Lockdown and disordered body image/eating
August 18, 2020 2:59 PM Subscribe
Covid-19 lockdown has changed my eating patterns and movement patterns greatly. I've gained weight and I was overweight to start with. I am really, really struggling with my body image, and functioning more generally. What can I do to get myself out of this hole, without exacerbating latent eating disorder and anxiety/depression/OCD around dieting and calorie-counting etc? CW for triggers around weight, nutrition and body image.
I've always been significantly overweight, and have done a lot of work on myself in my 30s to develop a healthy relationship with food, exercise and my body more generally. I suffered from an eating disorder from my late teens all the way through my twenties. I cannot diet, calorie-count or otherwise restrict my eating. It will mess me up.
With the start of lockdown my cardio has dropped a great deal just because, well, I'm home more of the time so not doing my usual levels of daily activity. I do 2-3 online exercise classes a week. I used to do those in person, now I do them on zoom. I definitely eat more and eat more unhealthily because I have really struggled with feeding myself over WFH and lockdown. In general I have really been struggling with remaining productive at work as well as keeping on top of my household and general life admin.
I seem to have some mental/physical block around cooking and feeding myself 3x a day (prior to lockdown, I was eating fairly healthily but a lot of my meals were at the work cafeteria, or out with friends etc). I put off eating during the day because I cannot deal with deciding what I am going to eat, or the effort it requires to cook and prepare it; I eat when I am ravenous and it's always something easy and unhealthy, and I comfort eat a lot of chocolates, ice cream and other junk in the evenings after work. For me the 'comfort' in comfort eating is real - it makes me feel connected to and at home in my body in a way that nothing else physical I do can - however it has made my body, ironically, a place I do not recognise as my home.
I struggle with the urge to just get takeaway every day, I feel like it's a toss up between eating whatever unhealthy food I have at home that requires no prep, versus eating something healthy and balanced from outside, which will cost me money. And that tension creates further stress. Cooking feels like a bridge too far for me right now, the idea of prepping and cooking and cleaning up and putting things away just to feed one person makes me want to curl up and weep. My friends urge me to batch cook on Sundays, but that is just laughable. I am not capable.
All this means I have gained a lot of weight. I met up with friends recently for a socially distanced get together and in each of the photos, I can't bear to look at myself. I look so terrible. I feel really bad about what I look like.
I realise all this sounds like depression and maybe it is. But I don't FEEL depressed. I've been depressed before and I know what it feels like. I feel pretty ok as long as I'm not doing things that stress me out (i.e. cooking/making food/thinking about food). I'm being productive at work, talking with friends and family, doing socially distanced hangouts with friends, doing lots of reading and creative writing, etc. Nobody who speaks to me would think of me as acting depressed.
But I feel terrible about what I look like and I so miss the good old days when I felt on top of things and not defeated by day to day stuff like feeding myself. I am thinking about just buying some protein shakes and having them everyday so I don't need to worry about what I am going to feed myself, but I don't know if that's a sign of disordered eating?
Anyway, tl;dr: struggling deeply with body image and feeding myself healthily over lockdown. Advice welcomed, but please do not tell me to batch cook and please do not tell me to diet. I know AskMe is generally kind, but please do be kind; I feel terrible about all this.
I've always been significantly overweight, and have done a lot of work on myself in my 30s to develop a healthy relationship with food, exercise and my body more generally. I suffered from an eating disorder from my late teens all the way through my twenties. I cannot diet, calorie-count or otherwise restrict my eating. It will mess me up.
With the start of lockdown my cardio has dropped a great deal just because, well, I'm home more of the time so not doing my usual levels of daily activity. I do 2-3 online exercise classes a week. I used to do those in person, now I do them on zoom. I definitely eat more and eat more unhealthily because I have really struggled with feeding myself over WFH and lockdown. In general I have really been struggling with remaining productive at work as well as keeping on top of my household and general life admin.
I seem to have some mental/physical block around cooking and feeding myself 3x a day (prior to lockdown, I was eating fairly healthily but a lot of my meals were at the work cafeteria, or out with friends etc). I put off eating during the day because I cannot deal with deciding what I am going to eat, or the effort it requires to cook and prepare it; I eat when I am ravenous and it's always something easy and unhealthy, and I comfort eat a lot of chocolates, ice cream and other junk in the evenings after work. For me the 'comfort' in comfort eating is real - it makes me feel connected to and at home in my body in a way that nothing else physical I do can - however it has made my body, ironically, a place I do not recognise as my home.
I struggle with the urge to just get takeaway every day, I feel like it's a toss up between eating whatever unhealthy food I have at home that requires no prep, versus eating something healthy and balanced from outside, which will cost me money. And that tension creates further stress. Cooking feels like a bridge too far for me right now, the idea of prepping and cooking and cleaning up and putting things away just to feed one person makes me want to curl up and weep. My friends urge me to batch cook on Sundays, but that is just laughable. I am not capable.
All this means I have gained a lot of weight. I met up with friends recently for a socially distanced get together and in each of the photos, I can't bear to look at myself. I look so terrible. I feel really bad about what I look like.
I realise all this sounds like depression and maybe it is. But I don't FEEL depressed. I've been depressed before and I know what it feels like. I feel pretty ok as long as I'm not doing things that stress me out (i.e. cooking/making food/thinking about food). I'm being productive at work, talking with friends and family, doing socially distanced hangouts with friends, doing lots of reading and creative writing, etc. Nobody who speaks to me would think of me as acting depressed.
But I feel terrible about what I look like and I so miss the good old days when I felt on top of things and not defeated by day to day stuff like feeding myself. I am thinking about just buying some protein shakes and having them everyday so I don't need to worry about what I am going to feed myself, but I don't know if that's a sign of disordered eating?
Anyway, tl;dr: struggling deeply with body image and feeding myself healthily over lockdown. Advice welcomed, but please do not tell me to batch cook and please do not tell me to diet. I know AskMe is generally kind, but please do be kind; I feel terrible about all this.
Added to activity because it me.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:12 PM on August 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:12 PM on August 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
As someone who typically does do a lot of batch cooking, I've been finding it hard to do that during COVID so you have my sympathies.
It sounds like you really need someone to help you take some of effort of deciding/planning/cooking off your shoulders. There are healthy options for prepared foods that would lift the need to cook burden off your shoulders. Trader Joe's is especially good for that. And even my local grocery store, natural foods store, etc has options.
Would it be possible for you to work with someone to plan your meals for the week using a lot of prepared food options. I don't even think this person needs to be a nutritionist or have anything remotely to do with the diet/industrial complex. The meal planning wouldn't be to diet, or count calories, or analyze your eating habits. It's literally so you don't have to decide what you're going to eat or have to cook it. Kind of like Meals on Wheels. Food is there and the most that's required of you is to heat it up.
posted by brookeb at 3:15 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
It sounds like you really need someone to help you take some of effort of deciding/planning/cooking off your shoulders. There are healthy options for prepared foods that would lift the need to cook burden off your shoulders. Trader Joe's is especially good for that. And even my local grocery store, natural foods store, etc has options.
Would it be possible for you to work with someone to plan your meals for the week using a lot of prepared food options. I don't even think this person needs to be a nutritionist or have anything remotely to do with the diet/industrial complex. The meal planning wouldn't be to diet, or count calories, or analyze your eating habits. It's literally so you don't have to decide what you're going to eat or have to cook it. Kind of like Meals on Wheels. Food is there and the most that's required of you is to heat it up.
posted by brookeb at 3:15 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
Short term: It sounds to me like you're having trouble with motivation at the moment (as are many, many people). Coming from someone else who has a long history of disordered eating, it is perfectly legit to order in protein shakes and healthy (i.e. not restrictive) meal delivery services. I used a keto meal delivery service a couple years back to ensure I always had something satisfying and nutritious in the freezer to zap when i got home from work after a long commute. And I often bought the "large" size meals to make sure portion sizes were adequate. This will help you get away from conventional food delivery which is a one-way ticket to weight gain for many.
