Business lunches for messy eaters
July 20, 2024 10:28 AM Subscribe
I am a messy eater and 5/7 days I will have food spots on my shirt by the end of the day. What are the best strategies for eating in a business context?
I find it kind of embarrassing when I spill food on myself when I eat with acquaintances. The spill zone is my upper chest.
What are my best strategies for:
1. Buffet lunch of corporate food, not of my choosing
2. Box lunch of corporate food, sandwich or salad choice
3. Dine out at dinner
Dress code is casual/business casual, so t-shirt or collared shirt. It is hot, so no camouflage upper layer is available.
I will accept any and all food, methods, wardrobes advice considering the above constraints.
I find it kind of embarrassing when I spill food on myself when I eat with acquaintances. The spill zone is my upper chest.
What are my best strategies for:
1. Buffet lunch of corporate food, not of my choosing
2. Box lunch of corporate food, sandwich or salad choice
3. Dine out at dinner
Dress code is casual/business casual, so t-shirt or collared shirt. It is hot, so no camouflage upper layer is available.
I will accept any and all food, methods, wardrobes advice considering the above constraints.
Can you wear generic type shirts and keep a spare available for ducking out and changing? I know someone who got sick at an academic job interview (multi-day affairs, she got sick at dinner) and left the table to go vomit. She returned having remoed her shirt, in her undershirt. Nobody said boo about it and she got the job. You don't want to be regularly hanging out in an undershirt but if you regularly get dirty, having a change of shirt might not be a bad idea.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 11:03 AM on July 20, 2024 [7 favorites]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 11:03 AM on July 20, 2024 [7 favorites]
Alternatively, if your business-casual look can include an overshirt, pull it shut a little while you eat and then ditch it after the meal.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 11:05 AM on July 20, 2024
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 11:05 AM on July 20, 2024
Best answer: I was a full on adult well before I learned that 'good' American table manners all boil down to pretending that you are not even a little bit hungry, and that you are tasting the food simply to avoid hurting the feelings of your hosts. Tiny bites. Lots of pauses between bites, during which you sit back and put your utensil down. Approaching everything this way transformed me from a messy eater to a neat, albeit slow, one. Not the way you want to eat every time, but for the occasional public lunch it works well.
posted by Ausamor at 11:10 AM on July 20, 2024 [21 favorites]
posted by Ausamor at 11:10 AM on July 20, 2024 [21 favorites]
all this but also carry a Tide To Go pen. These work ridiculously well, I don't even understand how it is possible
posted by ManInSuit at 11:11 AM on July 20, 2024 [17 favorites]
posted by ManInSuit at 11:11 AM on July 20, 2024 [17 favorites]
Wearing black (or other dark colours) can help hide tiny spots of (e.g.) tomato sauce when they inevitably occur.
posted by heatherlogan at 11:19 AM on July 20, 2024 [5 favorites]
posted by heatherlogan at 11:19 AM on July 20, 2024 [5 favorites]
I have that problem, I am a person with breasts.
In many ways it comes down to food choice and how I sit. The other day, a business lunch involved chilled pea and mint soup and my white top stayed white.
For sitting - when eating as opposed to just chatting I tilt forward slightly at the hip, getting my torso closer to the table to minimise the distance food has to travel from plate to mouth/ maximise the distance over table/lap that is covered by napkin.
Food choices - the starter at that lunch was set but there were choices for the mains. I chose aubergine and tomato ‘steak tartare’. Not likely to drip or splatter or difficult to balance on a fork.
Also, especially with that soup, eating slowly to make sure that any drips from the bottom of the spoon would materialise while the spoon was still over the bowl and not me.
In the before days, when business attire tended to be more formal than after the return to the office, I had male colleagues who admitted to only wearing patterned and multi coloured ties to hide marks and stains. Some preferred none white shirts for the same reason….
