Small condo bullding. Birds from our feeder caused damage to a car.

December 8, 2018 7:02 PM

Our suet bird feeder draws birds. They pooped on our neighbor's new used car. She didn't say anything about it - took it to the car wash. Now we have a problem.

The poop didn't come off so she scraped it off herself (don't know with what) - now her car is damaged - about a 4" area of scratches on the hood.
We feel terrible about it.
What should we do?

posted by Tullyogallaghan to Human Relations (18 answers total)

Nothing. She damaged her paint by scraping it. There are many, many options that should have been explored before scraping.
posted by sacrifix at 7:06 PM on December 8, 2018 [77 favorites]

You’re very thoughtful, but I don’t think you have any responsibility here to your neighbor. These weren’t your pets that pooped on her car. She either parked close enough to the bird feeder to see it and was taking a calculated risk, or far enough away that there’s no way of knowing if the bird who pooped on her car was one that had visited your feeder. If you really feel bad, then maybe move the bird feeder to an area that farther away from where anyone parks their car (or if that’s not possible, consider removing it entirely). But I don’t think you are under any obligation to pay for the damage.
posted by amro at 7:07 PM on December 8, 2018 [3 favorites]

Adding: sacrifix’s point is also a good one that didn’t occur to me.
posted by amro at 7:08 PM on December 8, 2018

Not your problem, you're not responsible for birdshit. It sucks, but seriously this is not your fault. She parked under some birds, they shat on her car, she scraped it off and damaged the paint in so doing. It could have been someone else's feeder, or a tree, or a telephone wire—that it happened to be your feeder she parked under is not super relevant. Birds shit on cars all the time.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 7:08 PM on December 8, 2018 [7 favorites]

Offer to move the feeder away from the parking, or take it down for a while if there's nowhere else for it. Don't offer money.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 7:24 PM on December 8, 2018

Did she approach you about it?
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:32 PM on December 8, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks. We already took the feeder down. Its a tight parking lot and her car was closest to the feeder.
We are going to offer to hand buff it for her with some product that has worked on our car.
We offered her a professional car wash to remove it but she had already scraped it by that point.
posted by Tullyogallaghan at 7:32 PM on December 8, 2018

This seems like a perfect time to admit zero culpability.
posted by Grandysaur at 7:38 PM on December 8, 2018 [24 favorites]

That is very generous of you. I mean that, good on you for trying to help. Moving the feeder was probably also the conscientious thing to do. It sounds like you've already offered apologies as well. I think you can feel like you've done your duty here at this point. If you were my neighbor, I would feel like you'd done me right.

Seriously though, you're OK here. The circumstances are lousy, but they're just circumstances. It's just one of those things. Shit happens, you know?
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 7:40 PM on December 8, 2018 [7 favorites]

Yeah, the birds didn’t damage the car, the car owner did. You’re good.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 8:23 PM on December 8, 2018 [12 favorites]

I have a new new car and birds poop on it all the time. If it hardens to the point of needing a scrape, I clean it off by pouring water on it to soften it then gently wiping it with a microfiber rag, or waiting for it to rain and taking it through a pressure wash, or basically anything other than scratching on the paint with something hard enough to damage it. If you soften it up first usually it will wipe right off. I have never scratched the paint.

She did that; not you, not the feeder, not the birds, not the poop. The person who scraped on the car did that.
posted by glonous keming at 8:39 PM on December 8, 2018 [12 favorites]

the kind thing was for you to move the feeder and you did that. Scraping so hard that she damaged car paint is 100% on her.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:57 PM on December 8, 2018 [7 favorites]

We are going to offer to hand buff it

This offer would be admitting guilt for a problem you did not create, and would possibly blossom into a demand for an even more expensive repair. How do you know about the scratches - did you notice this yourself, or did neighbor point it out? Could the scratches possibly have been there before?
posted by Rash at 9:11 PM on December 8, 2018 [21 favorites]

Stop offering to do things. Don't even talk to her about it any more. You're acting like you killed her sister. You removed the feeder, that's enough.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 12:45 AM on December 9, 2018 [19 favorites]

Bird poop on a car should never be scratched off. If it doesn't come off with a wash, it should be soaked for half an hour, then it will come off easily; if that still doesn't work, it needs chemicals. NEVER scrape with a hard object, that's just looking for trouble. Bird poop on cars is a fact of life, and people need to know how to deal with it correctly, regardless of where the poop came from.

Your neighbour screwed up, not you.
posted by fearnothing at 2:22 AM on December 9, 2018 [4 favorites]

You have literally no way of knowing whether the birds that pooped on your neighbor’s car even ate the food at your bird feeder. You have zero control over whether wild birds choose to eat or poop. The only reason this neighbor is blaming you for “making” her ruin her own car is because you were the neighbor closest to her parking spot.

I agree that you should definitely stop admitting fault, stop discussing it with your neighbor, do not offer to buff it out or do anything, and leave it at that. This is not remotely your fault. This would be like if your neighbor blamed you for tree sap because your place had a pine tree growing next to it. You are not responsible for Nature doing what Nature does! Much less how your neighbor chose to handle things on her own. After all, none of this was a problem until she scratched the paint off her own car, realized her mistake, and decided to try to recoup her loss from someone else’s pockets. Yeah, nope.
posted by Autumnheart at 6:11 AM on December 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

Unless the feeder is literally hanging over her car, in which it's still her fault for parking there, there is zero causation between the bird feeder and the bird poop on her car.
posted by COD at 6:22 AM on December 9, 2018 [2 favorites]

Unless you trained the birds to poop on the car, then used a blowtorch to harden the poop, then forced your neighbor at gunpoint to go at the poop with a Brillo pad, you have absolutely no culpability here.

Did you do ANY of those three things? Then maybe you have a little bit of blame coming. But unless you did ALL THREE, it's 1000% not on you.
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 6:44 AM on December 9, 2018 [1 favorite]