Long term: you've been suffering from disordered eating for a long, long time. I have as well, both of the undereating and overeating variety. I've been in Overeaters Anonymous for a solid 18 months now, things are a lot better, and I can assure you there's no need to find a higher power of any sort. My weight has largely been stable and at a healthy level since that time. If you'd like to know more, feel free to PM me.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 3:21 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
Long term: you've been suffering from disordered eating for a long, long time. I have as well, both of the undereating and overeating variety. I've been in Overeaters Anonymous for a solid 18 months now, things are a lot better, and I can assure you there's no need to find a higher power of any sort. My weight has largely been stable and at a healthy level since that time. If you'd like to know more, feel free to PM me.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 3:21 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
Would subscribing to a meal kit plan a few days a week be too much cooking for you? I'm talking about the ones that have everything all ready to go and all you do is follow the instructions; everything is prepped, chopped, portioned out and all you do is pop it in the microwave or oven or maybe add water or another liquid. Maybe if you do a cost-analysis of a few days a week of those kinds of meals vs. the cost of what you're doing now, you'll find you'd possibly be saving money. I'd look up the best meal kit plans for you to see how they compare on prep, but I'm sorry I don't know where you're located.
posted by cooker girl at 3:21 PM on August 18, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by cooker girl at 3:21 PM on August 18, 2020 [5 favorites]
Try Freshly. I've done a few weeks during quarantine, and I've used it prior during stressful times when I don't want to have to think about food. Search for promo codes, you will definitely find deals. Last time I ordered from them (with a promo code) it was $80 for 12 meals including tax and delivery.
The food is...fine. It's not calorie restricted but it's not lavish either, just normal food. Fully cooked, portioned out, with microwave instructions. I have found it to be absolutely worth the cost when I am stressed and want to eat real food without thinking about it AT ALL.
posted by phunniemee at 3:39 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
The food is...fine. It's not calorie restricted but it's not lavish either, just normal food. Fully cooked, portioned out, with microwave instructions. I have found it to be absolutely worth the cost when I am stressed and want to eat real food without thinking about it AT ALL.
posted by phunniemee at 3:39 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
I feel like it's a toss up between eating whatever unhealthy food I have at home that requires no prep, versus eating something healthy and balanced from outside, which will cost me money.
This seems like a thing with a potential solution: replacing the unhealthy food at home with healthy food at home that also requires little/no prep.
My meals largely consist of:
-cut up vegetables, salads, or those microwave veggie bowls they sell in the produce section of the grocery. Frozen vegetable medleys when I'm hard up for fresh stuff.
-hard-boiled eggs and a fruit (again, frozen or dried when fresh stuff is hard to come by)
-deli meats and cheeses (sometimes made into a sandwich when I can muster the energy, mostly just on their own)
I also have eaten a lot of lower-sugar cereal and crackers, which in my usual life I don't typically bother with. But they're extremely low-effort and (for me anyway) high satisfaction, without being totally awful for me.
Having this stuff around keeps me from the takeaway food most of the time, until I get it as a treat with intention.
Also, just to say, I completely feel you on how hard and stupid this all is. I'm sheltering in place with someone who has had lifelong disordered eating and I have also struggled with it over time; I'm struggling more as I have to deal with her constant commentary about food and weight and bodies, etc. I also hate to cook under the best of circumstances and have completely rejected it during this current shitshow. At the same time, obviously, like you, I don't want to come out of this feeling and looking like hell because I haven't eaten nutrients in 6 months. It's a tightrope.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 3:48 PM on August 18, 2020 [6 favorites]
This seems like a thing with a potential solution: replacing the unhealthy food at home with healthy food at home that also requires little/no prep.
My meals largely consist of:
-cut up vegetables, salads, or those microwave veggie bowls they sell in the produce section of the grocery. Frozen vegetable medleys when I'm hard up for fresh stuff.
-hard-boiled eggs and a fruit (again, frozen or dried when fresh stuff is hard to come by)
-deli meats and cheeses (sometimes made into a sandwich when I can muster the energy, mostly just on their own)
I also have eaten a lot of lower-sugar cereal and crackers, which in my usual life I don't typically bother with. But they're extremely low-effort and (for me anyway) high satisfaction, without being totally awful for me.
Having this stuff around keeps me from the takeaway food most of the time, until I get it as a treat with intention.
Also, just to say, I completely feel you on how hard and stupid this all is. I'm sheltering in place with someone who has had lifelong disordered eating and I have also struggled with it over time; I'm struggling more as I have to deal with her constant commentary about food and weight and bodies, etc. I also hate to cook under the best of circumstances and have completely rejected it during this current shitshow. At the same time, obviously, like you, I don't want to come out of this feeling and looking like hell because I haven't eaten nutrients in 6 months. It's a tightrope.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 3:48 PM on August 18, 2020 [6 favorites]
One thing I particularly love are bagged salad kits. The kind that has everything for the salad already packaged together, you just open them up and dump them in a bowl. I'm sure these are meant for two people but I just use a giant bowl, dump all the stuff in, and have it for a meal. I live in NJ and can find these in all of my local grocery stores.
Are you able to prepare things, not like cooking a recipe but say, hardboiling eggs? I don't like eggs but I know they are pretty easy to prepare and you can stash those in the fridge. Another thing I do when I feel like it is roast an entire chicken, then stick it in the fridge. I don't mind roasting chickens, though - if I did, I would buy a rotisserie chicken at the store.
I'm also a big fan of cheese plates with pickles, maybe some bread, pepperoni, whatever.
I say all of this as a very overweight person so I feel very much not being able to look at yourself in pictures and not wanted to count calories, etc.
posted by lyssabee at 3:52 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
Are you able to prepare things, not like cooking a recipe but say, hardboiling eggs? I don't like eggs but I know they are pretty easy to prepare and you can stash those in the fridge. Another thing I do when I feel like it is roast an entire chicken, then stick it in the fridge. I don't mind roasting chickens, though - if I did, I would buy a rotisserie chicken at the store.
I'm also a big fan of cheese plates with pickles, maybe some bread, pepperoni, whatever.
I say all of this as a very overweight person so I feel very much not being able to look at yourself in pictures and not wanted to count calories, etc.
posted by lyssabee at 3:52 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
I'm on a medication that suppresses appetite and have struggled with skipped meals during lockdown. Honestly? I just have been buying lunchables to make sure I put some lunch in my face hole. It helps. What's the easiest food you find regularly palatable? It might be a granola bar. Bagged salads are a good suggestion. I bet you'll feel better at the end of the day if you've eaten *something.*
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:00 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:00 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
One thing that has worked for me in terms of being low effort and allowing me to eat quickly and immediately without feeding into any disordered thinking about food is to make grocery shopping and minor meal prep into a single activity that can take up an entire weekend afternoon. The goal is to have ingredients on hand for a sort of adult lunchable situation.
I buy 2-3 vegetables that are very easy to prepare. For me it's bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, and either carrots or cucumber. When I get home I cut them up and put them in tupperware before putting them in the fridge.
Same with fruits. Strawberries, blueberries, oranges, whatever fruits you like. Wash and cut them and tupperware them in the fridge when you get home from the store.
For protein, I like pre-fried tofu, hard-boiled eggs, salami, prosciutto, and cheese. But get whatever you like. I actually cut up the cheese into cubes and put it in a tupperware so that later, it is very easy to eat. Then for starches, I can't eat wheat so I do plantain chips, popcorn, and rice crackers.
When it's lunch time I just pull out 1-2 proteins, a fruit, a veg and a starch and put them on my plate. I find it satiating and I can get some variety from day to day. Sometimes I liven things up with a few pickles or pickled beets, or some toast with jam. I also eat these foods for some of my snacks.
The overall routine of putting things in tupperware takes less than 30 minutes, sometimes I find it hard to find the motivation but when I do, I am always glad I did it.
posted by mai at 4:15 PM on August 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
I buy 2-3 vegetables that are very easy to prepare. For me it's bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, and either carrots or cucumber. When I get home I cut them up and put them in tupperware before putting them in the fridge.
Same with fruits. Strawberries, blueberries, oranges, whatever fruits you like. Wash and cut them and tupperware them in the fridge when you get home from the store.
For protein, I like pre-fried tofu, hard-boiled eggs, salami, prosciutto, and cheese. But get whatever you like. I actually cut up the cheese into cubes and put it in a tupperware so that later, it is very easy to eat. Then for starches, I can't eat wheat so I do plantain chips, popcorn, and rice crackers.
When it's lunch time I just pull out 1-2 proteins, a fruit, a veg and a starch and put them on my plate. I find it satiating and I can get some variety from day to day. Sometimes I liven things up with a few pickles or pickled beets, or some toast with jam. I also eat these foods for some of my snacks.
The overall routine of putting things in tupperware takes less than 30 minutes, sometimes I find it hard to find the motivation but when I do, I am always glad I did it.
posted by mai at 4:15 PM on August 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
When I felt similarly, I knew there was nothing I could do on my own to get myself out of my rut. I subscribed to a meal delivery service for 30 days, and considered that my only committment -- the only decision I had to make -- was "eat what they send me." The choice was out of my hands beyond that. Just "eat what they send me." It helped me a lot, and I was able to succeed at that. At the end of the 30 days I felt significantly better and more capable of making better choices on my own, meal prepping, etc.
posted by BlahLaLa at 4:16 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by BlahLaLa at 4:16 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
I also have been fighting the urge to get more takeout than usual during lockdown, and it finally dawned on me that a significant part of what I was craving was in-person interaction. Just the hello and thank you in the presence of another human during the exchange means a lot.
