Can I go to AA meetings and still use cocaine recreationally?
July 31, 2015 7:08 AM Subscribe
My drinking is out of control. I've tried to cut down and I can't. It's ruining my relationship, making me irritable and anxious throughout the day, and I've made incredibly dangerous decisions while drunk. I have no one to talk to about this and I want to try AA. However, I would like to continue using coke on occasion.
I use cocaine maybe three times a year, for the past 4 years. I'm a 28 year old woman. I've never felt the need to increase my use, and while my alcohol intake has fluctuated over those past 10 years, my cocaine usage has stayed consistent. Basically my boyfriend and I use coke, hole up together and have long fun conversations (and sex). Probably 3-4 lines each time.
Could AA still work for me? I feel like my alcohol use is a completely different beast than my cocaine use. I start drinking and sometimes I just can't stop and I will sneak shots and then pick terrible dramatic fights with my boyfriend. He will wake me up sweetly when I'm passed out and I will rage at him over something that happened earlier in the day and then lock him out of the bedroom. A few nights ago I ran away while drunk and hid in the woods so that my boyfriend had to come find me.
I don't feel ready to quit drinking but I know I will have to. AA is the only way I can think to do it but I know how they feel about substance use. And honestly I really don't want to quit drinking or using cocaine. With drinking, I love having lazy evenings and late night drunken conversations with friends. Drinking is ruining my life, coke isnt. How do I make myself want to quit. Please advise.
I use cocaine maybe three times a year, for the past 4 years. I'm a 28 year old woman. I've never felt the need to increase my use, and while my alcohol intake has fluctuated over those past 10 years, my cocaine usage has stayed consistent. Basically my boyfriend and I use coke, hole up together and have long fun conversations (and sex). Probably 3-4 lines each time.
Could AA still work for me? I feel like my alcohol use is a completely different beast than my cocaine use. I start drinking and sometimes I just can't stop and I will sneak shots and then pick terrible dramatic fights with my boyfriend. He will wake me up sweetly when I'm passed out and I will rage at him over something that happened earlier in the day and then lock him out of the bedroom. A few nights ago I ran away while drunk and hid in the woods so that my boyfriend had to come find me.
I don't feel ready to quit drinking but I know I will have to. AA is the only way I can think to do it but I know how they feel about substance use. And honestly I really don't want to quit drinking or using cocaine. With drinking, I love having lazy evenings and late night drunken conversations with friends. Drinking is ruining my life, coke isnt. How do I make myself want to quit. Please advise.
I'll skip over the drugs are bad mmmkay bit and also the AA doesn't work too well bit. If you want to quit drinking by working the program and still keep using, the other people in AA will not consider you sober. So to work the program you'll have to keep the coke a secret, and keeping secrets is probably a bad way to work it. It's kind of like starting a relationship based on lies.
You might want to look into Moderation Management.
posted by dis_integration at 7:18 AM on July 31, 2015 [15 favorites]
You might want to look into Moderation Management.
posted by dis_integration at 7:18 AM on July 31, 2015 [15 favorites]
AA meetings themselves don't require that you meet a certain threshold of sobriety before showing up (though obviously that's the point of going). It's all in how you interact with your own habits and control mechanisms. So if you want to use cocaine and still go to AA, I'm sure that's something that other people have done or will do, regardless of whether the other people at AA meetings say that's okay or not.
That said, it is really really really clear here that you know the right answer in this situation. Being fully honest with yourself and others, and open to living your life in a more productive, happy way, will almost certainly require you to quit cocaine as well as alcohol.
posted by St. Hubbins at 7:20 AM on July 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
That said, it is really really really clear here that you know the right answer in this situation. Being fully honest with yourself and others, and open to living your life in a more productive, happy way, will almost certainly require you to quit cocaine as well as alcohol.
posted by St. Hubbins at 7:20 AM on July 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Sure, you can totally do this. The big deal about AA is that you admit that you've got a problem, that you don't have control over your drinking. For a lot of people, quitting drinking means they not only still have but may rely on, other mood alterers. For a lot of people it's coffee, cigarettes, something. You probably already know you need to keep a close eye on the cocaine use specifically to see if it ramps up when you're trying to tamp down your drinking. But no, using coke a few times a year should not keep you out of AA if you want to go to AA.
