Filed anti-harassment policy violations - now what?
August 16, 2024 11:04 AM Subscribe
Anti-harassment policies are great, but they are just words is not enforceable. What are reasonable expectations to have in the wake of filing violations? Any success stories so small work places recovering from rupture?
I work in a small non-profit (~10 instructors) that works with children in a 4-session programming event that involves physical exercise - think gym/PE type programming. The majority of instructors are long-time friends. One of these instructors continually violates children's space (along the lines of patting on the back, lifting chins of children looking down, never asking consent to adjust a physical posture. Although I consider any physical contact without explicit consent, a violation - none of the contact is sexually explicit. Most of it could be characterized as an older generation's cultural expectations of how children should treat elder (give grandma a hug...etc). There is currently no policy related to asking for consent to adjust posture but after my complaints the powers that be are scrambling to add it to a handbook.
I suffered a major traumatic event a few months ago, including vicarious trauma involving close family members reliving of sexual assault. At the root of the trauma is the ways in which victims of any type of trauma or assault are not believed or blamed for the trauma inflicted upon them.
A witnessed a coworker yelling at a child who was crying and repeatedly telling the child that nothing was wrong. I went into flight or fight mode and confronted the instructor. By confronting, I questioned the activities leading up to the incident, I did not name call or shame, I wanted to know why a child was put in this situation. This instructor called me a gendered name in clear violation of our organizations anti-harassment policy. I was then removed from my next shift with this instructor which I believe was retaliation for reporting the incident, and then subsequently told if I continued to confront inappropriate behavior, I would be asked to leave - which I believe was intimidation.
I filed three claims that go against our anti-harassment policy including: being called a gendered name, retaliation for filing a claim, and intimidation.
Because our organization is so small there is no HR department. The head of an organization hired an external HR firm to investigate the claim. I managed to make this person angry by questioning his credentials to evaluate a claim of trauma given that his expertise is business and not psychology - to the point I have him on record saying he was offended. In addition to this, he at least twice said that people make false anti-harassment claims - which really triggered my trauma response.
That was over a week ago and nothing has happened. No contact with me. No follow up. No next steps. Other than protecting children and having a clear policy in place including a mechanism for how violations will be handled, I do not know what I want. I am angry, hurt, and would like an apology. I know that the powers that be want nothing but for me to go away and pretend nothing happened.
I have every reason to believe I will be ostracized as there is a culture of retaliation that has made any allies I have in that space to quit. I don't know how to proceed and am looking for thoughts/suggestions. Any recommendations on how to navigate this?
I work in a small non-profit (~10 instructors) that works with children in a 4-session programming event that involves physical exercise - think gym/PE type programming. The majority of instructors are long-time friends. One of these instructors continually violates children's space (along the lines of patting on the back, lifting chins of children looking down, never asking consent to adjust a physical posture. Although I consider any physical contact without explicit consent, a violation - none of the contact is sexually explicit. Most of it could be characterized as an older generation's cultural expectations of how children should treat elder (give grandma a hug...etc). There is currently no policy related to asking for consent to adjust posture but after my complaints the powers that be are scrambling to add it to a handbook.
I suffered a major traumatic event a few months ago, including vicarious trauma involving close family members reliving of sexual assault. At the root of the trauma is the ways in which victims of any type of trauma or assault are not believed or blamed for the trauma inflicted upon them.
A witnessed a coworker yelling at a child who was crying and repeatedly telling the child that nothing was wrong. I went into flight or fight mode and confronted the instructor. By confronting, I questioned the activities leading up to the incident, I did not name call or shame, I wanted to know why a child was put in this situation. This instructor called me a gendered name in clear violation of our organizations anti-harassment policy. I was then removed from my next shift with this instructor which I believe was retaliation for reporting the incident, and then subsequently told if I continued to confront inappropriate behavior, I would be asked to leave - which I believe was intimidation.
I filed three claims that go against our anti-harassment policy including: being called a gendered name, retaliation for filing a claim, and intimidation.
