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This Is My Dog, Reginald McPimplewagon
November 10, 2008 6:59 PM   Subscribe

I now own an untitled cat. Inspire me with ridiculous pet names you've encountered.

Followup from last week's kitteh post. I adopted a fuzzball [.jpg] today! As predicted, he's freaking out under my bed right now—good call on that.

I have always looked forward to adopting a pet, because I'd get to give it an incredibly stupid, original name. Now that the time has arrived, I'm actually coming up short on ideas. I considered Mega Man and Proto Man, but Wernher von Braun is my top idea right now.

I need inspiration. What pets have you known with unbelievably bizarre names? Real pets only, please; the realm of potential stupid names is infinite.
posted by spamguy to Pets & Animals (172 answers total) 38 users marked this as a favorite
 
I found the Necronomicon to be a fine source for pet names. Azazel ran away from my house a day before he was to be neutered. ;)
posted by emptyinside at 7:03 PM on November 10, 2008


A friend who lived in an apartment where no pets were allowed named his cat "Fish." That way, he figured, if the landlord asked whether any pets (or cats) were living in the unit he could reply truthfully, saying, "Only Fish."
posted by carmicha at 7:04 PM on November 10, 2008 [18 favorites]


I've always liked Eustace and Boomer for cat names.
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 7:05 PM on November 10, 2008


Xangor: Bringer of Doom.
posted by Picklegnome at 7:06 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


My boyfriends roommate has a cat named 'Snoopy'... which is so ridiculous that we all just call her 'kitty'. So I can't exactly call that a recommendation...

I also am partial to "Mr. Bigglesworth", Dr. Evil's cat in the Austin Powers movies.
posted by veronicacorningstone at 7:06 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


My family has had the following pets over the last 30 years (obviously this is not all of them)

Blob (a whiny puppy who grew up)
Oscar Foppington Swish (his brother, a pretty labrador cross)
Morticia (their mother - a black lab cross)

Catrin (a cat)
Darling (a cat)
Wobbles (her brother)
Dingaling (their kid)
Uncle Bill (some relation but not certain exactly)
Nutsy (their cohabitant cat)

Boris (another cat)

Priscilla aka Scrap (another cat)

Dr Gordon Freeman aka Dooty (not duty) (another cat)
Vladimyr Tepes (his cohabitant cat)

Doc (another cat)
Arthur aka Arfur (another cat)

Sam and Roger (brother cats)

Holly and Cam (cats of a rev head)

Napoleon (the guinea pig) aka Nappy
posted by b33j at 7:08 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Bruce. Just.....Bruce.
posted by pearlybob at 7:08 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Doctor Harbl. It's the nerdiest name ever because it references (a) Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog; (b) LOLcats; (c) Doctor Who, if only because we can refer to him as "The Doctor."
posted by Jeanne at 7:08 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


JR Mewing
posted by GaelFC at 7:08 PM on November 10, 2008


the little girls across the street got a kitten, and named him Zeus. I thought it was funny, anyway.

If we get a dog, I want to name it Chris, Jr. (after the husband, we don't plan on having kids, so...) and just calling it "junior".
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 7:08 PM on November 10, 2008


I have 2 dogs and 2 cats and have decided - the "LOST" fan that I am - that if I ever get another dog/cat it's name will be "ECHO"!
posted by pamspanda at 7:09 PM on November 10, 2008


Chairman Meow
posted by jtfowl0 at 7:11 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


My cat is officially named "El Diablo de la Tierra del Fuego". Semi-officially he is "Diablo".

Of course, the only thing I call him is "D".
posted by tristeza at 7:12 PM on November 10, 2008


Pumpernickel. Merkshire. Horace. Gefilte Fish. Lazio. Omar. Dungeon. Proust. Basil. Brentwood.

We know a cat named Merkshire and have two ourselves, Horace and Trudy. The rest just came to me in free association while staring at your cutie (aw!).
posted by ifjuly at 7:13 PM on November 10, 2008


I like people names for pets...
Examples: Greg, Linda, Martha, Steve, Ronald...
posted by k8t at 7:14 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Poop sandwich. It's a long story.

But a great cat.
posted by overhauser at 7:15 PM on November 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


It doesn't matter what you name the cat. Generally, you'll never actually call it that. I have three cats, named Zoey, Pippin & Trixie.

