Do actual blind dates still happen?

June 23, 2013 8:18 PM

My wife and I were watching a recent comedy that spoofs, as many comedies do, blind dates. Discussing it, we talked about how the two of us had never been on a blind date, and how despite seeing people get together in all different types of ways in our lifetimes, we didn't know anyone - from the 80s to the present - who had actually been on a proper blind date, where both parties were entirely unfamiliar with each other before the date. Which leads us to wonder... have you?

I should probably point out that by blind date, we mean not only that two people set up on a date together hadn't previously met, not only that they hadn't talked to each other on the phone, but *also* that they hadn't seen pictures of each other.

It would seem like modern technology - even the land-line phones and polaroids of the 70s and 80s - would make blind dates reasonably unlikely, so we're surprised that they remain a cultural trope that shows up from time to time.

posted by eschatfische to Human Relations (54 answers total)

I was set up on a blind date about 15 years ago; nothing came of it, of course. I think people do have more reliable ways of meeting than setups nowadays.
posted by La Cieca at 8:21 PM on June 23, 2013

I think it still happens -- I've been set up in the past and declined to Google or otherwise look the other person up on the Internet, because I knew enough through my friend to know that they weren't insane, and didn't want to form all kinds of preconceived notions. While I'll admit I had seen a picture in advance, I can imagine the same rationale being taken to the logical extreme of not looking at a picture either.
posted by telegraph at 8:24 PM on June 23, 2013

Internet dates are a lot like the traditional "blind date", I guess.

I've been set up by friends at parties and during group outings, but it's always been really awkward and never actually progressed. In those situations, it's more like, "Hey, Sara, this is Dude. You guys both like [thing], so you should definitely talk! Byeeeeeeeee!" then they flee the scene and I'm stuck having awkward conversation with someone my friends want to set me up with.

The prospect of going on a formal date with someone, sight unseen, name ungoogled, without talking on the phone or texting or exchanging ANY information seems completely foreign to me.
posted by Sara C. at 8:27 PM on June 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

I had one about 10 years ago which predates social media by a little bit. I can't imagine having one today, nor would I be willing anyway.
posted by MillMan at 8:27 PM on June 23, 2013

I went on one* blind date in the mid-1990s. I hadn't seen, met, talked to, or seen a photo of the guy in question before the date.

*A friend suggested I meet a friend of hers. She seemed so enthusiastic about the guy that I thought "Oh, how bad could it be?" Turns out, that isn't a rhetorical question and the answer is "Worse than you think. A lot worse."
posted by Elsa at 8:28 PM on June 23, 2013 [9 favorites]

I was an early match.com user, around 1995 or so. There was only email between you and the other party, no pre-Googling, and no pictures on profiles. That's the closest I've ever been to true blind dating...and it was damn scary (but also exciting I guess)
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:30 PM on June 23, 2013

I just remembered that an old friend of mine from high school has parents who supposedly met on a "blind" date. This would have been in the 60's or early 70's. I'm not sure how truly "blind" it was, like whether they talked on the phone before or maybe were mutual friends who had seen each other or knew about each other but hadn't actually met. Or maybe it was a situation like I described above, where they were introduced by friends and hit it off so well it became a date. Supposedly they both knew by the end of that blind date that they would someday get married.
posted by Sara C. at 8:30 PM on June 23, 2013

I had this happen a few years ago--friend of a friend. Also, last month I was offered to be set up on a blind date through a friend of a friend, but so far nothing has happened.
posted by so much modern time at 8:31 PM on June 23, 2013

I set up a friend on a "traditional" blind date recently. It led to more dates.
posted by J. Wilson at 8:35 PM on June 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

I had made plans to go to the movies with my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend; unbeknownst to me she had arranged for her common-law husband and his best friend to come along too. I still remember looking up as he walked in the room. He did not see any pictures of me or hear any description of me beyond my bra size (!?). I had no idea it was a "date" until after. I couldn't understand why he kept sitting beside me at the restaurant and movie (a Shaw brothers production) instead of letting me sit with my friend. I had assumed such a handsome and personable chap would obviously have a girlfriend so a blind date set-up didn't occur to me. This was fifteen years ago, we are celebrating our fourteenth wedding anniversary in month with our three children.
posted by saucysault at 8:41 PM on June 23, 2013 [24 favorites]

