House cleaner opts out of certain tasks: is this normal?

September 12, 2022 11:03 AM

We have a house cleaner who visits every other week for about two hours, for the past three years. Over this time, we've learned that there are certain tasks which she'll agree to do but not complete. Do I need to change my expectations?

Here is an example:
- we have a walk in shower, which she includes in her cleaning.
- Over time, it will get gross in the corners and require a deeper cleaning
- when we request it, she usually says something like "that is hard but ok", but then doesn't do anything more than her usual efforts

This puts us in the spot of calling her out on it and snooping on what she's doing. If she were to respond with "I'll need to stay longer to get that done" or "I can't handle that today due to my schedule", I would entirely understand. Instead I feel like she is indirectly communicating that this level of cleaning isn't an option and we should handle these things ourselves.

I realize all of this could be resolved with some frank conversation. Before I do that, can you help set my levels? This will help me with my tone.

posted by cgs to Human Relations (13 answers total)

not sure if it's the same conversation but when I asked my cleaners if they could clean the inside of my oven, I assumed it would be an extra task and asked them what it would cost, and they quoted me and I added it to that week's fee.

but... I feel like your shower shouldn't be getting gross at all, if she's cleaning it properly the whole time. This just sounds like she's not doing a good job and doesn't want to or doesn't know how to do it right. I don't think it's a separate task you should be paying for separately, I feel like it's part of the task that ought to be done at the hopefully appropriate rate that she's quoted you for cleaning the house. And yes, she's communicating to you with her actions that she's not interested in doing it.
posted by fingersandtoes at 11:09 AM on September 12, 2022 [17 favorites]

We've had a number of house cleaners over the years, and in my opinion, this is not something you should accept. I do think you should accept it if she says no, she won't do something (then you still have the decision about whether or not that's a deal breaker, but it's within her rights to refuse to do things). But it's not ok to say yes to something and then just not do it (I mean, occasionally forgetting or running out of time is one thing, but consistently saying yes and consistently not doing it is another). Personally I'd probably be looking for a new house cleaner unless this person is absolutely stellar in other ways.
posted by primethyme at 11:10 AM on September 12, 2022 [19 favorites]

In my experience of having housecleaners off and on again since 2006, the "typical cleaning" is usually something they do after they first "deep clean" your house to their standards of cleanliness, and then keeping the shower etc very clean after that is not such a problem. Over time, the shower should not be LESS clean.

It would seem to me that if she is only cleaning for two hours, but certain tasks aren't being done in that time, that she does not have the time for the tasks. I would ask her if she can clean your house for four hours every two weeks, or if she can bring a helper, and if either of those things would make it easier to keep up with the tasks that you are concerned about.

Frankly if she won't help you figure out a way to get the house clean to standard, then I would be looking for another cleaner. I've had cleaners that simply did not meet my expectations (which I don't think are crazy) and others whose work always made me sigh with relief. You definitely want the second kind.
posted by Medieval Maven at 11:10 AM on September 12, 2022 [6 favorites]

I mean, if she's explicitly included items in her cleaning fee that she's not doing, then she's not fulfilling her end of the deal and I would be annoyed, too, especially with something as basic as "properly clean the shower". Glass-doored showers are indeed a pain in the ass to clean, but... that's her job.

House cleaning is not cheap. I recently "fired" a house cleaning service because they were constantly overscheduled and cutting corners. It sucked for them, but I'm not made of money and if I'm paying all that money to have my house cleaned, I want it cleaned.

I would frame it this way: "We've asked you explicitly to do X, and you agree, but X does not get done. What is the problem?" Then based on her answer (maybe she wants a deep cleaning fee, maybe she will just never do it, who knows) you can go from there. But no, you're not being unreasonable. It's not like you're asking her to scrub the ceiling.
posted by rhymedirective at 11:14 AM on September 12, 2022 [9 favorites]

The conversation you already had with her would be sufficient for me. You know what the problem is, she considers it a hard job & she doesn't want to do it. Fine. If you don't want to do it either, then you have to find someone who will.
posted by bleep at 12:00 PM on September 12, 2022 [1 favorite]

When I worked for a cleaning company (doing the scheduling, not the cleaning), I was told to schedule 1hr per room the client expected to be cleaned. Kitchens and bathrooms always needed the full 1hr per room, if a client wanted to book 3hrs for 4 rooms, I'd let them know we could guarantee the kitchen and bathroom and say, at least part of a bedroom and living room (like the floors) and potentially more depending on how clean the client kept the rooms.

So, the fact that you're hiring someone for just 2hrs, every two weeks, makes me pretty confident the issue is both that you are expecting more cleaning that can reasonably happen in that time frame, and that your cleaner has bad communication skills.