Because our organization is so small there is no HR department. The head of an organization hired an external HR firm to investigate the claim. I managed to make this person angry by questioning his credentials to evaluate a claim of trauma given that his expertise is business and not psychology - to the point I have him on record saying he was offended. In addition to this, he at least twice said that people make false anti-harassment claims - which really triggered my trauma response.
That was over a week ago and nothing has happened. No contact with me. No follow up. No next steps. Other than protecting children and having a clear policy in place including a mechanism for how violations will be handled, I do not know what I want. I am angry, hurt, and would like an apology. I know that the powers that be want nothing but for me to go away and pretend nothing happened.
I have every reason to believe I will be ostracized as there is a culture of retaliation that has made any allies I have in that space to quit. I don't know how to proceed and am looking for thoughts/suggestions. Any recommendations on how to navigate this?
Just to add to the lawyer track (which I agree makes sense), employment law in the US is very employer friendly so lawyers can be very hesitant to take even legitimate cases because employment are so difficult to win (and depending on the state and statue, employment law might not even cover your legal costs if you win). Retaliation is often the easiest claim to prove.
Also, employment lawyers who think your case is weak will sometimes simply ghost you or decline to take your case rather than actually saying you have a weak case, because that could be considered legal advice. In other words, "we can't take your case right now" often means "we don't think you have a good case."
posted by yaj at 12:26 PM on August 16
Also, employment lawyers who think your case is weak will sometimes simply ghost you or decline to take your case rather than actually saying you have a weak case, because that could be considered legal advice. In other words, "we can't take your case right now" often means "we don't think you have a good case."
posted by yaj at 12:26 PM on August 16
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this and feeling unsupported. A few scattered thoughts from someone who participates in a different kind of misconduct investigation as part of her job:
- In such a small org without its own HR, I’m worried there won’t be sufficient support for you in a difficult process. I agree it might not be a bad idea to go ahead and have a consultation with an employment lawyer who can ask you all the detailed questions we can’t get into here, and give you a better idea of what your situation and options might be.
- I’d be very surprised if anything more *had* happened after only a week. These sorts of investigations, if done right, take much longer than you think they will. But the person running it should be able to tell you what to expect and on what timeline, and to be responsive to queries for any timeline updates. If they are not reasonably responsive, that is a problem that you might take to your lawyer or to your organization. (“Reasonably” is a moving target, but I would say ask no more than weekly and don’t expect to hear many updates every week; this kind of thing may well unfold on the order of months.)
- These kinds of investigations are run by compliance people, not psychologists, though part of that process may well be bringing in outside expertise as needed which could include psychological expertise. I strongly suggest dialing back on questioning this person’s expertise or fitness for doing this investigation unless explicitly advised to do so by that lawyer you may talk to.
posted by Stacey at 12:28 PM on August 16 [4 favorites]
- In such a small org without its own HR, I’m worried there won’t be sufficient support for you in a difficult process. I agree it might not be a bad idea to go ahead and have a consultation with an employment lawyer who can ask you all the detailed questions we can’t get into here, and give you a better idea of what your situation and options might be.
- I’d be very surprised if anything more *had* happened after only a week. These sorts of investigations, if done right, take much longer than you think they will. But the person running it should be able to tell you what to expect and on what timeline, and to be responsive to queries for any timeline updates. If they are not reasonably responsive, that is a problem that you might take to your lawyer or to your organization. (“Reasonably” is a moving target, but I would say ask no more than weekly and don’t expect to hear many updates every week; this kind of thing may well unfold on the order of months.)
- These kinds of investigations are run by compliance people, not psychologists, though part of that process may well be bringing in outside expertise as needed which could include psychological expertise. I strongly suggest dialing back on questioning this person’s expertise or fitness for doing this investigation unless explicitly advised to do so by that lawyer you may talk to.
posted by Stacey at 12:28 PM on August 16 [4 favorites]
In my experience, most professionals who investigate employment claims and violations are not mental health professionals. They may be HR and compliance professionals and, when outside firms are engaged, are often lawyers. This is to gently suggest that the person investigating your claim should not reasonably be expected to have a mental health background. That doesn't mean they shouldn't treat you with tact, respect and kindness. You are owed that in any professional interaction.
