Is it OK to take a break from my education?

March 28, 2016 7:34 AM

Mental health issues are derailing my education. I feel extreme pressure to stay in school. Logic is telling me I should take a break but I have no idea what to do.

I have been dealing with generalized anxiety and panic disorder for most of my life. I have also suffered from depression at times (primarily stemming from the anxiety). OCD, social anxiety, health anxiety, phobias, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts - if it's in any way associated with the DSM definition of an anxiety disorder I've probably experienced it at some point.

I was on medication during my time in high school which allowed me to function fairly well. My symptoms were still a major issue but I made it through with high marks and was accepted into an amazing university. Unfortunately, within a month of arriving at said school I suffered a breakdown and withdrew.

Since then (5.5 years ago) my life has been the equivalent of a roller coaster ride with more down periods than good times. I did re-enroll in school a year later, obtained my associate's degree and have been at least part-time ever since while working in IT. However, I am nowhere near where I envisioned myself at this point all those years ago.

I have switched majors five or six times since beginning college. All of these decisions were driven purely by anxiety. I have consistently withdrawn from at least one or two classes each semester, leaving me in a weird spot where I have the first two years of almost any degree out of the way but few actual major courses. I have also racked up debt. Funny enough, I am absolutely certain that in a world where my mental health concerns were much less of an issue I'd be a very capable student. In fact, I still hold a great GPA (W's notwithstanding) and have completed a full sequence of chemistry, physics, and math up to Calc III and Differential Equations.

This semester has been extraordinarily tough, to say the least. My panic attacks have become more frequent and I have been suffering from brief episodes of derealization/depersonalization. My sleep is off, my mood is generally terrible and I have gained weight. Most of this boils down to anxiety about the future - I recently turned 24 and am having an identity crisis.

I have attempted to tackle my anxiety while also taking classes in the past. Every single time this has resulted in me performing worse in both areas. I am starting to think that it is not wise for me to continue down this path. In other words, I need to take a break from school while I sort out the number one priority in my life: mental and physical well-being.

Coming to this realization has been incredibly difficult for me. I have kept up appearances, so to speak. Most of my friends and family think I have it all together and am graduating shortly. There is an immense amount of pressure on me, both in my personal life and from society, to finish my education and go on to do amazing things. If I am being honest with myself, I really don't even know what I want to do with my life. I am fairly content with the idea of staying in IT for a few years while I sort things out.

I just recently had an intake with a new therapist who practices a combination of CBT, ACT and mindfulness. I really liked what I heard from him. Medication is out of the picture now - SSRI's stopped working for me years ago (I have tried many of them).

Does anyone have experience with a situation similar to this? Am I justified in my decision to prioritize my health over education for now? Is it possible to go back to school down the road with a clear head and do really well for myself?

posted by anonymous to Education (17 answers total)

If you are unable to work on school effectively due to whatever is going on (for me, it was a 5-year break due to financial difficulties), do it. I found when I took a break and came back ready to give my full attention to school, I excelled, where before I'd struggled.
posted by xingcat at 7:43 AM on March 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

Yes! Prioritize your health and yourself. 24 is not particularly old, you can always go back to school - and if you are doing better in general, you will definitely do better as a student.

In a broader sense, it doesn't sound like you know what you want to do in life (other than amazing things) and what you want a degree in. Take some time and see if that develops.
posted by ssg at 7:46 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

People may warn you that if you quit you're way less likely to go back, and the data backs them up on that. But here's the thing; you aren't going to graduate like this, either. Better to take a break and get your health in order than to keep pressing on because you "should" until you eventually can't hold it together and start failing classes. I bet your therapist can help you work through telling friends and family what's up and helping you to work through "letting them down" (scare quotes here because you aren't, even if it feels like it).
posted by hollyholly at 7:48 AM on March 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

Taking a break worked out well for me. I really enjoyed college when I went back. Knowing you can do that any time, because you have such a good record, is awesome. As a plus, you won't have the problem a lot of undergraduates do where they have no idea how to function in the post-college world. You're already doing that.
posted by BibiRose at 7:48 AM on March 28, 2016

"I have kept up appearances, so to speak. Most of my friends and family think I have it all together and am graduating shortly. There is an immense amount of pressure on me, both in my personal life and from society, to finish my education and go on to do amazing things."

I don't know you, or your family, and different families and friend-groups have different perspectives and judgements about mental health stuff. But I've felt a little bit of that pressure before, and in retrospect I really wish I'd been honest with people instead. If you feel at all that you can, be honest with them and give them the chance to rise to the occasion and be (emotionally) supportive.
posted by needs more cowbell at 7:55 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Take the break! I was forced to leave school after trying to push through a major depressive episode -- I failed, and ended up in the hospital after a suicide attempt. When I came back after a year and a half, I was able to focus on my studies and actually benefit from school (rather than just enduring through it). It was difficult, and I had to start over on many things. But ultimately it was the only way forward, as I just could not gain anything from school in the mental state I had been in. For me, depression acts like a trap -- I can only see one way forward and it is not a pleasant one. Before it starts to look like there is only one way out, I have to shift perspective and force myself to see all the possibilities. Leaving school did that for me, because all of a sudden I had many paths forward.

Unfortunately, I had to start my journey in a hospital. You have the power right now to jump out of your trap and find a new path. Relieve yourself of the obligation to finish school, and by itself that may relieve a bunch of anxiety and let you focus on the deeper issues.

Your health is far more important than any other concern about school, and schools are increasingly understanding about these things. Take a leave for as long as you need, and get some help. When you decide to go back (or find a different path, cause that's possible also) it will be on terms you feel comfortable with and with a new understanding of what you need to stay healthy.

