Can you help me find a "Mother of the Groom" dress? Special snowflake
January 30, 2025 11:32 AM Subscribe
I have started looking for a dress to wear to my son's wedding on June 7th. It's a little bit fun but also HELL and it’s making me very anxious:
ISSUES: (but first, NOTE: when I tried to make the links, HORRIBLE things happened, the text was all screwed up with "20%" figures all over the place, and so if you want to go to the different websites you're just going to have to copy & paste them. I am VERY SORRY.
(1) most of the dresses I am looking at within the category of"semi-formal" are just NOT ME AT ALL. I'm talking about department stores and "bridal" places. This is mostly online. I've gone to the discount stores at Union Square only so far, because I had a knee replacement 5 weeks ago, and I can't walk around that much and the only transportation I use is the 14th street bus because my physical therapy place is at Union Square, so I popped into Burlington Coat Factory (what a dismal place that is!) and Nordstrom Basement or whatever that is (slightly less crappy).
(2) they are not "me" partly because, even after Mounjaro/Ozempic, I am still above average weight, and almost all dresses have a waist, and I do not. Or they're "sheaths," which are horrible on me.
(3) the styles are much too conservative for me -- I mean ALL of them. Even as they have sequins and plunging decolletages they were too conservative for me. I am more of a professor than someone who does pole dancing, if you know what I mean (and I know that you do!) I don’t want to look like the women at the beginning of The French Connection (famous one-shot scene when the made men and their wives/mistresses are entering the night club)
(4) I have looked a lot online too. Bloomingdale's, Saks, Macy's. I look at "formal" and "occasions" and GULP, "mother of the bride" and "mother of the groom." NOW I see the sources for all those "gowns" with sequins etc. that I've seen all those women (cousins) at suburban weddings I've gone to all my life. I liked a couple of dresses online at a weird "wedding gown" website
and looked for "stores near me" where I might see these dresses and they were all in New Jersey!!!! Of COURSE THEY WERE!!!
There are also some nice dresses at Bloomingdale's etc, but again, I have
too much of a middle for all of them AND, I don't want to look like a SACK if I buy the right size.
Also, most of these dresses are $700+.
(5) So I guess I need a more fancy or formal version of the usual sort of "boho" dresses I normal wear (when I wear a dress, that is). My favorite dress in the world is a dress I bought online when I was a lot fatter (pre-Mounjaro). I saw it on a Facebook ad. It is this store: Artrageous, in California -- which I think is now out of business. But the manufacturer of the dress is ALEMBIKA. As a fat, “boho” person, I found this term: lagenlook, I think. Loose, kind of "boho" clothing. But TOO big and loose for me now!
I am a 74-year-old female-identified New York City therapist, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
My favorite dress was SOMETHING like this, but not anymore and not for this occasion:
https://tinyurl.com/mr3ct2sj
There are many other pictures of these clothes on this Facebook Artrageous page. They are geared toward older and fatter women and they are also almost all knits and much too casual for this spring wedding (at a "venue"in Williamsburg, Brooklyn).
But I don't want to look like a SACK anymore (as I've said). Also these dresses are too casual for this event. I also wear a lot of Gudrun whats her name but they too are too casual and formless for me in my current body. and not "dressy" enough.
(6) oh ALSO, let me say that I do NOT WEAR SLEEVELESS things, let alone spaghetti straps or strapless, and many of these more formal dresses are just that. I have not exposed my arms to the general public since junior high school and have no intention of doing so now.
(7) So. This is a nightmare. BUT I have actually ordered a dress from Amazon which is going to be REALLY CHEAP-looking and I am certainly going to return it, but the style seems like the best I can do. AND I have also ordered a dress from Nordstrom Crap which they are going to ship to their
store at Union Square and next week I can try it on and hate it and return it right then and there. Here they are:
Here is the The Cheap-As-Fuck Amazon Dress:
https://tinyurl.com/y55sdv76
BUT it might be my style! I look pretty good in wrap dresses, especially if the wrap/belt is ABOVE the waist, slightly Empire-style (but not full-on Jane Austen/Bridgerton/suggestion of maternity wear.)
Here is the Cheap-As-Fuck Nordstrom dress:
https://www.nordstromrack.com/s/dkny-flutter-sleeve-tie-waist-midi-dress/8098461
It's going to be much too casual.