My sister met her husband on a blind date set up by a mutual friend. The friend had told them both for months that they should meet. They both finally gave in and went on the date. Married ten years now, two kids.
posted by woot at 8:41 PM on June 23, 2013

I've never set anyone up on a true blind date, but I've invited plenty of unmatched singles to events hoping that sparks might fly. You can't force it beyond arranging for people to meet.
posted by 26.2 at 8:47 PM on June 23, 2013

I went on a blind date in 2001 or 2002 because my friends insisted it would be good for me. We saw a funny play at a theatre, had a nice dinner and conversation at a popular pizza place, and that was that.
posted by aniola at 8:53 PM on June 23, 2013

My parents met on a blind date in 1973. I am not sure if he had seen a picture of her before.
posted by radioamy at 8:55 PM on June 23, 2013

I've been on legit blind dates. I've also been on online dates. There really wasn't much difference between the two in practice.
posted by no regrets, coyote at 8:58 PM on June 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

I went on one in 2009, on a whim. I told all my friends that I wanted to go on one, and one of them set me up. People definitely had Facebook by then (though I wasn't on it), but I chose not to see any pictures or do any prior Googling. I wanted the true blind date experience. It was fun!

I don't know anyone else who has done this, though.
posted by too bad you're not me at 9:02 PM on June 23, 2013

I was brought along to a barbecue as a blind date for one of the hosts. Our mutual friend had been telling each of us about the other for months. We met, we chatted, we played Jenga, and then about a month later (after being friends for a while), started dating.

This August will be our 15-year anniversary. Hooray for blind dates, I say!
posted by yellowcandy at 9:03 PM on June 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

I went on one blind date-- a double date with a classmate and her boyfriend -- when I was in high school. I was supposed to be set up with Guy X, but he decided he was going to skip the whole thing, so I found out the night of the date that I was going to be paired up with Guy Y.

It was a semi-fun but mostly awkward night and I have had absolutely no desire to repeat the experience, although I sometimes wonder what would have happened if Guy X hadn't chickened out.
posted by maudlin at 9:14 PM on June 23, 2013

Where I went to college there were two dorm semi-formals and either one or two dorm formals every year (for every dorm), and it was socially mandatory to attend at least one every year, with freshman and sophomores, who knew the least people, attending basically all of the dances. (There were also miscellaneous departmental, campus-wide, extracurricular, etc., formals and semi-formals, so the schedule really stacked up.) These were all date-requiring events, and if you didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, the "done" thing to do was to ask your friends to set you up. (Bringing a male FRIEND was considered a signal you wanted to date that friend, so people didn't really do that.)

Anyway I got blindly set up for these things five or six times, sometimes my own dances, sometimes other people's dances, with guys I had never met before they appeared at my dorm room in a suit and tie. (The rest of the time I went with actual dates, or with friends' friends whom I'd met at least once before.) A couple of times I saw snapshots in advance but most times I had no idea who they were or what they looked like until they showed up. This was slightly before widespread social networking and at the dawn of digital cameras (late 90s). The primary criterion was "my friend is cool so probably has cool friends, sure, I'm game to go to a random dance with someone I've never met!"

Nothing came of any of mine; some were perfectly nice guys with whom I had a nice evening chatting and dancing and thereafter chatted with if I ran into them on campus, a couple were total asses. Some of my friends met boyfriends or even future husbands on that kind of set-up.

I hadn't really thought of them as blind "dates" before (more like "college mixer mechanism," I guess) but they fit your criteria!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:16 PM on June 23, 2013

I went on an almost-blind date last year. We sent a few emails and talked on the phone beforehand. We never exchanged pictures and we both have comically common first and last names so there was no point in trying to google each other. We got along well enough to go on a second date but nothing came of it. Still, it was fun and I'd do it again if someone else offered to set me up.
posted by balacat at 9:21 PM on June 23, 2013

I have a friend who went on a blind date tonight - may still be on it, come to think of it.
posted by komara at 9:21 PM on June 23, 2013

In college, my father lived with two other guys, A and B. A's girlfriend lived with my mother and decided to set her up with on a blind date with B. However, B got sick and so my father substituted for him. All three guys figured that one blind date was as good as another and so it didn't matter.