Since I realized that loneliness was driving it for me, I have stepped up phone calls with friends who are talkers to keep me company during my chores. And I have been increasing other types of masked, distanced, outdoor activities in the presence of others, and it does help.
I hope you find something that works for you.
posted by Former Congressional Representative Lenny Lemming at 4:50 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
Since I realized that loneliness was driving it for me, I have stepped up phone calls with friends who are talkers to keep me company during my chores. And I have been increasing other types of masked, distanced, outdoor activities in the presence of others, and it does help.
I hope you find something that works for you.
posted by Former Congressional Representative Lenny Lemming at 4:50 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
I have had and currently to a lesser degree have low motivation to cook and now because of the horrible Southern California heat, very little desire to eat. My food intake is 50% cheese crisps and popsicles some days.
My suggestion to you is to find a microwavable or ready-to-eat food that you can keep on hand in your freezer or fridge. I get premade salads and frozen Indian curries. The curries I pick up at the closest Indian grocery store. The salads I've been getting at Trader Joe's. I'm guessing you are in the UK from your vocabulary, so I don't know what would be the equivalent for you, but even the premade salad kits at the regular grocery store chains have been fine.
It's okay to eat comfort foods, they comfort us. I also find eating salad comforting because I think "yes! I have fiber in my diet! and oooh this is a new texture. and thank god I didn't have to chop all of this because I totally would have let half of the vegetables get gross in the fridge." Sometimes I eat the salad with my comfort foods.
posted by spamandkimchi at 5:02 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
My suggestion to you is to find a microwavable or ready-to-eat food that you can keep on hand in your freezer or fridge. I get premade salads and frozen Indian curries. The curries I pick up at the closest Indian grocery store. The salads I've been getting at Trader Joe's. I'm guessing you are in the UK from your vocabulary, so I don't know what would be the equivalent for you, but even the premade salad kits at the regular grocery store chains have been fine.
It's okay to eat comfort foods, they comfort us. I also find eating salad comforting because I think "yes! I have fiber in my diet! and oooh this is a new texture. and thank god I didn't have to chop all of this because I totally would have let half of the vegetables get gross in the fridge." Sometimes I eat the salad with my comfort foods.
posted by spamandkimchi at 5:02 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
We're doing Freshly too, and the rest of our meals are primarily assembly, not cooking. Breakfast for my husband is a yogurt and toast, mine is boiled eggs and ready-to-heat sausages. We have sandwich makings, and a lot of the remainder of our meals are assembled from basic frozen packaged items (typical Assembly meal: frozen cauli rice, frozen brussels, real or veggie frozen meatballs, some kind of basic sauce/dressing). I do buy a limited amount of fresh veg I can throw in the air fryer/oven in lieu of frozen (brussels and broccoli will almost always get eaten and I can freeze them before they're totally gone off if necessary), which works because the frozen meatballs or veggie burgers or fish can also go in the oven at the same time.
But I don't "cook" anymore. Basically every meal we eat is a "bowl" now. I was wasting enormous amounts of food that I was buying out of anxiety, not having the executive function to cook, and avoiding in lieu of junk. I had to just stop ordering the junk*, simplify way down to this system, we're getting the cheapest meal kit service I could find (EveryPlate) so my husband can cook a few meals, but I think even that might be too much for someone home alone. For what you'd end up paying for a bunch of stuff you don't really want to be eating/cannot get around to cooking, Freshly and a modest selection of basic groceries could run roughly the same, maybe with a bit of extra just thrown at not having to do it yourself. WHICH IS A THING THAT HAS VALUE RIGHT NOW. It really does.
*We really went full-on with the junk, stuff we would normally never eat, and I had to stop making that stuff accessible. We have some treatish food, and I do buy a good take-and-bake pizza in each week's grocery order so we can have Pizza Night.
I used to be a massive meal-prepper and it was very useful and I was pretty good at it, but I just cannot now. I hurt my knee so I can't stand for that long (and pivot-type movements keep re-injuring my knee, and it turns out every move you make in a kitchen is a pivot!), but even before then...the mental capacity to do all that stuff was just gone.
Instead of getting mad at yourself, just work the situation you're in. You're dealing with restrictions on your energy and bandwidth to manage all the life stuff right now, how can you make this easiest for yourself instead of endlessly dragging yourself up the hill of something that's not going to work for you at the moment? Play to the current landscape, not a set of expectations. If you were going to write out a solution for a good friend having this problem, what would you recommend to them?
posted by Lyn Never at 5:26 PM on August 18, 2020 [5 favorites]
But I don't "cook" anymore. Basically every meal we eat is a "bowl" now. I was wasting enormous amounts of food that I was buying out of anxiety, not having the executive function to cook, and avoiding in lieu of junk. I had to just stop ordering the junk*, simplify way down to this system, we're getting the cheapest meal kit service I could find (EveryPlate) so my husband can cook a few meals, but I think even that might be too much for someone home alone. For what you'd end up paying for a bunch of stuff you don't really want to be eating/cannot get around to cooking, Freshly and a modest selection of basic groceries could run roughly the same, maybe with a bit of extra just thrown at not having to do it yourself. WHICH IS A THING THAT HAS VALUE RIGHT NOW. It really does.
*We really went full-on with the junk, stuff we would normally never eat, and I had to stop making that stuff accessible. We have some treatish food, and I do buy a good take-and-bake pizza in each week's grocery order so we can have Pizza Night.
I used to be a massive meal-prepper and it was very useful and I was pretty good at it, but I just cannot now. I hurt my knee so I can't stand for that long (and pivot-type movements keep re-injuring my knee, and it turns out every move you make in a kitchen is a pivot!), but even before then...the mental capacity to do all that stuff was just gone.
Instead of getting mad at yourself, just work the situation you're in. You're dealing with restrictions on your energy and bandwidth to manage all the life stuff right now, how can you make this easiest for yourself instead of endlessly dragging yourself up the hill of something that's not going to work for you at the moment? Play to the current landscape, not a set of expectations. If you were going to write out a solution for a good friend having this problem, what would you recommend to them?
posted by Lyn Never at 5:26 PM on August 18, 2020 [5 favorites]
This pandemic sucks and not having a reason to leave the house sucks and feeling uncomfortable in your body sucks. I commiserate so completely. I hate cooking for my one solitary person, too. It's a lot of effort, and it reminds me often that I am kind of sad and lonely. But sometimes the food comes out really tasty, and that's nice. And I've found that if I limit myself to only having to make one food choice, it's much easier. That also extends to the grocery store! I try to go once a week (usually Tuesday mornings) and I get pretty much the same thing every week.
I've been doing a really really rote set of meals during lockdown. I eat the same breakfast - yogurt and granola - and the same lunch - lettuce, cheese, seeds, and some crackers and hummus - every single week day. They are easy to throw together and they've become habits. I usually have some other nuts, fruit, popcorn, or chips at home to snack on between meals. I eat the same thing at the same time and there is no choice or question, that's just what I eat.
Dinners, I do whatever I feel like. Maybe it's takeout, maybe it's cooking pasta and throwing some cheese on it, maybe it is hummus and chips again, maybe it is a candy bar from the convenience store across the street. Maybe it is something more interesting but still pretty easy? When I grocery shop, I try to get ingredients for one interesting thing that will have leftovers for a few days (my big successes in this regard have been this sweet potato and black bean salad , this farro and leek salad, and this really easy khichdi (rice and lentils)). They are tasty and comforting and reasonably healthy. The khichdi and the potato salad, in particular, come together without a whole lot of fussing or prep.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:48 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
I've been doing a really really rote set of meals during lockdown. I eat the same breakfast - yogurt and granola - and the same lunch - lettuce, cheese, seeds, and some crackers and hummus - every single week day. They are easy to throw together and they've become habits. I usually have some other nuts, fruit, popcorn, or chips at home to snack on between meals. I eat the same thing at the same time and there is no choice or question, that's just what I eat.
Dinners, I do whatever I feel like. Maybe it's takeout, maybe it's cooking pasta and throwing some cheese on it, maybe it is hummus and chips again, maybe it is a candy bar from the convenience store across the street. Maybe it is something more interesting but still pretty easy? When I grocery shop, I try to get ingredients for one interesting thing that will have leftovers for a few days (my big successes in this regard have been this sweet potato and black bean salad , this farro and leek salad, and this really easy khichdi (rice and lentils)). They are tasty and comforting and reasonably healthy. The khichdi and the potato salad, in particular, come together without a whole lot of fussing or prep.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:48 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
A couple of thoughts:
-Most importantly, people don’t really care how you look. Those photos you can’t bear to look at? Your friends are just happy you’re there. They are glad you were able to hang out and have fun with them. They’re not worried about what you look like. Some of them might even be going through the same thing. Focusing on that won’t solve the problem, but it’s good to remind yourself of it.