Mostly, they are w00t, Beeper & LuluBeez. Additionally, Cody the dog is typically Bear, or Stankboy, when he gets into the cat litter for delicious snacks.
posted by kellyblah at 7:16 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I knew a cat named Fuggles, after the type of hops. These were dedicated closet-brewers, though.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 7:17 PM on November 10, 2008


Astrophe.

As in Cat-Astrophe.
posted by chrisbucks at 7:18 PM on November 10, 2008 [5 favorites]


I think I may have mentioned this on MeFi somewhere before, but when I was growing up my parents got a cat from some (presumably) hippie friend of theirs, and her name (the cat, not the hippie) was Bright New Ray of Hope.
My dad decided that this was too unwieldy for everyday use, so we just called her Of for short.
posted by exceptinsects at 7:20 PM on November 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


I've known of animals named Showcase Showdown, and Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P., and my boyfriend is still mad that we didn't name our dog Pancakes & Waffles. My boyfriend and I always try to think of the most human names that would be funny for pets. Like Jonathan, Jeremy, Blake, Lindsay, Courtney, or basically any name that was popular for people who are teenagers or in their early 20s now that aren't classic enough or funny enough to be a traditionally good dog name.
posted by fructose at 7:20 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


I have a friend who has a cat named poo foot (guess why). An old roommate almost named her cat poopfred (after her great grandfather Poopfred Reinhardt!!!) Also we used to have a cat named Skeletor (and who was emasculated by our female roommates who called him skelly-poo). All good cat names. My current roommate's cat is named Toonces, has gotten the nickname of Shithead (pronounced Shith-EED). Man, I keep a certain type of friend, huh?

Maybe Richard Parker? Catty Catterson?
posted by Large Marge at 7:21 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh, and a friend of mine had cats named "Salad" and "Ronald Reagan".
posted by exceptinsects at 7:22 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Louis Hémon had it right: "Cat" is the best name for a cat.
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 7:26 PM on November 10, 2008


A few cats I've know: Crackbaby, Pixel, Ziggy, Herman, Lardo, Shiznit.
posted by mrbarrett.com at 7:27 PM on November 10, 2008


Hooter.
posted by carmicha at 7:29 PM on November 10, 2008


my friend had a cat named "short dog" it still makes me laugh to this day.
posted by thisisnotkatrina at 7:30 PM on November 10, 2008 [8 favorites]


Oh sweet-looking kitteh! I kinda like Wernher Von Braun, though I hear it spoken by my german mother: Venner Phon ....
Speaking of Mutti, she INSISTS that cats prefer names with an "s" sound in it, so maybe einstein, max planck, heisenberg, niels bohr. Or, along that theme, Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle (4 "s" sounds!), the EWG many worlds theory of wave collapse (I think there's a better name for that theory). Or more to the point: Schroedinger's kitteh? Quantum Chaos? (This may become particularly suitable for general kitty rambunctiousness and abbreviates to kwoo-see nicely.)

Maybe it's just me, but pets' names kinda seem to organically arise with some nudging. Nicknames are a free-for-all, but I would wait to see what kinda personality your kitteh reveals after the freakout period for the name. (For the record, the SO and I play hand percussion and named our new kittens after indigenous drums: the male is Udu, an african "vessel" drum, and the female is Bouka, short for darbouka, a hugely popular goblet drum.)


Good luck and have fun!
posted by Jezebella at 7:30 PM on November 10, 2008


Add Mister, Doctor, Colonel or some other such nonsense to whatever name you choose. I've known cats named Mr. Pants (Adult Swim reference), Colonel Pumpkin, a standard for the ladies is Miss Kitty.

I had a cat named Cyrano de Bergacat (Cyrano for short), because he had a big nose.

A friend of a friend had a cat named Fat Cat (after the sandwich), he got another cat and named it Baby Fat. However Baby Fat wound up growing up to big MUCH bigger than Fat Cat.
posted by pokeedog at 7:31 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


I prefer names which reflect the animal in question, so we have Grizelda Grizzleguts, the whingiest cat in the world. Known usually as and "kitty", "zelda", "fathead", "primary cat" or (and only by my parents) "Grizzy". And the second addition, Tabitha de Broglie (she's both stripey AND spotty), more often "Tabby", "Secondary Cat", or "wothaveyougotnowCOMEBACKHEREdamitOW".