This family origin story made me open to two blind dates during my single days in the early 1980s. One resulted in a pleasant evening and nothing more. But the other one was arranged by a guy I had been seeing casually, but there were no sparks. One day he announced that he thought I would hit it off really well with his brother and asked if he could arrange a date for us. His instincts were on target and the brother and I went on to have a nice romance.
posted by carmicha at 9:22 PM on June 23, 2013

My parents were set up on a blind date in 1972 by my dad's cousin. As it turned out, they had a number of other pretty close connections, and had flirted as pre-teens at Croatian-American functions. But in the lead up to the actual date, neither knew who they were getting set up with...and when my mom referred to her dad's friends as "Uncle Frank and Aunt Sylvia", who were my dad's *real* Uncle Frank and Aunt Sylvia, my dad briefly wondered if his cousin hadn't set him up with another cousin!
posted by notsnot at 9:24 PM on June 23, 2013

My folks met on a blind date in 1978. They both had friends who had set them up, and my dad showed up at my mom's house and took her out. A few months later, my dad, who is four years younger than my mom, gave her an ultimatum (!) to get married or he was moving on. My mom said "what the hell, I'm in my 30's, let's roll."

I showed up 5 years later; luckily, they didn't have any others or they'd have been driven up a tree long before now.

They're still married. I think it's because they both like to laugh a lot. So, December will be 35 years.
posted by sara is disenchanted at 9:26 PM on June 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

I was set up on three blind dates by various friends in 1979-1980. Two were ... just short of awful. One, we went on a few dates, but it never "took". I called an end to the blind dates at that point.

Interestingly, many years later, I met my husband online. Since it was a long distance relationship across two countries, we got to know each other pretty well before we actually met in person, though there was always that "what if it doesn't work face to face" concern. It did. That was 11 years ago.
posted by batikrose at 9:28 PM on June 23, 2013

I was set up on a blind date for my sorority formal last fall. The friend who matched us refused to tell me anything about him so I couldn't even look him up online. Although nothing came of it, he was a lot of fun so it turned out well!
posted by bonifate at 9:30 PM on June 23, 2013

I've been on three blind dates. One in the 80s (and we ended up awkwardly dating for summer), one in the 90s and once in 2001. More than anything, I've come to believe that a blind date is a measure of how much the person setting you up on the blind date knows and likes you. A co-worker and her husband set me up with HIS co-worker. I was appalled, to the point of thinking it was a practical joke. The blind date in 2001 was a horrible mismatch as well, but the matchmaker didn't know me well, and just thought I'd be a good influence on the other party. But yes, blind dates are not only still happening, but they are often requested. (I'd trust a good friend's tastes better than an OKC profile.)
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 9:30 PM on June 23, 2013

I went on a blind date in 2002. I had my friend all set to call me 20 minutes into the official 'date start time' with an excuse/emergency for why I needed to leave immediately. He called, but I never answered.

We're coming up on our 11th anniversary next month.
posted by matty at 9:34 PM on June 23, 2013 [3 favorites]

In my 20s which coincided with the 80s for the most part, I went on at least 7 blind dates. All 7 were set up by casual female acquaintances who set me up with their friends. There are some good stories with some. On one, I was supposed to meet the gal in a fairly popular bar. The problem was there were many people that fit the description I was given. I must have asked at least 5 random girls, "Are you Nancy?" before Nancy took pity on me and introduced herself. Several were real duds.

I am not sure if this fits your definition of a blind date, but I was once dragged to a party of about twenty people where I knew nobody but the one person dragging me. I was going specifically to meet this one girl. As soon as we walked into the apartment, I was introduced and my friend disappeared. I spoke to the girl for two hours, then left (stumbled) on my own. Prior to meeting her, I had no picture, no description and no name. Just, "Come to this party please to meet this friend of mine. I will even buy you pregae drinks." so I went. In fact I did not get her name until two days later when I asked my friend for her name and number. 18 months later, we were married.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:52 PM on June 23, 2013

Friend was dating a guy for a few weeks, and she had a single friend so we arranged a double date. It went very well, with the evening culminating in much sexy times. Unfortunately those times did not include me and my friend, as at the evening's end, our dates had left with each other.
posted by Sophont at 10:06 PM on June 23, 2013

I (sort of unintentionally) set up some friends on what was effectively a blind date, just a few years ago. They made the final arrangements themselves, so they would have talked on the phone before meeting in person, but I don't think they had seen pictures. They're married now.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:09 PM on June 23, 2013

While working together on a high school English project, my friend turned to me out of the blue and said, "I want to go on a date." At the time, I had a close guy friend J whose best friend was single. We ended up going on a double date (blind for my classmate and J's friend). Prior to the date, they did not talk to each other, on the phone or otherwise, and I don't recall exchanging photos. That was, um, 13 years ago? They're now happily married with several children.