-When Soylent first game out and everyone was making fun of it, I read an article from someone with an eating disorder that it was tremendously helpful for them, because it alleviated the decision fatigue you’re talking about. They no longer had to worry about where or what to eat, and whether the food would be healthy. They just drank a Soylent. Yours seems like a similar use case and might be worth a try.
-Likewise, a meal service isn’t a horrible idea. Let someone else do the planning for you.
-A lot of people recommend throwing away junk food as part of the lifestyle change when you start eating healthier. The idea is that you can’t reach for junk if you don’t have it in the house. Conversely, if all you have in the house is healthy stuff, that’s what you’ll reach for.
-If you build a stockpile of healthy meals, either from meal services or prepared foods from the store, and you just don’t have the mental energy to decide which of them you want for any particular meal, it would be trivially easy to build a little web app to tell you which you should make. Like, you would say you have a Caesar salad, a turkey sandwich, a burrito, and some salmon; you’d press a button on the page and it would say “eat the turkey sandwich”. I’d be happy to make it for you if you’re interested.
-This one may or may not be helpful, but if cooking isn’t working for you as a means of feeding yourself, would it work as an intellectual activity instead? It does for me, which is why I’m suggesting it, but I know not everyone feels the same. Anyway, I cook to eat, but I also cook to learn. Maybe there’s a dish that’s on my mind, or an ingredient that I’ve never worked with before. It’s like a puzzle to me: can I make this? There are times when I cook with no real intention of eating the output. I made some caramelized cabbage the other day because I saw a YouTube video about it, took one bite, and put it in the fridge. Maybe I’ll eat it again, maybe not. But now I know that you can caramelize cabbage just like you can onions, and that it tastes reasonably good. Down the road, I’ll be meal planning and think that caramelized cabbage might be a good side for a particular dish. I think that part of cooking is fun. You might not, but reframing it that way at least might make it easier for you.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:58 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
-Most importantly, people don’t really care how you look. Those photos you can’t bear to look at? Your friends are just happy you’re there. They are glad you were able to hang out and have fun with them. They’re not worried about what you look like. Some of them might even be going through the same thing. Focusing on that won’t solve the problem, but it’s good to remind yourself of it.
-When Soylent first game out and everyone was making fun of it, I read an article from someone with an eating disorder that it was tremendously helpful for them, because it alleviated the decision fatigue you’re talking about. They no longer had to worry about where or what to eat, and whether the food would be healthy. They just drank a Soylent. Yours seems like a similar use case and might be worth a try.
-Likewise, a meal service isn’t a horrible idea. Let someone else do the planning for you.
-A lot of people recommend throwing away junk food as part of the lifestyle change when you start eating healthier. The idea is that you can’t reach for junk if you don’t have it in the house. Conversely, if all you have in the house is healthy stuff, that’s what you’ll reach for.
-If you build a stockpile of healthy meals, either from meal services or prepared foods from the store, and you just don’t have the mental energy to decide which of them you want for any particular meal, it would be trivially easy to build a little web app to tell you which you should make. Like, you would say you have a Caesar salad, a turkey sandwich, a burrito, and some salmon; you’d press a button on the page and it would say “eat the turkey sandwich”. I’d be happy to make it for you if you’re interested.
-This one may or may not be helpful, but if cooking isn’t working for you as a means of feeding yourself, would it work as an intellectual activity instead? It does for me, which is why I’m suggesting it, but I know not everyone feels the same. Anyway, I cook to eat, but I also cook to learn. Maybe there’s a dish that’s on my mind, or an ingredient that I’ve never worked with before. It’s like a puzzle to me: can I make this? There are times when I cook with no real intention of eating the output. I made some caramelized cabbage the other day because I saw a YouTube video about it, took one bite, and put it in the fridge. Maybe I’ll eat it again, maybe not. But now I know that you can caramelize cabbage just like you can onions, and that it tastes reasonably good. Down the road, I’ll be meal planning and think that caramelized cabbage might be a good side for a particular dish. I think that part of cooking is fun. You might not, but reframing it that way at least might make it easier for you.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:58 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
I can empathize completely. I am suffering mentally and was in a major rut this year because of Covid and have gained weight. Millions are likely in the same boat.
Cooking feels like a bridge too far for me right now, the idea of prepping and cooking and cleaning up and putting things away just to feed one person makes me want to curl up and weep. My friends urge me to batch cook on Sundays, but that is just laughable. I am not capable.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to cook. You can accept that you don't want to cook right now and choose other ways to eat healthy food.
I will still be bold and say you are capable to cook. You may not want to, but you're likely capable. Investigate why you are having a mental block surrounding cooking and eating healthfully at night. Your "why nots" can empower because once you identify your excuses and feelings of incapibility you can counter them with reason and productive action.
I understand your feelings on batch cooking. It's not everyone's cup of tea. However, think about the time it would take to throw a baked potato in the microwave and cook a steak or a piece of chicken in a skillet. It doesn't have to be laborious and you don't have to chop a single vegetable. I like microwave frozen vegetables and I'm a fan of bagged salads. One of my favorite snacks is a whole apple with a spoon of peanut butter.
Once you identify your excuses and counter them with reason, you can clarify what you really want. Goals are important if you truly want change. Think about adding and subtracting. Subtract fast-food. Add in a walk or more fresh fruit. It is something concrete that you can identify and work toward without having some general desire or amorphous thought of wanting to be healthy. Because we all want to be healthy (or look good or feel or live a certain way). Unless we identify what needs to be done and how we want to live and then take conscientious steps to get there (with some sort of plan) we will continue to live in inaction. We can live in despair and resignation that is completely unnecessary because most are not helpless. There is probably a lot of mental toughness and resilience that you can identify in yourself.
Most can take responsibility for their health. Things happen beyond our control but a lot is in our control. I understand how some will dislike the phrasing of "taking responsibility for your life" because it can feel judgmental nowadays when we believe we are victims of society, or victims of our past. It feels like we shouldn't put "pressure" on ourselves in "these times" but our life and our health is our responsibility and if we don't feel comfortable and if we want change, it doesn't have to be framed as pressure or some sort of expectation to society or drudgery.
With that being said I know from experience that emotional eating can be a long engrained coping behavior, and it might take professional help or a lot of education and awareness to change. There are tons of resources. Personally I cannot recommend Geneen Roth (at least her old stuff) because she never clicked with me but YMMV. I believe change is possible with practice and mindfulness. Take it slow and have self-compassion and surround yourself with stuff that inspires you and motivates you and know that you are capable to make small changes one day at a time.
posted by loveandhappiness at 6:03 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
Cooking feels like a bridge too far for me right now, the idea of prepping and cooking and cleaning up and putting things away just to feed one person makes me want to curl up and weep. My friends urge me to batch cook on Sundays, but that is just laughable. I am not capable.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to cook. You can accept that you don't want to cook right now and choose other ways to eat healthy food.
I will still be bold and say you are capable to cook. You may not want to, but you're likely capable. Investigate why you are having a mental block surrounding cooking and eating healthfully at night. Your "why nots" can empower because once you identify your excuses and feelings of incapibility you can counter them with reason and productive action.
I understand your feelings on batch cooking. It's not everyone's cup of tea. However, think about the time it would take to throw a baked potato in the microwave and cook a steak or a piece of chicken in a skillet. It doesn't have to be laborious and you don't have to chop a single vegetable. I like microwave frozen vegetables and I'm a fan of bagged salads. One of my favorite snacks is a whole apple with a spoon of peanut butter.
Once you identify your excuses and counter them with reason, you can clarify what you really want. Goals are important if you truly want change. Think about adding and subtracting. Subtract fast-food. Add in a walk or more fresh fruit. It is something concrete that you can identify and work toward without having some general desire or amorphous thought of wanting to be healthy. Because we all want to be healthy (or look good or feel or live a certain way). Unless we identify what needs to be done and how we want to live and then take conscientious steps to get there (with some sort of plan) we will continue to live in inaction. We can live in despair and resignation that is completely unnecessary because most are not helpless. There is probably a lot of mental toughness and resilience that you can identify in yourself.
Most can take responsibility for their health. Things happen beyond our control but a lot is in our control. I understand how some will dislike the phrasing of "taking responsibility for your life" because it can feel judgmental nowadays when we believe we are victims of society, or victims of our past. It feels like we shouldn't put "pressure" on ourselves in "these times" but our life and our health is our responsibility and if we don't feel comfortable and if we want change, it doesn't have to be framed as pressure or some sort of expectation to society or drudgery.
