How to support a family dealing with a medium-term medical issue?
February 23, 2020 10:00 AM Subscribe
My family member has 2 kids, one who is about 6 and one who is about 2. They just learned that the younger one has an orthopedic issue (likely has been present from birth) and will need to have surgery to correct it. The rehabilitation period will include being in basically a full-body cast for 3 months afterwards. I would like to send them something(s) to make their lives easier during or after the surgery period.
This family lives about an hour south of Chicago, in a very car-centric, economically depressed area. They are in a very tight financial situation. Both parents work full-time. The children are both girls and seem to be into stereotypical girly stuff. Parents are fine with screen time and branded toys, so all of that is on the table.
I cannot imagine dealing with a toddler in a huge cast for multiple months. I'm sure the child is going to be pretty stir-crazy, the parents will be (even more) overburdened, and the older sibling will feel neglected. I would like to send some things to make life better for any/all of them. Budget is up to $200.
Notes: Dad of the family is a crazy picky eater. The family does not have time for elaborate meals or fancy cooking, so I think straight up grocery gift cards (or just money?) would be far superior to something like Hello Fresh or Blue Apron.
I think some amount of just cash or gift cards would be good, but I'd like a few more personalized items too.
This family lives about an hour south of Chicago, in a very car-centric, economically depressed area. They are in a very tight financial situation. Both parents work full-time. The children are both girls and seem to be into stereotypical girly stuff. Parents are fine with screen time and branded toys, so all of that is on the table.
I cannot imagine dealing with a toddler in a huge cast for multiple months. I'm sure the child is going to be pretty stir-crazy, the parents will be (even more) overburdened, and the older sibling will feel neglected. I would like to send some things to make life better for any/all of them. Budget is up to $200.
Notes: Dad of the family is a crazy picky eater. The family does not have time for elaborate meals or fancy cooking, so I think straight up grocery gift cards (or just money?) would be far superior to something like Hello Fresh or Blue Apron.
I think some amount of just cash or gift cards would be good, but I'd like a few more personalized items too.
> A subscription to Disney+ if they don’t already have it would be awesome.
Seconding that -- I think it's your best first choice. Maybe a tablet to watch on, that can be propped up where the kid in the cast can see it?
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:37 AM on February 23, 2020
Seconding that -- I think it's your best first choice. Maybe a tablet to watch on, that can be propped up where the kid in the cast can see it?
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:37 AM on February 23, 2020
Do they have a tablet and a stand for it? Recovering child will benefit from being moved to different rooms/ outside just for any change. And recovering child will have 1st dibs for what's on, so the mobile child will want options. Do you have netflix, hulu, disney+, amazon prime video, etc.? Share your logins. Variety is going to be huge. Book & audio combinations that maybe 6 year old can 'read' to 2 year old. Kids music.
Weekly packages, if possible. Small amounts of different snack foods and candy, books of jokes. If I was a parent in this situation, I'd get art supplies and have the family and visitors decorate the cast as well as a huge piece of heavy paper on the wall of the child's bedroom.
Every day or 2, look for cute youtube videos and send an email with a note and links. Silly cats, funny stuff, but also, a lot of classic Sesame Street and story-telling is on there. If several people did this, it could help structure as much as an hour or so and give both kids attention.
posted by theora55 at 11:30 AM on February 23, 2020
Weekly packages, if possible. Small amounts of different snack foods and candy, books of jokes. If I was a parent in this situation, I'd get art supplies and have the family and visitors decorate the cast as well as a huge piece of heavy paper on the wall of the child's bedroom.
Every day or 2, look for cute youtube videos and send an email with a note and links. Silly cats, funny stuff, but also, a lot of classic Sesame Street and story-telling is on there. If several people did this, it could help structure as much as an hour or so and give both kids attention.
posted by theora55 at 11:30 AM on February 23, 2020
Our three-year-old spent a month in a full body cast this summer, thanks to a broken hip.
1. Will the child be able to fit into her current car seat? Depending on the exact shape of the cast, she may or may not. If not, there are special car seats and harnesses which can help, but these can be expensive. This could perhaps be a way for you to contribute.
2. What kept my son and husband sane was the fact that they were close to lots of family, who came often to visit. It was like a party there much of the time. Can you plan a visit during the period when the child will be in a cast? Is there any other way that you can help facilitate social time for the family?
3. The child may not fit well in a stroller, either. Wagons can help.
posted by wyzewoman at 3:15 PM on February 23, 2020 [3 favorites]
1. Will the child be able to fit into her current car seat? Depending on the exact shape of the cast, she may or may not. If not, there are special car seats and harnesses which can help, but these can be expensive. This could perhaps be a way for you to contribute.
2. What kept my son and husband sane was the fact that they were close to lots of family, who came often to visit. It was like a party there much of the time. Can you plan a visit during the period when the child will be in a cast? Is there any other way that you can help facilitate social time for the family?
3. The child may not fit well in a stroller, either. Wagons can help.
posted by wyzewoman at 3:15 PM on February 23, 2020 [3 favorites]
My husband adds: grocery shopping is a huge pain if you need to cart the child with you. So he says any way you can help the family get supplied with food.
posted by wyzewoman at 4:01 PM on February 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by wyzewoman at 4:01 PM on February 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
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For the two year old, some ideas to look into if she’ll be able to move her arms/hands and be in a position where this is possible are things like Water Wow books, reusable sticker pads/books, or On-the-Go coloring books that use a single marker. Basically, stuff she could do while immobilized in a car seat should work okay here too.
A subscription to Disney+ if they don’t already have it would be awesome.
For the older kiddo, maybe a monthly little care package just for her with inexpensive stuff? CVS and similar often have tiny packs of bubbles and Frozen coloring books etc. for very very cheap. The point would be less to provide something big and awesome and more to provide some small things regularly that made her feel special and singled out for attention.
I have a two year old and can’t imagine trying to keep him happy in a full body cast. You are a good person for helping out with this. I wish them a speedy recovery for their kiddo and a lot of help and patience.
posted by bananacabana at 10:29 AM on February 23, 2020 [3 favorites]