From the AA FAQ, it talks about going to meetings while drinking, but basically anyone can go to meetings who doesn't disrupt them.
"Understandably, most groups have an unwritten tradition that anyone who is still drinking, and boisterous enough to disturb a meeting, may be asked to leave; the same person will be welcomed back at any time when not likely to disrupt a meeting."
Your addicted brain doesn't really enjoy thinking about you not drinking so it's tossing up these silly roadblocks like "Oh I can't go if I use coke a few times a year" but clearly you're at a place where you need to do something, and if AA is a genuine option for you otherwise, then I'd try that.
posted by jessamyn at 7:20 AM on July 31, 2015 [38 favorites]
From the AA FAQ, it talks about going to meetings while drinking, but basically anyone can go to meetings who doesn't disrupt them.
"Understandably, most groups have an unwritten tradition that anyone who is still drinking, and boisterous enough to disturb a meeting, may be asked to leave; the same person will be welcomed back at any time when not likely to disrupt a meeting."
Your addicted brain doesn't really enjoy thinking about you not drinking so it's tossing up these silly roadblocks like "Oh I can't go if I use coke a few times a year" but clearly you're at a place where you need to do something, and if AA is a genuine option for you otherwise, then I'd try that.
posted by jessamyn at 7:20 AM on July 31, 2015 [38 favorites]
Go to AA! It very well might save your life. You can worry about the cocaine later.
posted by something something at 7:24 AM on July 31, 2015 [19 favorites]
posted by something something at 7:24 AM on July 31, 2015 [19 favorites]
It sounds like a harm reduction-based approach might be more suited to meeting you where you're at right now. I don't have direct knowledge of what HAMS' meetings are like but I've used their worksheets in my professional work and thought they were very helpful. SMART recovery is another alternative to AA that you might want to check out.
posted by fox problems at 7:29 AM on July 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by fox problems at 7:29 AM on July 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
Ok first of all – well done for realising that the drinking is not productive for you, is in fact potentially rather dangerous for you. That’s a big and important insight.
I am in no way an expert in overcoming addictions in others, I have the addictive side to my personality too (especially when it comes to booze but much less so when it comes to cocaine) so I can hopefully relate. I also am not au fait with how AA works.
It sounds to me like you may potentially be rationalising your cocaine use in order to still have a crutch, a life raft. I would bet a large amount of money that if you went to AA for your drinking, but keep taking coke ‘on occasion’, the coke use would spiral as your drinking diminished. It would not be a couple of times a year. It would be every bit as much as you currently drink (however much that is) and much more financially costly. Equally physically wrecking.
However – sometimes crutches can be useful as long as we recognise them as such. The drinking is clearly the bigger problem here at the moment for you and you want to address it.
So the right question isn’t : ‘Can I got to AA and not tell the full truth about my use of mood alterants? ‘Cos at the moment only one specifically is negatively affecting my life?’
The right question is : ‘Why does Anonymous need to alter their mood so much?’
posted by mrmulliner at 7:30 AM on July 31, 2015 [9 favorites]
I am in no way an expert in overcoming addictions in others, I have the addictive side to my personality too (especially when it comes to booze but much less so when it comes to cocaine) so I can hopefully relate. I also am not au fait with how AA works.
It sounds to me like you may potentially be rationalising your cocaine use in order to still have a crutch, a life raft. I would bet a large amount of money that if you went to AA for your drinking, but keep taking coke ‘on occasion’, the coke use would spiral as your drinking diminished. It would not be a couple of times a year. It would be every bit as much as you currently drink (however much that is) and much more financially costly. Equally physically wrecking.
