Why do dogs like me so much?
January 1, 2024 10:04 PM Subscribe
Even strange dogs respond very positively to me, and always have. Why might this be?
I’m talking violently wagging tails, whimpering, rolling on their backs and turning up bellies, licking, jumping up at me, nuzzling me, or if they’re approaching me on a sidewalk, pulling at their leashes to approach… sometimes their owners seem uncomfortable with the affection their dogs are showing me.
I’ll be honest, sometimes I think it means they sense something about me is “good”, which is a vain thought. So what are the scientific explanations for dogs being drawn to some people perhaps more than others?
I’m talking violently wagging tails, whimpering, rolling on their backs and turning up bellies, licking, jumping up at me, nuzzling me, or if they’re approaching me on a sidewalk, pulling at their leashes to approach… sometimes their owners seem uncomfortable with the affection their dogs are showing me.
I’ll be honest, sometimes I think it means they sense something about me is “good”, which is a vain thought. So what are the scientific explanations for dogs being drawn to some people perhaps more than others?
Probably it helps that by chance you don't engage in some of the forms of interaction that humans think are cute or even just normal but canines find off-putting, like direct eye contact.
posted by praemunire at 10:16 PM on January 1 [8 favorites]
posted by praemunire at 10:16 PM on January 1 [8 favorites]
I bet you smell good to them.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:43 PM on January 1 [8 favorites]
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:43 PM on January 1 [8 favorites]
Ted Kaczynski (the Unabomber) was rather notoriously an object of universal hatred by dogs.
He lived in extreme poverty on the margins of the margins of the human world, and I have always suspected he saw dogs as an accessible source of protein, and that dogs could smell that.
If I had to guess what kind of diet would make dogs like a person, I’d go with something along the lines of a lot of red meat from herbivores..
Working in a slaughterhouse, meat packing plant, or butcher shop might have a similar effect.
posted by jamjam at 11:46 PM on January 1
He lived in extreme poverty on the margins of the margins of the human world, and I have always suspected he saw dogs as an accessible source of protein, and that dogs could smell that.
If I had to guess what kind of diet would make dogs like a person, I’d go with something along the lines of a lot of red meat from herbivores..
Working in a slaughterhouse, meat packing plant, or butcher shop might have a similar effect.
posted by jamjam at 11:46 PM on January 1
Do you happen to make a habit of carry small pieces of chicken with you in your pockets?
More seriously - which out an example video of "how to approach a dog - or here. ". Dogs respond best to people who are not nervous of them - but who are also a little - almost disinterested - rather than reaching out to pet the animal on the top of its head they allow the dog to come to them; they appear nonthreatening. Lastly - it helps if you have a rapport with the dog owner: if the owner feels comfortable with you then the dog will too.
posted by rongorongo at 12:28 AM on January 2 [2 favorites]
More seriously - which out an example video of "how to approach a dog - or here. ". Dogs respond best to people who are not nervous of them - but who are also a little - almost disinterested - rather than reaching out to pet the animal on the top of its head they allow the dog to come to them; they appear nonthreatening. Lastly - it helps if you have a rapport with the dog owner: if the owner feels comfortable with you then the dog will too.
posted by rongorongo at 12:28 AM on January 2 [2 favorites]
My son has the same effect on dogs, but nobody else in the family does even though we all love dogs. He's always ready to get down on the ground and play with them, and isn't scared of them. I think he must have some body language that we can't pick up on (I've looked for it) that the dogs can detect, something that indicates "I am friendly, and can give you a great belly rub if you want," so they're going to enthusiastically go to him instead of my calm "here is the back of my hand if you want to give it a sniff before I pet you."
"Friendly confidence," like rainy day girl said.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:14 AM on January 2 [3 favorites]
"Friendly confidence," like rainy day girl said.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:14 AM on January 2 [3 favorites]
You smell good. Dogs rely on that more than we could ever imagine. And that might include "you are a positive person and positive feelings smell good to dogs." I'm quite serious.
posted by tiny frying pan at 5:14 AM on January 2 [12 favorites]
posted by tiny frying pan at 5:14 AM on January 2 [12 favorites]
I'm in the same boat (and objectively confirmed by people telling me their dogs are much more friendly to me than other visitors)--I just chalk it up to I really love dogs to begin with (so I assume they sense that). I don't necessarily think it says anything positive about me as my love for dogs comes from a variety of positive and not so positive history.
posted by Jon44 at 5:39 AM on January 2
posted by Jon44 at 5:39 AM on January 2
Jon44 just took all the words out of my own mouth, 100%. I actually decided I didn't care why dogs seemed to like me because yay dogs I get to say hi to.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:11 AM on January 2 [3 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:11 AM on January 2 [3 favorites]
Some dogs respond this way to folks who they sense have (calm) leadership qualities.
That was the only explanation I could ever come up with for my mother, who didn't like dogs but dogs loved her.
posted by JanetLand at 6:43 AM on January 2 [2 favorites]
That was the only explanation I could ever come up with for my mother, who didn't like dogs but dogs loved her.
posted by JanetLand at 6:43 AM on January 2 [2 favorites]
Dogs can smell many times better than humans. They smell fear, dislike, confidence and all of our hormones and emotion markers very accurately. Dogs have been bred over millennia to live well with humans. When dogs enter a space, they know pretty quickly what the hierarchy is. Like humans, dogs respond to people who are interested in them, friendly, not overly direct. If you've spent time with dogs, you'll have gained some dog language, and they'll like that. Maybe you're also good with boundaries; dogs like structure and discipline, they like to know what the rules are.
