Stevie deserves better
September 14, 2005 11:46 PM Subscribe
My cat hates me. She hates city life, and she deserves better.
Recently I moved from suburbia to San Francisco. My previously indoor/ outdoor cat is not pleased. She has no room to run. I work 14+ hours a day, and I am gone most weekends- I am no reliable source of companionship or entertainment.
I have never been much of a cat person but ended up with her after a roomate situation disbanded. I'm trying to do the right thing- but we are both miserable. Unfortunately no friends or family want my old cat, and FWIW- I am not interested in a second cat.
My cat is not going to the pound, and unless I find a good home- will not go to a stranger.
Anyone have any other ideas?
Recently I moved from suburbia to San Francisco. My previously indoor/ outdoor cat is not pleased. She has no room to run. I work 14+ hours a day, and I am gone most weekends- I am no reliable source of companionship or entertainment.
I have never been much of a cat person but ended up with her after a roomate situation disbanded. I'm trying to do the right thing- but we are both miserable. Unfortunately no friends or family want my old cat, and FWIW- I am not interested in a second cat.
My cat is not going to the pound, and unless I find a good home- will not go to a stranger.
Anyone have any other ideas?
Climbing structure with a view through a secure window.
posted by tangerine at 12:41 AM on September 15, 2005
posted by tangerine at 12:41 AM on September 15, 2005
Perhaps you could make up a nice flyer about Stevie, explaining the situation, and ask vets in your area to display it - they will have regular clients who are "good homes", they may for example, be able to recommend your cat to an animal lover who has had to have a pet put to sleep.
I worked at a shelter, and no matter how unhappy the cat may be at your home, a shelter is 100x more traumatic. The last resort, definitely.
Good for you for taking responsibility and best of luck.
posted by Catch at 3:00 AM on September 15, 2005
I worked at a shelter, and no matter how unhappy the cat may be at your home, a shelter is 100x more traumatic. The last resort, definitely.
Good for you for taking responsibility and best of luck.
posted by Catch at 3:00 AM on September 15, 2005
Something else to consider, since I don't know how recent the move was...
Cats *hate* change. Hate hate hate it. You can discombobulate a cat for quite a while merely by rearranging the furniture in your apartment--you think that you've just moved the coffee table and the wing chair in the living room, but you've just destroyed her mental map of "things I can carom off of while running through the house at three in the morning."
If the move was *very* recent, a pissed-off cat may be the norm for a while; give things time to settle in, and make an extra effort to be a pal when you're home.
posted by enrevanche at 3:24 AM on September 15, 2005
Cats *hate* change. Hate hate hate it. You can discombobulate a cat for quite a while merely by rearranging the furniture in your apartment--you think that you've just moved the coffee table and the wing chair in the living room, but you've just destroyed her mental map of "things I can carom off of while running through the house at three in the morning."
If the move was *very* recent, a pissed-off cat may be the norm for a while; give things time to settle in, and make an extra effort to be a pal when you're home.
posted by enrevanche at 3:24 AM on September 15, 2005
> That is so sad....
And not just for the cat.
Maybe you could not work so much? That's about twice a normal day's work. If you worked fewer hours and spent some time at home, you and your cat would be healthier and happier.
But if you can't do that (sold your soul?), then maybe give the cat to someone who can be home for longer than sleeping between work shifts.
posted by pracowity at 3:53 AM on September 15, 2005
And not just for the cat.
Maybe you could not work so much? That's about twice a normal day's work. If you worked fewer hours and spent some time at home, you and your cat would be healthier and happier.
But if you can't do that (sold your soul?), then maybe give the cat to someone who can be home for longer than sleeping between work shifts.
posted by pracowity at 3:53 AM on September 15, 2005
Vaportrail--I feel for you. We had the coolest cat ever who was still hating our new house after 2 years because we are renovating it (and will be renovating it for 8-9 years more.) So, I finally bit the bullet and wrote up and ad with pictures on Craigslist. I had three very nice folks inquire about him, and now he is placed with a lovely couple who live in a MUCH nicer situation. He is loving life. I miss him but he is really happier there. The AskMefi folk helped me to brainstorm about this here.
posted by jeanmari at 4:57 AM on September 15, 2005
posted by jeanmari at 4:57 AM on September 15, 2005
In the short term, provide entertainment. Climbing structure with a view is a great idea. Get a bird feeder and put it someplace where she can see it. Catnip.