They do not get along.
posted by coriolisdave at 7:33 PM on November 10, 2008


Sir Pukesalot. Pestilence Joe (a cat who was sick a lot). Vomitous Rex. Jabba the Cat.
posted by Justinian at 7:33 PM on November 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


Doodlebug
Tigerlilly
Fuss Bucket
Fuzzzzface
The Little Miss
The Baroness Von Meowzershine
Puppy

These are all names and titles of just one beloved cat, who we usually call "Kitten" said in a singsong voice so it's more like "KEHt-ten!"

Other cats I have known:
Yawp
Malajust
Stripe
Gandolf
posted by nelleish at 7:34 PM on November 10, 2008


We've always named our cats with human names that end in the "ee" sound. That's awfully boring, but the cats who live across the street were named by their then-nine-year-old boy owner: Booger (huge, HUGE black cat who follows families down the street for attention) and Mr. Wiggles (who is a girl-cat). I don't know if it's just the fact that I know the kid, but dammit if the name "Mr. Wiggles" for a girl cat doesn't make me smile every day.
posted by cooker girl at 7:35 PM on November 10, 2008


I want to name my next cat Chairman Meow.
posted by Mr. Anthropomorphism at 7:40 PM on November 10, 2008


I like this person's cat's name "Edward Appleby"
posted by meeshell at 7:40 PM on November 10, 2008


I had two fish called Dave Hedgehog and Spudgun (after the characters from the Brit comedy show Bottom. He looks like he could be a Dave Hedgehog to me.

Or perhaps Ernst Stavro Blofeld, named after the Bond villan with the cat. As in "no, Mr Bond, I expect you to die". The cat does look like he's planning an evil scheme, possibly involving a nuclear warhead and a bit of string.

My wife also makes the suggestion of Morpheus, in honor of the king of dreams.
posted by baggers at 7:41 PM on November 10, 2008


Four standouts for me:

Velcro - tried to hold on to the carpet when he was being picked up
Spite - self-evident
Asphalt - a black cat

And my very own black kitty, Rosa Parks. I adopted Rosa lo these many years from the Tucson Humane Society, along with her brother Einstein (yeah, he was really dumb). Rosa was in the cat carrier in the back seat of my old Volkswagen, meowing her head off the whole way home. Well, she was black and didn't want to sit in the back seat. What would you call her?
posted by workerant at 7:43 PM on November 10, 2008 [7 favorites]


Pywacket, Mr Choo, Fiver, Asa, Ashton are some names I remember when I worked for a vet in high school.

When I was about 5, I insisted on naming the new cat Pinky. I didn't care that it was a male, I loved the color pink and after all, his nose was pink.

I now own Smokey and Bentley. Both shelter cats. Bentley is named after the motor car, his little motor (purring) never stops.
posted by JujuB at 7:43 PM on November 10, 2008


A friend of mine had a rabbit named Spatula. My rabbit's name is Holly Golightly, but we never call her that- we usually just go with Rabbit, (the) Rabs, or Senorita Fuzzbutt (but only when she's shedding).
posted by Thin Lizzy at 7:44 PM on November 10, 2008


Dammit, are you kidding me jtfowl0?
posted by Mr. Anthropomorphism at 7:45 PM on November 10, 2008


My cat started out as just "Baz". Three years later he now prefers the more formal version: Baron the Inspector Sir Sebastian Bazzy Baz of Bazington the Third.

So don't think whatever you come up with now is in any way limiting.
posted by marylynn at 7:46 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Paypal
Professor Meowsington
posted by lxs at 7:48 PM on November 10, 2008


I know a cat named, "Dog." He's awesome.
posted by GPF at 7:48 PM on November 10, 2008


My cat is Puddle. He doesn't make puddles, he's just a puddle of love.

I like mythological names for cats too: Fenrir, Freyja, Bastet (obviously), Osiris, Odin, Hera, Zeus, Jupiter.

It makes them sound all properly dignified (although they would argue they don't need a name for that :D
posted by Mouse Army at 7:51 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Scotty Floorboards.
Baby Sparkle.
Little Baby Jesus --> time passes --> Big Baby Jesus
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:51 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh, and
Fucko.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:52 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


George Herbert Walker Bush Kat, but call him 1 for short. (1 because he is your first cat. Or 41 after the prez) Or call him Barack Husein Obama and call him BAMmer or Barry for short.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:52 PM on November 10, 2008


I just met a dog named Pork.
posted by amarynth at 7:54 PM on November 10, 2008


Marbles
Smooch
Lunch
Dog
Smidgen
Tyranny
posted by biscotti at 7:55 PM on November 10, 2008


My cat doesn't have a name per se. She has a title.