All that said, if you are generally happy with her, I'd have a conversation where you list all that you want cleaned every other week, and ask her how long that would take. I think your tone here should be friendly - you realize you need more cleaning hours than you're currently paying for, and now you need her help calculating that additional time.
posted by coffeecat at 12:13 PM on September 12, 2022 [36 favorites]

Oh, and not that you need to answer this, but do you tip well? Sometimes regular clients would call in and ask "hey, this week can the cleaner do [extra task]?" I knew from the cleaners who tipped well and who didn't tip at all - if a client who tipped well asked for something like this, I'd say (assuming it was a relatively small) "Sure, that's probably doable" because the cleaners didn't mind occasionally working a bit extra hard for good tippers. But if a client who was known not to tip asked for a favor? I'd tell them "No sorry, but if you'd like to book an extra hour the cleaner has room in their schedule."
posted by coffeecat at 12:27 PM on September 12, 2022 [9 favorites]

Ask her. The corners of the shower aren't getting cleaned. What's up with that? Your cleaner is an employee, a relationship that requires discussion and clarity about expectations and results, or lack of. Pay rate should be adjusted from time to time, and you should listen to any concerns they have, and tell them of any concerns you have, as well as pointing out what they do well, and you should routinely express appreciation. Rewards and praise are more effective at changing behavior than any other thing.
posted by theora55 at 12:54 PM on September 12, 2022 [2 favorites]

She may be having joint/knee issues. Maybe offer her some knee pads from Home Depot?
posted by amtho at 12:56 PM on September 12, 2022

I agree with coffeecat that this is about time. My friend is a pro cleaner, she is meticulous and truly fast. She once explained to me that she no longer takes clients who expect a perfect cleaning in too little time, she does 50 to max 60m2 (540-650 square feet) in 3 hours, every other week, in a 2 adult household, which, this being Viennese apartments will include one bathroom with a tub, and separate toilet. Sheet changing included. No pets. Ironing and windows extra.

Of course i have no idea of the size of your house, how many bathrooms, etc. But do seriously consider what level of cleaning can be accomplished within two hours.
posted by 15L06 at 1:17 PM on September 12, 2022

I think you have to determine if you are paying for time or paying for a final product. When you agree on both, "So it will take you 3.5 hours to do xyz every week?" "ok what will that cost? $100 a week? I agree. Let's see how it goes the first few times and have a quick 5 minute meeting to address any concerns or if we misestimated anything."

If it were me, I would set expectations and ask how much it will cost to get it in that condition every time they come.

I have had the same person (and her sister) cleaning my homes for 24 years. First, I agree with the above answer that if she had been doing it correctly from the beginning, there would be no extra buildup or extra need. It is simply proof that she does not clean that part of your home.

I would not read into it any more than she either cannot do the work or cannot estimate the time it would take. The only other reason they are not doing it is because they may not have the appropriate tools or products to do it. Maybe you need to buy a scrub brush or whatever to make it happen. By asking her, you are pointing out that they did not do a good job to begin with. What I used to do with the person who cleans my home, is clean it myself to a standard with which I can live and then show them what it should look like.

She was very thankful that I showed her the way. In the beginning, I do not think she had much experience. Now she is old hand at it. I have a set fee. I tip her two weeks pay every Christmas and I have paid for some legal work to get her and her Dreamer daughter green cards.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 1:38 PM on September 12, 2022 [2 favorites]

I've had a couple cleaning people throughout the years, and they always quoted me in terms of cleaning the house, not how many hours they will be there (so like, $100 a week, the house will be clean, if they go fast/bring a helper or two it will be done faster, if not it will be slower, but the house will be clean)

So, this answer is assuming that was how the agreement was made, not by hour.

I've occasionally asked for a deep clean week (and will ask how much more/add cash) vs a normal week. But keeping the shower clean is something that is a normal, expected thing. And if they are coming every other week, it really shouldn't get so gross that you notice or that its a deep clean situation.

I think unfortunately her level of clean is not the level which you would like, and she does not want to reach your level. It might be time to find someone new.
posted by zara at 1:57 PM on September 12, 2022 [1 favorite]

If the shower isn't getting cleaned well enough to avoid it getting gross, that feels like the bigger problem - I'd address that. Here are some data points from my experience, if it's helpful. We have a three story house that is cleaned every two weeks by a team of 2-3 people for $150 (I am in Northern Virginia in the US). It usually takes 2 1/2 hours to do - sometimes there is only one lady who comes and it takes longer. The showers are cleaned so well that there is never a question of getting gross in the corners or whatever - with the frequency and quality of the job they do, it's fine. I give them a holiday bonus early in December - I add $300 (the cost of two cleanings) to the normal bi-weekly fee. I always pay cash.
posted by ersatzkat at 10:35 AM on September 13, 2022 [1 favorite]