However – sometimes crutches can be useful as long as we recognise them as such. The drinking is clearly the bigger problem here at the moment for you and you want to address it.
So the right question isn’t : ‘Can I got to AA and not tell the full truth about my use of mood alterants? ‘Cos at the moment only one specifically is negatively affecting my life?’
The right question is : ‘Why does Anonymous need to alter their mood so much?’
posted by mrmulliner at 7:30 AM on July 31, 2015 [9 favorites]
I had similar feelings about quitting drinking vs. quitting other stuff. For me, the drinking had to stop. So did the quasi-occasional (a few times per montht?) cocaine/crack, heroin, and (less often) meth. But I felt really conflicted about marijuana. I had a habit, sure, but it was a totally different thing (physically and mentally) than my other addictions.
While I was in treatment, I stayed clean, but I felt weird in my AA meetings because I secretly wanted to smoke weed again. Basically, I was increasingly framing up a situation where I'd quietly go back to it, once I moved out of the fish-bowl of my "sober living" house.
Ultimately, I decided that I didn't like that feeling of holding a secret, even though I hadn't acted on it. I haven't ruled out ever smoking pot again, but I just push it wayyyy down the road (when I'm retired, etc.). After ten years, I think I made the right decision.
Your mileage may vary, though. The thing about AA is, you can always come back. In other words, if you decide to do the occasional bump-fer-fun, and end up relapsing alcohol-wise (absolutely a risk), they'll let you back in, no questions asked. The party line is "no intoxicants", but I know several people who used AA to quit their main drug (say, heroin) and do occasionally have a beer. My way -- straight abstinence -- worked for me (and I strongly recommend it, just for dissonance reasons), their way -- abstinence from a targeted list -- seems to work for them.
posted by credible hulk at 7:32 AM on July 31, 2015 [9 favorites]
While I was in treatment, I stayed clean, but I felt weird in my AA meetings because I secretly wanted to smoke weed again. Basically, I was increasingly framing up a situation where I'd quietly go back to it, once I moved out of the fish-bowl of my "sober living" house.
Ultimately, I decided that I didn't like that feeling of holding a secret, even though I hadn't acted on it. I haven't ruled out ever smoking pot again, but I just push it wayyyy down the road (when I'm retired, etc.). After ten years, I think I made the right decision.
Your mileage may vary, though. The thing about AA is, you can always come back. In other words, if you decide to do the occasional bump-fer-fun, and end up relapsing alcohol-wise (absolutely a risk), they'll let you back in, no questions asked. The party line is "no intoxicants", but I know several people who used AA to quit their main drug (say, heroin) and do occasionally have a beer. My way -- straight abstinence -- worked for me (and I strongly recommend it, just for dissonance reasons), their way -- abstinence from a targeted list -- seems to work for them.
posted by credible hulk at 7:32 AM on July 31, 2015 [9 favorites]
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. That's AA's rule, not mine. Of course, you'll likely find individuals who have a problem with it, but that's their problem, not yours. Note that this doesn't address whether this situation will be conducive to long-term abstinence. I have no idea about that, nor would I venture a guess even if I had one.
posted by Gilbert at 7:43 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Gilbert at 7:43 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Of course you can! You can go to AA meetings and still DRINK recreationally.
Like Gilbert says: the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. For many meetings, you don't have to consider yourself a member to go, either.
posted by billjings at 7:56 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Like Gilbert says: the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. For many meetings, you don't have to consider yourself a member to go, either.
posted by billjings at 7:56 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
From my one or two "support visits" I'd say yes go. But perhaps keep trying if the first group does not seem like a perfect fit. There seemed to be some patterns that I would not have felt comfortable with long term but they did not query me invasivley at all, but if you want to stop drinking it's a path that has worked for quite a few folks. Really how can it hurt?
posted by sammyo at 8:09 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 8:09 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
You can totally go to an AA meeting; the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. If you want to stop, go. If you don't, don't. If you're forcing yourself to go to a meeting, that's a good signal that you're not ready.