You can do this! It will be hard, but it will also be worth it.
posted by cubby at 7:56 AM on March 28, 2016

Am I justified in my decision to prioritize my health over education for now?

This isn't actually the choice that you're making right now. The choice you're making right now is to continue the same pattern, which is to take classes, sink yourself further into debt, and not make major progress toward the degree, or to take a break in the hope that once you have your problems more under control, you can return.

Both choices carry risks. But if you stay, you're not prioritizing your education. You're staying because the choice to leave is hard, because you're worried about what people will think of you, how you will go back, etc--it's inertia. You clearly need to do something different, though, not to keep repeating the same pattern.

I think you should take a break.

I had health issues, including mental health issues brought on by them, that meant my undergraduate experience was very rocky. I took breaks and it was a good decision. I did go back, and am now in graduate school.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:09 AM on March 28, 2016

Do it. It's taken me 8 long years to graduate and that's not including the year I took off after graduating high school. it's better to take the time off to get your life together rather then push through and have your grades suffer. Ask me how I know. Just be determined to do well when you do go back to school.

Your health is the most important, that includes your mental well-being. Take care of yourself and hopefully you will excel in the long run.
posted by lunastellasol at 8:14 AM on March 28, 2016

I think you should take a break, too. I struggled through undergrad - barely, with major switches and a terrible GPA - because I didn't prioritize my health. Looking back, it would have been much wiser to take a year (or hell, two!) of leave, sort out my mental health, and come back to finish. I would have gotten more out of the education, been far more stable and happier, and also had a better GPA, research experience, etc. to help me get my first job (or go to grad school if that had been my chosen path).

I know several people who took time off for a variety of reasons, mental health and otherwise, and went back later to have a really great experience with the rest of their education. It is absolutely do-able.

The primary risk is that you never go back and finish. It's a definite risk, to be weighed carefully. But in your case, with associate's and real work experience under your belt, and a specific reason for taking the time off, I think it's a lot less worrisome than it is for many people. It sounds like you'll probably come back; but if you don't, you've already got work experience and contacts and won't be flailing around with no ability to get a career started, either.

If a stranger's permission to take care of yourself is helpful, you have it. Take care of yourself.
posted by Stacey at 8:25 AM on March 28, 2016

You're working? Oh yeah, go on ahead and drop out. It's not going anywhere (as you've discovered.)

Anyone asks, just tell them, "Things go hairy at work, so I'm pausing that until it calms down."

So, get back on an even keel, it'll be fine. (Said the person who took 7 years to finish undergrad.)
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:27 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh, yeah, another thing. When you go back, pick whatever major it is you have the most credits towards graduation and just finish that one.

What you majored in at university is the least meaningful thing to a potential employer. (Says the person with the degree in English Literature.)

I'm serious as death eating crackers.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:28 AM on March 28, 2016 [4 favorites]

And ANOTHER thing. IT is an awesome place to be and it's one of the best places to be with no degree.

I know people with amazing careers who didn't finish college and who are directors in IT.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:29 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Another thing to consider:

Is part-time coursework an option for you?

This may not be an option now. You need to know what degree you want, and you need to know that the course will be manageable.

But I did a lot of part-time coursework when I didn't feel like I could handle full-time coursework. It doesn't have to be black-and-white. I think you need to take some real time off, but perhaps part-time work could be part of your plan for returning to school once you're ready. Easing into it, so to speak. It worked well for me.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:44 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have worked and done part-time almost throughout my degree and honestly I would've benefited so much more by taking some off to recharge.
posted by lunastellasol at 9:02 AM on March 28, 2016

Who at your school have you talked to about the best route for you? Can you talk to the Dean of Students or some similar?

I'm behind you taking a break, but it may be less anxiety inducing if you know exactly what you need to do when you want to go back and what the best paths are to do that either at your current college or a transfer-friendly institution.
posted by typecloud at 9:12 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

I took a significant amount time off during college (and also spent a few semesters with a part-time course load) for a host of personal and family-related issues. It took me awhile, but I graduated with my GPA and mental health in tact. You can do it. People will tell you you won't be able to finish once you leave, your acquaintances may whisper their doubts behind your back, but as long as you know it's something you want to accomplish, you can do it. Don't listen to them or worry about anything but your own wellbeing. Just be sure to communicate with your university's administration. From my experience, they are incredibly accommodating to students who are going through rough patches. They want the best for you.
posted by moxie_milquetoast at 10:47 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think you should consult with some medical professionals about your options for schooling and recommendations for time off and the advisability of this accommodation.

Before taking leave, consider that you will need some structure to your day while you are off. Work only might be sufficient structure, part-time schooling might be sufficient structure, a mental health program might be sufficient structure. An unstructured break might actually make your anxiety worse since it will magnify your social pressure. A treatment team can help you make informed choices. Also, your treatment team can help you get medical leave from school, which could make it easier to return later if this is your intention.

As an aside, if you are looking for short-term relief for severe symptoms such as panic attacks, derealization, sleep, etc be advised that therapy takes time. You will likely feel better from therapy, but it will take months. Also be advised that therapy can make you feel worse before you feel better, a good therapist would have advised you of this in the first session. There are loads of medical options for you aside from SSRIs, if your problems are severe enough to impact your daily functioning and reconsider your occupation I would urge you to reconsider psychiatric treatment. You would likely be given treatments that will make you feel better in days to weeks, not months. Worth a thought.
posted by crazycanuck at 10:49 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]