The Mogget.
posted by ninazer0 at 7:59 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


HRH Percival Fur-Legs, the Duke of Buttlick-upon-Duvet
posted by brain cloud at 7:59 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


One of my friends has a cat named Wendell. She is not a member of Metafilter.
posted by divabat at 7:59 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


My puss was named "Sampson" at the shelter, but he now goes by "Sam Katz" like the fat Jewish man that he is.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:01 PM on November 10, 2008


(Oh, and my mom's Jack Russell is Barney Google)
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:02 PM on November 10, 2008


my rabbit is named Baron von Floppy Ears.
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:04 PM on November 10, 2008


Your cat should be Ron Paul.
posted by theiconoclast31 at 8:10 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I met a cat named "Face Man" some time ago; that's always amused me.
posted by TochterAusElysium at 8:10 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Friar Tuck.
posted by cachondeo45 at 8:20 PM on November 10, 2008


My cat (Kali) just climbed onto my lap, so I better answer.

My favorite cat name is "Loaf" because that's what they do.

But why are you asking us? Do you need a name right away? My experience is that cat names usually present themselves depending on the cat's personality. We have had cats named Scoop (who liked to be scooped up), Rocket (who would dart quickly to the other end of the house very quickly for no reason), Estela Maria Rodriguez (who ate most of a plate of tacos I foolishly left on the table), Squeak (who squeaked a lot), Wad (who was curled up in a ball on the couch much of the time), and Chicken Biscuit (I have no idea where this came from).

I swear I have never had more than two cats at a time.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:26 PM on November 10, 2008


Colors.
posted by Kudos at 8:28 PM on November 10, 2008


My brother's cat is Mr. President. As in "Are you hungry, Mr. President?! Did Mr. President do a poo pooo?"

A friend named her cat Dinner.

There is always Claude Lemieux.
posted by oflinkey at 8:32 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


One of my cats was Count Chocula. Because he was so regal and chocolaty.

The other was Sasquatch. Since he was mysterious as hell.
posted by medeine at 8:33 PM on November 10, 2008


Mork! Our cat's name is Mork... there was a dog named Mindy but she's moved on to another world. But Mork alone is just fantastic.
posted by hooper4 at 8:37 PM on November 10, 2008


Potsie.
posted by dirtdirt at 8:39 PM on November 10, 2008


From my aunt, Alex P. Kitten. From a friend of my girlfriend, Margaret Catwood.
posted by equalpants at 8:45 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


It doesn't matter what you name the cat. Generally, you'll never actually call it that.

Sad but true. They usually end up with all manner of stupid nicknames. My dear cat Digory spent much of her life being called "Boogs" (short for "you little booger.")

One of my current cats is "Maledicta" (basically means "swear words")--she's very squawky.

I'm a great fan of The Usual Suspects and would love to have a pair of male cats named Verbal Kitt and Dean Kitten. My husband has a weird prejudice against male cats, though, so I doubt I'll ever get my wish.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:48 PM on November 10, 2008


My favorite name of all the cats I've ever known: Eartha Kitten
posted by lgandme0717 at 8:49 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


My cats are named Frankenstein and Turkey. Female and male, respectively.
posted by alpha_betty at 8:54 PM on November 10, 2008


I've always been partial to naming a fluffy animal "total annihilation".
posted by Verdandi at 8:55 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Joe the cat?
posted by iamkimiam at 8:58 PM on November 10, 2008


Rex.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:58 PM on November 10, 2008


Brad Pitt.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:59 PM on November 10, 2008


Boingo, even when he was tiny, could bounce quite nicely over the neighbor's little fence. Pica has also been known as Pika-pika (like Picachu!). There's a couple of strays that come by fairly often who have acquired names: Captain Ocelot & Creamsicle Kitty. Oh, and our beloved lost Madeline (Maddy) was sometimes called Greymalkin (I don't know why), and Madeline Not-Bright. (We got her in the late 90s.) Our habit lately has been to come up with "Code Name: N" type names: Code Name Orca, Code Name Cinna-bomb, etc.
posted by epersonae at 9:03 PM on November 10, 2008


My cousin's cats are named Mocha and Maruko. Cute name, but every time I think of Mocha, I want to drink him. Just kidding.

Foo, then next cat's Bar, then Baz.

Fubar, but then you got a beautiful kitty, so don't go with that.

Baron Munchmeowsen.
posted by curagea at 9:04 PM on November 10, 2008


Houseguest: "So, what's your new kitties' names?"