On preview - 2nding the fact that business meals are not about eating but about talking to people. So your food choices should be guided by what is easy to eat while talking and minimises the chances of you ending up with food down your chin, shirt or all over your fingers. There is a reason why politicians don’t eat in public if they can avoid it. So no sauces, tiny bites etc. If you don’t finish and have to reach for a snack an hr or two later that’s fine.
posted by koahiatamadl at 11:42 AM on July 20, 2024 [3 favorites]
In many ways it comes down to food choice and how I sit. The other day, a business lunch involved chilled pea and mint soup and my white top stayed white.
For sitting - when eating as opposed to just chatting I tilt forward slightly at the hip, getting my torso closer to the table to minimise the distance food has to travel from plate to mouth/ maximise the distance over table/lap that is covered by napkin.
Food choices - the starter at that lunch was set but there were choices for the mains. I chose aubergine and tomato ‘steak tartare’. Not likely to drip or splatter or difficult to balance on a fork.
Also, especially with that soup, eating slowly to make sure that any drips from the bottom of the spoon would materialise while the spoon was still over the bowl and not me.
In the before days, when business attire tended to be more formal than after the return to the office, I had male colleagues who admitted to only wearing patterned and multi coloured ties to hide marks and stains. Some preferred none white shirts for the same reason….
On preview - 2nding the fact that business meals are not about eating but about talking to people. So your food choices should be guided by what is easy to eat while talking and minimises the chances of you ending up with food down your chin, shirt or all over your fingers. There is a reason why politicians don’t eat in public if they can avoid it. So no sauces, tiny bites etc. If you don’t finish and have to reach for a snack an hr or two later that’s fine.
posted by koahiatamadl at 11:42 AM on July 20, 2024 [3 favorites]
I have decided that I'm too cool to give a fuck about looking right. Back in the days where I went into an office, I'd throw on my "office flannel" and button it up over my boobs. Take it off when done & take it home to wash it when needed.
Anyone has something to say about it? "Ha, yeah well I've got bad hand coordination and [gesture at chest] I'm packin'."
I've got a sense of humor enough to pull off saying that with good humor (i.e. unbothered, unchided). Someone thinks it's rude that I acknowledge my anatomy is different from theirs? Um sorry no? What's ruder, really, me making a let's drop this and move along statement or you making public comment about my quiet behavior in the first place. We live in a society.
posted by phunniemee at 11:55 AM on July 20, 2024 [2 favorites]
Anyone has something to say about it? "Ha, yeah well I've got bad hand coordination and [gesture at chest] I'm packin'."
I've got a sense of humor enough to pull off saying that with good humor (i.e. unbothered, unchided). Someone thinks it's rude that I acknowledge my anatomy is different from theirs? Um sorry no? What's ruder, really, me making a let's drop this and move along statement or you making public comment about my quiet behavior in the first place. We live in a society.
posted by phunniemee at 11:55 AM on July 20, 2024 [2 favorites]
Response by poster:
posted by shock muppet at 11:56 AM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
have you possibly got the resources to work with an occupational therapist?I do. I actually have an essential tremor that manifests the worst as an intention tremor in my non-dominant hand. I take medication but it never really goes away. A 1-lb wrist weight can help but is not cool for business lunches.
posted by shock muppet at 11:56 AM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
Tide to go pens are wildly effective, but do have a little test at home first because a friend once got a truly itchy rash on their chest after using one and then sweating for the rest of the afternoon under their shirt’s tide residue. That said I consider myself to have really sensitive skin and I don’t react to it.
I have the big boob + short torso problem with eating neatly, but I am pretty good about not getting food stains when I’m eating in public. Some things I’ve learned to do:
- sit a bit taller than I would prefer for maximum comfort. Sometimes this involves sitting on a folded up jacket or ideally a cushion. I am a notorious leg crosser when the seating allows for it, although that’s not easy in a formal context unless it’s a traditional Japanese situation or something.
