Setting boundaries and graciously saying no
March 5, 2008 3:01 PM Subscribe
I am NOT good at setting boundaries with people. For example I have a male neighbor who is as nice as he can be but is VERY talkative and boring to me. He drops by our house unannounced and has hours to spend talking with me. I have to cut him off and I am not good at it.
posted by seekingsimplicity to human relations (26 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
It is probably my co-dependence. I seem to want to be nice to him even though I am bored out of my mind. Also, I am not good at thinking of excuses at the drop of a hat to give people when I do not want to do something.
I am an otherwise confident person but in this area I am a PEOPLE PLEASER!
My biking partner can almost always talk me into a ride even when I do not want to ride!
My neighbor can have me stand there listening to him for a good half hour! This winter he asked me if he can have me over for iced tea next summer to discuss my time in France and I said sure. He is just being neighborly (he is married and so am I) and I do not want to go but could not quickly think of why I could not go to his back porch for tea next summer!
I am not able to quickly think of a plausible excuse when I am asked to do something I do not want to do. I cannot lie quickly on my feet!
Anybody know how I can learn to take care of myself and be gracious at the same time?