There were a few things that contributed to their relationship being a success. My classmate and I had known each other for several years, as had J and his friend, and J and I were very close at the time. If there hadn't been such long standing relationships between various parties involved, I would not have been so confident that our friends would have hit it off. Also, we all shared similar religious beliefs and belonged to groups related to those beliefs, albeit different groups.

In the years since then, practically everyone has acquired a facebook or other social networking profile. I think the changes in technology mean any blind date arranged by two friends or acquaintances needs to be more valuable than any dating service or social networking available online. Meaning the information provided by whoever is setting up the date would need to be more comprehensive that the prospective date's online presence.
posted by youngergirl44 at 10:22 PM on June 23, 2013

I had one ... in about 1985 or so. My best friend got a long-desired date with someone, and she (the date) asked him (my friend) to set up her brother, who was home from the army or something.
posted by Occula at 10:23 PM on June 23, 2013

I sort of distantly know a couple who met on a blind date in 2004 arranged as part of a then-regular feature by a local alt-weekly newspaper. They became an item, got married, and are still together.
posted by Orinda at 10:45 PM on June 23, 2013

I went on a blind date a couple of years ago. I was chatting with a couple at the bar while waiting for someone, and we got to know each other well enough that they asked me if I would be interested in meeting a friend of theirs. All they really told me was that she's a doctor, Asian, and that they thought we would be compatible.

We all met up again together in a sort of double date a week later. It was a fun thing that I'd do again, even though nothing came of it.

I never saw a picture of her, but I suspect that she probably saw one of me (via Facebook), but I don't know for sure.
posted by danny the boy at 10:54 PM on June 23, 2013

My best friend met her now-husband on a sort of blind date.

We were in college, and I was student body treasurer and as part of some food drive the student government decided to do a date auction, where we auctioned off various eligible individuals for canned food, and the winners got a school-sponsored lunch date with the auctionee.

Anyway, I recruited my friend as one of the dates to be auctioned off, and her boss at the time sent some guy she knew whom she thought would like my friend, to bid on her. He won the bid, and they had their first date at the luncheon the following day.
posted by celtalitha at 11:18 PM on June 23, 2013

I've been on a couple, one in 2003 and one in 2006, simply someone saying, "I think you'd like x and that she would like you."

(While the concept's appealing because the matchmaker's supposed to have a clue about compatibility, sanity and such, and it's not a representative sample, they were both among the worst dates I've ever had.)

On a happier note, when my parents were in college more than 55 years ago and an item, they got their roommates to go on a blind date; they're still together.
posted by ambient2 at 11:32 PM on June 23, 2013

I was once ambushed into a blind date by my brother. He was a singles minister and invited me to go to a "group" event that turned out to be several dating couples, me, and one single dude.

It did not go well. For many reasons.

That was the day I formalized my "better single forever than marrying some random idiot" principle. And also ripped my brother a new one.
posted by emjaybee at 11:38 PM on June 23, 2013

My parents met on a blind date in 1973. I am not sure if he had seen a picture of her before.

Mine too except it would have been 1971 or 72. They're still happily married.
posted by shelleycat at 12:57 AM on June 24, 2013

OkCupid, about a year ago I think, released an App/feature called "Crazy Blind Date."

You scroll through local listings of your preferred gender that suggest meeting times/places, like "Let's meet up at the Starbucks on Grand at 8 pm on Tuesday" which you can choose to accept. Or you can put up a suggested time/meeting place and wait to see if someone out there accepts. If you agree to someone's date or someone agrees to yours, the app will allow the two of you to communicate only two hours before the time of the date, so you can confirm/coordinate how you will recognize each other at the location.

Granted, you do upload one picture to go along with your account, but they break the pic up into smaller squares and scramble them all around like a puzzle, so it can be difficult to get a real sense of what your date will look like.

I know that doesn't exactly meet the "real" blind date criteria you listed, but still, pretty close! And although the app/Feature is not all that popular with OkCupid's users, last I know it's still up and functioning.
posted by Squee at 1:28 AM on June 24, 2013

I went on two blind dates, both set up by my friends. I hadn't seen any pictures, but I guess the dates were initiated because the men saw pictures of me.

