How do I say no to cat sitting a diabetic cat?

January 26, 2016 8:02 AM

A neighbor I don't know very well has asked me to take care of her cats for a few days. 2 of the 7 cats require twice daily pills and/or insulin. My own cat is diabetic so I know the routine. I don't know this person very well and I have never met her cats. She is willing to pay, but it's not about the money. I just don't want the responsibility or the time commitment. I have a really hard time saying no, but I KNOW I would regret agreeing to this. What is a friendly, but honest way to decline is request? PS- I have taken care of other neighbor's cats before but they are friends and the cats are low maintenance.
posted by nevertoolate to Human Relations (18 answers total)

"I'm sorry, that won't be possible."

A classic that will work well here.
posted by hollyholly at 8:05 AM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

"I'm sorry, I don't have the time right now to give your cats the care they deserve. I want your pets to be safe and cared for and with my schedule I'm not able to provide that right now."
posted by phunniemee at 8:06 AM on January 26, 2016 [30 favorites]

"It's not about the money. I just don't want the responsibility or the time commitment."

Easy-peasy.
posted by paulcole at 8:08 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

Refer her to a pet-sitting app.
posted by cacao at 8:10 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

"I just would feel overwhelmed. I am so sorry."

Advantage: true.
posted by bearwife at 8:10 AM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]

I would probably be a bit more circumspect and say I couldn't as I'm terrible about giving pills to other people's cats. She will then say "oh it's easy I'll show you" and then I would keep repeating "no I'm sorry I can't" until she gives up. To my southern ears a "no I can't" without dressing it up at all sounds harsh but a little white lie is a good social lubricant.
posted by hazyjane at 8:12 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: You could also tell her that you're really not comfortable administering medicine to someone else's cats. Whether or not that's actually true, it's a perfectly reasonable excuse; I have one cat who often requires pills and injections so I'm very accustomed to it, and I wouldn't agree to give medicine to someone else's cat. Too much room for error and really bad results if error does happen.

On preview, what hazyjane said.
posted by holborne at 8:13 AM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]

"I'm sorry, I've got too much on my plate right now, so I can't."
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:13 AM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]

"I checked my calendar and it won't be possible for me to do this. Here's XYZ petsitting service's number, they might be a good option."
posted by quince at 8:14 AM on January 26, 2016

"I wish I could but I'm unavailable! Thank you for thinking of me!"
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:19 AM on January 26, 2016

7 cats?! My God, just say you can't handle it.
posted by jabes at 8:24 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

You've got great options for just saying no.

The core issue is that if you give a practical reason for not doing something, the person who wants you to do it will try to solve your practical reason, and it will turn into a bad sitcom plot. If your real reason is "I don't feel like it", you either need to have a bulletproof excuse, or give no reason at all - or just admit the real issue.

So you can say you're busy or out of town, and they'll probably ask you next time. You can say you're not comfortable giving medicine to other cats, and have to sit through multiple iterations of the "it's not hard"/"really, no." dance
You can say you're not comfortable with high-risk cats and you refuse to be in a situation where you might have to call the vet, and do the "but that won't happen"/"but what if it does" dance.
You can say "I like cats fine, but I'm really not a pet-sitter", and hope she never talks to the other neighbor. Followed by "It's not about the money. I really can't handle the responsibility or the time commitment."
posted by aimedwander at 8:31 AM on January 26, 2016

If she's willing to pay, she'll be able to pay someone else. Don't worry about it.
posted by acidic at 8:32 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

"I am really forgetful, I know I won't be able to keep track of which cat got what medicine and when!"
posted by Dragonness at 9:50 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I tend to put on a really uncomfortable face, say I really can't do it and mutter something about how I did this once, and it did not end well, you understand me.

It's great in a number of different situations, you can channel your discomfort to maximum effect, the requests are immediately withdrawn and nobody asks what actually happened.
posted by Omnomnom at 12:27 PM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]

"Sorry, I'm not comfortable taking on the commitment of someone else's beloved sick pets. Too high stakes! Here's a pet sitter's number, I hear they're good." Ideally do it by text, it's not the kind of conversation that even requires a face to face. She barely knows you so it's not like she has huge friend expectations of you. I wouldn't think twice about saying no to what's basically a request from a stranger. Seven cats, geez, no wonder she needs a holiday.
posted by Jubey at 1:14 PM on January 26, 2016

Keep in mind you are under no obligation to offer an excuse to this person. Saying "no, that won't be possible" is a completely fine and polite way of saying no. And whatever you do, do it sooner rather than later so they have time to come up with an alternative; sitting on this for a long time when you know the answer is "no" is the thing *I'd* consider rude.
posted by Aleyn at 2:51 PM on January 27, 2016

My go-to "polite but succinct" response for situations like this is "I'm sorry, I gave it some thought and I'm just not comfortable with the idea."
posted by Pizzarina Sbarro at 4:05 PM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]