How do I get a second after a good first?

March 12, 2006 10:43 PM

Why am i completely satisfied after doing it once, and how do I increase the number of times I can have sex in a single night?

I used to have premature ejaculation problems mostly due to anxiety which after extensive psychoteraphy are not cured but are under control. So sex is much better, and if my partner makes me comfortable, it can be great!.
But I have always had the problem that after ejaculation I am completely satisfied, and any arousal I had dissapears for about 4 or 5 hours.
I've "never" (wink) had problems with maintaining an erection before ejaculating. I know most of my girlfriends said that one was enough for them but who doesn't want to repeat something that was great?.
Do you know how I can help this? Do you have any tricks? Could it be something physical?
If it matters, I'm 25 in good health and I know it doesn't have to do with anxiety anymore.

posted by Manouk to Health & Fitness (13 answers total)

you know, once doesn't have to be enough for your girlfriends just because you can't get aroused again. if you know what I mean. And I mean oral sex, in case you can't figure that out.
posted by MadamM at 10:48 PM on March 12, 2006

The trick, my friend, is to learn to not ejaculate. You can learn to have multiple orgasms, but afaik, multiple ejaculations are freakishly uncommon.

Why are your girlfriends not having multiple Os? They should, IMO, be getting at least one orally, one clitorally, and one vaginally. They're all unique. None of them require you to be multi-orgasmic.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:50 PM on March 12, 2006

Try eating seeds like pumpkin seeds. And eggs.
posted by lunkfish at 1:02 AM on March 13, 2006

Find a partner that's hot enough, and learn to understand when/how you are hot enough. I've had several partners with whom I achieved this goal.

Dig deep in yourself to find what's hot, rather than just ascribe to the marketed type. Hot partner, hot action, deep excitement. At your age, you should be able to manage, if you can find what it takes for you. That applies to your personal taste in partners as well as your taste in action.

I'd say give up masturbation awhile, but, honestly, I never have and that wasn't an issue (maybe skipped a day, never two). Most of this is in your mind.
posted by Goofyy at 2:17 AM on March 13, 2006

Orally? You mean like in Deep Throat?
posted by crabintheocean at 4:46 AM on March 13, 2006

If you are satisfied and your girlfriends have said once is enough for them, why bother?
posted by Carol Anne at 5:15 AM on March 13, 2006

The "problem" sounds physical. There might be dietary ingredients that could help.
posted by stratastar at 6:50 AM on March 13, 2006

Response by poster: I thought I was pretty good at oral, but five fresh fish's comment of her achieving an oral AND a clitoral orgasm has made me doubt. Clitoral would be just with my hands? I thought oral was clitoral.

Finding a partner that is hot enough is not the answer. I've dated pretty hot girls and the problem is the same, after one I don't want to know anything about another one.

Stratastar, what do you mean? like aphrodisiacs? aren't they all placebos?
posted by Manouk at 8:15 AM on March 13, 2006

As you probably already know, the clitoris is a sexual organ on a woman's body, right above her vagina. Whether or not you stimulate it with your tounge or your hands is up to you. From what I have seen, I think its the tounge, hands down.

I think Five Fresh Fish is talking about stimulation of the vagina via the tounge as well. But I can't tell. Plus, FFF's gender is listed as outie. I think that means dude. So take his advice with a grain of salt. The girls will have your best advice on this thread.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:27 AM on March 13, 2006

I'm saying lick her clit to orgasm, then do penetrative sex with her on top, so that she can manipulate her own clit, then go full fucking out with vaginal orgasms. And whatever additional clitoral orgasms she wishes to deliver to herself.

Or maybe I just have a particularly horny wife.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:44 AM on March 13, 2006

(OTOH, we're both heading 40, and we're finding that we're kinda entering a whole new level of sexuality. Twenty years with the same partner = a remarkable level of knowledge about each other and absolute perfection in satisfying one another.)
posted by five fresh fish at 10:46 AM on March 13, 2006

I had a long chat about this with a professional escort once (under non-professional circumstances, thank you very much) and she had good things to say on the topic of ice cubes.

She claimed about 75% of men could be "reset" by cooling off the testicles dramatically. Her preferred method was to put ice cubes in her mouth and to (depending on level of ticklishness) either lick the testicles or suck them into her mouth.

She also claimed that about 90% of men needed to be reset, but then again in her price range she was mostly dealing with established professional men, presumably a lot older than 25.

Oh, and because no thread on this topic would be complete without this joke, I dutifully present it:

What's the difference between worry and panic?

Worry is the first time you can't do it the second time. Panic is the second time you can't do it the first time.

posted by tkolar at 11:09 AM on March 13, 2006 [1 favorite]

Prolactin, a hormone, produces a feeling of satisfaction and interferes with further erections. Studies show prolacatin is secreted into males' bloodstreams after sex with someone they, for lack of a better word, "love" or "care about". It is not generaly prolactin after masturbation.

So if you want to keep going like a rabbit or a porn star, make sure to only copulate with women you don't care about. You might experiment with "grudge fucking" or copulation while angry.
posted by orthogonality at 11:59 AM on March 13, 2006