They both went horribly, as you might have guessed, when a date was set up solely because of the fact that the men saw my picture.
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper at 1:59 AM on June 24, 2013

A good friend of mine was set up on a blind date by her sister, with her sister's physical therapist about a year ago. They're engaged now.
posted by Fig at 2:27 AM on June 24, 2013

Had my one and only blind date around 1990. Friend of the woman a buddy of mine was involved with. Kind of a double date. She was about 15 years my senior. It was so awful, so uncomfortable, so completely lacking in any sort of chemistry that after about half an hour I politely excused myself and left. I think the woman was relieved as well. My friends squeeze never spoke to me again. Thankfully, they are not still together.
posted by elendil71 at 2:51 AM on June 24, 2013

I met my wife on a blind date in 1987. Although to be fair, it wasn't quite blind by your definition as we had been briefly introduced at a party previously. However, if I had passed her on the street the day before our date I'm not sure I would have recognized her from that brief meeting.
posted by COD at 4:39 AM on June 24, 2013

I went on a blind date as the first 'date' I went on after being married twenty years. It went well and might have gone better if I had had a clue how dating works. It was set up by my sister in law and the man was a friend of a friend that she always thought that I would like. We got along fine and actually did know people in common even though we had always lived at different ends of the metropolitan area. We still live too far apart to date easily.

And he was on no social media but has a Wikipedia page, in some specialized art circles he's a big deal. That gave us something to talk about.
posted by readery at 4:55 AM on June 24, 2013

My parents met on a blind date in December 1971 (set up by my dad's cousin who worked with my mom). In March 1972, they were married. This year was 41 years of marriage for them.

FWIW, there was a an article in Glamour recently about new apps and websites that promote blind dates. Maybe it was the May issue? I can't find it online, but if I can find the actual magazine, I'll let you know.
posted by mrfuga0 at 5:42 AM on June 24, 2013

My sister (mid 20's) had one or two this year.
And some from the internet that werent quite blind.
posted by Jacen at 5:44 AM on June 24, 2013

I went on a blind date in 2010. A casual acquaintance sent an e-mail to me and Prospective Date, knowing that we lived in the same city and shared an obscure interest. I did google him, but nothing came up. We met at a cafe, really hit it off, and dated for several months until one of us moved.
posted by munyeca at 6:22 AM on June 24, 2013

Yes! My (now) husband and I were set up by another couple; I'd gone to college with one of them, and DH worked with the other one. They knew I was interested in meeting people. This was in 2000, we've been together ever since. Prior to our date, I had just heard about him--never saw a picture of him or spoke with him.

Turns out that both sets of our parents met on blind dates, too (this was in the early 1970s).

Blind dates FTW!
posted by FergieBelle at 7:49 AM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

I should probably point out that by blind date, we mean not only that two people set up on a date together hadn't previously met, not only that they hadn't talked to each other on the phone, but *also* that they hadn't seen pictures of each other.

In my early days of internet dating, I went on a couple first dates with no pictures and not much information at all to go on, and without talking on the phone. Not sure if that counts, but it definitely felt "blind"!

(they did not go well, and I won't meet up with online people without pictures now).
posted by randomnity at 8:08 AM on June 24, 2013

A close friend of mine set me up on a blind date in 2004. She'd been telling me about this guy she worked with and how I'd like him because he was skinny and we both owned a copy of Siddhartha (yeah, wtf, I know...). We met at a party at her house, hit it off, and dated for about 6-8 months until he dumped me in spectacular fashion. I saw him a few years ago while passing through his city and occasionally get the "Hey, what's up?" text.
posted by jabes at 8:31 AM on June 24, 2013

I did it in England around 2003/4. It was OK, although nothing came of it. I was a student, so it wasn't particularly serious. Still caused a little college gossip.

Outside of Uni events, I haven't heard of anyone else doing it.
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 8:56 AM on June 24, 2013

I had a blind date a couple of years ago. Can't remember whether I saw pictures of him beforehand or not.
posted by bunderful at 7:36 PM on June 24, 2013

I went on a blind date last week. It was perfectly fine, but nothing came out of it.
posted by sprezzy at 9:45 PM on June 25, 2013