Every meeting is different and you might find a sanctimonious one that's preachy about your cocaine use and you might find one that's sanguine about it. There's no rule and you don't have to force yourself to go to meetings that aren't a good fit for you. You might discover if you get into it and work the steps that you're less interested in doing cocaine, so as long as you're open to that possibility, give AA a shot.
posted by juniperesque at 9:00 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Every meeting is different and you might find a sanctimonious one that's preachy about your cocaine use and you might find one that's sanguine about it. There's no rule and you don't have to force yourself to go to meetings that aren't a good fit for you. You might discover if you get into it and work the steps that you're less interested in doing cocaine, so as long as you're open to that possibility, give AA a shot.
posted by juniperesque at 9:00 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
I am at present dealing with a relative with a pain killer pill addiction. He went to AA two days ago. 50% of the people there had drug addiction problems. I think that increasingly AA is "home" to drug as well as drink people, since the drug places are not as widespread as drink places (AA).
Thus, if I am right, members doing drugs might be upset if they know you do drugs but are giving up drinking.
posted by Postroad at 9:10 AM on July 31, 2015
Thus, if I am right, members doing drugs might be upset if they know you do drugs but are giving up drinking.
posted by Postroad at 9:10 AM on July 31, 2015
My daughter has a mirror issue -- she is trying to give up marijuana, but she has the very occasional drink, which she does not want to give up. She goes to Marijuana Anonymous (MA) meetings. At some meeting locations, the other attendees insist that drinking is absolutely not allowed (or at least, that you need to be trying to give up drinking). Other groups just don't care about that, and focus only on the drug use.
So, as juniperesque points out, you might want to try a few different AA meetings to see which one works best for you.
posted by merejane at 9:17 AM on July 31, 2015
So, as juniperesque points out, you might want to try a few different AA meetings to see which one works best for you.
posted by merejane at 9:17 AM on July 31, 2015
There will be zero harm in just going to a few meetings with a few different groups. This is one of those cases where the only answer is having you do some test drives.
But ... you got wasted and went and hid in the woods. That's not an alcohol issue. That's a something-else issue. And cocaine won't help that, so your dalliances with the Bolivian marching powder are entirely beside the point.
So, consider formal therapy along with test-driving AA.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:35 AM on July 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
But ... you got wasted and went and hid in the woods. That's not an alcohol issue. That's a something-else issue. And cocaine won't help that, so your dalliances with the Bolivian marching powder are entirely beside the point.
So, consider formal therapy along with test-driving AA.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:35 AM on July 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
I love having lazy evenings and late night drunken conversations with friends
...would grass work for you? People definitely use it for lazy late night fun conversation stuff, and I've never ever known anybody to get fight-y on it; could be a workable harm reduction strategy? I recently spent an evening having drinks with friends and there was a guy who didn't touch the beer but who would periodically excuse himself to "roll up another drink"...
posted by kmennie at 10:13 AM on July 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
...would grass work for you? People definitely use it for lazy late night fun conversation stuff, and I've never ever known anybody to get fight-y on it; could be a workable harm reduction strategy? I recently spent an evening having drinks with friends and there was a guy who didn't touch the beer but who would periodically excuse himself to "roll up another drink"...
posted by kmennie at 10:13 AM on July 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
You have a dangerous addiction to alcohol. Run, don't walk, to AA, and accept any other help available. Addiction is a liar and a thief. Getting sober is far more important than any barrier. I wish you the very best of luck.
posted by theora55 at 10:38 AM on July 31, 2015
posted by theora55 at 10:38 AM on July 31, 2015
Nthing go to meetings, and the best thing you can do for yourself at those meetings is to be honest about your still using coke. 99% of people will not judge you (and to hell with those that have a problem with it), but keeping that fact a secret is a big part of the disease that's causing you so much angst. Getting rid of that shit WILL help. When I got sober the aspect I had the most difficulty with was getting honest about my relapses.