With that being said I know from experience that emotional eating can be a long engrained coping behavior, and it might take professional help or a lot of education and awareness to change. There are tons of resources. Personally I cannot recommend Geneen Roth (at least her old stuff) because she never clicked with me but YMMV. I believe change is possible with practice and mindfulness. Take it slow and have self-compassion and surround yourself with stuff that inspires you and motivates you and know that you are capable to make small changes one day at a time.
posted by loveandhappiness at 6:03 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
I’m having a lot of if not most of the same issues right now with food, self-image, and (barriers to) exercise and activity. It sounds to me like you’re doing the best you can. Letting yourself off the hook right now, during a pandemic, with protein shakes and other appealing low-effort healthier foods, sounds like a great course of action.
I can’t vouch for this but after seeing it recommended elsewhere on MeFi I’m signing up for Sun Basket’s readymade prepared meal delivery service. I will never meal prep or batch cook and even grocery shopping is impossible for me right now so this seems worth a shot!
posted by stellaluna at 6:04 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
I can’t vouch for this but after seeing it recommended elsewhere on MeFi I’m signing up for Sun Basket’s readymade prepared meal delivery service. I will never meal prep or batch cook and even grocery shopping is impossible for me right now so this seems worth a shot!
posted by stellaluna at 6:04 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
I had a similar issue. I enjoy batch cooking but in between the time I realised I need to do something and having the energy to do it I got protein shakes, bars, snacks I enjoy and can combo into a meal. I put two slices of bread in packs in my freezer since I won't go through a loaf, sliced cheese, frozen veggies to mix with packet sauce of some kind, or frozen meals. It makes the shift easier, so I could get back into batch cooking.
It's difficult. You're doing a good job on activity - I strongly recommend making sure you have an easy breakfast go to at least. Hell order an enormous takeout order and freeze some of it. Weird freezer burritos, egg muffins, normal muffins, whatever might keep you eating in the morning. I find it's the morning I struggle to eat and if I don't I have a crappy day. So I have toast and cheese, or eggs on a good day, or a protein shake on a crappy one.
posted by geek anachronism at 6:35 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
It's difficult. You're doing a good job on activity - I strongly recommend making sure you have an easy breakfast go to at least. Hell order an enormous takeout order and freeze some of it. Weird freezer burritos, egg muffins, normal muffins, whatever might keep you eating in the morning. I find it's the morning I struggle to eat and if I don't I have a crappy day. So I have toast and cheese, or eggs on a good day, or a protein shake on a crappy one.
posted by geek anachronism at 6:35 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
The most important thing when it comes to discipline is to take away the opportunities to make bad choices. The biggest step I took was to just not have any unhealthy food at home. I'm the type that when I have any snacks, ice cream, anything unhealthy at home I would just devour them unconsciously. Not having anything unhealthy at home took away my choices and I'm left with no choice but to just eat whatever I have at home. After a short while I just got used to eating cleaner because that was my only option.
posted by willy_dilly at 6:45 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by willy_dilly at 6:45 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
I don't see anyone suggesting the two things that are getting me through: protein shakes (I use a weight loss oriented brand that gives me lots of volume for a moderate number of calories) and frozen dinners. Single portion, microwavable frozen dinners, usually pick ones that are 300 calories or less - sometimes a little higher. Add in bagged salads for lunch, pretzels and 100 calorie popcorn for snack and I'm good. Add in fresh fruit it works (not for me right now - sits on the counter and goes bad but apples and bananas have been good for me at other times)
One thing that will really, really help is not to let yourself get ravenously hungry. Even if you aren't that hungry in the morning, having a protein shake or smoothy or hard boiled egg some time before noon is a good idea to help your body function better. Having some more simple food (another shake or a bagged salad) by mid afternoon and then you'll have a good appetite at dinner without being so ravenous that you make poor choices.
posted by metahawk at 7:06 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
One thing that will really, really help is not to let yourself get ravenously hungry. Even if you aren't that hungry in the morning, having a protein shake or smoothy or hard boiled egg some time before noon is a good idea to help your body function better. Having some more simple food (another shake or a bagged salad) by mid afternoon and then you'll have a good appetite at dinner without being so ravenous that you make poor choices.
posted by metahawk at 7:06 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
Some things that worked for me:
- Put a postit over your face during group chats. It's see through enough that you can tell that you're in frame, but stops the "omg look at that second chin" distraction.
- Intermittent fasting. This absolutely may not work for you, but I don't get hungry in the morning, and my life got much easier when I just stopped eating breakfast. I have a milky coffee at morning tea, but two meals a day is waaaaay easier for me to deal with than three. If you are hungry at the normal meal times, try to make one or two of them brainless. Eat the same thing so you don't have to make a decision.
- Have some fall back meals that you always like. I will eat toasted cheese sandwiches or pan fried dumplings with relish pretty much every-time. I just never seem to get sick of them. So I always have cheese, bread, and frozen dumplings in the house. The frozen dumplings are newish - my obsession with them may change - it used to be individual chicken pies and potato gems in the oven.
- Add vegetables and walks. I have very little expectation that I will stop eating sugar during a pandemic, but I can walk the 15 minutes to the supermarket to buy it. And I add a salad or some stirfry vegetables or some "soaked in boiling water till a bit cooked" broccoli to almost every meal I make at home. Or I just eat a carrot waiting for my cheese to melt. Both walking and vegetables are incontrovertably good for me, even if the rest of my eating is a disaster. If you're somewhere with a super strict lockdown, walking may not be on option. Hopefully it is, as getting outside is also good for most people. We were also legally allowed to walk outside with one other person during lockdown, so it was a good way to catch up with friends.
- Buy takeaway no more than once every second day. I was still being paid when I was WFH, but I was saving $50/week on petrol, not to mention all the eating out I was doing pre-pandemic, so I could afford to get takeaway quite often. I could barely remember what day it was, but I could generally remember what I'd eaten the day before.
I'm actually having more issues now I'm back at work. God I hate commuting.
posted by kjs4 at 7:48 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
- Put a postit over your face during group chats. It's see through enough that you can tell that you're in frame, but stops the "omg look at that second chin" distraction.
- Intermittent fasting. This absolutely may not work for you, but I don't get hungry in the morning, and my life got much easier when I just stopped eating breakfast. I have a milky coffee at morning tea, but two meals a day is waaaaay easier for me to deal with than three. If you are hungry at the normal meal times, try to make one or two of them brainless. Eat the same thing so you don't have to make a decision.
- Have some fall back meals that you always like. I will eat toasted cheese sandwiches or pan fried dumplings with relish pretty much every-time. I just never seem to get sick of them. So I always have cheese, bread, and frozen dumplings in the house. The frozen dumplings are newish - my obsession with them may change - it used to be individual chicken pies and potato gems in the oven.
- Add vegetables and walks. I have very little expectation that I will stop eating sugar during a pandemic, but I can walk the 15 minutes to the supermarket to buy it. And I add a salad or some stirfry vegetables or some "soaked in boiling water till a bit cooked" broccoli to almost every meal I make at home. Or I just eat a carrot waiting for my cheese to melt. Both walking and vegetables are incontrovertably good for me, even if the rest of my eating is a disaster. If you're somewhere with a super strict lockdown, walking may not be on option. Hopefully it is, as getting outside is also good for most people. We were also legally allowed to walk outside with one other person during lockdown, so it was a good way to catch up with friends.
- Buy takeaway no more than once every second day. I was still being paid when I was WFH, but I was saving $50/week on petrol, not to mention all the eating out I was doing pre-pandemic, so I could afford to get takeaway quite often. I could barely remember what day it was, but I could generally remember what I'd eaten the day before.
I'm actually having more issues now I'm back at work. God I hate commuting.
posted by kjs4 at 7:48 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
Soylent seems like a great option for you. Ignore the stupid name and the techy reputation—they're just protein shakes that are explicitly trying to replace meals. They don't taste that bad, you can make it from a powder or just buy bottles, and they've got a bunch of flavors. Start out replacing as many meals as you need with it, and then if you find yourself with more energy to cook, or interest in it, you can start subbing cooking (or takeout for that matter) back in.
posted by Polycarp at 7:52 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Polycarp at 7:52 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
I have had a lot of these struggles and they definitely got worse during the start of the lockdown. Things are going a bit better now and I feel more in control. What's helped me during this lockdown: developing my own version of interval training to do at home after things got waaaay bad, fitness-wise. I started with things like 90 seconds on a ski machine (subsitute marching in place or jumping jacks if preferable) and 90 seconds of squats and dumbbell exercises and am now up to 27-30 minutes total of 4 different stations on a good day. I text one of my friends on the days I manage a workout to brag and get a boost from her enthusiastic response everytime. For whatever reason doing my own intervals has been easier to stick to than the videos online. Memail me if you want some suggestions.
