Books on assertiveness

August 21, 2023 5:27 AM

I’m looking for a book to read on being assertive. Would be great if it was non-waffly, not too outdated (one commonly recommended book seems a bit old-fashioned and sexist) and most importantly actionable — I struggle a lot with this, so something like scripts to follow would be good for me.
posted by iamsuper to Human Relations (4 answers total)

When I took a manager position at work several years ago, someone gave me this book - Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High - and I got the impression that it was a very highly regarded book when it comes to tough conversations and being assertive and leadership and all that good stuff.

I did not read it, but left it on my night stand for two years and periodically used it to kill bugs.

I flamed out as a manager and am still not very good at being assertive. So it goes.
posted by kbanas at 6:12 AM on August 21, 2023 [11 favorites]

The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships by Randy Paterson is good for this. It has exercises and scripts. The lastest edition was released last September. I found it pretty helpful!
posted by VirginiaPlain at 6:22 AM on August 21, 2023 [5 favorites]

I read Crucial Conversations and I did find it helpful, but it is a but outdated.

As a companion to that, I really liked the book Radical Candor, by Kim Scott. It helped me find my own authentic way of telling people things I believed they needed to know. So far, I've found it the most effective book on this topic.
posted by pazazygeek at 6:35 AM on August 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

Sorry if these aren’t quite what you’re looking for but I have found them very helpful for being more assertive in professional settings.

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
posted by forkisbetter at 7:43 AM on August 21, 2023