I have also bookmarked these next outfits from a wedding store that you can order online, which seems absurd because they are made to order and I would probably have to ship it back at my own expense, OR I would have to go to Elizabeth, NJ, if they even have it in stock, and I don't think I
like them that much anyway:
– this is the dress style I've worn all my life (mostly Indian prints) and I think I will hate myself if I wear it to this wedding. It's too "young."
https://www.jasminebridal.com/product_9118_K258008-Charming-Jade-Tiffany-Ch
iffon-A-line-Gown-with-Set-In-Angel-Sleeves-and-Guipure-Lace-Beaded-Waistband
and here is a pant suit! (again, no ability no try on except if you find it in a weird store in a
suburb):
https://madamebridal.com/marsoni-m308.html
I could wear a sparkly necklace or long pearl thing with it and it would be the right
fabric! But it is a little too "Modesty/Orthodox," maybe? Too much fabric? Everyone else will be wearing dresses! (I think)
This is from Bloomingdale's. HIGH END!
https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/mac-duggal-embellished-flutter-sleeve-gown?ID=5383619
I like the Aubergine BUT all those sparkles!!! I'll look ridiculous!!! and from Long Island!!! And the price! BUT I do like the "silhouette" of this dress. (of course that model's
silhouette is NOT MY silhouette, so...)
SO, this is where I am right now! Where might I find a kind of HIP, Spring-looking, PRETTY dress that’s a little FlOWY but not 1965 hippie wedding, not too suburban, hold the sequins, please, not much of a waistline, but still a little, dare I say, SEXY! (or at least not Sister Wife), preferably midi-length, that I can try on before purchase? THANK YOU!!!! (and, again, sorry about the failed links!!!)
ISSUES: (but first, NOTE: when I tried to make the links, HORRIBLE things happened, the text was all screwed up with "20%" figures all over the place, and so if you want to go to the different websites you're just going to have to copy & paste them. I am VERY SORRY.
(1) most of the dresses I am looking at within the category of"semi-formal" are just NOT ME AT ALL. I'm talking about department stores and "bridal" places. This is mostly online. I've gone to the discount stores at Union Square only so far, because I had a knee replacement 5 weeks ago, and I can't walk around that much and the only transportation I use is the 14th street bus because my physical therapy place is at Union Square, so I popped into Burlington Coat Factory (what a dismal place that is!) and Nordstrom Basement or whatever that is (slightly less crappy).
(2) they are not "me" partly because, even after Mounjaro/Ozempic, I am still above average weight, and almost all dresses have a waist, and I do not. Or they're "sheaths," which are horrible on me.
(3) the styles are much too conservative for me -- I mean ALL of them. Even as they have sequins and plunging decolletages they were too conservative for me. I am more of a professor than someone who does pole dancing, if you know what I mean (and I know that you do!) I don’t want to look like the women at the beginning of The French Connection (famous one-shot scene when the made men and their wives/mistresses are entering the night club)
(4) I have looked a lot online too. Bloomingdale's, Saks, Macy's. I look at "formal" and "occasions" and GULP, "mother of the bride" and "mother of the groom." NOW I see the sources for all those "gowns" with sequins etc. that I've seen all those women (cousins) at suburban weddings I've gone to all my life. I liked a couple of dresses online at a weird "wedding gown" website
and looked for "stores near me" where I might see these dresses and they were all in New Jersey!!!! Of COURSE THEY WERE!!!
There are also some nice dresses at Bloomingdale's etc, but again, I have
too much of a middle for all of them AND, I don't want to look like a SACK if I buy the right size.
Also, most of these dresses are $700+.
(5) So I guess I need a more fancy or formal version of the usual sort of "boho" dresses I normal wear (when I wear a dress, that is). My favorite dress in the world is a dress I bought online when I was a lot fatter (pre-Mounjaro). I saw it on a Facebook ad. It is this store: Artrageous, in California -- which I think is now out of business. But the manufacturer of the dress is ALEMBIKA. As a fat, “boho” person, I found this term: lagenlook, I think. Loose, kind of "boho" clothing. But TOO big and loose for me now!
I am a 74-year-old female-identified New York City therapist, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
My favorite dress was SOMETHING like this, but not anymore and not for this occasion:
https://tinyurl.com/mr3ct2sj
There are many other pictures of these clothes on this Facebook Artrageous page. They are geared toward older and fatter women and they are also almost all knits and much too casual for this spring wedding (at a "venue"in Williamsburg, Brooklyn).