My female dog is uneasy with most men until she knows them. If the owners like you, a dog will like you more quickly, so people seem to like you as well. You might be experiencing a little bit of confirmation bias, and that's okay. It's really nice to have easy friendships with dogs.
posted by theora55 at 6:55 AM on January 2 [1 favorite]
My female dog is uneasy with most men until she knows them. If the owners like you, a dog will like you more quickly, so people seem to like you as well. You might be experiencing a little bit of confirmation bias, and that's okay. It's really nice to have easy friendships with dogs.
posted by theora55 at 6:55 AM on January 2 [1 favorite]
It could well be something about body language that's pretty subtle or idiosyncratic. I'm thinking of two friends of mine that my dog loves interacting with. The first loves dogs and gets low and silly with them immediately. But the second is, while not precisely afraid of dogs, prone to automatic "jumpy" reactions that my dog clearly finds very satisfying to provoke/engage with.
On the other hand, another close friend with many many years of dog experience is received much more neutrally by my dog, precisely because friend has very still and calm body language, and doesn't react to sudden dog arrivals by jerking away or darting in. My dog likes her and chooses to sit near her, but doesn't get as excited when she shows up.
posted by heyforfour at 8:50 AM on January 2
On the other hand, another close friend with many many years of dog experience is received much more neutrally by my dog, precisely because friend has very still and calm body language, and doesn't react to sudden dog arrivals by jerking away or darting in. My dog likes her and chooses to sit near her, but doesn't get as excited when she shows up.
posted by heyforfour at 8:50 AM on January 2
Dogs also like me and my father this way, him even more than me. It's caused tension with other people when their dogs like him better than their own owners! I've always assumed this is because we both love dogs and are very familiar with their habits, and whenever a dog responds positively to us we respond positively back.
posted by branca at 9:31 AM on January 2 [1 favorite]
posted by branca at 9:31 AM on January 2 [1 favorite]
Probably body language. "Loose" body language in dogs signals friendly and relaxed. So if someone has shoulders tense, straight up, that's more aggressive. Direct eye contact is aggressive, as is facing them directly, so slightly off centered body language, no direct eye contact, loose body language, and letting dogs come to you - reaching towards a dog can spook them.
Also, just plain enthusiasm. My dog loves all people, but if someone is super excited, he'll amp up too.
Frankly, if you like dogs and respond to them accordingly, most dogs will react with that wiggly happy to see you body language.
posted by litera scripta manet at 9:49 AM on January 2
Also, just plain enthusiasm. My dog loves all people, but if someone is super excited, he'll amp up too.
Frankly, if you like dogs and respond to them accordingly, most dogs will react with that wiggly happy to see you body language.
posted by litera scripta manet at 9:49 AM on January 2
I am allergic to dogs and think they smell terrible. Yet dogs react this way to me too, even though I try to make it clear that they won't be getting any pets from me. It seems to make them more curious as they try to "convince" me that they deserve a back scratch.
So I'm your opposite, yet we have the same effect on dogs. Life is weird.
posted by tacodave at 6:52 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]
So I'm your opposite, yet we have the same effect on dogs. Life is weird.
posted by tacodave at 6:52 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]
Lactating female dogs release something called "Dog Appeasing Pheromone" - also known as apasine - which serves to calm their puppies and establish a parental bond. This has been made synthetically and is used in sprays meant to calm stressed out dogs. Interestingly humans also excrete appeasing pheromones - we also have the same vomeronasal organ that dogs use. Evidence of how much these pheromones make a difference to our behaviour is pretty preliminary: but there may not be much chemical difference between the dog and human version.
posted by rongorongo at 4:00 AM on January 3
posted by rongorongo at 4:00 AM on January 3
I think dogs (and cats and babies) tend to respond to a lot of cues that are for us subconscious or at least below our general awareness. I think it is likely a combination of body language but also tone of voice and probably scent as well. My partner has this similar attraction with dogs, cats, and babies - a lot of it comes from being relaxed and calm, having a "soft" body (not stiff), and being non-grabby non-anxious person. Letting them come to you, even if you are outright ignoring them and don't want them to come to you, tends to bring them to you. Being stiff and staring at them, especially with dogs, tends to make them nervous.
My partner does a lot of client visits and she's had cats & dogs, who hate everybody including their owners, come from their hiding spots and lay in her lap or in the case of cats drape themselves over her neck like a scarf. One client with a cat would send my partner pictures of their cat pining for my partner by the front window, a place it never sat previously.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:27 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]
My partner does a lot of client visits and she's had cats & dogs, who hate everybody including their owners, come from their hiding spots and lay in her lap or in the case of cats drape themselves over her neck like a scarf. One client with a cat would send my partner pictures of their cat pining for my partner by the front window, a place it never sat previously.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:27 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]
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But you are likely a good human, and if it makes you feel better that they think that you are special, that’s okay to tell yourself that too :)
posted by pando11 at 10:12 PM on January 1 [8 favorites]