Do you have any sort of yard at all? If she's not afraid of outside, you may be able to put her in a harness or get one of those outdoor cat playpen things.
posted by Medieval Maven at 5:21 AM on September 15, 2005
Do you have any sort of yard at all? If she's not afraid of outside, you may be able to put her in a harness or get one of those outdoor cat playpen things.
posted by Medieval Maven at 5:21 AM on September 15, 2005
Cat harnesses are a cruel joke in my experience. I've yet to meet a cat that can tolerate one of those things. We own two of them here and the cats absolutely hate them.
My GF and I recently moved from a tiny, tiny studio apartment in LA to a huge two bedroom apartment with lots of windowsills and things to look at. 5+ months later one cat is just starting to adjust and the other is still neurotic and skittish as hell, and worse, has developed a very annoying pee fetish to show her displeasure.
Cats wig out. Even now, the neurotic one is currently running laps around the apartment at breakneck speed and sliding the carpets around. In a moment she's probably going to pee on something right in front of me. *grumble*
posted by loquacious at 5:35 AM on September 15, 2005
My GF and I recently moved from a tiny, tiny studio apartment in LA to a huge two bedroom apartment with lots of windowsills and things to look at. 5+ months later one cat is just starting to adjust and the other is still neurotic and skittish as hell, and worse, has developed a very annoying pee fetish to show her displeasure.
Cats wig out. Even now, the neurotic one is currently running laps around the apartment at breakneck speed and sliding the carpets around. In a moment she's probably going to pee on something right in front of me. *grumble*
posted by loquacious at 5:35 AM on September 15, 2005
Do not leave any cat outside and unattended in a harness--they can slip out of them very easily.
It's easy for us to say, "don't get rid of the cat," but it sounds as if you've made up your mind and decided it's the right thing to do. I have three cats and though I'd do anything for them, I do have sympathy for anyone who ends up in your situation.
Here's a link to Petfinder's listing of rescue groups/shelters in California (scroll way down for SF). Try to find a cat-only rescue group (not a shelter) with whom you can put out the word about Stevie. Take a look at an adoption application to see what kinds of questions they ask, and ask what the screening process for potential adopters is like. Especially if you're willing to keep Stevie until they find a new home, it shouldn't be too hard to find a group that you're comfortable with. (In other words, you'd be "fostering" Stevie until they find a place for her.)
Feel free to e-mail me. I'm not in CA, but I adopted all my cats from rescues, so I can give you some info from that end.
posted by CiaoMela at 6:02 AM on September 15, 2005
It's easy for us to say, "don't get rid of the cat," but it sounds as if you've made up your mind and decided it's the right thing to do. I have three cats and though I'd do anything for them, I do have sympathy for anyone who ends up in your situation.
Here's a link to Petfinder's listing of rescue groups/shelters in California (scroll way down for SF). Try to find a cat-only rescue group (not a shelter) with whom you can put out the word about Stevie. Take a look at an adoption application to see what kinds of questions they ask, and ask what the screening process for potential adopters is like. Especially if you're willing to keep Stevie until they find a new home, it shouldn't be too hard to find a group that you're comfortable with. (In other words, you'd be "fostering" Stevie until they find a place for her.)
Feel free to e-mail me. I'm not in CA, but I adopted all my cats from rescues, so I can give you some info from that end.
posted by CiaoMela at 6:02 AM on September 15, 2005
if you can't find her a home, maybe consider getting a fishtank? it's like cat tv.
posted by mandlebrotz at 8:35 AM on September 15, 2005
posted by mandlebrotz at 8:35 AM on September 15, 2005
Laser pointers and fishtanks won't help much if the cat is used to going outside. Really.
I second the Craigslist suggestion. Talk to people on the phone to be sure they seem nice, then take the cat to their place to check it out. Be sure that any pets they currently have are well-treated. Be sure they are nice folks. Then you're good to go. (If introducing the cat to a multi-cat home, expect fighting until they sort things out.)
Keep the cat.
posted by corpse
Is this a troll? If not, care to justify your response?
posted by agropyron at 8:48 AM on September 15, 2005
I second the Craigslist suggestion. Talk to people on the phone to be sure they seem nice, then take the cat to their place to check it out. Be sure that any pets they currently have are well-treated. Be sure they are nice folks. Then you're good to go. (If introducing the cat to a multi-cat home, expect fighting until they sort things out.)
Keep the cat.
posted by corpse
Is this a troll? If not, care to justify your response?
posted by agropyron at 8:48 AM on September 15, 2005
Fishtank, or a bird feeder outside one of your windows.