But I don't want to look like a SACK anymore (as I've said). Also these dresses are too casual for this event. I also wear a lot of Gudrun whats her name but they too are too casual and formless for me in my current body. and not "dressy" enough.
(6) oh ALSO, let me say that I do NOT WEAR SLEEVELESS things, let alone spaghetti straps or strapless, and many of these more formal dresses are just that. I have not exposed my arms to the general public since junior high school and have no intention of doing so now.
(7) So. This is a nightmare. BUT I have actually ordered a dress from Amazon which is going to be REALLY CHEAP-looking and I am certainly going to return it, but the style seems like the best I can do. AND I have also ordered a dress from Nordstrom Crap which they are going to ship to their
store at Union Square and next week I can try it on and hate it and return it right then and there. Here they are:
Here is the The Cheap-As-Fuck Amazon Dress:
https://tinyurl.com/y55sdv76
BUT it might be my style! I look pretty good in wrap dresses, especially if the wrap/belt is ABOVE the waist, slightly Empire-style (but not full-on Jane Austen/Bridgerton/suggestion of maternity wear.)
Here is the Cheap-As-Fuck Nordstrom dress:
https://www.nordstromrack.com/s/dkny-flutter-sleeve-tie-waist-midi-dress/8098461
It's going to be much too casual.
I have also bookmarked these next outfits from a wedding store that you can order online, which seems absurd because they are made to order and I would probably have to ship it back at my own expense, OR I would have to go to Elizabeth, NJ, if they even have it in stock, and I don't think I
like them that much anyway:
– this is the dress style I've worn all my life (mostly Indian prints) and I think I will hate myself if I wear it to this wedding. It's too "young."
https://www.jasminebridal.com/product_9118_K258008-Charming-Jade-Tiffany-Ch
iffon-A-line-Gown-with-Set-In-Angel-Sleeves-and-Guipure-Lace-Beaded-Waistband
and here is a pant suit! (again, no ability no try on except if you find it in a weird store in a
suburb):
https://madamebridal.com/marsoni-m308.html
I could wear a sparkly necklace or long pearl thing with it and it would be the right
fabric! But it is a little too "Modesty/Orthodox," maybe? Too much fabric? Everyone else will be wearing dresses! (I think)
This is from Bloomingdale's. HIGH END!
https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/mac-duggal-embellished-flutter-sleeve-gown?ID=5383619
I like the Aubergine BUT all those sparkles!!! I'll look ridiculous!!! and from Long Island!!! And the price! BUT I do like the "silhouette" of this dress. (of course that model's
silhouette is NOT MY silhouette, so...)
SO, this is where I am right now! Where might I find a kind of HIP, Spring-looking, PRETTY dress that’s a little FlOWY but not 1965 hippie wedding, not too suburban, hold the sequins, please, not much of a waistline, but still a little, dare I say, SEXY! (or at least not Sister Wife), preferably midi-length, that I can try on before purchase? THANK YOU!!!! (and, again, sorry about the failed links!!!)
eShakti has a (very reasonably priced!) section for you. (It does say "mother of the bride" but surely it's the same idea? If not, nevermind!)
They were suggested in an Ask (probably several), and I got a very nice wedding guest dress there, and you get to choose the neckline, hem and sleeves. Worked great for me.
posted by Glinn at 11:42 AM on January 30 [2 favorites]
They were suggested in an Ask (probably several), and I got a very nice wedding guest dress there, and you get to choose the neckline, hem and sleeves. Worked great for me.
posted by Glinn at 11:42 AM on January 30 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: oh I looked at Rent the Runway! There was nothing there now but I could see that maybe in the next months. also I think they're not too far from me and could maybe even go there? Or I might be thinking of another place like that in NYC. And then I forgot to mention that I could go to thrift shops. I got my wedding dress (not really a wedding dress) in O Mistress Mine, a lovely thrift/consignment shop in the Village that no longer exists.
