Positive experiences for getting kids dressed and in the car.
March 14, 2022 2:41 PM Subscribe
Seeking ideas for something fun or otherwise positive that will encourage our kids to get dressed and get in the car for school.
Our kids are nearly 3 and nearly 6. We have very little resistance at bath time and bedtime by having a game we play every time or a positive book reading and singing ritual. But like a lot of kids they've started dragging their feet in the mornings when we say it's time to get dressed or put on shoes or head out to the car. So I'm looking for ideas about what kind of fun or positive ritual we could build into these morning activities to help them get over their inertia and get ready.
Please be specific. We've already discussed having some kind of game we play when we get to the car or playing some special music in the car if they don't dawdle too much (theyre kids, of course they dawdle, but sometimes they really drag it out). But what game could we play? What music or other form of entertainment could we do? Other ideas? Not so much "if you X, you'll get to do Y" but a fun thing that is just part of the process so they have something to look forward to.
Our kids are nearly 3 and nearly 6. We have very little resistance at bath time and bedtime by having a game we play every time or a positive book reading and singing ritual. But like a lot of kids they've started dragging their feet in the mornings when we say it's time to get dressed or put on shoes or head out to the car. So I'm looking for ideas about what kind of fun or positive ritual we could build into these morning activities to help them get over their inertia and get ready.
Please be specific. We've already discussed having some kind of game we play when we get to the car or playing some special music in the car if they don't dawdle too much (theyre kids, of course they dawdle, but sometimes they really drag it out). But what game could we play? What music or other form of entertainment could we do? Other ideas? Not so much "if you X, you'll get to do Y" but a fun thing that is just part of the process so they have something to look forward to.
My kid is a morning foot dragger. Her dad has a lot more patience and success with getting dressed and brushing teeth, so they do that and I make lunch.
Sometimes he makes it into a race - “I bet you can’t get dressed in 3 minutes!” and then sets a timer. He ends up helping more than a 6 year old needs, too - in the interest of speeding things up - and that’s why I’m not the one doing it, I get super annoyed.
It’s a slog!
Maybe you could get them to race each other (give the littler one a handicap)
posted by Lawn Beaver at 2:52 PM on March 14, 2022
Sometimes he makes it into a race - “I bet you can’t get dressed in 3 minutes!” and then sets a timer. He ends up helping more than a 6 year old needs, too - in the interest of speeding things up - and that’s why I’m not the one doing it, I get super annoyed.
It’s a slog!
Maybe you could get them to race each other (give the littler one a handicap)
posted by Lawn Beaver at 2:52 PM on March 14, 2022
But what game could we play?
Silly walks? Walk like an animal? Do you have a driveway you could chalk an obstacle course or follow-the-line maze on? What about a selection of silly glasses and masks in the car to wear on the way to school?
posted by Lyn Never at 3:06 PM on March 14, 2022
Silly walks? Walk like an animal? Do you have a driveway you could chalk an obstacle course or follow-the-line maze on? What about a selection of silly glasses and masks in the car to wear on the way to school?
posted by Lyn Never at 3:06 PM on March 14, 2022
We just have a rule where they can have screen time as soon as they are fully ready to go (clothes on, teeth brushed, shoes on, backpack packed, suncream on, breakfast eaten, etc). The sooner they are ready, the more screentime they get -- and if they dawdle too much, they miss out on screentime entirely. (And if they dawdle too much after that, they are just late for school -- it's all about natural consequences here. They have been late to school a few times because of this, but it took only a few times).
Maybe something more inventive would have worked too, but honestly mornings are complicated enough that we went with this relatively easy thing, and it's been great. We started when the kids were around 2 and 5, and they are now 6 and 9 and basically self-motivated in the mornings.
posted by contrapositive at 3:30 PM on March 14, 2022 [7 favorites]
Maybe something more inventive would have worked too, but honestly mornings are complicated enough that we went with this relatively easy thing, and it's been great. We started when the kids were around 2 and 5, and they are now 6 and 9 and basically self-motivated in the mornings.
posted by contrapositive at 3:30 PM on March 14, 2022 [7 favorites]
Do they like their schools? Make sure this isn't self preservation.
posted by Oyéah at 3:44 PM on March 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Oyéah at 3:44 PM on March 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
My kids (6 and 9) sleep in their clothing for the next day. If they decide they want to sleep in PJs, I have them pull out the clothing for tomorrow ahead of time so they don't need to make any decisions in the morning.
At all ages, I have found that having big visual posters for checklists have been very helpful. Think about all the posters in a Kindergarten classroom, with everything broken down into steps in bright block letters. We could never get the games to work but we could get structure to work. I would get their buy in by making time to brainstorm and make the schedule together, sometimes allowing them to illustrate my words on the posters. Don't underestimate how specific you need to be. When our kids were in pre-school, we made a poster with clock times as they looked on the digital clock. Then we would point to the clock and say "It's 7:25, time to put on your shoes".Even now when I made the "morning checklist" I had to write: "shoes on feet" because when I wrote "shoes" my kids would just verify that they had shoes somewhere in the house and then wander around all confused and barefoot and then drive us nuts right when it was time to get in the car.