- I crane my neck forward when I take a bite of food, instead of bringing the food to my face, such that the food drips onto the plate and not my cleavage. It’s more of a whole body movement, less arms.
- I rarely keep my elbows off the table, only in the most fanciest snootiest restaurants do I pay attention to that. Almost nobody under the age of 90 has ever given a damn about it and it helps me prevent stains massively. There’s added stability and also an elbow staying placed helps me gauge if I’m leaning forward enough.
- Utilize bread plates, saucers, rice bowls to convey messy things. A big culprit of the food spill is sharing bites and communal plates. If at all possible I will get a small bite of food onto a dish that I can get very close to me before using a utensil or fingers to eat it. Like if someone offers an hors d'oeuvres, I put it on a plate or napkin before eating it. If there’s shared chips and salsa, I bring the whole salsa bowl to me, have a few chips with the salsa bowl literally in my hand near my face, and place it back down in the middle of the table after a minute.
- As mentioned above, eating slower with smaller bites helps. Think of how much you can pick up with chopsticks. That’s the size of a bite of food that you should also pick up with a fork or spoon, even though they are wildly more effective at picking up larger amounts. Learn to use a fork and knife effectively so you can use leverage to cut most things even with a butter knife, so it’s easier to make smaller bites. Experiment a bit at home to find the right grip for you, everyone is a little different, but I hold my knife close to the blade and use my index finger extended along the top edge for pressure and precision. I also hold my silverware continental style instead of American - not switching my fork hand around keeps me a lot cleaner, but I learned as a toddler from my fancy grandma so it might be hard to switch as an adult. Literally nobody cares about how you hold your silverware anymore, so practice a bit at home to find what gives you the most stability and precision with different foods.
- Napkins are important! Instead of putting it on your lap under the table, unfold it fully and rest it against the lower half of your torso and pelvis. If there is a liquidy type course like soup or saucy pasta, pull the napkin higher up and lean forward so it is caught a bit between you and the table. Use your napkin to liberally wipe your face even if you don’t think it’s needed, because there are probably drops you haven’t noticed, especially if you have facial hair. Use your napkin to brush down your torso occasionally as well.
- I am prone to spilling my drink a little bit. You might find it better to stabilize your glass with one hand or a couple fingers on the bottom and the other hand to actually move and drink from it. Always put your drink down before gesticulating and do your best not to take big gulps. You might use an extra napkin to add friction to a very wet glass. Dab your face with your regular napkin after taking a bigger sip.
- There is wisdom in bringing a backup shirt to the most important business occasions, especially if there will be photos after.
posted by Mizu at 12:11 PM on July 20, 2024 [3 favorites]
I have the big boob + short torso problem with eating neatly, but I am pretty good about not getting food stains when I’m eating in public. Some things I’ve learned to do:
- sit a bit taller than I would prefer for maximum comfort. Sometimes this involves sitting on a folded up jacket or ideally a cushion. I am a notorious leg crosser when the seating allows for it, although that’s not easy in a formal context unless it’s a traditional Japanese situation or something.
- I crane my neck forward when I take a bite of food, instead of bringing the food to my face, such that the food drips onto the plate and not my cleavage. It’s more of a whole body movement, less arms.
- I rarely keep my elbows off the table, only in the most fanciest snootiest restaurants do I pay attention to that. Almost nobody under the age of 90 has ever given a damn about it and it helps me prevent stains massively. There’s added stability and also an elbow staying placed helps me gauge if I’m leaning forward enough.
- Utilize bread plates, saucers, rice bowls to convey messy things. A big culprit of the food spill is sharing bites and communal plates. If at all possible I will get a small bite of food onto a dish that I can get very close to me before using a utensil or fingers to eat it. Like if someone offers an hors d'oeuvres, I put it on a plate or napkin before eating it. If there’s shared chips and salsa, I bring the whole salsa bowl to me, have a few chips with the salsa bowl literally in my hand near my face, and place it back down in the middle of the table after a minute.