It is a process. Most people don't get sober the first time they try. My experience is that my life has gotten better immeasurably from going to AA and truly becoming a part of the recovery community. Alternative avenues may work better for others (including you) but I know what worked for me.
Private message me if you have more specific questions. I am more than happy to help.
posted by eggman at 10:40 AM on July 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
It is a process. Most people don't get sober the first time they try. My experience is that my life has gotten better immeasurably from going to AA and truly becoming a part of the recovery community. Alternative avenues may work better for others (including you) but I know what worked for me.
Private message me if you have more specific questions. I am more than happy to help.
posted by eggman at 10:40 AM on July 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Go, be open to the truths that going tells you, and hold nothing sacred. Becoming honest with yourself is impossible at first; that's why you drink. Then gradually you will find whatever you hold non-negotiable to be actually unimportant compared to what you learn about yourself. But first just go, go.
posted by argybarg at 10:42 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by argybarg at 10:42 AM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think it's a good thing that you realized you have a serious problem with alcohol consumption. That's the first step. However, I also think you should give up cocaine. Since you do it only a few times a year it shouldn't be difficult to go without.
Plus, there's something about the way phrased your question that makes it sound like you need cocaine...that's a bit scary because cocaine is serious drug and loke drinking can really fuck up your life when used excessively. Also, as someone mentioned before it's possible as you decrease alcohol that cocaine use may increase. ..like a crutch.
For now I'd make a effort to go totally clean. Especially if your cocaine use has always been tied to drinking...i.e. doing lines while drunk or drinking etc. Can you perhaps replace cocaine with something equally as intense but more beneficial...training for a marathon, martial arts classes?
Nthing to the therapy along with AA. Addiction is both physical and pyschological. I hope this helps and I wish you well on your recovery journey.
posted by CosmicSeeker42 at 1:25 PM on July 31, 2015
Plus, there's something about the way phrased your question that makes it sound like you need cocaine...that's a bit scary because cocaine is serious drug and loke drinking can really fuck up your life when used excessively. Also, as someone mentioned before it's possible as you decrease alcohol that cocaine use may increase. ..like a crutch.
For now I'd make a effort to go totally clean. Especially if your cocaine use has always been tied to drinking...i.e. doing lines while drunk or drinking etc. Can you perhaps replace cocaine with something equally as intense but more beneficial...training for a marathon, martial arts classes?
Nthing to the therapy along with AA. Addiction is both physical and pyschological. I hope this helps and I wish you well on your recovery journey.
posted by CosmicSeeker42 at 1:25 PM on July 31, 2015
Through my teens, I dabbled in the usual other substances, but for me, alcohol was my tried and true, and as I stumbled through my 20s and fell into my 30s it became my constant, nagging and excruciating painful companion. I abused alcohol, and alcohol abused me right back.
It was a steady decline into lying and madness. The sneaking, the buying of flasks (they would lie flat on top of the cabinets and not be seen), hiding bottles in dirty laundry, visiting a series of liquor stores in an order so no one establishment would know of my total consumption (not to mention the occasional in-store announcements to no one in particular about the "party" or "watching the game with friends"), the "tell" drink, usually just a beer, that I would have out in front of my SO, followed by the half dozen subsequent visits to the bathroom to hastily chug 3-4 ounces of vodka... the time I vaguely remembered being in a hospital, and being repeatedly asked to blow into something (apparently I was blowing a .48 which for being 30 years old was supposed to be medically impossible while somewhat conscious, so they thought their breathalyzer was broken)... passing out and coming to hearing a low tonal sound, only to realize it was me, moaning...Urinating on myself, throwing up in many public places, falling and not being able to get the proper locomotion to rise, the morning ritual of Shower, brush teeth, puke, brush teeth, puke, brush teeth, shit black, bloody, oily excrement, shower again, followed by tons of Axe body spray, tomato juice, and the three packets of Listerine breath strips I carried at all times... dreading being near anyone who might be able to smell the alcohol pouring off of me in waves.... The swaying oath in front of the bathroom mirror, not quite able to meet my own gaze, just a quick view of bile flecked lips and sunken eyes, but an oath to NEVER drink again... followed always by an increasing craving to drink, which I inevitably succumbed to by the evening... but then having received the relief from my craving, a futile hope that somehow, no... someday, I WILL stop. Tomorrow, perhaps.