For eating: I also cannot ever do the batch cooking thing. What I can do is order some reasonably healthy takeout and portion it into smaller batches to eat through the week--just putting it into smaller pyrex containers. The other life saver from the grocery store: bagged salads, as mentioned above, frozen veggies, and a huge bag of frozen grilled chicken strips. I nuke a handful of chicken strips and toss them into the salad or into the veggies I nuke and boom, a filling and healthy dinner that takes 3-8 minutes to microwave and zero advanced planning after my trip to the grocery store/grocery order. If you're vegetarian can you add some nuts, maybe, to the veggies? I used to dump trail mix over bagged salads to make them "fancy" for parties and people always loved it.
Good luck, OP. Don't be too hard on yourself.
posted by TwoStride at 7:52 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
For eating: I also cannot ever do the batch cooking thing. What I can do is order some reasonably healthy takeout and portion it into smaller batches to eat through the week--just putting it into smaller pyrex containers. The other life saver from the grocery store: bagged salads, as mentioned above, frozen veggies, and a huge bag of frozen grilled chicken strips. I nuke a handful of chicken strips and toss them into the salad or into the veggies I nuke and boom, a filling and healthy dinner that takes 3-8 minutes to microwave and zero advanced planning after my trip to the grocery store/grocery order. If you're vegetarian can you add some nuts, maybe, to the veggies? I used to dump trail mix over bagged salads to make them "fancy" for parties and people always loved it.
Good luck, OP. Don't be too hard on yourself.
posted by TwoStride at 7:52 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
First of all, you're not alone. Eating issues have really flared for a lot of people right now. It's a very stressful time all around and food is comforting. And, because our culture is so toxic, there's so much body/weight anxiety all over the internet and on the tips of people's tongues. It's exhausting in the worst way when things are already horribly exhausting. Many healthy routines have gone right out the window.
Practically, though, I think protein shakes are a GREAT idea and many people with disordered eating are helped by foods like this. It's an automatic food that can be scheduled and repeated and requires no prep or the related decision/action paralysis/anxiety spiral. If you can integrate automatic foods like pre-prepared shakes and meal boxes (not the kind you cook yourself, but like a lunchable or those protein snack things that are a container of nuts and cut cheese cubes) it could help a lot. Set some phone alarms to remind you to have one. 9am: go get a delicious shake! 12pm: time to grab a snack box! That way, you're fueling your body during the day before you get ravenous and it doesn't take much mental energy to get some food in. Routines like this can be really comforting. Throw in some gummy vitamins if you have the bandwidth.
Then, order something for dinner if you can't fathom cooking. Yes, it's an extra expense, but if you can afford it, it's not a bad idea and can help with prep paralysis. Allow yourself to do this for a few weeks in a row and see where you end up. Other easy foods that I use when I can't think about eating are yogurts, single serving hummus or guacamole cups, and nuts. Then there's a stepwise movement you can make to add things that are easy to eat and pre-prepped/frozen. Don't try to be perfectly on track immediately. Just add one thing at a time and get it integrated. Start with shakes. Get that under your belt and then add another thing to your routine.
One thing that helps me when I'm making a change is figuring out a prize or prizes that I give myself when I've reached benchmarks. Changes aren't easy to make and it's nice to build in a reward so that you can take a moment to recognize your efforts. They can be big and small, but they do have to be an indulgence that I wouldn't normally get myself.
posted by quince at 9:37 PM on August 18, 2020
Practically, though, I think protein shakes are a GREAT idea and many people with disordered eating are helped by foods like this. It's an automatic food that can be scheduled and repeated and requires no prep or the related decision/action paralysis/anxiety spiral. If you can integrate automatic foods like pre-prepared shakes and meal boxes (not the kind you cook yourself, but like a lunchable or those protein snack things that are a container of nuts and cut cheese cubes) it could help a lot. Set some phone alarms to remind you to have one. 9am: go get a delicious shake! 12pm: time to grab a snack box! That way, you're fueling your body during the day before you get ravenous and it doesn't take much mental energy to get some food in. Routines like this can be really comforting. Throw in some gummy vitamins if you have the bandwidth.
Then, order something for dinner if you can't fathom cooking. Yes, it's an extra expense, but if you can afford it, it's not a bad idea and can help with prep paralysis. Allow yourself to do this for a few weeks in a row and see where you end up. Other easy foods that I use when I can't think about eating are yogurts, single serving hummus or guacamole cups, and nuts. Then there's a stepwise movement you can make to add things that are easy to eat and pre-prepped/frozen. Don't try to be perfectly on track immediately. Just add one thing at a time and get it integrated. Start with shakes. Get that under your belt and then add another thing to your routine.
One thing that helps me when I'm making a change is figuring out a prize or prizes that I give myself when I've reached benchmarks. Changes aren't easy to make and it's nice to build in a reward so that you can take a moment to recognize your efforts. They can be big and small, but they do have to be an indulgence that I wouldn't normally get myself.
posted by quince at 9:37 PM on August 18, 2020
Today I was listening a podcast called Stuff you Should Know about why people overeat and why weight loss diets are difficult to maintain (an episode called the Anti Diet, I think). It does seem your over eating has an emotional component to it. I would start with analyzing what's going on inside. It's crazy times right now. I don't know anyone who's not struggling. You say you feel bad about your looks, which I'm sorry to hear about. I would recommend therapy or using a workbook or journaling to get those things out, get guidance, resolution, etc. I also recommend that podcast. It taught me a lot.
posted by DixieBaby at 10:00 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by DixieBaby at 10:00 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
For me w/ a previous eating disorder, I keep some ensure on hand for the times I just can't think but need something. Its not ideal, but it's not junk food either. And it generally helps me think alittle bit clearer so I can get something together.
We also use hello fresh, which all the ingredients are delivered in a bag for prep and cook. I like the food, and it increased my consumption of veggies and is generally easy but doesn't require all the forethought of shopping and getting stuff together.
In general I try to not buy lots of sweets at once. I can have them, I'm not dieting, but I don't purchase alot of that stuff which cuts down on the impulsive eating thing. And if I feel up to getting the thing from the grocery store because I really want it, I will. But, for the times I just want something I keep other things around to eat instead. My brain and mood are happier that way, but this really depends on how you feel about how you stock your home. For some people that might feel like dieting. For me, it just feels like shopping for what I need and a couple treats.
posted by AlexiaSky at 10:49 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
We also use hello fresh, which all the ingredients are delivered in a bag for prep and cook. I like the food, and it increased my consumption of veggies and is generally easy but doesn't require all the forethought of shopping and getting stuff together.
In general I try to not buy lots of sweets at once. I can have them, I'm not dieting, but I don't purchase alot of that stuff which cuts down on the impulsive eating thing. And if I feel up to getting the thing from the grocery store because I really want it, I will. But, for the times I just want something I keep other things around to eat instead. My brain and mood are happier that way, but this really depends on how you feel about how you stock your home. For some people that might feel like dieting. For me, it just feels like shopping for what I need and a couple treats.
posted by AlexiaSky at 10:49 PM on August 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
How do you get your groceries these days? I ask because since the pandemic started I've been getting all my groceries delivered once or twice a month, and I stopped ordering any sweet things like the chocolate, ice cream, cookies, cakes, etc. that I'm generally addicted to. It was really hard at first to not have access to any of that and it was an added source of stress over the first two weeks or so. Since then, though, it's gotten much easier and as I've slowly lost a little weight I've started to feel more at home in my body, as you put it, which makes it easier to keep not ordering those foods (and it's a lot easier for me to resist ordering things off a screen than it is to resist buying them in person off a shelf). I do order other things though to deal with the cravings: nut-based energy bars, fruits, freeze-dried or dehydrated fruit slices, plain popcorn, cereal, wasabi peas, etc., and I let myself snack on those. I also have been buying things like instant ramen, which isn't exactly healthy but it feels like a treat and I figure it's better than having ice cream for dinner.
I also have trouble doing most kinds of cooking right now for disability reasons. So I do a few things: I order precooked meals from the supermarket when possible, as well as frozen meals, canned meals, vacuum-sealed meals, add-hot-water-and-serve meals (like ramen), etc. Protein shakes sounds like something along those lines. And I do a kind of cooking which might work for you or it might not. Basically I order a lot of frozen vegetables and legumes, canned goods, and dried lentils, rice, whole grains, etc. I also get a lot of disposable aluminum baking trays and foil. To cook, I put some combination of frozen things and dried things in an aluminum tray, put it in the oven, add enough water to cook the dried things, optionally add spices, cover with foil, put in the oven on high and collect an hour or so later. (If when I check an hour later it turns out I didn't add enough water, I just add some more. And if I put in too much water then I'll just add some couscous or lentils or something to soak it up. It doesn't really matter, and I have low standards.) To batch cook (sorry...), I just do a bunch of trays at once since my oven can fit quite a few. When I want to eat I add olive oil and spices, or some sauce or other seasoning, or just some salt and pepper, and maybe some canned beans or cheese or other things as I feel like it. The whole thing can literally take maybe 10 minutes of active effort for a week's worth of food, which is pretty good, and there's no dishes to do because of the disposable trays. (When I'm not up to doing dishes, which is often, I also use disposable bowls/plates/cutlery, which isn't great but sometimes you have to cut yourself slack.)