- As mentioned above, eating slower with smaller bites helps. Think of how much you can pick up with chopsticks. That’s the size of a bite of food that you should also pick up with a fork or spoon, even though they are wildly more effective at picking up larger amounts. Learn to use a fork and knife effectively so you can use leverage to cut most things even with a butter knife, so it’s easier to make smaller bites. Experiment a bit at home to find the right grip for you, everyone is a little different, but I hold my knife close to the blade and use my index finger extended along the top edge for pressure and precision. I also hold my silverware continental style instead of American - not switching my fork hand around keeps me a lot cleaner, but I learned as a toddler from my fancy grandma so it might be hard to switch as an adult. Literally nobody cares about how you hold your silverware anymore, so practice a bit at home to find what gives you the most stability and precision with different foods.
- Napkins are important! Instead of putting it on your lap under the table, unfold it fully and rest it against the lower half of your torso and pelvis. If there is a liquidy type course like soup or saucy pasta, pull the napkin higher up and lean forward so it is caught a bit between you and the table. Use your napkin to liberally wipe your face even if you don’t think it’s needed, because there are probably drops you haven’t noticed, especially if you have facial hair. Use your napkin to brush down your torso occasionally as well.
- I am prone to spilling my drink a little bit. You might find it better to stabilize your glass with one hand or a couple fingers on the bottom and the other hand to actually move and drink from it. Always put your drink down before gesticulating and do your best not to take big gulps. You might use an extra napkin to add friction to a very wet glass. Dab your face with your regular napkin after taking a bigger sip.
- There is wisdom in bringing a backup shirt to the most important business occasions, especially if there will be photos after.
posted by Mizu at 12:11 PM on July 20, 2024 [3 favorites]
This is harder to get away with if you're in masculine-style clothing, but I carry scarves to wear either just at meals or just happen to have on in the stretch of time up to a meal and then it might disappear after.
You can get them purpose made but I first figured this out while wearing one of my go-to travel infinity scarves with secret pocket. Upside of an infinity scarf is you can just rearrange it if you do spill. I also like this scarf for airport travel, I wear it more like a sash with the pocket (with my id etc) right front and center where I can get at it.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:11 PM on July 20, 2024 [4 favorites]
You can get them purpose made but I first figured this out while wearing one of my go-to travel infinity scarves with secret pocket. Upside of an infinity scarf is you can just rearrange it if you do spill. I also like this scarf for airport travel, I wear it more like a sash with the pocket (with my id etc) right front and center where I can get at it.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:11 PM on July 20, 2024 [4 favorites]
Dress code is casual/business casual, so t-shirt or collared shirt. It is hot, so no camouflage upper layer is available.
Once upon a time it used to be a standard thing to tuck a napkin into your neckline like a bib. These days it's not. But maybe if you have the right sort of charisma (or, alternatively, a willingness to lean into anti-charisma or dorkiness), you can pull it off.
Beyond that, I agree with dark colors, leaning forward over the plate/box/table, and the point about social eating being a situation where you want to eat slowly, carefully, and sometimes minimally. Sometimes it's possible to take precautions: for example, sandwiches can be inherently messy, but if they're over-full and obviously going to be dropping things as you eat, you might be able to shake out or otherwise remove some of the loose bits before you even start lifting the sandwich up, and again as needed between bites.
posted by trig at 1:10 PM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
Once upon a time it used to be a standard thing to tuck a napkin into your neckline like a bib. These days it's not. But maybe if you have the right sort of charisma (or, alternatively, a willingness to lean into anti-charisma or dorkiness), you can pull it off.