Me: "This one is Mouse. Isn't he cute. And the white one? Well, his name is still pending."

Houseguest: "How cute! C'mere, Pending! Pending? Pennnnding..."

And it stuck.
posted by majick at 9:07 PM on November 10, 2008 [6 favorites]


We inherited Mary Tyler Moore & Ted Baxter.

It was funnier when I didn't know who Mary Tyler Moore was, but I just find something amusing about non-pet names on cats, and especially when you've got a full name, all pronounced.

But I'd probably just go for something like 'Dog'.
(I called my first goldfish Bear, and clearly I was an inspired 3 year old)
posted by Elysum at 9:12 PM on November 10, 2008


I've known people who named their cats K.L. (after kale--yes, the vegetable) and Slench (after, uh, slenches?).

Not sure what that says about the people I run with. . . .
posted by chicainthecity at 9:12 PM on November 10, 2008


My supervisor at work's cat was named Porkchop; my coworker's cats are Mordred (since deceased) and Morgana. I've known a Beethoven as well.

John Scalzi, the SF author, has a cat named Ghlaghghee, whom you know better as Bacon Cat. It's pronounced "Fluffy."
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:15 PM on November 10, 2008


Mt cat is named Lord Borax Killinghurst. We were watching Olympic dressage and saw a horse named Lord Killinghurst and Borax was his shelter name and it just kind of fit.
posted by youcancallmeal at 9:15 PM on November 10, 2008


A few of my previous kitty names: Hazel Banana, Splotch, Big Johnson (he was a tiny, skinny, nonthreatening kitty), and Harley. I named my mom's new cat Tallulah (called LuLu) and my own current kitty Imogene (a.k.a. Mo, MoMo, Madame Mo, Momogene, Moany Mo, MoMo the Destroyer, Mo the Deadly Panther, Pity Kitty, and Our Psychotic Mistress).
posted by mostlymartha at 9:20 PM on November 10, 2008


My sister had a cat named Button Scooter Ladder.
posted by SampleSize at 9:36 PM on November 10, 2008


I knew someone who had cats named Jeff, Greg, Janine and Dennis. Personally I find these names pretty outrageous on, you know, a cat. It was kind of cool too because you could never tell whether she was talking about friends or her pets; "I was so upset with Jeff last night... I had to use a spray bottle on him to stop him tearing up the couch again. He's out late so too. Do you think he's upset that Janine has been rejecting his advances?"

Like an awesome soap opera.
posted by lottie at 9:36 PM on November 10, 2008 [6 favorites]


My dad's roommate once had a cat named "The Richard J. Daley Memorial Cat", but they called it "hizzonnah" for short

My roommate had a cat who's name changed several times. First he named it "Leo", but we thought that was boring, so I called it "Trotsky" and another roommate called it "the other cat", so he changed the name to "Fats". Ok, so not that silly or stupid, but for some reason, he decided to change the name one more time, deciding on "Shithead". When he got name tags printed out at the pet store, the cashier said "I'm just going to pretend this is pronounced 'shi-theed'."

A couple of friends of mine currently own a cat named "Swim-Swim Newton".

Previously these same friends had also named all the cats that hung out near their back porch. Somehow, two of the cats got named "Buster", so to distinguish them, they decided to change the names to "Buster With A Stripe" and "Buster Without A Stripe".

General pet-naming advice. Don't rush it. If you do, you may find the perfect name as soon as you have the name tags printed out.
posted by ErWenn at 9:49 PM on November 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


My last awesome cat? Her Royal Highness, Miss Lady Qu'Appelle, Queen of the Universe and Arbiter of All That is Good in the World, May She be Worshipped and Adored at All Times by All Beings Linde.

She was a Tonkinese, see, and thus thought of herself as royalty.

We just called her Qu'Appelle, Cat, or Walnut Brain.
posted by spinifex23 at 9:54 PM on November 10, 2008


Rereading your question, I think you really should just name it "Untitled".
posted by ErWenn at 9:55 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I grew up with a cat named Ralph. A girl cat. So for years, I thought Ralph was a girl's name. Even now, it sounds kind of androgynous.
posted by changeling at 9:57 PM on November 10, 2008


My cats are Kali and Perseus. My college roommate had two half-Siamese cats names Indigo and Misha, and she later got a kitten named Pisces.