I've actually found that having slightly less time in the morning (and letting my kids get slightly more sleep) helped with focus because there isn't time to get distracted by playing with toys, etc. So we've honed our mornings to a tight 30 minutes (a solid 10 of which is just waking the kids up, getting them out of bed). From there, it's breakfast, backpack, out the door.
posted by you'rerightyou'rerightiknowyou'reright at 3:50 PM on March 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
At all ages, I have found that having big visual posters for checklists have been very helpful. Think about all the posters in a Kindergarten classroom, with everything broken down into steps in bright block letters. We could never get the games to work but we could get structure to work. I would get their buy in by making time to brainstorm and make the schedule together, sometimes allowing them to illustrate my words on the posters. Don't underestimate how specific you need to be. When our kids were in pre-school, we made a poster with clock times as they looked on the digital clock. Then we would point to the clock and say "It's 7:25, time to put on your shoes".Even now when I made the "morning checklist" I had to write: "shoes on feet" because when I wrote "shoes" my kids would just verify that they had shoes somewhere in the house and then wander around all confused and barefoot and then drive us nuts right when it was time to get in the car.
I've actually found that having slightly less time in the morning (and letting my kids get slightly more sleep) helped with focus because there isn't time to get distracted by playing with toys, etc. So we've honed our mornings to a tight 30 minutes (a solid 10 of which is just waking the kids up, getting them out of bed). From there, it's breakfast, backpack, out the door.
posted by you'rerightyou'rerightiknowyou'reright at 3:50 PM on March 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
Please be specific.
A countdown, not to when they'll need to be done, but when they'll need to start getting ready. "We're going to start getting ready for school in 20 minutes", ten minutes, five minutes, ok it's time.
Consider that maybe it doesn't need to be "fun", and that the thing they're digging their heels in isn't that they don't want to get dressed for school, it's that they don't like being summarily dragged away from whatever they were doing with no advance notice.
posted by mhoye at 3:51 PM on March 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
A countdown, not to when they'll need to be done, but when they'll need to start getting ready. "We're going to start getting ready for school in 20 minutes", ten minutes, five minutes, ok it's time.
Consider that maybe it doesn't need to be "fun", and that the thing they're digging their heels in isn't that they don't want to get dressed for school, it's that they don't like being summarily dragged away from whatever they were doing with no advance notice.
posted by mhoye at 3:51 PM on March 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
I don't have a copy to hand, so I can't be specific in this comment, but I highly, highly recommend How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7, which is the prequel to a justifiably admired book about older kids. The first half of the book is generic advice about how to communicate with respect, kindness and humor. The second half is a list of chapters about specific problems (sleep, bathroom, getting dressed, leaving the house, eating, etc.) with scripts and tricks you can use based on the generic ideas in the first half of the book. It's great!
posted by caek at 4:00 PM on March 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by caek at 4:00 PM on March 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Do they like having their photos taken? You could do one every morning as soon as they're each dressed (so one doesn't get angry at the other for dawdling) and then another of them together in the car (for a dose of teamwork, plus if the one in the car is angry it's not like they can do anything besides wait).
posted by teremala at 4:02 PM on March 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by teremala at 4:02 PM on March 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Audio book that you ONLY play in the car. Find a fun engaging story with lots of cliffhangers (sorry I don’t have any suggestions). And while they’re getting ready in the morning, you can periodically remind them that they need to hustle because you want to know what happened to Jimmy from yesterday’s chapter!
posted by Sassyfras at 4:04 PM on March 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Sassyfras at 4:04 PM on March 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
What is currently working with our 3.5 year old (and completely turns his attitude around) is asking what toy he wants to bring in the car with him for the 8 minute drive. He can have anything within reason (no huge trucks and only limited quantities of legos).
posted by rustcellar at 4:24 PM on March 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by rustcellar at 4:24 PM on March 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
The two things that get my 4 year old out the door is getting to pick music in the car and me saying "let's see if we can get our usual parking spot!"
posted by beyond_pink at 6:39 PM on March 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by beyond_pink at 6:39 PM on March 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
After breakfast, we would race to see who could brush teeth, get dressed and be ready to go out the door first. When we got outside we cheered without declaring a winner! This is a slightly chaotic method that works great with your age kids. Following the outlined rules, I lost every day... but every day I won!!!
posted by mutt.cyberspace at 8:01 PM on March 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by mutt.cyberspace at 8:01 PM on March 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Bring toothbrush & hairbrush to the kitchen, so once kiddo comes downstairs they don't need to go back up.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:49 PM on March 14, 2022
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:49 PM on March 14, 2022
Every morning when it’s time to go, I play “goodbye goodbye” by oingo boingo, and my kid and I rush like crazy out the door. The rule is you need to be in the car with seatbelts on by the time the song is over. This is a fun rushing game but mainly my kid learned quickly how long the song was and could anticipate speeding up if he was running out of time (which is a concept he still doesn’t have without music at almost 7). And especially I didn’t have to say “hurry up let’s go” for the duration of the song, because the song is really doing that job for me.
We use a bedtime song too, for pjs and potty and teeth. It’s 6 minutes which is more than he needs usually.
posted by andreapandrea at 10:45 PM on March 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
We use a bedtime song too, for pjs and potty and teeth. It’s 6 minutes which is more than he needs usually.
posted by andreapandrea at 10:45 PM on March 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
coursera.com offers free courses that you can complete at your own pace. It offers a Yale course called, "Everyday Parenting: The ABCs of Child Rearing", that includes, among other things, this exact challenge. I took the course, and feel that it is excellent.
posted by SageTrail at 12:14 PM on March 15, 2022
posted by SageTrail at 12:14 PM on March 15, 2022
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We ended up with one-on-one story time (when there were four young kids) as the reward, and it worked surprisingly quickly.
Godspeed.
posted by wenestvedt at 2:45 PM on March 14, 2022 [5 favorites]