My cat won't play with most toys, but I finally found one she likes: a catnip mouse suspended by a bungee cord from a hook. It goes over the door and the mouse hovers about 9 inches off the floor. She'll bat that around and attack it as it swings by, then "kill" it and drag it into the other room, where it "struggles" (due to the tension on the bungee) and "escapes," whereupon she chases it again. It's fun for me to play with her using this toy, but she is also fully capable of amusing herself with it too. In fact she plays with it so much that after a couple weeks she had taken enough spring out of the bungee that the mouse was actually resting on the floor, and I had to wind the cord up onto the hook to elevate it. Now she's done it again and I have to wind it up again. In a couple more weeks I'll need a new one because she will have completely de-springied the bungee.
posted by kindall at 8:50 AM on September 15, 2005
My cat won't play with most toys, but I finally found one she likes: a catnip mouse suspended by a bungee cord from a hook. It goes over the door and the mouse hovers about 9 inches off the floor. She'll bat that around and attack it as it swings by, then "kill" it and drag it into the other room, where it "struggles" (due to the tension on the bungee) and "escapes," whereupon she chases it again. It's fun for me to play with her using this toy, but she is also fully capable of amusing herself with it too. In fact she plays with it so much that after a couple weeks she had taken enough spring out of the bungee that the mouse was actually resting on the floor, and I had to wind the cord up onto the hook to elevate it. Now she's done it again and I have to wind it up again. In a couple more weeks I'll need a new one because she will have completely de-springied the bungee.
posted by kindall at 8:50 AM on September 15, 2005
I just want to provide a note of support for searching for a better home. A cat who does not have companionship for 14 hours a day, when the owner is their only stimulation, and then I assume you are asleep, and who especially cannot go out anymore is having an absolutely miserable life. I do not think it is an adjustment period, nor do I think that changing your schedule is the answer.
My SO's mother recently moved from a house in Denver where her 2 cats ruled the neighborhood, jumped over 6' fences, caught birds, and lounged in the alley, to a 200 ft^2 studio in Manhattan, next to the Midtown Tunnell. They both pee like crazy, and I feel extremely sorry for them. An unhappy cat takes a toll on the owner's state of mind as well. I feel like its' traumatic to cut off a cat's view of the world inasmuch as taking away their ability to go outside. Your lives do not seem compatible anymore. jeanmari testifies to how finding it a better home can work out. I hate to be harsh, but I beleive that a cat needs a certain quality of life, and keeping a cat in a miserable situation is an abuse of your responsibility as an owner.
So I encourage you to find a good home, even that of a stranger, one with a house in the hills or the suburbs, a backyard, and many companions. Good luck!
posted by scazza at 9:08 AM on September 15, 2005
My SO's mother recently moved from a house in Denver where her 2 cats ruled the neighborhood, jumped over 6' fences, caught birds, and lounged in the alley, to a 200 ft^2 studio in Manhattan, next to the Midtown Tunnell. They both pee like crazy, and I feel extremely sorry for them. An unhappy cat takes a toll on the owner's state of mind as well. I feel like its' traumatic to cut off a cat's view of the world inasmuch as taking away their ability to go outside. Your lives do not seem compatible anymore. jeanmari testifies to how finding it a better home can work out. I hate to be harsh, but I beleive that a cat needs a certain quality of life, and keeping a cat in a miserable situation is an abuse of your responsibility as an owner.
So I encourage you to find a good home, even that of a stranger, one with a house in the hills or the suburbs, a backyard, and many companions. Good luck!
posted by scazza at 9:08 AM on September 15, 2005
Suggestions: fish tank, leave your TV on (a nature channel if you have one), set up a place where Stevie can look outside and hang a bird feeder within view, lots of love and play when you are home.
I hope you find a good solution. If you do get desperate, send me an email. I live in BC, in fairly tight quarters (an RV) and already have two cats. But I'd foster Stevie until I could find her a good home.
loq - my cats (Oliver & Abigail) love their harnesses. Abigail is content to be staked out in the yard (with supervision, of course). Oliver loves his walkies and the whole neighbourhood knows who he is.
posted by deborah at 9:44 AM on September 15, 2005
I hope you find a good solution. If you do get desperate, send me an email. I live in BC, in fairly tight quarters (an RV) and already have two cats. But I'd foster Stevie until I could find her a good home.
loq - my cats (Oliver & Abigail) love their harnesses. Abigail is content to be staked out in the yard (with supervision, of course). Oliver loves his walkies and the whole neighbourhood knows who he is.
posted by deborah at 9:44 AM on September 15, 2005
Response by poster: Thanks for everyone's advice. There are some solid ideas up here. Craigslist has been good to me over the years, maybe I can find a good home for her there.
posted by vaportrail at 6:06 PM on September 15, 2005
posted by vaportrail at 6:06 PM on September 15, 2005
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by mildred-pitt at 12:02 AM on September 15, 2005