My parents' cat (now departed this realm) was called, inexplicably, Poopie.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 10:01 PM on November 10, 2008


Our cats, Dante and Absinthe, frequently get called "Chaco-Taco" and "Potato Head"
After Absinthe jumped into the fireplace and rolled around in the soot (the second time) she is frequently referred to as "Dirty Bitch"
posted by silkygreenbelly at 10:03 PM on November 10, 2008


Squishy Kitty aka Squishy, Squish (real name Casper)

Or Pickles.

Also had a friend whose mom named their cat "Lambchop" - this seemed absolutely ridiculous to him, so he insisted on just calling her "cat."
posted by Kimothy at 10:03 PM on November 10, 2008


My cat came to me named Lily. So I named her Lily Monkey. I have never called her either of those names, however. The two names I have settled on yelling at her several times a day are:

Killy
Farty Schaivo (yes, it's terrible. When company's over, it's just Farty for short.)
posted by cheeken at 10:04 PM on November 10, 2008


Just for clarification, I'm not seeking to plagiarise other people's ideas. I just want to experience the world of Odd Pet Names before I think of one myself.

As for me, my mum knew a cat named Fred & Ethel Mertz. A cat. Also, the house across the street years ago had brother/sister cats named Muggles & Cowboy. And I have a friend whose kitteh is named Binky.
posted by spamguy at 10:05 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


This book inspired my 5-year-old self to name my new orange kitten Pickle, the variants of which include Picky, Picky-o, Pickle Bean and Pickletosh. Last year, we were adopted by a little stray that agreed to respond to Puss-Puss, which stuck because there was initially no intention of keeping her. She won us over in the end, and we were given the honour of also calling her The Little French Duke, and Little Bean.

Tonight I met a Scratch Fury: Destroyer of Worlds (which I am told is from PvP), who was adopted by friends less than a day ago. She has already been given the alias of Happy Farts.
posted by hip_plumber at 10:09 PM on November 10, 2008


Apparently the following conversation happened between my friend and her friend, Steve:

Friend: What'd you name your cat?
Steve: Steve.

Perhaps it's just me, but I find that hilarious.

My second favorite name for a cat: Mr. Girl Dog
posted by funkiwan at 10:09 PM on November 10, 2008 [5 favorites]


Oh, and your cat is adorable and somewhat similar in looks to the aforementioned Casper...
posted by Kimothy at 10:10 PM on November 10, 2008


The last eight animals that I have had have all been named Bob. I figure it saves time making up new names.

However, I have cats names Taterhead and Poop Dragon, and a dog named Ultimate California Fish Taco, or UlCalfico for short.
posted by bradth27 at 10:11 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Poster Nutbag
posted by gnutron at 10:17 PM on November 10, 2008


The BF named all his cats with slightly musty lady names regardless of gender.

"Edith! Get off the counter!"

"Martha! Stop clawing Vanessa!"

"Jane is craping on everything."

It was like working at a poorly run retirement home.
posted by The Whelk at 10:21 PM on November 10, 2008 [7 favorites]


And my own cat was named "Samantha" on offical records, but was just called "Sammy" or "Cat!" 99% of the time.
posted by The Whelk at 10:22 PM on November 10, 2008


When I was in high school, my family was playing a game of homemade scattergories, and one of the categories I came up with was "Stupid Names for Pets". My father's entry for R was "Root Beer." At this point, our elderly cat (Sir Thomas Tuddenham, aka Tudd - named after a crony of a distant ancestor who basically got betrayed by said ancestor all the way to the executioner) came slowly strolling by, and got saddled with the nickname. This got shortened quickly to just "root"- which was appropriate, because that cat had the worst breath ever measured by anyone, anywhere.
posted by julen at 10:30 PM on November 10, 2008


Greg Oden (plays for the Portland Trailblazers) got a dog and named it Charles Barkley McLovin
posted by citron at 10:33 PM on November 10, 2008


Simpson's fan? If so, go with Mittens.
posted by bowmaniac at 10:39 PM on November 10, 2008


Emergency Meat. Mrs. Boots (regardless of gender).
posted by emyd at 10:55 PM on November 10, 2008 [10 favorites]


Starship Zion- the stray cat on our sleep.
posted by thebrokenmuse at 1:22 AM on November 11, 2008


My first (now gone, very missed) cat was called Scarlet O'Hara. It totally suited her.

Now I have Holly Golightly, a black female, who I mostly call "preta", and Yoshi Nakamura, a grey tabby. He gets called Yoshi a lot, but also variations thereof, like "Yoshito".