THANKS!!!
posted by DMelanogaster at 11:42 AM on January 30
THANKS!!!
posted by DMelanogaster at 11:42 AM on January 30
Response by poster: and once I bought an eShakti dress. I will look there! Thank you for reminding me of other times I was in a tailspin about needing a dress for an occasion!! gah!!
posted by DMelanogaster at 11:43 AM on January 30
posted by DMelanogaster at 11:43 AM on January 30
Also, congratulations! You got this!
posted by Glinn at 11:44 AM on January 30 [2 favorites]
posted by Glinn at 11:44 AM on January 30 [2 favorites]
eShakti has DIED but they will *still take your money*. Roll a rock down, but don't order.
How about the nicest Gudrun ?Sojen?, but you take it to a seamstress to fit it a bit?
Posssssssibly an Eileen Fisher layer for slightly fitted and delicious fabric, with a decorative layer for your personality?
posted by clew at 11:52 AM on January 30 [3 favorites]
How about the nicest Gudrun ?Sojen?, but you take it to a seamstress to fit it a bit?
Posssssssibly an Eileen Fisher layer for slightly fitted and delicious fabric, with a decorative layer for your personality?
posted by clew at 11:52 AM on January 30 [3 favorites]
Major, major caveat re eShakti in recent years, unfortunately; do not give them your money (you will never see what you ordered). Rent the Runway is great, especially for something you're only likely to wear once.
posted by Pandora Kouti at 11:53 AM on January 30 [3 favorites]
posted by Pandora Kouti at 11:53 AM on January 30 [3 favorites]
Best answer: My mom also worried about being the mom of the (bride, in my case). She and I looked at things in person together and the things she liked were Flax, Eileen Fisher, and other brands that make classic, neutral things in linen and other natural materials.
It sounds to me that you are looking for things that might run a little flashier than my mom's taste (she has never expressed any desire to wear "sexy" clothing) so I'm also recommending more colorful options like Marimekko or even Anthropologie's wedding subsite, Bhldn (link is to the mother-of-participant dresses).
My wedding was informal and outdoors; I didn't ask people to go fancy. Your situation may differ?
posted by Lawn Beaver at 12:03 PM on January 30 [4 favorites]
It sounds to me that you are looking for things that might run a little flashier than my mom's taste (she has never expressed any desire to wear "sexy" clothing) so I'm also recommending more colorful options like Marimekko or even Anthropologie's wedding subsite, Bhldn (link is to the mother-of-participant dresses).
My wedding was informal and outdoors; I didn't ask people to go fancy. Your situation may differ?
posted by Lawn Beaver at 12:03 PM on January 30 [4 favorites]
I think the Amazon dress looks great and if you wanted to make it more formal you could wear it with a shawl or a fancy jacket, also jewelry will make it look more formal.
But I'm also getting this idea from how you are referring to long island, new jersey, etc, that you are looking for a very specific regional type of formal that is very different culturally from my own experience going to weddings in the more western half of the US.
It seems like you might really need cultural guidance for clothing that is specific to New York City, maybe a personal shopper at a "department store" (I think that is the East Coast term for such places, someplace like Nordstrom or whatever you have locally) could help.
posted by yohko at 12:10 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
But I'm also getting this idea from how you are referring to long island, new jersey, etc, that you are looking for a very specific regional type of formal that is very different culturally from my own experience going to weddings in the more western half of the US.
It seems like you might really need cultural guidance for clothing that is specific to New York City, maybe a personal shopper at a "department store" (I think that is the East Coast term for such places, someplace like Nordstrom or whatever you have locally) could help.
posted by yohko at 12:10 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
(Nthing do not order from Eshakti; I am among the people who got caught up in that but thankfully I wised up in time and was able to do a chargeback before the deadline. TLDR: they string you along with excuses to try to get you past your credit card's chargeback date so they can keep your money and never provide a garment.)
I think a session with a personal shopper would probably be wonderful for you. THERE ARE OPTIONS that will fit your needs and your body.
I asked a question about what to wear to a formal wedding. I ended up wearing a Zuri dress and I don't regret it at all.
posted by BlahLaLa at 12:16 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
I think a session with a personal shopper would probably be wonderful for you. THERE ARE OPTIONS that will fit your needs and your body.
I asked a question about what to wear to a formal wedding. I ended up wearing a Zuri dress and I don't regret it at all.
posted by BlahLaLa at 12:16 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
A sleeveless dress that is otherwise acceptable may work with a "bolero jacket" in a complementary or perhaps even contrasting color. I've pulled this stunt multiple times and it's always worked.