Other low-effort but healthy things: putting frozen veggies on foil and sticking them in the oven to roast, wrapping whole sweet potatoes or regular potatoes in foil and letting them cook by themselves in the oven, microwaving frozen veggies and eating them with some flavorful sauce and canned beans, etc.
The tray stuff might sound weird (it's not the best of all possible ways to cook legumes and grains, for one thing) but it's really helped me eat well during times when I just can't deal with cooking or cleaning. It works for me since I eat vegetarian, like legumes and dal-type dishes, and dumping things into a tray is doable for me, but ymmv.
I have recently started ordering one takeout meal a week for variety. Maybe setting up a takeout schedule for yourself would help remove the decision stress for you.
posted by trig at 11:30 PM on August 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
I also have trouble doing most kinds of cooking right now for disability reasons. So I do a few things: I order precooked meals from the supermarket when possible, as well as frozen meals, canned meals, vacuum-sealed meals, add-hot-water-and-serve meals (like ramen), etc. Protein shakes sounds like something along those lines. And I do a kind of cooking which might work for you or it might not. Basically I order a lot of frozen vegetables and legumes, canned goods, and dried lentils, rice, whole grains, etc. I also get a lot of disposable aluminum baking trays and foil. To cook, I put some combination of frozen things and dried things in an aluminum tray, put it in the oven, add enough water to cook the dried things, optionally add spices, cover with foil, put in the oven on high and collect an hour or so later. (If when I check an hour later it turns out I didn't add enough water, I just add some more. And if I put in too much water then I'll just add some couscous or lentils or something to soak it up. It doesn't really matter, and I have low standards.) To batch cook (sorry...), I just do a bunch of trays at once since my oven can fit quite a few. When I want to eat I add olive oil and spices, or some sauce or other seasoning, or just some salt and pepper, and maybe some canned beans or cheese or other things as I feel like it. The whole thing can literally take maybe 10 minutes of active effort for a week's worth of food, which is pretty good, and there's no dishes to do because of the disposable trays. (When I'm not up to doing dishes, which is often, I also use disposable bowls/plates/cutlery, which isn't great but sometimes you have to cut yourself slack.)
Other low-effort but healthy things: putting frozen veggies on foil and sticking them in the oven to roast, wrapping whole sweet potatoes or regular potatoes in foil and letting them cook by themselves in the oven, microwaving frozen veggies and eating them with some flavorful sauce and canned beans, etc.
The tray stuff might sound weird (it's not the best of all possible ways to cook legumes and grains, for one thing) but it's really helped me eat well during times when I just can't deal with cooking or cleaning. It works for me since I eat vegetarian, like legumes and dal-type dishes, and dumping things into a tray is doable for me, but ymmv.
I have recently started ordering one takeout meal a week for variety. Maybe setting up a takeout schedule for yourself would help remove the decision stress for you.
posted by trig at 11:30 PM on August 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
I just learned that Vyvance can be prescribed for binge eating disorder. I'm not sure if what you're describing fits that, exactly, but it would certainly give you more focus at work and more energy to exercise.
posted by ananci at 11:33 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by ananci at 11:33 PM on August 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
On an exercise note: I'm not able to do much any more, but I always found that doing muscle-building exercises (really basic stuff, I've never been much of an exerciser) helped me have good feelings about my body within a few days - more so than aerobic exercise, which took longer to feel results. Not that there would be much in the way of visible difference - but even without that my body would start feeling a little more capable, which helped me connect to it more.
posted by trig at 11:39 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by trig at 11:39 PM on August 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
I can relate on so many levels. And when I was reflecting on why feeding myself well seems to be such a chore it came down to a few themes that mostly boil down to - it takes time to eat well. And time is much more elusive these days. So you either have to pay for somebody to spend the time, which is what you do if you eat out, or you have to spend the time yourself. There are ways you can set yourself up for success here and ways you can set yourself up for failure. And different things work for different people.
For me, the problem is not shopping for healthy food, it is also not eating healthy food that is ready to be eaten. My problem is taking the food I buy and turning it into prepped ingredients I can either assemble and eat or toss in a one pot meal. So ways to overcome that include scheduling a bit of time to turn shopping into ingredients you can grab and turn into a plate of food with ease. Ideally, spending that time immediately after shopping or else on a Sunday afternoon to set myself up for the week ahead. If that doesn’t happen the week will be less healthy.
In addition, you can minimise the time you spend on prep by paying extra for the produce that is washed and chopped and ready to go. I have spent time studying the nutritional profiles of hummus in my supermarket and one is pretty low fat and yummy. I now buy that every time I shop, together with some veg ready for dipping. I am talking about snack packs of veg. Is that an economical way of getting hummus and veg, no. It would be much cheaper to buy the chickpeas and make hummus and prep some veg for dipping. But experience has shown that that’s not going to happen... So I avail myself of all the prepped produce, I buy the hard boiled picnic eggs, I use the salad bar and the salad mixes because doing that makes it much more likely that the things I buy get eaten as opposed to spoiling.
It also helps to reconsider what constitutes a meal. Last week several of my meals consisted of plate of assorted things I pulled out of the fridge. Things like a hand full of cherries or a peach, a slice of toast with egg salad made from the ready boiled picnic eggs, a slice of cheddar, some hummus and a hand full of veg for dipping, a few cherry tomatoes, a slice of cold meat or a few lumps of grilled chicken...basically, I stood in front of the fridge and pulled stuff out and assembled it on a plate. Making egg salad out of the eggs was extravagant, I could have just had the eggs but I fancied egg salad...prep time approximately zero, cleanup is limited to a plate, knife and fork although one reason I enjoyed these plates is that they are basically finger food.
So my suggestion would be to figure out where the chain of wanting to eat well > shopping > [prepping >] (cooking >) eating breaks down for you. And then you can figure out how to overcome that step in the process. If you’re that way inclined you can absolutely eat well without prepping and cooking if you can get to the point where it feels ok to spend money on prepped things. And don’t let perfection or pre conceived ideas of what constitutes a meal get in the way of feeding yourself. A peach and a slice of cheese go a long way and require no prep or cleanup. As does a tub of hummus or yogurt and some veg. This may not be what my parents would consider a meal but who cares. If your day consists of a series of healthyish snacks that’s ok. Try to always have some protein for satiety and do what works.
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:53 AM on August 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
For me, the problem is not shopping for healthy food, it is also not eating healthy food that is ready to be eaten. My problem is taking the food I buy and turning it into prepped ingredients I can either assemble and eat or toss in a one pot meal. So ways to overcome that include scheduling a bit of time to turn shopping into ingredients you can grab and turn into a plate of food with ease. Ideally, spending that time immediately after shopping or else on a Sunday afternoon to set myself up for the week ahead. If that doesn’t happen the week will be less healthy.
In addition, you can minimise the time you spend on prep by paying extra for the produce that is washed and chopped and ready to go. I have spent time studying the nutritional profiles of hummus in my supermarket and one is pretty low fat and yummy. I now buy that every time I shop, together with some veg ready for dipping. I am talking about snack packs of veg. Is that an economical way of getting hummus and veg, no. It would be much cheaper to buy the chickpeas and make hummus and prep some veg for dipping. But experience has shown that that’s not going to happen... So I avail myself of all the prepped produce, I buy the hard boiled picnic eggs, I use the salad bar and the salad mixes because doing that makes it much more likely that the things I buy get eaten as opposed to spoiling.
It also helps to reconsider what constitutes a meal. Last week several of my meals consisted of plate of assorted things I pulled out of the fridge. Things like a hand full of cherries or a peach, a slice of toast with egg salad made from the ready boiled picnic eggs, a slice of cheddar, some hummus and a hand full of veg for dipping, a few cherry tomatoes, a slice of cold meat or a few lumps of grilled chicken...basically, I stood in front of the fridge and pulled stuff out and assembled it on a plate. Making egg salad out of the eggs was extravagant, I could have just had the eggs but I fancied egg salad...prep time approximately zero, cleanup is limited to a plate, knife and fork although one reason I enjoyed these plates is that they are basically finger food.
