Divorce across state lines
April 30, 2015 9:53 PM Subscribe
We lived in California. I moved to North Carolina. He stayed. I want to file for divorce in California. I'd like a little internet not-legal advice before I make my first move.
(To be clear: Yes, a lawyer could likely be extremely helpful. I am not opposed to engaging one, but I understand it is possible to get divorced without hiring a lawyer, and would like to do as much as possible/reasonable myself.)
It seems that a divorce would be faster and maybe easier in California than in North Carolina. If we were still in the same place, I think we could get through this without lawyers. We have no kids, but we do have a decent size and assortment of financial assets. While all of it is community property, we can agree on how to split it.
Because I am not in California anymore, I'm not sure how to proceed. It sounds like normally I would take the forms to the courthouse to file them, and that mailing them -- at least in terms of filing the initial petition -- isn't an option. If I'm not physically in the state, is this something a lawyer/legal service can do for me? Are there other points in the process where I need to physically be there?
In short: If you want to file for divorce in a state where your spouse lives but you do not -- and this is possible in that state -- how do the logistics work? I'm open to anecdotes about similar experiences in different US states.
(To be clear: Yes, a lawyer could likely be extremely helpful. I am not opposed to engaging one, but I understand it is possible to get divorced without hiring a lawyer, and would like to do as much as possible/reasonable myself.)
It seems that a divorce would be faster and maybe easier in California than in North Carolina. If we were still in the same place, I think we could get through this without lawyers. We have no kids, but we do have a decent size and assortment of financial assets. While all of it is community property, we can agree on how to split it.
Because I am not in California anymore, I'm not sure how to proceed. It sounds like normally I would take the forms to the courthouse to file them, and that mailing them -- at least in terms of filing the initial petition -- isn't an option. If I'm not physically in the state, is this something a lawyer/legal service can do for me? Are there other points in the process where I need to physically be there?
In short: If you want to file for divorce in a state where your spouse lives but you do not -- and this is possible in that state -- how do the logistics work? I'm open to anecdotes about similar experiences in different US states.
I'd start by looking around at Legalzoom. If it's possible, they will be able to give you the tools you need to do it. If not, having your spouse file would likely be easier and they make things pretty no-nonsense. (If you're not on good enough terms that only you can be the one to file, you probably shouldn't assume that asset division will go so smoothly as to not require a lawyer).
posted by Mchelly at 4:05 AM on May 1, 2015
posted by Mchelly at 4:05 AM on May 1, 2015
IANYL, TINLA. If you haven't been in NC long enough to be considered domiciled there and for NC to consider you a resident, then you should still be able to file in CA. Otherwise, my instinct is that your soon to be ex will need to file in CA. You can then consent to personal jurisdiction.
posted by snuffleupagus at 4:23 AM on May 1, 2015
posted by snuffleupagus at 4:23 AM on May 1, 2015
I recently divorced. I was living in IL and my ex had moved to MA. It was very easy to do this, but I had to file in my state of residence due to MA/IL laws (you cannot file without a lengthy residency time in MA, IL was more obliging). I hired a lawyer, because there are a lot of forms and I wanted to make sure I had all my ducks in a row, but the lawyer's involvement was minimal. She gave me the paperwork, I mailed it to my ex, my ex signed it with a notary, mailed it back, and the lawyer filed it. My ex did not have to come to IL at any time. If it is easier to divorce in CA than in NC, and your ex would be willing to engage the lawyer and/or do the paperwork necessary, I would say that's your best bet.
posted by possibilityleft at 6:44 AM on May 1, 2015
posted by possibilityleft at 6:44 AM on May 1, 2015
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posted by the agents of KAOS at 10:38 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]