Maybe hit up Poshmark and ThredUp. Setting up your sizes is annoying, and of course "size" in women's garments is an illusion, but I've had fairly good luck... and if you purchase something that doesn't work, at least you're not typically out hundreds of bucks.
posted by humbug at 12:21 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
Maybe hit up Poshmark and ThredUp. Setting up your sizes is annoying, and of course "size" in women's garments is an illusion, but I've had fairly good luck... and if you purchase something that doesn't work, at least you're not typically out hundreds of bucks.
posted by humbug at 12:21 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
For hippie dresses try Mexicali Blues They are not super formal but you could totally dress them up with the right wrap or light jacket and good shoes.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:29 PM on January 30
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:29 PM on January 30
How about this blue midi dress from Talbot's? They sometimes have unique pieces for cocktail/wedding, and the quality is solid.
I own and love multiple dresses from Karina Dresses. You mentioned liking purple, what about this amethyst dress (ON SALE)? All of their dresses are so versatile for me, there might be others on the site you'd like.
posted by little mouth at 12:37 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
I own and love multiple dresses from Karina Dresses. You mentioned liking purple, what about this amethyst dress (ON SALE)? All of their dresses are so versatile for me, there might be others on the site you'd like.
posted by little mouth at 12:37 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
Have you tried Kiyonna? I feel like their evening gowns have a vibe that seems a lot like many of your links, at a price point that's not cheap, but way less than $700. Probably most similar to the Jasmine Bridal dress- the velvet to me makes it feel less young than chiffon might.
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 12:43 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 12:43 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
Try these brands on Ebay: Soft Surroundings, Artful Home, Chico's.
Filters: Brand Name, Dresses, Returnable, Season, Size, Length (midi, maxi), Occasion (under dresses they have Party, Wedding, Formal), Sleeve length, Neckline.
See what pops up. The great thing about Ebay is that seller usually supplies exact measurements. Make sure item is returnable, though you'll have to pay postage both ways. But prices are low. You can make offers and avoid bidding. Just be very careful to read measurements across the chest (pit-to-pit), waistline, hips. You can always get dress shortened. Match up measurements with a dress you own that fits well. Only order from US locations if that's where you are.
With the money you potentially save, go for some statement earrings or necklace, a wrap, and bag, also on Ebay--Sundance, Anthropologie, Chan Liu
posted by Elsie at 12:47 PM on January 30
Filters: Brand Name, Dresses, Returnable, Season, Size, Length (midi, maxi), Occasion (under dresses they have Party, Wedding, Formal), Sleeve length, Neckline.
See what pops up. The great thing about Ebay is that seller usually supplies exact measurements. Make sure item is returnable, though you'll have to pay postage both ways. But prices are low. You can make offers and avoid bidding. Just be very careful to read measurements across the chest (pit-to-pit), waistline, hips. You can always get dress shortened. Match up measurements with a dress you own that fits well. Only order from US locations if that's where you are.
With the money you potentially save, go for some statement earrings or necklace, a wrap, and bag, also on Ebay--Sundance, Anthropologie, Chan Liu
posted by Elsie at 12:47 PM on January 30
If you are in plus sizes, maybe Eloquii. Something like this Satin Puff Sleeve Pleated Dress perhaps?
I see via a quick search that they closed their physical stores a few years ago and are now online only. Returns are pretty painless if you aren't able to find something in person that works.
posted by thatquietgirl at 12:48 PM on January 30 [3 favorites]
I see via a quick search that they closed their physical stores a few years ago and are now online only. Returns are pretty painless if you aren't able to find something in person that works.
posted by thatquietgirl at 12:48 PM on January 30 [3 favorites]
I think the Amazon dress would be perfect if it works for you. It’s formal enough and doesn’t look cheap.
posted by dianeF at 12:57 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
posted by dianeF at 12:57 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
There's a store near Union Square down University, A Uno. It might be more than you want to spend but when I saw the photo you posted I thought of that store immediately.
posted by ch1x0r at 1:08 PM on January 30
posted by ch1x0r at 1:08 PM on January 30
I like your style and I like that Amazon dress!
Once it arrives, I vote that you try it on and even if you're still not sure, keep it until you've found something better. You can always return it later, but it might grow on you. (Or maybe you'll love it immediately, that would be great.)