As an HR professional, I've conducted many investigations, ranging from minor to very serious. Regardless of the claim alleged, my goal is to gather the facts, understand the context and keep the complainant informed. Sometimes it takes me several weeks to conduct an investigation. Witnesses may be on PTO or difficult to schedule time with. I may have to circle back to the complainant several times as new information is presented. There are many reasons why an investigation may drag out longer than I'd like. I usually advise the complainant upfront that it may take several weeks to resolve but that I will keep them informed. For me, that's typically weekly or bi-weekly.
When I'm evaluating the claim I'm not trying - nor am I qualified to - evaluate whether the behavior I'm investigating may have caused trauma. I'm trying to determine, what, if any policies, may have been violated and what action may be necessary as a result. Often, I'm making a judgment call based on which of the employees involved has presented the most credible case. It's not always clear what happened or what was said and when I can't substantiate a claim with witnesses or emails or some other concrete evidence, I have to determine how to proceed anyway.
I don't know if you have a claim that a lawyer would be interested in. I do know that it's probably unlikely a lawyer would take your case before the investigation concludes. They would have to know what they're dealing with before deciding how to proceed. In the meantime, I think it's fine to check in with your leader or the investigator to see about the progress of the investigation.
Speaking of the investigator, you allude to 'managing' to make them angry. While I'm sure that wasn't your intention, it was an unfortunate interaction if the individual felt offended enough to tell you they were offended. Could they be a lousy investigator with poor interpersonal skills? Sure. But alienating the person who is charged with neutrally gathering the facts hurts your position, no matter how wronged you may have been. Questioning someone's credentials and competency will put them on the back foot. If you have the occasion to speak to them again, I recommend sticking to the facts and recounting them as straightforwardly as possible. Fairly or unfairly, investigators are impacted by their impressions of the people they interview. As much as you can keep your interactions with this person neutral and calm, the better.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how incredibly stressful it is. Maybe a mental health professional or a support group could help with the emotional impacts while the investigation plays out. You have a right to seek support and comfort while you process this but your employer and their investigator are not the avenues for that.
posted by MissPitts at 1:13 PM on August 16 [15 favorites]
As an HR professional, I've conducted many investigations, ranging from minor to very serious. Regardless of the claim alleged, my goal is to gather the facts, understand the context and keep the complainant informed. Sometimes it takes me several weeks to conduct an investigation. Witnesses may be on PTO or difficult to schedule time with. I may have to circle back to the complainant several times as new information is presented. There are many reasons why an investigation may drag out longer than I'd like. I usually advise the complainant upfront that it may take several weeks to resolve but that I will keep them informed. For me, that's typically weekly or bi-weekly.
When I'm evaluating the claim I'm not trying - nor am I qualified to - evaluate whether the behavior I'm investigating may have caused trauma. I'm trying to determine, what, if any policies, may have been violated and what action may be necessary as a result. Often, I'm making a judgment call based on which of the employees involved has presented the most credible case. It's not always clear what happened or what was said and when I can't substantiate a claim with witnesses or emails or some other concrete evidence, I have to determine how to proceed anyway.
I don't know if you have a claim that a lawyer would be interested in. I do know that it's probably unlikely a lawyer would take your case before the investigation concludes. They would have to know what they're dealing with before deciding how to proceed. In the meantime, I think it's fine to check in with your leader or the investigator to see about the progress of the investigation.
Speaking of the investigator, you allude to 'managing' to make them angry. While I'm sure that wasn't your intention, it was an unfortunate interaction if the individual felt offended enough to tell you they were offended. Could they be a lousy investigator with poor interpersonal skills? Sure. But alienating the person who is charged with neutrally gathering the facts hurts your position, no matter how wronged you may have been. Questioning someone's credentials and competency will put them on the back foot. If you have the occasion to speak to them again, I recommend sticking to the facts and recounting them as straightforwardly as possible. Fairly or unfairly, investigators are impacted by their impressions of the people they interview. As much as you can keep your interactions with this person neutral and calm, the better.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how incredibly stressful it is. Maybe a mental health professional or a support group could help with the emotional impacts while the investigation plays out. You have a right to seek support and comfort while you process this but your employer and their investigator are not the avenues for that.
posted by MissPitts at 1:13 PM on August 16 [15 favorites]
Your employer is taking decent steps to review and respond-it can take time, especially if the business needs to set up contracts and formalize a relationship with an outside vendor. When I worked on the board of a small nonprofit the business also belonged to MD Association of Nonprofits which streamlined resources for members that were often very small businesses.