A friend has an orange male called Pudim Mandarino (that's "Mandarin Pudding").

Once when I was at the vet's I heard the nurse call a cat named "Miao Tse Tung".
posted by neblina_matinal at 1:47 AM on November 11, 2008


Friends of mine got so exhausted arguing over all the different name suggestions from family members that they finally named their cat Etcetera.
posted by Oriole Adams at 2:10 AM on November 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


I have a cat called Igor Zoidberg, but he is generally known as Princessboy, Squiggle or Ratbag. He's suitably confused. My neighbours call him Boggle because he is always confused and scared of his own shadow.

Previous cats have been Jebus (a mash-up of references from Tori Amos and the Simpsons), Tuesday (Jebus's sister... we couldn't call her Sunday), Moggle, Miazzle, and Doormat.

I really like the idea of standard-people-names for animals. If nothing else, it means people don't always immediately realise you're a crazy cat lady when you're talking about "your friend Sarah" all the time.
posted by indienial at 2:31 AM on November 11, 2008


I knew a parrot named drumstick once, but I would never name my birds something so undignified. Their names are Dr. Buzzard and Dr. Benway.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 2:44 AM on November 11, 2008


A short list of cats I have known:

Mr. Saturday Pants
Runcible
Champipple
Professor Murder
Memphis Tennessee
Fred

Mr. Mustachio's cat was nearly named Mr. Nude - instead, she rejoices in the relatively normal name Norma, but is frequently referred to as The Nose, or Ham Nose, or Pumpkin Butt, or Butter Head. Mine ended up as Miss Pie, but she is also known as Bitchy Pie, The Loaf or The Sandwich.

One of my friends insists it doesn't matter what you call cats, an has never named his. However, he tends to refer to all cats as "Chickens." All other animals are various types of kitties (a dog is "Good Kitty," a snake might be "Long Kitty.") So there you go.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:01 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


My bf named our second cat Orwell but when we're feeling ridiculous we call him Dr. Honey Buttons.
posted by Menomena at 4:31 AM on November 11, 2008


We had to name our cat before we got her, because the lady at the cattery wanted to 'acclimatise her to the name'. Several wonderful suggestions were discussed en famille; my favourites were Kant (much hilarity at the thought of calling that cat in at night; alas, my mother was too timid to run with it), Boutros-Boutros Ghali, Syntax and Number Six. All were vetoed by my little sister, and the last option made her cry ("Why would you want to call a nice cat after a number?").

In the end she was called Moriarty, because my little sister hadn't read the Sherlock Holmes books and thought it had a pleasing sound, and as I moved away shortly afterwards I was unable to prevent this from being shortened to Mori (pronounced Morrie) almost immediately.

Now, for some reason, I have for some time had a hankering to name a cat Betamax.
posted by Acheman at 4:44 AM on November 11, 2008


How about "Untitled Cat"?
posted by mrbarrett.com at 4:47 AM on November 11, 2008


For some reason I've never been entirely clear on, when I was about five, I named my cat Smutty. My mom let the name stand, but I'm guessing she had a lot of explaining to do for the next 10 years or so.
posted by _Mona_ at 4:48 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sooner...as in "Sooner poop on the floor than use the litter box!"
posted by jara1953 at 4:56 AM on November 11, 2008


Chairman Miaow.
posted by primer_dimer at 4:57 AM on November 11, 2008


On non-preview: Heh, beaten to it!
posted by primer_dimer at 4:58 AM on November 11, 2008


PITA (pain in the ass, not the bread)
Paxil (because he needed some)
posted by agentwills at 5:09 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


My sister had a pair of cats in the 1970s named Elliot and Margret Trudeau. She also had Kitty Shabatski (SP?)
posted by Raybun at 5:11 AM on November 11, 2008


Also Swithin, after uncle Swithin in the Forsight Saga
posted by Raybun at 5:12 AM on November 11, 2008


We named our cat Puddinghead for about an hour before we chickened out and named her Lucy.

My mother-in-law had brother cats named Zeus and Apollo. They were huge, so they were nicknamed The Fat Boys.
posted by Lucinda at 6:32 AM on November 11, 2008


My fish is named Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. I think titles are appropriate for some.