So my suggestion would be to figure out where the chain of wanting to eat well > shopping > [prepping >] (cooking >) eating breaks down for you. And then you can figure out how to overcome that step in the process. If you’re that way inclined you can absolutely eat well without prepping and cooking if you can get to the point where it feels ok to spend money on prepped things. And don’t let perfection or pre conceived ideas of what constitutes a meal get in the way of feeding yourself. A peach and a slice of cheese go a long way and require no prep or cleanup. As does a tub of hummus or yogurt and some veg. This may not be what my parents would consider a meal but who cares. If your day consists of a series of healthyish snacks that’s ok. Try to always have some protein for satiety and do what works.
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:53 AM on August 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
I can relate. I have never been diagnosed with an ED but have had traits of one during COVID-19. I have been doing a lot of emotional eating, buying more junk, had less motivation to cook, gained weight, etc.
I see that you are doing 2-3 zoom exercise classes a week. Is it possible to incorporate more movement? Maybe use Pomodoro for your work schedule and use the break times to do some calisthenics or a brief walk around the neighborhood? If thinking about and modifying your relationship with food seems insurmountable then changing your movement patterns might feel easier?
I bought a treadmill to go under my desk for my WFH office. I will be using it to walk at a slow pace to make up for being on my butt more of the day, and walking helps me concentrate on dreadfully boring conference calls. There's also this thing you can mount under the desk that looks a little like a pogo stick that would help you fidget and burn a few more calories while seated.
On the eating side, have you considered something like NOOM or trying to find a therapist in network with your insurance who can help you deal with these fraught emotions around food? Would that feel helpful?
How I have solved a similar food related dilemma:
Meal kits.
Buying fairly healthy no prep foods like string cheese, single serve yogurt, protein packs of cheese/nuts/dried fruit, tuna salad individual serving kits, smoked salmon to add to crackers and cream cheese, bagged salad, frozen cooked shrimp which is quick to thaw and add to my food, rotisserie chicken, bags of frozen steam in bag veggies, and healthier substitutions for junk. So, I have some sugar free chocolate pudding. It doesn't taste as good as the real stuff so I'm not eating as much. I froze some regular greek yogurt with maple syrup to eat when I want ice cream. I got Lily's chocolate chips and make little mug cakes occasionally. It requires effort, which means I am not eating a ton of them. I went on Amazon and found healthier versions of savory snacks. For me this is sweet potato chips, these sorghum probiotic cheese puffs, kale chips, etc.
posted by crunchy potato at 7:23 AM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I see that you are doing 2-3 zoom exercise classes a week. Is it possible to incorporate more movement? Maybe use Pomodoro for your work schedule and use the break times to do some calisthenics or a brief walk around the neighborhood? If thinking about and modifying your relationship with food seems insurmountable then changing your movement patterns might feel easier?
I bought a treadmill to go under my desk for my WFH office. I will be using it to walk at a slow pace to make up for being on my butt more of the day, and walking helps me concentrate on dreadfully boring conference calls. There's also this thing you can mount under the desk that looks a little like a pogo stick that would help you fidget and burn a few more calories while seated.
On the eating side, have you considered something like NOOM or trying to find a therapist in network with your insurance who can help you deal with these fraught emotions around food? Would that feel helpful?
How I have solved a similar food related dilemma:
Meal kits.
Buying fairly healthy no prep foods like string cheese, single serve yogurt, protein packs of cheese/nuts/dried fruit, tuna salad individual serving kits, smoked salmon to add to crackers and cream cheese, bagged salad, frozen cooked shrimp which is quick to thaw and add to my food, rotisserie chicken, bags of frozen steam in bag veggies, and healthier substitutions for junk. So, I have some sugar free chocolate pudding. It doesn't taste as good as the real stuff so I'm not eating as much. I froze some regular greek yogurt with maple syrup to eat when I want ice cream. I got Lily's chocolate chips and make little mug cakes occasionally. It requires effort, which means I am not eating a ton of them. I went on Amazon and found healthier versions of savory snacks. For me this is sweet potato chips, these sorghum probiotic cheese puffs, kale chips, etc.
posted by crunchy potato at 7:23 AM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
First of all, I sympathize. So many of us are having trouble with food and eating "in these strange times". I wouldn't necessarily have predicted it, but it's been corroborated from all corners of my social sphere and is definitely a major stress factor in my own home lately.
So much good advice has been offered above, but I just wanted to chime in to say that, for me, the prospect of "assembling" as opposed to "cooking"--in other words, no heat--has been much less daunting and has often made the difference between me eating something relatively healthy at home versus driving through at a burger joint. I love all the ideas above for salads and plates-o-things and will definitely be cribbing from this thread for new ideas before next week's grocery run.
Good luck! You are not alone.
posted by The Minotaur at 9:50 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
So much good advice has been offered above, but I just wanted to chime in to say that, for me, the prospect of "assembling" as opposed to "cooking"--in other words, no heat--has been much less daunting and has often made the difference between me eating something relatively healthy at home versus driving through at a burger joint. I love all the ideas above for salads and plates-o-things and will definitely be cribbing from this thread for new ideas before next week's grocery run.
Good luck! You are not alone.
posted by The Minotaur at 9:50 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
I co-sign the suggestions to "batch order" aka to increase the size of your order when getting takeout (takeaway) so you can have leftovers as no-decision meals. For example, I get two pizzas, not one, and then have pizza on hand for the next few days. Pizza is easy to add toppings to, so on days I feel a bit more motivated I will fry an egg for breakfast pizza, or if I optimistically bought sprouts or spinach, add some on top for color and fiber. When I get Mexican food, I order an enchilada plate (to eat immediately) and a chicken quesadilla (which reheats beautifully in the toaster oven).
posted by spamandkimchi at 10:40 AM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by spamandkimchi at 10:40 AM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I'm in the UK and we get our groceries delivered once a week. We've just started ordering a lot more snacking fruit and I'm finding this really helpful. Mainly grapes, blueberries and cherries that I can just grab a bowlful of. More snacky / no-prep food that is healthier than takeaway is probably a good aim in general. You don't need to be perfect, it sounds like you mainly want to try and eat a bit better.
Things that might appeal that I know are easy to buy here and you can just eat include plain-ish popcorn, carrot sticks, bread sticks, salad bowls, prepared fruit, bagels, cheese, cold meats, salami, hummus and other dips, pitta bread, cherry tomatoes, crackers, rice cakes, olives, yoghurt, satsumas, bananas. Things that are minimal prep include cheese on toast, beans on toast, scrambled eggs on toast, bacon sandwiches, jacket potatoes (from frozen!), fresh/frozen pizza, cucumber sticks, bell pepper strips, fresh or tinned soup, and of course ready meals.
I've really found that having a bunch of nice stuff available that I can eat immediately without effort means that a takeaway starts to look high effort in comparison.
posted by plonkee at 12:20 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Things that might appeal that I know are easy to buy here and you can just eat include plain-ish popcorn, carrot sticks, bread sticks, salad bowls, prepared fruit, bagels, cheese, cold meats, salami, hummus and other dips, pitta bread, cherry tomatoes, crackers, rice cakes, olives, yoghurt, satsumas, bananas. Things that are minimal prep include cheese on toast, beans on toast, scrambled eggs on toast, bacon sandwiches, jacket potatoes (from frozen!), fresh/frozen pizza, cucumber sticks, bell pepper strips, fresh or tinned soup, and of course ready meals.
I've really found that having a bunch of nice stuff available that I can eat immediately without effort means that a takeaway starts to look high effort in comparison.
posted by plonkee at 12:20 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
I fully endorse the idea of protein shakes. That's what I've been having for breakfast everyday for the last 5 years. I also eat the same thing for lunch, right now, hummus and rice cakes. I don't have the emotional or mental bandwidth to figure out food right now. I'm lucky in that I live with my dad and he cooks dinner, but often times, my picky-ish tastes don't match up with what he's making. In cases like that I have healthy-ish stuff that I can put together to form a meal. I always have string cheese on hand. Fresh ground peanut butter and graham crackers. Frozen veg has been a good friend. Lately I've been eating granola on top of yogurt. For when I want a treat, I've been getting better quality chocolate at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods, trying different flavors (dark chocolate with candied ginger is amazing).
I hear you on the disordered eating stuff. I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm sure there was something going on with me. I've had to unfollow people on FB who kept posting quarantine food memes.
Be gentle with yourself.
posted by kathrynm at 5:27 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I hear you on the disordered eating stuff. I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm sure there was something going on with me. I've had to unfollow people on FB who kept posting quarantine food memes.
Be gentle with yourself.
posted by kathrynm at 5:27 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
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posted by zeusianfog at 3:11 PM on August 18, 2020 [7 favorites]