Finding a woman's bathrobe is harder than you'd think
October 20, 2014 3:18 AM Subscribe
Can you help me find a bathrobe that suggests that I remain a feminine and attractive creature yet still fulfills my strong need for snuggly comfy clothes? I want a bathrobe that I LOVE.
When I'm in the store everything looks like it's either going to be worn by Joan Collins in Dynasty or a hospital. Clearly I'm in the wrong stores, but aside from that, here's what I'm looking for in a bathrobe:
1) Natural fiber.
2) However if the design is right would also be happy with some type of poly blend, and might be up for buying a lightweight one and a heavy weight one, though it's 29 degrees outside right now so toasty is more what I'm looking for.
3) For the love of God, no fleece.
4) Zippers, not ties--they always come undone. Somehow I failed at tying bathrobes.
5) Pockets, but could do without if I had to. I guess.
6) No pastels. No fleece.
7) This is the key element: fabric must be cut in a way that suggests a woman's body and not a walking baked potato. For reference, my only bathrobe is currently this one. I'm 5'4, about 145. It does not flatter.
8) I made sure to say 'no fleece' right?
9) V neck or otherwise open-ish at the chest (no tall collars). I have large breasts and can easily look like I have a meatloaf strapped to my chest. Because of that situation, I tend to have to buy larger sizes, which makes it doubly important I find something hourglass shaped or flare-y because I might wind up looking like a baked potato anyway.
10. Probably to fall to mid-calf.
11. Slightly closed sleeves (but not elastic) at the wrists would probably be helpful.
I'm open on colors other than grandma-level pastels, but especially like wine colors; browns; dark, dusty blues; pink when used with gray or brown; jewel tones, when muted. Some embellishments are okay.
When I'm in the store everything looks like it's either going to be worn by Joan Collins in Dynasty or a hospital. Clearly I'm in the wrong stores, but aside from that, here's what I'm looking for in a bathrobe:
1) Natural fiber.
2) However if the design is right would also be happy with some type of poly blend, and might be up for buying a lightweight one and a heavy weight one, though it's 29 degrees outside right now so toasty is more what I'm looking for.
3) For the love of God, no fleece.
4) Zippers, not ties--they always come undone. Somehow I failed at tying bathrobes.
5) Pockets, but could do without if I had to. I guess.
6) No pastels. No fleece.
7) This is the key element: fabric must be cut in a way that suggests a woman's body and not a walking baked potato. For reference, my only bathrobe is currently this one. I'm 5'4, about 145. It does not flatter.
8) I made sure to say 'no fleece' right?
9) V neck or otherwise open-ish at the chest (no tall collars). I have large breasts and can easily look like I have a meatloaf strapped to my chest. Because of that situation, I tend to have to buy larger sizes, which makes it doubly important I find something hourglass shaped or flare-y because I might wind up looking like a baked potato anyway.
10. Probably to fall to mid-calf.
11. Slightly closed sleeves (but not elastic) at the wrists would probably be helpful.
I'm open on colors other than grandma-level pastels, but especially like wine colors; browns; dark, dusty blues; pink when used with gray or brown; jewel tones, when muted. Some embellishments are okay.
Yeah the zipper is going to be the sticking point. My husband gave me the Eileen Fisher cashmere robe from Garnet Hill and it is amazing. Pricey but so nice. I also have a Natori robe from Zappos and it is also great and much more affordable. These both meet all your requirements except the zipper. Maybe you can buy a tie robe and have a zipper sewn in?
posted by sulaine at 3:59 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by sulaine at 3:59 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
If , at the end of this, you get stuck with the need to tie a robe because there's no alternative, I reckon a few of us can tell you how to do it in your next green question.
posted by taff at 4:26 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by taff at 4:26 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Buttons would be acceptable.
The thing with belts is they never stay closed so I'm always fussing with them, even when I tie the secondary interior tie thing as well, and also I'm short waisted so I can do hour glass type shapes okay but the actual fixed waist that a belt creates makes me look like an insect.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:07 AM on October 20, 2014
The thing with belts is they never stay closed so I'm always fussing with them, even when I tie the secondary interior tie thing as well, and also I'm short waisted so I can do hour glass type shapes okay but the actual fixed waist that a belt creates makes me look like an insect.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:07 AM on October 20, 2014
What's your budget? This seems like its a relatively simple project for a tailor (not even a fancy one, just a dry cleaners that does alterations should be able to handle this).
posted by WeekendJen at 5:34 AM on October 20, 2014
posted by WeekendJen at 5:34 AM on October 20, 2014
This is probably too lightweight for winter but maybe a good spring/summer option?