I did this for 4 years. Every. Damn. Day. And I STILL didn't want to stop, not really, not completely. Failing health, I could fucking feel my organs hurting, gout, broken relationships, lost employment, and of course, the lies. But I suffered from a malady I could not understand, so I resigned myself to just dying this way.
Something happened though, a little over 5 years ago. I was shown a way out, but more importantly I was willing to be shown a way out. I stopped trying to control or come up with a solution myself, and admitted that I just didn't fucking know WHAT to do, or how to do it.
Today, 5 years later, I am married with 2 kids, and my wife is not an alcoholic. While that is insane enough to me, perhaps even crazier, is that we have alcohol in my house, and not only do I not drink it, but I don't want to, and I don't really think about it being there.
There's an answer out there for you, if a piece of shit drunk from Brooklyn like me could finally get it. Just seek with an open mind, and a willing heart, and I fucking g guarantee you that you will find whatever measure of sobriety you seek. And that's a promise.
If you ever want to know exactly what I did, memail me, and I'd be happy to share.
posted by Debaser626 at 1:30 PM on July 31, 2015 [23 favorites]
It was a steady decline into lying and madness. The sneaking, the buying of flasks (they would lie flat on top of the cabinets and not be seen), hiding bottles in dirty laundry, visiting a series of liquor stores in an order so no one establishment would know of my total consumption (not to mention the occasional in-store announcements to no one in particular about the "party" or "watching the game with friends"), the "tell" drink, usually just a beer, that I would have out in front of my SO, followed by the half dozen subsequent visits to the bathroom to hastily chug 3-4 ounces of vodka... the time I vaguely remembered being in a hospital, and being repeatedly asked to blow into something (apparently I was blowing a .48 which for being 30 years old was supposed to be medically impossible while somewhat conscious, so they thought their breathalyzer was broken)... passing out and coming to hearing a low tonal sound, only to realize it was me, moaning...Urinating on myself, throwing up in many public places, falling and not being able to get the proper locomotion to rise, the morning ritual of Shower, brush teeth, puke, brush teeth, puke, brush teeth, shit black, bloody, oily excrement, shower again, followed by tons of Axe body spray, tomato juice, and the three packets of Listerine breath strips I carried at all times... dreading being near anyone who might be able to smell the alcohol pouring off of me in waves.... The swaying oath in front of the bathroom mirror, not quite able to meet my own gaze, just a quick view of bile flecked lips and sunken eyes, but an oath to NEVER drink again... followed always by an increasing craving to drink, which I inevitably succumbed to by the evening... but then having received the relief from my craving, a futile hope that somehow, no... someday, I WILL stop. Tomorrow, perhaps.
I did this for 4 years. Every. Damn. Day. And I STILL didn't want to stop, not really, not completely. Failing health, I could fucking feel my organs hurting, gout, broken relationships, lost employment, and of course, the lies. But I suffered from a malady I could not understand, so I resigned myself to just dying this way.
Something happened though, a little over 5 years ago. I was shown a way out, but more importantly I was willing to be shown a way out. I stopped trying to control or come up with a solution myself, and admitted that I just didn't fucking know WHAT to do, or how to do it.
