Looking for a new last name

March 31, 2022 1:08 PM

I'm nonbinary/agender trans and not close to my family. As part of defining my own identity/presentation, I'm planning on changing my name. I'm stuck on a last name.

First and middle initials are M and C. I've been wondering about an H-name (because I like the idea of being MCH/mech) but haven't hit anything I like.

I've considered "Hedera" (for ivy), and really like "Hearthwright" as a kind of neo-construction for "home-maker", but Wikipedia is telling me that "hearth" is being used by (maybe white supremacist) neopagans so I'm feeling like I need to avoid that.

I don't need it to be an "H"-name, pretty much open to any letter at this point. Not looking for a drag name, tho, so check that "Mx. Whatever" sounds ok. :) My career is in a professional white-collar setting and this name will be on a LOT of very official documents.

I don't have any specific culture to reference, just general white American suburbia and some kind of Euro-blend genetic ancestry, so I've been looking at some kind of constructed name or general term. I've looked at Latin/Greek roots as well, tho if you've got an interesting PIE name that'd be interesting to consider.

Things I like: General science stuff! Space/astronomy & physics, geology, wind, trees, climbing plants (ivy/vines), networks, systems. Hope/optimism, steadfastness, tenacity/resiliency. Tend to be a morning person.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (38 answers total)

Himalia, the sixth moon of Jupiter.
posted by miguelcervantes at 1:14 PM on March 31, 2022 [4 favorites]

Hart?
posted by maighdeann mhara at 1:16 PM on March 31, 2022 [4 favorites]

For some reason, the name Hensley came to mind, for no particular reason than I like the way it sounds. M.C. Hensley. I could see that on the cover a book. Along the same lines as Hearthwright, you might consider Hartwright.
posted by OrangeDisk at 1:26 PM on March 31, 2022 [10 favorites]

How about Faithful. Or something along those lines. Because you are being faithful to your true inner self.
posted by gt2 at 1:29 PM on March 31, 2022

First thing that came to mind is Best. It's a surname that exists and is easily pronounceable. I like that it connotes self-acceptance and optimism. Sounds good with M and C.

Thinking of plants or animals that I've seen as actual last names that would be cool: Oak, Bloom, Bird, Hawk, Fox. Gardener. Reed.
posted by greta simone at 1:30 PM on March 31, 2022 [8 favorites]

First name that came to mind was Mandella, because that was the name of the hero in Forever War by Joe Haldeman. The story was both of his parents were hippies and neither wanted to take the other's surname, so they settled on both taking a new surname, and they chose Mandella. At least that's how I remember it.

My second thought was a variant on @greta_simone's "Best"... Bester, sort of after Alfred Bester, the scifi author.
posted by kschang at 1:39 PM on March 31, 2022

M. C. Hammer, clearly
posted by arrmatie at 1:41 PM on March 31, 2022 [35 favorites]

There are the most amazing old English surnames. Here

And then when someone asks you, because they are going to ask you -- "It's an Old English name".
posted by beccaj at 1:42 PM on March 31, 2022 [5 favorites]

Went looking for plant names that start with H and came up with: Hawthorn, Hazel, and Holly. Could easily imagine any of those as a last name, and the hazel has some interesting mythology around it.
posted by Mender at 1:47 PM on March 31, 2022

Is there a person, either in your life or that you have come across in your community (including reading or watching their videos) that you really admire or are inspired by? Someone who was really a support or mentor to you? Would you feel comfortable naming yourself a variant on their last name or even their first or middle name? You could still say it's a family name if asked, using a more expansive definition of family.

Alternately, this list of 8 historical female astronomers lists Caroline Herschel for one, maybe Hersh or Hirsh? Maybe Hagan or Hagen in honor of Carl Sagan?
posted by matildaben at 1:52 PM on March 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Are you looking more for something that will actively communicate an aspect of yourself to people you meet-- maybe even being personalized/unusual enough that many will correctly assume you chose your own last name-- or something more understated that "passes" as a given last name but has private meaning for you? There's a really broad spectrum there that might inform your stylistic choices a lot.
posted by dusty potato at 1:53 PM on March 31, 2022 [3 favorites]

I think a lot of the more trad Anglo H-surnames are evocative and nice, with lots of nature-related elements, plus almost no one will ask you how to pronounce them:

Hatfield, Hamilton, Hanning, Hardy, Harrison, Harrington, Hartley, Harwood, Haskins, Hawkins, Hawthorne, Heller, Hodgson, Holbrook, Hopkins, Hopper, Howard, Hudson, Hughes, Huxley…
posted by demonic winged headgear at 1:54 PM on March 31, 2022 [4 favorites]

Hill. It’s short and you just climbed over one.
posted by MadMadam at 1:55 PM on March 31, 2022 [19 favorites]

As a British, I feel like "Hopewell" or "Hardy" could both have a lovely double meaning both as a standard surname and "hope - well" and being hardy or resilient. "Hartwood" could also connote both your love of plants and a feeling of being resilient, at your heart, the strongest part of the tree.
posted by MarianHalcombe at 1:55 PM on March 31, 2022 [12 favorites]

How about Heart? Bonus because it also anagrams to “earth” and some of your interests seem to center on nature/earth. Another anagram of “earth” could be “Tehra”.
posted by Sassyfras at 2:09 PM on March 31, 2022 [2 favorites]

Hatch
posted by 10ch at 2:15 PM on March 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Housemartin?
posted by kindall at 2:23 PM on March 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Halcyon. (Hal-see-on)

A halcyon is a kingfisher, from the myth of Ceyx and Alcyone: Alcyone threw herself into the sea, but before she could drown the gods transformed her to a kingfisher, a bird which can dive headlong into the water and arise unharmed.