Another idea: beach coverups are often zippered, and come in terry and other cotton fabrics. You might find something by searching that way.
posted by barnone at 5:58 AM on October 20, 2014
Another idea: beach coverups are often zippered, and come in terry and other cotton fabrics. You might find something by searching that way.
posted by barnone at 5:58 AM on October 20, 2014
Dang, that zipper requirement!
I'm going to pretend it doesn't exist. Yes, I know that's obnoxious. But! Here's my robe, the rose-print one, in a super soft 100% cotton flannel (lighter than you think) that has ZERO frump-factor. Please consider it...you'll feel like a star, and it'll soak up water from your show with ease.
I hooted merrily at your baked potato imagery, by the way.
posted by BostonTerrier at 6:04 AM on October 20, 2014
I'm going to pretend it doesn't exist. Yes, I know that's obnoxious. But! Here's my robe, the rose-print one, in a super soft 100% cotton flannel (lighter than you think) that has ZERO frump-factor. Please consider it...you'll feel like a star, and it'll soak up water from your show with ease.
I hooted merrily at your baked potato imagery, by the way.
posted by BostonTerrier at 6:04 AM on October 20, 2014
Response by poster: What's your budget? This seems like its a relatively simple project for a tailor (not even a fancy one, just a dry cleaners that does alterations should be able to handle this).
It's not so much the budget as the extra time of finding a tailor, going to the tailor, and getting it picked up from the tailor's. I know that sounds insane. But I'm just managing to get the basic tasks done these days. Things that I can do online without making any separate trips are really helpful or adding any additional reminders to my calendar are a godsend, though if I gotta do this to get a new bathrobe I will. But case in point it's taken me several years just to get around to post this Ask Me. At least I'm not nuts though, it really is this hard.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 6:05 AM on October 20, 2014
It's not so much the budget as the extra time of finding a tailor, going to the tailor, and getting it picked up from the tailor's. I know that sounds insane. But I'm just managing to get the basic tasks done these days. Things that I can do online without making any separate trips are really helpful or adding any additional reminders to my calendar are a godsend, though if I gotta do this to get a new bathrobe I will. But case in point it's taken me several years just to get around to post this Ask Me. At least I'm not nuts though, it really is this hard.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 6:05 AM on October 20, 2014
Response by poster: Also, if anyone has any keyword suggestions that would be helpful also. I Google 'feminine' and I get dainty grandma flowers, I Google 'sexy' and get the opposite problem.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 6:08 AM on October 20, 2014
posted by A Terrible Llama at 6:08 AM on October 20, 2014
A few other ideas:
Terry Bubbles Cover Up - probably the wrong colors. But it's zipper and has a little drawstring for definition. Maybe too beachy?
Speedo Aqua Fitness French Terry Hooded Cover-Up - sometimes terry will say "fleece" but look at the material. It basically means "fleeced cotton" aka softly napped, not a flat weave.
Long sleeve hooded cardigan zipper medium long bathrobes - lots of colors
What about a zippered caftan? Natori 'Beijing' Quilted Caftan
This Cotton Zip Hooded Robe is cute but sold out :-(
Here's a similar one to yours but in cotton - Supima Cotton Zip Robe .
Women's Zip-Front Sweatshirt Robe comes in jewel tones.
posted by barnone at 6:23 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
Terry Bubbles Cover Up - probably the wrong colors. But it's zipper and has a little drawstring for definition. Maybe too beachy?
Speedo Aqua Fitness French Terry Hooded Cover-Up - sometimes terry will say "fleece" but look at the material. It basically means "fleeced cotton" aka softly napped, not a flat weave.
Long sleeve hooded cardigan zipper medium long bathrobes - lots of colors
What about a zippered caftan? Natori 'Beijing' Quilted Caftan
This Cotton Zip Hooded Robe is cute but sold out :-(
Here's a similar one to yours but in cotton - Supima Cotton Zip Robe .
