Should I dump/replace my shrink?
February 17, 2018 12:14 AM Subscribe
I've seen my current therapist for about five years, for depression and ADHD. I've had periodic depressive spells, but one hit quite hard late last year and hasn't really abated. I'm pretty dissatisfied with therapy, but it's hard for me to tease out whether my dissatisfaction has to with my depression or my therapy.
I've been dissatisfied with therapy for a while - it's expensive, and I've frequently felt like I just go in to rehash what's bothering me about work or my family, while getting a kind of punchlist from my therapist of things I should do. When I'm not really doing well, my productivity goes to shit, I just don't get anything done, and therapy starts to feel like another opportunity for somebody to list out all the things I should be doing. I'm trying to decide if my dissatisfaction indicates that the relationship is broken or if it's just the product of depression. I'm curious to hear other folks' thoughts/experiences.
I've been dissatisfied with therapy for a while - it's expensive, and I've frequently felt like I just go in to rehash what's bothering me about work or my family, while getting a kind of punchlist from my therapist of things I should do. When I'm not really doing well, my productivity goes to shit, I just don't get anything done, and therapy starts to feel like another opportunity for somebody to list out all the things I should be doing. I'm trying to decide if my dissatisfaction indicates that the relationship is broken or if it's just the product of depression. I'm curious to hear other folks' thoughts/experiences.
This therapy is not working for you. You gave it a fair shot and it didn’t deliver results. Feel free to take a break from it and move on.
Take your time and money and explore different avenues -a doctor, exercise, nutrition, etc. You can take the money you spent on the therapist and hire house cleaners or other people to take care of tasks you’re not really capable of doing. As long as you’re seriously investing something into treating your depression, you’re good. It doesn’t have to be therapy. Good luck and feel better.
posted by crazycanuck at 8:01 AM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
Take your time and money and explore different avenues -a doctor, exercise, nutrition, etc. You can take the money you spent on the therapist and hire house cleaners or other people to take care of tasks you’re not really capable of doing. As long as you’re seriously investing something into treating your depression, you’re good. It doesn’t have to be therapy. Good luck and feel better.
posted by crazycanuck at 8:01 AM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
Therapy should be a space where you feel like you are making progress. I would recommend going to a psychiatrist and getting an assessment and finding a therapist better suited for your needs and explore different modalities.
posted by yueliang at 10:10 AM on February 17, 2018
posted by yueliang at 10:10 AM on February 17, 2018
If your therapist is giving advice rather than helping you find your own solutions, that's not good therapy. This article, The Best Advice a Therapist Could Get? Stop Giving Advice, might be a helpful read; if it describes your therapist, then you might just be getting bad therapy.
posted by lazuli at 11:49 AM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by lazuli at 11:49 AM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
When I'm not really doing well, my productivity goes to shit, I just don't get anything done, and therapy starts to feel like another opportunity for somebody to list out all the things I should be doing.
So, the question is - how much of this is your depression talking? How did you feel about your therapist before this episode started? Is your therapist really just listing out what you are failing at or is that hyperbole?
It is entirely possible that your work with this therapist is stagnating but before quitting it might be worth talking about these feelings with your therapist. However the talk goes, it will give you information you can use to decide what to do next.
posted by metahawk at 8:58 PM on February 17, 2018
So, the question is - how much of this is your depression talking? How did you feel about your therapist before this episode started? Is your therapist really just listing out what you are failing at or is that hyperbole?
It is entirely possible that your work with this therapist is stagnating but before quitting it might be worth talking about these feelings with your therapist. However the talk goes, it will give you information you can use to decide what to do next.
posted by metahawk at 8:58 PM on February 17, 2018
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Anecdata - many years ago I was similarly frustrated abt feeling like I wasn't making progress in therapy. I was referred to a psychiatrist who prescribed Adderall for ADD - made a.world of difference in my life and I dropped the talk therapy shortly after.
posted by she's not there at 1:34 AM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]