Remember, no-one needs to know what you paid for it.
posted by demi-octopus at 2:08 PM on January 30
Once it arrives, I vote that you try it on and even if you're still not sure, keep it until you've found something better. You can always return it later, but it might grow on you. (Or maybe you'll love it immediately, that would be great.)
Remember, no-one needs to know what you paid for it.
posted by demi-octopus at 2:08 PM on January 30
A few options from Nordstrom that might be hits or misses:
Betsy & Adam long
Betsy & Adam bright
Betsy & Adam flutter foil
Kiyonna long floral
Other Kiyonna options
posted by bluedaisy at 2:16 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
Betsy & Adam long
Betsy & Adam bright
Betsy & Adam flutter foil
Kiyonna long floral
Other Kiyonna options
posted by bluedaisy at 2:16 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
I hate the situation of needing a specific outfit for a specific vibe for a big event about which I feel some level of emotional pressure. It's so frustrating when trying to satisfy every criteria for what the outfit needs to be, after awhile it feels like I am overthinking it and would convince myself anything isn't good enough.
Anyway, all that to simply set up my answer - I think the purple Amazon dress is really pretty and a totally solid choice. Try it on when it comes and if you feel good in it (and that is the most important thing) then go with it. It's pretty and can be styled more or less formal according to your needs. And since it's not going to break the bank, you could always treat yourself by buying a new piece of jewelry or shoes or something if you want to give it a little extra zing.
posted by fennario at 3:30 PM on January 30
Anyway, all that to simply set up my answer - I think the purple Amazon dress is really pretty and a totally solid choice. Try it on when it comes and if you feel good in it (and that is the most important thing) then go with it. It's pretty and can be styled more or less formal according to your needs. And since it's not going to break the bank, you could always treat yourself by buying a new piece of jewelry or shoes or something if you want to give it a little extra zing.
posted by fennario at 3:30 PM on January 30
Here are a few options:
Azazie is actually pretty incredible. They have hundreds of cuts and many dresses can be ordered in any of 60+ colors. They also do an at home try on thing where you can order several and send back the ones you decide not to keep. And, they do custom sizing if needed. Plus, affordable! I would search in the bridesmaids section for the most variety. For example:
- https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-lainey-wisteria-a-line-chiffon-floor-length-bridesmaid-dress-with-pockets/30092458
- https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-nico-peacock-a-line-v-neck-stretch-satin-floor-length-bridesmaid-dress/26636663
- https://www.azazie.com/products/naya-vintage-rose-midi-dress-atelier-dress/11399743?sourceTag=atelier_formal_dresses
I've never ordered from Lulu's, but they seem to have some styles that match your needs.
https://www.lulus.com/products/ravishing-charm-sage-brush-ruffled-wrap-high-low-maxi-dress/2488591.html
https://www.lulus.com/products/wrapped-up-in-love-mauve-satin-faux-wrap-midi-dress/677502.html
If you're looking for something significantly flashier, try Farm Rio or Johnny Was. They have cuts like you're interested in, but their fabrics are really bright and busy.
In general, searching: flutter sleeve, empire waist, flowy, and then a fabric (silk, chiffon, satin, etc.) is getting me some interesting places. Good luck!
posted by luzdeluna at 3:55 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
Azazie is actually pretty incredible. They have hundreds of cuts and many dresses can be ordered in any of 60+ colors. They also do an at home try on thing where you can order several and send back the ones you decide not to keep. And, they do custom sizing if needed. Plus, affordable! I would search in the bridesmaids section for the most variety. For example:
- https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-lainey-wisteria-a-line-chiffon-floor-length-bridesmaid-dress-with-pockets/30092458
- https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-nico-peacock-a-line-v-neck-stretch-satin-floor-length-bridesmaid-dress/26636663
- https://www.azazie.com/products/naya-vintage-rose-midi-dress-atelier-dress/11399743?sourceTag=atelier_formal_dresses
I've never ordered from Lulu's, but they seem to have some styles that match your needs.
https://www.lulus.com/products/ravishing-charm-sage-brush-ruffled-wrap-high-low-maxi-dress/2488591.html
https://www.lulus.com/products/wrapped-up-in-love-mauve-satin-faux-wrap-midi-dress/677502.html
If you're looking for something significantly flashier, try Farm Rio or Johnny Was. They have cuts like you're interested in, but their fabrics are really bright and busy.