Women's Zip-Front Sweatshirt Robe comes in jewel tones.
posted by barnone at 6:23 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
This has some waist definition, but is a button instead of zip.
posted by dogmom at 6:30 AM on October 20, 2014
posted by dogmom at 6:30 AM on October 20, 2014
I tried combinations of luxury, spa, and deluxe....
This Natori Faux-Sherpa Zip-Front Caftan is polyester, but otherwise has some definition and style. I wonder if Natori has another robe/caftan in cotton.
Edited to add: here is another Natori option:
Natori Deco Zip Caftan Style V70012
posted by barnone at 6:31 AM on October 20, 2014
This Natori Faux-Sherpa Zip-Front Caftan is polyester, but otherwise has some definition and style. I wonder if Natori has another robe/caftan in cotton.
Edited to add: here is another Natori option:
Natori Deco Zip Caftan Style V70012
posted by barnone at 6:31 AM on October 20, 2014
I really have a ridiculously hard time even picturing a robe that I would call sexy that involved a zipper. I have one with snaps, but while it's incredibly comfy, it's hideous. If you're the sort of woman who needs something that has a waist, you need a belt. But does it need to be a tie belt? Could you remove the usual tie and find a narrow enough elastic belt with a real buckle in a matching color to something? I've seen them in white at the very least. Like this sort of thing. That'd open you up to a lot more things with the sort of neckline and fit you seem to want.
posted by Sequence at 6:37 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Sequence at 6:37 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
I really like Soma- I think their stuff is pretty and well-made. There are a few other options on their site but only in pastels so I didn't include those. (I'm not sure if the ones I listed below count as fleece- my apologies if they do!)
This one is expensive, but what can you expect with cashmere? :)
This one might be too boxy, but the color is pretty.
This one is modal, so it should be super soft.
posted by Mouse Army at 6:39 AM on October 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
This one is expensive, but what can you expect with cashmere? :)
This one might be too boxy, but the color is pretty.
This one is modal, so it should be super soft.
posted by Mouse Army at 6:39 AM on October 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
Final two:
- Natori Sleepwear Yume Zip Caftan (87% cotton + some polyester) - comes in jewel tones
- P-Jamas 48" Breakaway Zip Robe - white only.
I've found there are a few reasons why robes come undone all the time:
- the flaps are too short, not providing enough overlap
- the belt is too thin or way too thick
- the robe itself is very bulky and doesn't flex where needed
- the size is wrong and pulls in weird ways when you sit or move
I got my MIL a combination cotton-cashmere robe, and she LOVES it. The material is thick enough to be warm and cozy, but it's not bulky like most terry robes. The front flaps completely cross over in front of her, so they don't easily slip open. The material flexes around her body rather than being a robe-of-armor like most thick velour robes. The belt was substantial enough to work but not so substantial that it can't be properly tied. All in all, things might be easier if you're open to non-zipper options if you want to have a warm but vaguely sexy robe in a natural fiber.
posted by barnone at 6:42 AM on October 20, 2014
- Natori Sleepwear Yume Zip Caftan (87% cotton + some polyester) - comes in jewel tones
- P-Jamas 48" Breakaway Zip Robe - white only.
I've found there are a few reasons why robes come undone all the time:
- the flaps are too short, not providing enough overlap
- the belt is too thin or way too thick
- the robe itself is very bulky and doesn't flex where needed
- the size is wrong and pulls in weird ways when you sit or move
I got my MIL a combination cotton-cashmere robe, and she LOVES it. The material is thick enough to be warm and cozy, but it's not bulky like most terry robes. The front flaps completely cross over in front of her, so they don't easily slip open. The material flexes around her body rather than being a robe-of-armor like most thick velour robes. The belt was substantial enough to work but not so substantial that it can't be properly tied. All in all, things might be easier if you're open to non-zipper options if you want to have a warm but vaguely sexy robe in a natural fiber.
posted by barnone at 6:42 AM on October 20, 2014
This one has buttons and a tie, but the tie looks like it's just for pretty.
posted by Mchelly at 8:01 AM on October 20, 2014 [8 favorites]
posted by Mchelly at 8:01 AM on October 20, 2014 [8 favorites]
This in ivory is my dream robe, though I haven't bought it yet so I don't know what it's like in real life. It fails on the no-tie front, but the tie is sewn into the robe which might help and also gives the robe an actual non-potato shape.
