Mindful pooping

August 16, 2023 7:16 AM

I look at screens way too much and I need to cut back. As a first step, I'm going to stop using my smartphone while I'm sitting on the toilet. I want to do something actively meditative with that time instead and mentally recite something like a mantra, Buddhist sutra, prayer, etc. Can you suggest any? Especially anything relevant to the topic, like meditations on the human body or prayers to patron saints of bowels. All religious and cultural backgrounds welcome.
posted by cadge to Health & Fitness (12 answers total)

Very observant Jews, when using the bathroom, will recite a prayer thanking God. Specifically, for making humans as they are (with openings and 'hollow spaces') and giving us the ability to excrete, without which life would be impossible. The wikipedia article may be interesting to you.

(I will say that as a Jew I have very mixed feelings about non-Jews reciting our prayers, due to a long history of appropriation of Jewish religious practice by Christians, but - appropriately - there are a range of opinions about that among Jews, including "no worries, go for it." And regardless of whether you're saying a specific prayer, I think it's a great perspective to have on the process, thinking about how essential and important it is for us as living beings.)
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:36 AM on August 16, 2023 [4 favorites]

There is a Buddhist chant of impermanence which seems apt. There are variations but the English words I learned are:

All things are impermanent,
They rise and they fall away.
To live in harmony with this truth,
Yields great happiness.

Happiness in this context can be understood as a relaxed, friendly, open mind and feeling of equanimity.
posted by lizard music at 7:46 AM on August 16, 2023 [4 favorites]

You could mentally review the amount of fiber you've eaten that day, and contemplate recipes that will add more fiber to your diet.
posted by phunniemee at 7:46 AM on August 16, 2023 [9 favorites]

This may not be exactly what you’re looking for as it doesn’t contain anything like a mantra or a prayer, but if I were trying to be mindful on the toilet I would try to clear my mind of thoughts and focus on the sounds, sights, smells, and sensations in my environment.

Or you can just eat something really spicy and you’ll be praying effortlessly.
posted by wheatlets at 7:57 AM on August 16, 2023 [3 favorites]

I try to be present when I can, so my mantra would be "Pooping, I know I am pooping" and using that opportunity to exist in my body and be part of what was going on.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:43 AM on August 16, 2023

Om mani padme hum

That’s the mantra of Buddha of compassion, Avalokiteshvara. Catchy tune too.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:00 AM on August 16, 2023

Oh and the monk I studied with used to joke “time to go and do some water offerings.”
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:12 AM on August 16, 2023

I like the Loving Kindness meditation. The way I was taught it was this:

May I be safe.
May I be healthy.
May I be happy.
May I be free.
May I practice Loving Kindness.
May I know peace.

And then I picture someone I'm struggling with or angry at and I recite it again in my mind:

May you be safe.
May you be healthy.
May you be happy.
May you be free.
May you practice Loving Kindness.
May you know peace.

And then I picture a community or sometimes just the whole world and recite it again with "we". It is very possible that I personally tweaked the language. But this is how I recite it.

Here are two more resources for (longer and more complex) variations on this theme:

https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/snp/snp.1.08.amar.html

FWIW, when I picture doing this on the can, I would want one of those foot risers so you can sit up straight.
posted by amandabee at 9:34 AM on August 16, 2023

Cloacina was a goddess who presided over the Cloaca Maxima ('Greatest Drain'), the main interceptor discharge outfall of the system of sewers in Rome.

posted by away for regrooving at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2023 [2 favorites]

TOILET VERSES:
While using the toilet, recite:
I pray that all sentient beings will eliminate our impurities
By completely ridding ourselves of lust, anger, and delusion.
While cleansing oneself afterward, recite:
I pray that all sentient beings may turn toward the Peerless Way and leave worldly things behind.
While washing one’s hands, recite:
I pray that all sentient beings will avail ourselves of purifying patience, that we may, after all, be free from any defilement.

- from Columbia Zen Buddhist Priory

Another good choice would just be breathing exercises - box breathing, breathing in for 4 seconds and out for 6 seconds, diaphragmatic breathing, etc.
posted by Isingthebodyelectric at 12:11 PM on August 16, 2023

A crossword puzzle. Interestingly I often find the answers come more freely after the bowels have moved.
posted by hypnogogue at 7:55 PM on August 16, 2023

St Bonaventure is the patron saint of bowels. Although the last phrase of the official prayers asking for his mediation seem less helpful in this matter " . . . in Whom may my mind and my heart be ever fixed and firm and rooted immovably. Amen. "
posted by BobTheScientist at 11:50 PM on August 16, 2023 [1 favorite]