Date night during coronavirus
April 13, 2020 8:25 PM   Subscribe

Help me plan a special date night! I'd like to drop off a package with all the materials for a creative, socially distant date.

I started dating someone the week before COVID-19 really hit my area. I obviously haven't seen the person since then, even though we talk on the phone every night and have done lots of "movie nights." This relationship is new and I'd really like to do something special--I was thinking of making a fancy dinner and doing a special dinner delivery (they live very close to me) so we could enjoy it together while skyping. This seems pretty boring, though. Help me come up with something creative for a socially distant date night! We both are cheesy, earnest people who are still getting to know each other, so give me all of your creative ideas! The more ridiculous and over-the-top, the better. You can safely assume I have lots of crafting supplies and am willing to put in some significant time to prepare for this.
posted by lucy.jakobs to Grab Bag (17 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Best answer: Jigsaw puzzle.

Give them one, and then you have an identical one.

...then you both go mildly insane trying to keep your sets in sync ("OK, I finished the tiny house", "which tiny house?", "the one in the upper right with the red roof!", "wait, which piece did you use, the red roof piece or the green garage door?"), but if you survive it'll be an anecdote for the ages, I am not kidding when I make this recommendation.

Webcams make this easier, but there's still a pretty substantial challenge with substantial coupling opportunities if you both survive the effort.
posted by aramaic at 8:31 PM on April 13, 2020 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Have you thought about going 'covid steady'? If they are living alone and not going out and so are you...its not different than living with a roommate as far as risk factors go.

If not, I highly recommend picking a book to read aloud to each other chapter by chapter.

If you are both artistically inclined, make an Exquisite Corpse! Fold a paper into forths like an accordion, draw part of a character and extend the lines down to the next section. Tape it up so they can't see what you drew and have them do the next bit. Pass back and forth until the drawing is done and then see what monstrosity you came up with!
posted by ananci at 8:51 PM on April 13, 2020 [4 favorites]

Best answer: This might not be the date night you had imagined, at some point you might want to take turns answering the Questions to Fall in Love.
posted by metahawk at 9:01 PM on April 13, 2020 [1 favorite]

Best answer: "Attend" "The Invisible City, Episode 2" (Or Ep 1, but I thought Ep 2 made a more romantic and intriguing date, and the order doesn't matter.

Go to a virtual whiskey tasting. This pub has one of Kinahan's on Thursday and I bet would set you up with a private one if you asked.

"Go" to a life drawing class together; deliver wine and cheese and fancy snacks to
hir house in advance and have a private critique and showing of your work together afterwards

Go to an online dance class or party together. Take videos and send to each other. Make up dance off challenges to compete to.

Do an online escape room.

The deliver dinner idea is a good one that can be expanded: deliver a fancy cocktail kit and a playlist and fancy snacks (caviar!) for a swank cocktail hour zoom. Deliver all the materials for a fancy bath. Deliver a curated sex toy experience a la Heart and Honey, ideally with an interactive twist (remote controlled sex toys are good for this).
posted by shadygrove at 9:09 PM on April 13, 2020 [6 favorites]

Best answer: This is only for the bold, at this stage in the relationship, but my husband read to me from his teenage diaries early in the lockdown and it's the best night I've had since this began. If you have the guts and access to juvenilia, host your own Mortified.
posted by babelfish at 9:15 PM on April 13, 2020 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I’m in the same boat, and it’s awful. The newness of it all, the rapid growth — it’s all thwarted.

Aside from regular chatting, it’s helped to set explicit times for FaceTime dates. It’s given us something to look forward to, an actual circled date on the calendar, of which there are far to few of these days. Expectation carries a lot. (And yes, on our last FT date, we did the questions to fall in love thing, even though it felt wildly premature.)

We’re trying to find new ways of being together. Right now that means unexpected textings throughout the day, lots of pictures of ordinary daily life, and a fair bit of sexting. Soon she’ll be getting a care package to make a physical connection — hopefully that goes over well. Care package is of a few little things personal to me that allows a part of me to be with her, and for her to have me around in some small way.