Today, 5 years later, I am married with 2 kids, and my wife is not an alcoholic. While that is insane enough to me, perhaps even crazier, is that we have alcohol in my house, and not only do I not drink it, but I don't want to, and I don't really think about it being there.
There's an answer out there for you, if a piece of shit drunk from Brooklyn like me could finally get it. Just seek with an open mind, and a willing heart, and I fucking g guarantee you that you will find whatever measure of sobriety you seek. And that's a promise.
If you ever want to know exactly what I did, memail me, and I'd be happy to share.
posted by Debaser626 at 1:30 PM on July 31, 2015 [23 favorites]
Hey. Have you ever been evaluated by a psychiatrist for bipolar II?
I was pulling exactly this type of bullshit, alcohol-wise, and it turned out it was a symptom of mania and I was rapid cycling. The minute I was put on anti-seizure meds, I had no desire to drink. It became a completely neutral stimulus.
I throw that out there because since then, I've wondered how many people with bipolar II are sitting in AA meetings, when anti-seizure meds cleared it right up for me and it turned out I was not an alcoholic.
It's frustrating either way and I'm sorry you are going through this. Hugs.
posted by Punctual at 1:33 PM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
I was pulling exactly this type of bullshit, alcohol-wise, and it turned out it was a symptom of mania and I was rapid cycling. The minute I was put on anti-seizure meds, I had no desire to drink. It became a completely neutral stimulus.
I throw that out there because since then, I've wondered how many people with bipolar II are sitting in AA meetings, when anti-seizure meds cleared it right up for me and it turned out I was not an alcoholic.
It's frustrating either way and I'm sorry you are going through this. Hugs.
posted by Punctual at 1:33 PM on July 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Only you can decide about the cocaine use. Since you use it 3 times per year, go ahead and use. Then go to AA for 4 months and work the program sincerely with no alcohol OR cocaine. See how you feel after the 4 months of sobriety.
You're trying to predict the future. You don't know if you're even going to care about the coke once you're sober -- or if you'll be more likely to over-use it even though you never did in the past. Don't let this mystery stand in the way of getting sober.
It's normal that you don't want to quit.
posted by wryly at 2:48 PM on July 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
You're trying to predict the future. You don't know if you're even going to care about the coke once you're sober -- or if you'll be more likely to over-use it even though you never did in the past. Don't let this mystery stand in the way of getting sober.
It's normal that you don't want to quit.
posted by wryly at 2:48 PM on July 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
I read about Naltrexone which cuts alcohol cravings on Metafilter. I don't know how hard it is to get prescribed but it sounds like it could be helpful to you.
I know someone who is bipolar who self medicated for years with alcohol and other drugs and what you wrote reminded me of her. Punctual sharing the same experience makes me think it might be worth being tested for this.
posted by stray thoughts at 6:18 PM on July 31, 2015
I know someone who is bipolar who self medicated for years with alcohol and other drugs and what you wrote reminded me of her. Punctual sharing the same experience makes me think it might be worth being tested for this.
posted by stray thoughts at 6:18 PM on July 31, 2015
You'll be fine going to meetings and using cocaine every now and again. Good luck with your sobriety.
posted by ob1quixote at 7:17 PM on July 31, 2015
posted by ob1quixote at 7:17 PM on July 31, 2015
I don't want to be a negative nilly here...but I will be. I had a friend who did something similar, didn't really work out because her issue wasn't really *alcohol* addiction, it was *addiction*, period. Something to consider is quitting both to get serious about sobriety.
posted by Toddles at 11:10 PM on August 1, 2015
posted by Toddles at 11:10 PM on August 1, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
Regardless of whether you quit the cocaine, get help with your drinking. If AA doesn't work out, try another avenue for help. Don't turn away from help because of a nuance like the one in your question. Just start cutting into your problem right away, even if you don't do it perfectly. Once you've gotten somewhere with that, work on the rest of your problems.
posted by ignignokt at 7:15 AM on July 31, 2015 [8 favorites]