For you, please connect with self care, especially with the recent external event that is affecting how grounded you are, with all of these recent work layers piling on, investigations can be stressful too. Find a mantra or some other grounding device. Understand that the full context is bigger than your past trauma: you want everyone’s experience to be better than what you were observing at the time, including your colleague.
People do not change behaviors quickly. Investigations can motivate change sometimes, but often it takes deep understanding that the business community fundamentally does not want to devote resources to. Restorative practices are a typical tool that help teams work through challenges to the status quo (=this colleague’s methods are minimally ok) to where all of you want to be as a thriving business and youth-serving program. You are certainly working through a Brene Brown person-in-the-arena moment, but also, there are strong hints to take a moment with your professionals in the corner to personally check in before the next bell rings.
posted by childofTethys at 2:20 PM on August 16 [1 favorite]
For you, please connect with self care, especially with the recent external event that is affecting how grounded you are, with all of these recent work layers piling on, investigations can be stressful too. Find a mantra or some other grounding device. Understand that the full context is bigger than your past trauma: you want everyone’s experience to be better than what you were observing at the time, including your colleague.
People do not change behaviors quickly. Investigations can motivate change sometimes, but often it takes deep understanding that the business community fundamentally does not want to devote resources to. Restorative practices are a typical tool that help teams work through challenges to the status quo (=this colleague’s methods are minimally ok) to where all of you want to be as a thriving business and youth-serving program. You are certainly working through a Brene Brown person-in-the-arena moment, but also, there are strong hints to take a moment with your professionals in the corner to personally check in before the next bell rings.
posted by childofTethys at 2:20 PM on August 16 [1 favorite]
Call your state's Labor Dept. Depending on your state, they may have useful advice, ans should be able to refer you to a Human Rights Commission or similar.
My employer clearly discriminated against me and I documented it quite well over time. So much ugly behavior from my employer followed. I filed with the Human Rights Commission, the rebuttals called me a liar despite email and other documentation. The commission provided mediation and we settled. I got a not large sum.
I was able to do this because I have savings and a doctor who insisted I go on disability when things got so stressful my health was measurably affected. Challenging your employer is a good thing to do, but it's hard to prevail. Take notes. Send email to yourself from a work email; this creates a timestamp. When I wrote to my supervisor about the issue, I BCC'ed my home email. They could say I lied, but the email was documentably real. I wish you the best luck. Thanks for sticking up for kids.
posted by theora55 at 3:54 PM on August 17
My employer clearly discriminated against me and I documented it quite well over time. So much ugly behavior from my employer followed. I filed with the Human Rights Commission, the rebuttals called me a liar despite email and other documentation. The commission provided mediation and we settled. I got a not large sum.
I was able to do this because I have savings and a doctor who insisted I go on disability when things got so stressful my health was measurably affected. Challenging your employer is a good thing to do, but it's hard to prevail. Take notes. Send email to yourself from a work email; this creates a timestamp. When I wrote to my supervisor about the issue, I BCC'ed my home email. They could say I lied, but the email was documentably real. I wish you the best luck. Thanks for sticking up for kids.
posted by theora55 at 3:54 PM on August 17
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You can call your state's bar association referral service and ask them for a list of employment lawyers in your area. Specify that you want ones that handle the employee side, not just the employer side. The bar might not have them broken down as such, in which case just call the firms and ask them if they represent employees or just employers. (Most employment lawyers represent employers.)
It may seem premature to talk to a lawyer because it's only been a week, but it takes time to get an appointment and you might want to get free consultations from a few lawyers before picking one. So I would start scheduling those appointments now, and if everything is resolved to your satisfaction before the appointments then you can just cancel them.
posted by Jacqueline at 11:26 AM on August 16 [16 favorites]