We’re having to figure out new ways to be together apart, and as best as I can tell, it means simply making more contact, and being more open (and a bit forward) than I ordinarily would.

Deeper, earlier intimacy is what I guess I’m saying. There has to be something to make up for the lack of actual intimacy and still nurture the growth we’re both after*.

(*I’m making a lot of assumptions here, knock on wood.)
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:16 PM on April 13, 2020 [2 favorites]

Best answer: For a care package:
(examples birthday themed)
Something to eat (cake!)
Something fun (party streamers?)
Something useful (? ymmv)
Something to wear (a scarf, a hat.. a silly party hat)
Something sentimental (a note, card, photograph etc)
posted by freethefeet at 9:41 PM on April 13, 2020 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Enthusiastically second the idea of reading to one another. It's an incredibly intimate sort of experience.
posted by Alensin at 9:41 PM on April 13, 2020

Best answer: How about sending them a link to a set of childhood pictures you have in a folder online? I did this with my gf pre-C19 and then I spent an hour or more describing them, what the background was, etc. Once you start talking about the family trip to the amusement park that leads into so many things. What kind of car did your family have. Sibling dynamics. Crazy things like the time your brother ate the ghost pepper. Pictures of your grandparents and other relatives.

The other thing would be to scan in some pictures from your HS yearbook you could send to them. The laughs we had looking at each other's yearbook are now a great memory for us. Apparently, she got great pleasure out of seeing my 3rd grade report card. Augie does not always play nicely with the other children sent her into a laughing fit.

I think sharing memories can make new memories together. Make them dinner too. Make your favorite childhood meal. It would go with going through old photos.
posted by AugustWest at 11:19 PM on April 13, 2020 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Cook a meal 'together'


Not sure what area you are in, but where I am, some local bars are doing cocktail delivery, so that's an idea if you both drink.
posted by greta simone at 6:40 AM on April 14, 2020

Best answer: Maybe look at some "getting to know you" question lists and turn a few questions into a game. You could make crafty, fun cards with both answers and questions and have them guess which go together. It would take some doing to come up with a list of questions that have potentially interchangeable answers, but it could be a fun thing to do on skype. And you could include a blank set of cards for them to fill out with their own info.

It might be easier to just make statements about yourself and have them decide whether they're true or false. That could be kind of flirty, too. "When this is over the first thing I want to do with you is fly kites at the park - true or false?"

All that said if someone brought me a home-made dinner and possibly a bottle of wine or cocktail fixings I would be *so* touched and thrilled. It's hardly boring.
posted by bunderful at 7:30 AM on April 14, 2020

Best answer: I like the idea of doing the same project.
Put together a meal package and cook dinner together.
Cut out the fabric, scavenge some elastic, and sew masks.
Put together a puzzle, and send them half the puzzle pieces, and do the puzzle together.
Reading aloud to each other is a great idea, or watch a movie together.
posted by theora55 at 7:43 AM on April 14, 2020

Best answer: we are in the same boat. I am an essential worker, so we are careful to keep distant. He was working up to a week ago, with travel into a hot spot for the disease on a daily basis. Today we had a socially distant walk; I went to his house, and we walked around his quiet, family friendly neighborhood. It was wonderful to just chat while keeping a proper distance, just to be face to face.

Also, I've looked up "conversation starters" and use some of those to, well, start a conversation and it's been a lot of fun.

Otherwise, I'm really liking the suggestions here and I'll be following this thread.
posted by annieb at 4:32 PM on April 14, 2020

Response by poster: Thanks everyone! All of these ideas were helpful. I ended up delivering a themed box that had wrapped supplies for three dates, all involving food and an activity. It was fun to plan and hopefully made my new person feel special. They seemed to like it!
posted by lucy.jakobs at 1:59 PM on April 30, 2020 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Second update: We broke up today. The pandemic sure sucks, doesn't it?
posted by lucy.jakobs at 8:44 AM on May 2, 2020

:( i'm really sorry.
posted by bunderful at 8:50 PM on May 2, 2020

Aw man! I am so bummed for you.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:01 PM on May 3, 2020

« Older How to ruminate productively?   |   Tall Skinny Guy, Short Fat Guy Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.