In general, searching: flutter sleeve, empire waist, flowy, and then a fabric (silk, chiffon, satin, etc.) is getting me some interesting places. Good luck!
posted by luzdeluna at 3:55 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
So here's an out-of-left field suggestion: Sign up for GwennieBee, try a bunch of shit on, and buy the one you like. It's like Rent-the-Runway, but explicitly for plus sizes, and their styles are all over the place. The purchase prices are usually reasonable, but you can just wear the dress to the wedding and return it when you're done.
My girlfriend has been using them for years and I'm honestly really impressed with the selection and the community contributions for sizing and fit.
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:56 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
My girlfriend has been using them for years and I'm honestly really impressed with the selection and the community contributions for sizing and fit.
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:56 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
I love your ideal dress. I loved a particular Ask.Me about dresses and there might be some links there for you. Your ideal dress is from alembika, here's a dress that's simple and could be worn with a very beautiful scarf, also an Eileen Fisher top and skirt can do that. I like the DKNY dress a lot
Here's a pretty dress from SoftSurroundings that would avoid waistline stress. Lots of good links getting posted.
posted by theora55 at 4:05 PM on January 30
Here's a pretty dress from SoftSurroundings that would avoid waistline stress. Lots of good links getting posted.
posted by theora55 at 4:05 PM on January 30
I live in Brooklyn and I think I understand what you mean when you’re looking for boho, definitely not Long Island sparkly, but I’m not sure I understand all the other constraints. If you’re willing to look in the $200-400 range, some brands you might try are TOAST, World of Crow, Adrianna Papell, thekit, Anthropologie, and Poetry. Since you don’t want to look like a disco ball but still want to be mother of the groom appropriate, I would look for high end fabrics like silk and organza since you’re not going to have sparkles to “elevate” things.
Personally, looking through a few sites, I liked this dress. Not conventional, but it’s pretty and you could probably find another occasion to wear it again: https://www.poetryfashion.com/product-RH85-POADS/colour-a-midnight-shell/dresses-skirts/long-printed-silk-dress.htm
posted by A Blue Moon at 5:05 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
Personally, looking through a few sites, I liked this dress. Not conventional, but it’s pretty and you could probably find another occasion to wear it again: https://www.poetryfashion.com/product-RH85-POADS/colour-a-midnight-shell/dresses-skirts/long-printed-silk-dress.htm
posted by A Blue Moon at 5:05 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]
What size are you, roughly? It would be helpful to know if we're shopping in straight sizes or extended sizes. Are there any colors you'd prefer or are trying to avoid? Must it be midi, or is knee length ok?
Also, are you open to ordering dresses that can be returned via mail?
posted by notjustthefish at 6:05 PM on January 30
Also, are you open to ordering dresses that can be returned via mail?
posted by notjustthefish at 6:05 PM on January 30
I've never ordered, but I've spent a lot of time looking at Scarlett and Jo. Styles seem similar to the dresses you've linked.
posted by kjs4 at 6:55 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
posted by kjs4 at 6:55 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
A few more ideas, because I forgot that Tuckernuck, while appearing at first glance to be preppy central, actually carries some pretty interesting dresses and more size inclusive than most brands.
https://tnuck.com/products/vivid-jardin-essie-dress
https://tnuck.com/products/deco-floral-satin-faven-dress
https://tnuck.com/products/baroque-floral-delaney-dress
posted by A Blue Moon at 7:00 PM on January 30
https://tnuck.com/products/vivid-jardin-essie-dress
https://tnuck.com/products/deco-floral-satin-faven-dress
https://tnuck.com/products/baroque-floral-delaney-dress
posted by A Blue Moon at 7:00 PM on January 30
This is a store near me, not you, but I’m certain you can find the brands somewhere much closer if anything in there speaks to you — or they might ship but check their return policy. Some of this is obviously too casual but the artsy shimmer might resonate.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:15 PM on January 30
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:15 PM on January 30
I dealt with the whole mother-of-the-groom dress nonsense last year... and the bride's family has money and was paying for a super-fancy, expensive wedding, though it was NOT black tie and there wasn't really a dress code, just "nice".
I never was one to dress up, I'm heavier than I wish I was so nothing feels like it fits right, I'm short, and I was not doing sleeveless because 1) heavy, 2) late September wedding, and 3) I get cold easy and did NOT want to cart around a shawl. So, finding a dress was a nightmare. Tried ordering from THREE different places of the many wedding-ware/fancy-dress places we scrutinized, (none of which fit even tolerably right, and even the ones that my daughter and daughter-in-law approved, I couldn't stand wearing), and finally resorted to ordering a dress from, of all places, Shein.