(Although that one Mchelly posted is pretty amazing looking too!)
posted by misskaz at 8:12 AM on October 20, 2014
(Although that one Mchelly posted is pretty amazing looking too!)
posted by misskaz at 8:12 AM on October 20, 2014
I had a light cotton one from Victoria's Secret that I loved, and which lasted forever. Later I replaced it with an almost identical one from Target. You might try using "cotton" as a search term.
Being lightweight material makes it more likely to flatter than something bulkier, although I admit this depends on the use of a belt. I just don't think you are likely to find a robe cut with an hourglass shape.
FWIW I was bad at belts too until someone suggested I tie it in a bow. If it's a soft, light material the loops just hang, rather than going all Shirley Temple sash.
posted by jessicapierce at 8:35 AM on October 20, 2014
Being lightweight material makes it more likely to flatter than something bulkier, although I admit this depends on the use of a belt. I just don't think you are likely to find a robe cut with an hourglass shape.
FWIW I was bad at belts too until someone suggested I tie it in a bow. If it's a soft, light material the loops just hang, rather than going all Shirley Temple sash.
posted by jessicapierce at 8:35 AM on October 20, 2014
The one misskaz linked to is a good option, and provides an additional search term - "inset waist." Something with an inset waist will have a more tailored shape that will reduce bulk and provide a feminine silhouette. Something like that would be relatively easy to have tailored, as well, should you go that route, since the robe already has a nipped-in waist shape. (Adding a zipper to the front of a standard robe will just give you a potato shape unless you also tailor the sides/add darts to the front and back.)
posted by devinemissk at 8:45 AM on October 20, 2014
posted by devinemissk at 8:45 AM on October 20, 2014
How do you tie your bathrobe? I do a single overhand knot, and THEN a half bow (like another knot, but leave one loop), and the bathrobe goes NOWHERE. And you get so much waist shape! And a nice feminine V neck. I think you'll struggle to find a zippered robe that is not your great aunt's house coat.
posted by zibra at 8:42 PM on October 20, 2014
posted by zibra at 8:42 PM on October 20, 2014
Stan Herman Medallion Zip Front Plush Robe with Bracelet Sleeve
Stan Herman Seersucker French Terry Caftan with Contrast Trim
posted by Room 641-A at 7:22 AM on October 23, 2014
Stan Herman Seersucker French Terry Caftan with Contrast Trim
posted by Room 641-A at 7:22 AM on October 23, 2014
The Zipper is the problem. It's pretty impossible to have a zipper robe that is form flattering because your legs need space to walk. When you have a tie the bottom of the robe naturally opens when you walk, but zippers make it so that there is no opening. You will not be able to move easily in a zippered robe that is form fitting and that's why they don't make them. Since you're looking for a "bath" robe you also want it to be moisture absorbant and a zippered robe that is too form fitting would also impede this.
If your ties are coming loose I would suggest a different material. A bamboo robe with a tie. A bamboo tie does not come undone easily. It holds on better than other materials when you tie it. It is super absorbant and is a natural fiber too.
The only thing is that because it is so absorbant, it also does not dry easily. It soaks up every morsal of wetness on you so that you're dry after your shower and it takes all that moisture into itelf. It WILL be dry by the next time you take a shower 24 hours later, (unless you live in a humid environment in which case it could take longer) but if you'd like it to be dry within a couple of hours after your shower then you'll need to lay it on a towel warmer or something. This one has high ratings on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002A28VB6/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
posted by rancher at 12:23 PM on November 12, 2014
If your ties are coming loose I would suggest a different material. A bamboo robe with a tie. A bamboo tie does not come undone easily. It holds on better than other materials when you tie it. It is super absorbant and is a natural fiber too.
The only thing is that because it is so absorbant, it also does not dry easily. It soaks up every morsal of wetness on you so that you're dry after your shower and it takes all that moisture into itelf. It WILL be dry by the next time you take a shower 24 hours later, (unless you live in a humid environment in which case it could take longer) but if you'd like it to be dry within a couple of hours after your shower then you'll need to lay it on a towel warmer or something. This one has high ratings on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002A28VB6/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
posted by rancher at 12:23 PM on November 12, 2014
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posted by The Giant Rat of Sumatra at 3:45 AM on October 20, 2014 [4 favorites]