Beyond that, I agree with dark colors, leaning forward over the plate/box/table, and the point about social eating being a situation where you want to eat slowly, carefully, and sometimes minimally. Sometimes it's possible to take precautions: for example, sandwiches can be inherently messy, but if they're over-full and obviously going to be dropping things as you eat, you might be able to shake out or otherwise remove some of the loose bits before you even start lifting the sandwich up, and again as needed between bites.
posted by trig at 1:10 PM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
Wrist weight -- watch or bracelet?
posted by humbug at 1:15 PM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by humbug at 1:15 PM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
I was at a conference where we were served wrap sandwiches, which I always find tricky to eat elegantly. My senior colleague set it on his plate, unwrapped it, and ate the contents with a fork! I was so impressed.
Obvious but may help: pick white wine over red, under fill your coffee cup, and try to avoid anything with a red sauce. The worst a Cesar salad can do to you is an oil spot.
posted by chocotaco at 1:16 PM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
Obvious but may help: pick white wine over red, under fill your coffee cup, and try to avoid anything with a red sauce. The worst a Cesar salad can do to you is an oil spot.
posted by chocotaco at 1:16 PM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
Eating really slowly is the biggest trick for most of us, but if a wrist weight helps you, they make heavy bracelets specifically for that purpose! It might be worth seeking one out.
posted by metasarah at 2:18 PM on July 20, 2024
posted by metasarah at 2:18 PM on July 20, 2024
Eat slower of course. Smaller bites too
I also try to eat less when I'm eating with work folk. Choice of food is critical...no soup, tomato based food, noodles that are likely to slip,...you get the idea. I often opt for a salad with dressing on the side. I control how much dressing goes on salad...A side of bread or rolls with butter and I'm done. If people enquire I say oh this is plenty for me, thanks for asking.
posted by Czjewel at 3:43 PM on July 20, 2024
I also try to eat less when I'm eating with work folk. Choice of food is critical...no soup, tomato based food, noodles that are likely to slip,...you get the idea. I often opt for a salad with dressing on the side. I control how much dressing goes on salad...A side of bread or rolls with butter and I'm done. If people enquire I say oh this is plenty for me, thanks for asking.
posted by Czjewel at 3:43 PM on July 20, 2024
Tops with stain-repellant tech; examples, Coldwater Creek StainStop, Mother Oxford, Ably Apparel
Clothing treated with Scotchguard
"Washable and Reusable Clothing Protectors" (example) that look like draped scarves
Weighted bracelets (some examples at Alex Health Jewelry's main site, Etsy store)
Incidentally heavy bracelets (stacked; metal cuffs; some magnet-therapy bracelets)
A cuff worn over a slim-profile wrist weight
Cala Trio wrist device for tremor
Omelets, quiches, frittatas. Box lunch = tuna salad or chicken salad sandwich; skip the "carb-y" bread, eat filling with spoon or fork. Some hand pies (pasties, samosas, empanadas).
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:17 PM on July 20, 2024 [3 favorites]
Clothing treated with Scotchguard
"Washable and Reusable Clothing Protectors" (example) that look like draped scarves
Weighted bracelets (some examples at Alex Health Jewelry's main site, Etsy store)
Incidentally heavy bracelets (stacked; metal cuffs; some magnet-therapy bracelets)
A cuff worn over a slim-profile wrist weight
Cala Trio wrist device for tremor
Omelets, quiches, frittatas. Box lunch = tuna salad or chicken salad sandwich; skip the "carb-y" bread, eat filling with spoon or fork. Some hand pies (pasties, samosas, empanadas).
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:17 PM on July 20, 2024 [3 favorites]
I have a problem with being a slow (and messy) eater, so I'll snack so I'm not so hungry when the meal actually happens and can eat less and hope I just get lucky.
Also no long noodles (spaghetti), skip salad (leaves flap and spray dressing), hold a napkin with the non-dominant if having to being messy things to my face.
posted by flimflam at 7:27 PM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
Also no long noodles (spaghetti), skip salad (leaves flap and spray dressing), hold a napkin with the non-dominant if having to being messy things to my face.
posted by flimflam at 7:27 PM on July 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
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posted by shockpoppet at 10:36 AM on July 20, 2024 [11 favorites]