Halcyon days are days of calm, peace and happiness. Legend has it that as a further gift to Alcyone, the gods make sure no storms occur for 2 weeks around the winter solstice, to allow the kingfishers time to hatch their eggs. But now people use the phrase in a general sense to mean "good days".

This name could be a favourable omen: survival through transformation, and better days to come.
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:26 PM on March 31, 2022 [10 favorites]

“Hope” because you mentioned it;
“Heinstein” sounds sciency and would be memorable I think…
posted by calgirl at 2:29 PM on March 31, 2022 [3 favorites]

Henge. It's ancient and it's heavy.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 3:03 PM on March 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Hopewell? Association with a vast network of (I believe peaceful) cultural/economic exchange in pre-colonization North America (although named for the man who ~owned the land where the culture was first identified by archaeologists - assuming that both he and the archaeologists were white). Also associated with a social-change NGO that I haven’t heard is awful.
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 3:03 PM on March 31, 2022

Hubble

Of course you can tweak the spelling however you like (“Hubbell” was the first name of Robert Redford’s character in The Way We Were, for example). I don’t know much about Mr. Hubble, but wow, that’s one heckuva space telescope, even today.

Also, congratulations. :)
posted by argonauta at 4:17 PM on March 31, 2022 [2 favorites]

Astronomy: Halley
Resiliency: Healey
Tenacity: Hester
posted by armeowda at 4:20 PM on March 31, 2022

I feel hesitant to cede “hearth,” as in “hearth and home” / “the place you build a fire to keep warm,” to notional white supremacists. I feel like that’s a pretty tenuous link, considering you otherwise like your neologism. Not sure that perspective counts, but that’s my immediate reaction.
posted by Alterscape at 4:30 PM on March 31, 2022 [6 favorites]

Count me as a fan of “Hope” as well! When I got to that line in the post it felt like you had answered your own question.
posted by ejs at 4:51 PM on March 31, 2022 [2 favorites]

Hestia is the Greek goddess of the hearth and one of my favorite mythological figures. She is so pervasive and central to life, as the hearth and home, that she almost disappears, but is in fact present at all times. The Roman variation is Vesta, though the linguistic connection doesn’t make sense as far as we can tell and there must have been a third culture that got involved too.
posted by Mizu at 5:40 PM on March 31, 2022 [2 favorites]

Hyperion
posted by Calibandage at 5:56 PM on March 31, 2022

Fellow Trans person here.

1. Congratulations! This is a big step.

2. This may sound exceedingly woo, but I'd medititate and pray on it, and let the name come to you. That happened with my first name; once it found me, every other name just didn't fit as well. It just felt comfortable, like a worn shoe. Everything else i thought of, namewise, just felt forced.

3. But if you're taking suggestions still, I'm partial to Horace, myself. It means 'time' or 'season'.
posted by spinifex23 at 6:08 PM on March 31, 2022 [2 favorites]

What about Heartwright? It has the sound of a name you like, drops any unsavory "hearth" associations, and is accurate—you may be making a home but you're certainly also making a heart.
posted by babelfish at 7:32 PM on March 31, 2022 [1 favorite]

Aitch.
posted by dobbs at 7:54 PM on March 31, 2022

Havenwright
Hale

With the initials M.C., Escher could be a choice.
posted by Night_owl at 9:26 PM on March 31, 2022

Morning person and new beginnings made me think of Horizon.

Love so many of these!
posted by Threeve at 10:21 PM on March 31, 2022

Hartley
posted by nouvelle-personne at 11:29 PM on March 31, 2022

Have you done any geneology research at all? Maybe there's a name in your family history that's not directly tied to your immediate family members, but still resonates with you on a deeper level aka "in your bones." In the generic Anglo-Western European tradition, last names evolved so others knew where you were from (like, literally, the location) and then eventually, what you did, and then who your parents were. Maybe you can go back in time a bit.

Ancestry.com is an easy way to find some options - memail me if you want me to do it on your behalf.
posted by nkknkk at 7:01 AM on April 1, 2022

You could try testing the options as your Starbucks name. I did this for my kids’ first names to ensure there wouldn’t be an annoying constant misspelling or mishearing. I imagine it would work pretty well for a lot of last names that fit your criteria.
posted by condour75 at 7:46 AM on April 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

A lot of people in the last couple of generations in my family have changed their last names, including me, for a range of reasons (prominently but not solely assimilation).

I like the idea of taking the name (first or last) of someone you really admire. Preferably someone who's dead and unlikely to have new skeletons come out of their closet, or someone who is fictional.

Also for what it's worth, you're not married to this new last name either. Generations of women had changed their names throughout their lives, and if you end up wanting a different name, you can add it on the end or change it again.

I will offer Havelock for an H name.

You might also ask people you love for family names of people they loved. I might be a bit weirded out if a friend wanted to take *my* last name, but there have been some wonderful loving people in my family, with no known namesakes, whose names (last or first) I would be glad to share with someone I loved and deeply moved to see taken up (that is more or less how I went about my own legal name chagnes).
posted by Salamandrous at 12:54 PM on April 1, 2022

Seconding both Heartwright and Hammer.
posted by D.Billy at 12:56 PM on April 1, 2022

Good wishes on moving forward with your new moniker when it is decided.
Out of left field and not starting with H - Onions.
I was so delighted to find out that this is a surname and that several people have it at the university where I work. In my opinion it is memorable and humble and cheerful.
posted by Lookinguppy at 3:36 PM on April 5, 2022