh! Sometimes you can luck out and find a really deep-cut library that is pin drop silent (like a research library for an esoteric branch of science or art). and there may even be a free commuter shuttle bus for a few of them that could pick you up close by*.

*YMMV how comfortable you feel letting the bus driver assume you're a current student. I usually find that the bus driver doesn't give a single meow whether you have official enrollment ID, as long as you're polite and keep to yourself.
posted by seemoorglass at 8:29 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]

Best answer: With regard to familiarity, have you tried chain restaurants or other highly standardized businesses? Maybe during slow hours. But yeah, nearly every Panera Bread or Starbucks or Apple Store is going to have very similar vibes to ones all across the country. In a lot of cases it’s even the same background music and of course the same foods. So that’s a whole lot of sensory familiarity. Try going at a slow time, for a lunch spot I suggest like 10am or 3pm, order a simple drink and if it’s too noisy you can bail quickly, but if it’s acceptable you can sit and slowly sip.
posted by Mizu at 10:19 PM on March 21

I would consider any museums that might be near you. Perhaps a membership could serve you?

If you go the academic library route, check out the archives, special collections, or rare books libraries.
posted by bluedaisy at 10:45 PM on March 21

Oh, if you want to go the museum/botanical gardens route, get a library card and check out your RAD Pass options. Lots of libraries have programs like this where having a card means free or discounted access to cultural institutions. And sometimes the tickets are for deliberately slow and unpopular times and shows, because they can get full price for the really big things. Depends on the program and the institutions, of course, but Pittsburgh has a lot of them to choose from.
posted by Mizu at 11:15 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]

Since your transit options are limited, what neighborhood are you in?
posted by jon1270 at 3:45 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]

Best answer: The Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh has the RAD pass program. All the major museums are on the list, but sadly not Phipps.

This sounds really odd, but the Union Trust Building (501 Grant Street) is absolutely stunning inside and has some rather peaceful nooks and crannies. When I worked downtown, I would go and sit there for a while when I needed a moment.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:55 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]

I hope you’re doing a little better, OP! My anxiety has been spiking recently (for pretty expected, sociopolitical reasons entirely out of my control) and I’ve been thinking about you and trying to get to spaces that allow me to physically calm down. Hopefully you’ve found some of those too.
posted by Mizu at 2:21 PM on March 24