Do you think this is enough for a Valentine's Day gift?
February 14, 2015 12:10 PM   Subscribe

I am currently in a relationship of 4 months. I have a couple things for my boyfriend for Valentine's Day but I'm not sure if it's enough. Opinions pretty please?? :)

Ok. So for Valentine's day my boyfriend got us tickets to a band he's into and they're playing somewhere that's like 5 hours away. He also got a hotel room for that night which he said was about 50$. The tickets were 25$. He told me about this present earlier this week. On Thursday the 12th he cooked us a steak dinner and we had wine and hung out, it was our four months. He said it was our Valentine's dinner. He said tonight we can just hangout and watch movies or something.

I am so last minute and feel so bad. I wasn't exprcting such a sweet and big gift. I made him a really cute homemade card and some homemade varietal chocolate truffles. I don't know if he got me anything else, probably a card? I really am freaking out but I don't know what else to get him. I was thinking maybe a framed photo of us (we only have 3 and they're not very good) and writing a poem on the back of it? Maybe bringing dinner over to his house tonight and hanging out? I'm freaking out, I don't think what I made him is enough, what do you think? He is into listening to music and watching movies and likes beer. Help!
posted by anon1129 to Human Relations (13 answers total)
Dude. Youre overthinking. Gift giving isnt 1:1 in relationships. I think what u have is perfect.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 12:19 PM on February 14, 2015 [10 favorites]

He told you how much his gifts cost, he cooked steak himself, the tix are for a band he likes anyway...homemade truffles are very sweet and more than enough, frankly.

(And if he gets bent out of shape about it or whiny, then we have a problem with him, not you.)
posted by discopolo at 12:19 PM on February 14, 2015 [17 favorites]

4 months is barely enough time to figure out if you are dating a serial killer let alone what kind of gifts they like. Relax. Your gift sounds fantastic.
posted by munchingzombie at 12:20 PM on February 14, 2015 [26 favorites]

I think it sounds nice and it sounds like enough. If you're watching movies at dinner time, maybe you could buy a pizza, but not necessary!
posted by Fairchild at 12:21 PM on February 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Personally I think your gift is better than his anyway. Tickets to a band he likes 5 hours away? Umm, to me that sounds like a gift to himself.
posted by peanut butter milkshake at 12:23 PM on February 14, 2015 [36 favorites]

It should be fine, and if it isn't, you now know something.

Personally, I don't make a fuss on Valentine's day.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:25 PM on February 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

Agree with all the above: you've only been dating 4 months (i.e., no big deal!); it doesn't matter what he spent and on what (tix to a band five hours away? sounds like he'd have probably gotten those no matter what, and is just calling it a Valentine's present); and a heartfelt homemade gift trumps all, if someone insists on keeping count (but keeping count ain't what love should be about).

So you're all good. Go cuddle the night away. (Although the poem idea is pretty nice too....)
posted by easily confused at 12:32 PM on February 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

The truffles and photo are lovely gifts! I like the idea of bringing dinner, if you have the energy to do it and have a go-to dish you can bang out, but I wouldn't stress.
posted by cotton dress sock at 12:38 PM on February 14, 2015

Best answer: Homemade truffles and a handmade card? That's delightful!

Buying tix for a band he likes, then telling you the price of everything that's going into the evening? Um, very bad taste IMO.

Unless you really like the band as well, he would have done better to make the road trip with friends, and take you out to dinner (or cook for you) on Valentine's Day ... but, hey, you seem okay with this so I would not worry about your gift at all. It's more than fine, but his manners need to improve, IMO.

BTW I'm 17 months in to your 4 and I'm sitting here still trying to figure out if I need to "do something" for a Valentine's Day gift/card ... we're going to dinner tomorrow and we skipped the holiday last year.
posted by alwayson_slightlyoff at 12:53 PM on February 14, 2015 [7 favorites]

You've done stuff that takes time and effort and shows caring. You're good.

If he gets bent out of shape because he spent more money than you did, he's a colossal ass. Putting a price tag on gifts is not really an effective way to have a relationship; what matters is the love and caring and understanding.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:18 PM on February 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Buying tix for a band he likes

This could either be "I want someone to go with me to this gig I really want to go to" or it could be "This person is awesome and I really want to share this thing I love with her because it's sharing a part of myself and I know she'll love it too (even though I may turn out to be wrong about that.)"

Worth an internal check: is steak his favourite meal or is it yours?
posted by DarlingBri at 1:24 PM on February 14, 2015 [7 favorites]

I think you are good to go. Homemade card and chocolates is a fantastic gift.

I'm in the gifts are not 1:1 camp. Here is my experience: One Christmas I had been dating someone for about 4 months. I made him gingerbread cookies and a card. He gave me pearls! I felt so bad at first and then thought screw it-- I'm not going to worry about this shit so early in a relationship. That was 8 years ago... we are still together.
posted by sadtomato at 2:11 PM on February 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

Worth an internal check: is steak his favourite meal or is it yours?

Yeah, but who cares more about home-cooked meals in general — the OP or her boyfriend? OP, it sounds like your gifts are fine and you shouldn't worry about it. The elephant in the room that no one has mentioned but I will: in an opposite-sex relationship, both men and women are usually a lot more concerned about what gifts the man gets for the woman for Valentine's Day than vice versa. So relax — as a woman, you have it easy in that regard.
posted by John Cohen at 4:49 PM on February 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

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