And that dress arrived on time, fit even better than I expected it to, and actually got quite a few compliments. (And it cost under $30 at the time, when the other horrid options were $200+. Go figure.) Got told I should have ordered that one in the first place, lol.
An even better bonus? I did NOT have to worry about wrinkles in the slightest.
Oh, and if you want sleeves, one way to find them is use "butterfly" or "flutter" sleeves as a search term.
posted by stormyteal at 7:47 PM on January 30
I never was one to dress up, I'm heavier than I wish I was so nothing feels like it fits right, I'm short, and I was not doing sleeveless because 1) heavy, 2) late September wedding, and 3) I get cold easy and did NOT want to cart around a shawl. So, finding a dress was a nightmare. Tried ordering from THREE different places of the many wedding-ware/fancy-dress places we scrutinized, (none of which fit even tolerably right, and even the ones that my daughter and daughter-in-law approved, I couldn't stand wearing), and finally resorted to ordering a dress from, of all places, Shein.
And that dress arrived on time, fit even better than I expected it to, and actually got quite a few compliments. (And it cost under $30 at the time, when the other horrid options were $200+. Go figure.) Got told I should have ordered that one in the first place, lol.
An even better bonus? I did NOT have to worry about wrinkles in the slightest.
Oh, and if you want sleeves, one way to find them is use "butterfly" or "flutter" sleeves as a search term.
posted by stormyteal at 7:47 PM on January 30
I recommend going to Macys. My sibling was recently married and my Mother and I both needed formal dresses. Macys had the best selection of the department stores even though we wouldn't typically shop there. We're both plus size and we both wanted sleeves.
Shopping separately and in different states, we both ended up with dresses from the XSCAPE brand, oddly enough, but I also considered Adriana Papell and MacDuggal. The dress my Mom ended up with wasn't very different from the one on Amazon that you ordered, though it was longer.
Another tip is to try on dresses that don't necessarily look good on the hanger or mannequin. Some look very dowdy and conservative until you wear them. Also don't fully discount the sleeveless strappy dresses -- you can get a bolero jacket or have sleeves added.
I almost went with this dress which may fit your criteria.
posted by miscbuff at 8:00 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
Shopping separately and in different states, we both ended up with dresses from the XSCAPE brand, oddly enough, but I also considered Adriana Papell and MacDuggal. The dress my Mom ended up with wasn't very different from the one on Amazon that you ordered, though it was longer.
Another tip is to try on dresses that don't necessarily look good on the hanger or mannequin. Some look very dowdy and conservative until you wear them. Also don't fully discount the sleeveless strappy dresses -- you can get a bolero jacket or have sleeves added.
I almost went with this dress which may fit your criteria.
posted by miscbuff at 8:00 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]
You might like Monsoon, which is a British company that seems similar to your tastes, and is a really usual brand for people here to wear to a wedding. They have plenty of dresses for under $200, although there are probably more florals than you would get with a NYC brand.
posted by plonkee at 3:35 AM on January 31
posted by plonkee at 3:35 AM on January 31
Out-of-the-box thinking: vintage inspired? One of these dresses from Unique Vintage might work.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 4:21 AM on January 31
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 4:21 AM on January 31
TL;DR, just came in to say that you can buy directly from Alembika (if you see something appropriate ).
Mazal Tov (and don't forget to enjoy yourself)!
posted by mirileh at 7:54 AM on January 31
Mazal Tov (and don't forget to enjoy yourself)!
posted by mirileh at 7:54 AM on January 31
I've gone with Holy Clothing for things like this (order early, it takes a few weeks). They're not all super-Ren-Faire; I've gotten simple lacy overdresses that work for formals. Just a cursory glance gives me this one, which may suit you. They usually have a lot of colors and they're very plus-size friendly.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:23 AM on January 31 [1 favorite]
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:23 AM on January 31 [1 favorite]
I love the Amazon dress. I'd totally get it for myself if I had some closet space and didn't have a $2K car repair bill to pay.
posted by kathrynm at 8:51 AM on February 1
posted by kathrynm at 8:51 AM on February 1
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posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:38 AM on January 30 [4 favorites]