Popstar/Protégé Kink over Distance
November 30, 2016 12:13 AM   Subscribe

My long-distance girlfriend and I are going to try a roleplay D/s esque scenario where she's the Popstar and I'm their protégé/assistant/houseboi type person. What sort of things could we do over distance?

This specific fantasy (being the houseboi of my favorite pop star basically) is one that I've had for a long time, but it's only been in the last couple of days that I talked to my girlfriend about it and she's very keen on giving this a go. She's not very familiar with the popstar in question so I've basically given her my music collection, some pictures, and some notes for her to build her character.

She and I both have a little experience with D/s power exchange in either direction in past relationships, though I think she has more experience especially in the Dominant role than I do as a submissive type. We're both more casual take-it-or-leave it players when it comes to kink, so we're not envisioning this to be a 24/7 or even close to full time thing, just a scenario we play with from time to time.

She and I live on opposite sides of the world, though we chat daily on WhatsApp and also occasionally on the phone (video is an option though not one we've used yet). There is a good window of time where we're both available to chat and do other things, especially since we both have flexible schedules.

I had envisioned this to be close to service kink, but what kind of service can one do at a distance? Especially stuff that befits the mentor/protégé angle? The only thing I've thought of is me editing her writing (we're both artsy). I'm not big on humiliation but I do enjoy the idea of tough love, doing things for others, and perhaps being told how to be more creative ("you should write more") interlaced with some serious sexual tension and perhaps relief.

Since we're both female but both characters in this scenario are male (by design) it could be interesting to incorporate some gender play stuff here as well. She's roleplayed guys before, the closest I've come to that is performing drag but this seems like a really interesting avenue to explore masculinity (albeit a probably less Manly Man one).

Someone had suggested looking at fanfic for ideas, but there's not a lot of fanfic left about this guy in particular that really covers this ground and I'm not sure where to find similar stories.

Throwaway email : popstarcrush@forward.cat
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (2 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

might be worth asking on Fetlife too?
posted by runincircles at 3:49 AM on November 30, 2016

Oh, cool! This sounds like a fun scenario and you two are going to have a blast.

Some questions for y'all to discuss:

How important is it to you that the service you provide be genuinely IRL useful to your girlfriend?

How important is it that the "mentoring" component of the power dynamic be genuinely IRL beneficial to you?

Other than the appeal of seeing you happy, what's in it for your girlfriend? Does this intersect with fantasies of hers?

Would it make the genderfuck part of the fantasy hotter if you were given specifically male-coded tasks to do?

Depending on the answers to those questions, some things you might do are:
  • Domestic "service" in your own life: cleaning your own place, fixing your own car, balancing your own checkbook, or whatever, but doing it in the mindset that it's "for" her.
  • Online errands for your girlfriend: researching online purchases or travel plans, for instance, or serving as her own personal AskMe and finding answers to questions she has.
  • Writing to specific prompts that she gives you. If either of you is into written erotica, writing based on fantasies she finds hot.
  • Following sexy orders ("send pics" etc).
  • Planning visits in a "personal assistant" sort of way: she's like "here are the things I want to do when I'm in town" and you set the schedule and make arrangements.
  • If she's up for it, doing stuff like keeping a calendar and making appointments for her even when she's not visiting, though that starts to creep into lifestyle-service territory.
  • Doing totally unnecessary stuff that fits the pop star fantasy: think "outrageous rockstar tour rider requirements." Sort m&ms, send flowers, hunt down specific beloved foods.
  • Write her a song! Do a dance to go with it! Maybe even let her critique it!
This is admittedly pretty skewed towards practical service stuff, because that's my own preferred dynamic. If that stuff interests you, even if you're not at all into 24-7/lifestyle service and just enjoy playing with it occasionally, I'd also recommend the book Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny, which has lots of great advice on making this sort of thing work in real relationships. (And if practical service is not your thing, that is awesome and 100% valid and you are still gonna have so much fun, and I'm sure other folks who play more like you will have other suggestions that suit you better.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:06 AM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

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