Also, my uncle had an ill-behaved dog that only responded to "Rex Goddamnit."
posted by craven_morhead at 6:36 AM on November 11, 2008


My brother's cat's name is Raistlin, which we pronounce "rass-lin." Therefore, I often call him "Wrestling."
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:41 AM on November 11, 2008


I knew one cat named "Phillipe Assewipe" (pronounced phileeeeep assweeeeeepay, preferrably in an accent). It just always sounded funny, especially when her father would say it too in the accent.

I personally like to name pets after everyday items or food. My cat is named "Rhubarb". Usually gets a pretty awesome reaction from people. Plus, it lends itself to some awesome nicknames.
posted by gwenlister at 6:43 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Kats I have known:

Tennis Racquet
Footloose
Jinx
Spewie
posted by Gungho at 6:45 AM on November 11, 2008


My cats are named
Porkchop Porkchop Malloy
Flavius Claudius Julianus
posted by fidelity at 7:01 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


My close friends have a female cat called "Keith Richards". ... They thought it was a male cat for a long time.
posted by boomcha76 at 7:02 AM on November 11, 2008


My fiance works at a residential drug abuse treatment facility. The house cat there is named Relapse (he always comes back). We used to have a cat who came to us with the name Little Brother. Liked to call him Bro-heem.
posted by otolith at 7:52 AM on November 11, 2008


Incidentally, the two help cats who appear in the Wii's Photo and News Channels are named Rassie and Runda:
She enters the Photo Channel from the top bar, but whether she enters from the left or right is a bit hush-hush. Giving her a name was a no-brainer, because in the Japanese version, she always ends her sentences with "~rashiyo" which means "they say" or "I heard." So it came natural to call her Rassie.

Her older brother Runda also shares that same naming phenomenon. Since he ends his statements with "~runda" to emphasize context, he gets to be named something rhyming with an energetic dance style. Runda makes his appearance at the News Channel, although it seems that the feline siblings are interchangeable from both channels for a random effect.

When I heard this, I started calling them "Ya Heard" and "Sup Bitches." From there I started calling most cats whose names I don't know Sup Bitches.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:07 AM on November 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


I have also known a Toonces (outdoor neighborhod cat, and I could never remember the name, so I was always going "well hello, um, Tufty? Tooner? Terrycloth?"), as well as a Webster. Our cat was named Zuleika but mostly called Pudding.
posted by marginaliana at 8:32 AM on November 11, 2008


My cats are named Thing One and Thing Two, based on their Suessian rampages around the house when they were younger.

My wife's cat is officially named Quetzalcoatl, but in practice is usually just referred to as Quexal, Quetzal, Quetal, or just Q.
posted by tdismukes at 8:39 AM on November 11, 2008


Some of my more noteworthy kitties names:

Half Watt (not too bright)

Chatter (multilingual)

Zeek the Streak (zip-zoom kitty)

UFO (first stood for unidentified feline object [seen under some equipment] then for underfoot feline object) BTW - Not an easy name to get across at the vet's office.
posted by mightshould at 8:41 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Our cat is named Lucius Vorenus, Legio XI Claudia.
posted by yeti at 8:43 AM on November 11, 2008


When my parents were botany postgrads, they had a cat named Calendula.
My father also had a three-legged rescue cat called Tripod.
posted by pocketfluff at 8:52 AM on November 11, 2008


Sharps
posted by acorncup at 9:05 AM on November 11, 2008


Our dog was named KC, after mine and my brothers' first initials. My grade school best friend's dog was Mr. Baggins, and was named after Bilbo. (The parents were seriously into LORD OF THE RINGS -- they even named one of their CHILDREN Theoden, after the king of Rohan.)

A neighbor when I was a kid had a cat named Morton, and then after they moved the people who moved into that apartment had a cat named Inspector Fuzz. I've always rather liked that.

My own cat is Zach, and I just pulled that out of a baby book. (I'd actually tried out a couple of Russian or Hawaiian names first, but Zach fit best.)

One of my friends had a dachschund named Teckel when he was a kid.

My ex has co-custody of a cat named Rupert.

Another ex named his kitten Panic, largely because that's what she always seemed to be doing.

My cousin once found a barely-just-born kitten in the trash dump behind the restaurant where he worked, and he became Dempsey Diesel Dumpster.

A guy who was once at the vet at the same time as me proudly told me his dog's name was Twombly.

I once read that Steve Martin once owned a cat and named it Dr. Carlton B. Forbes.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:12 AM on November 11, 2008


Professor Catface Meowmers.

(From "Wizard People, Dear Reader"). I have tried to bestow this name upon both of my cats, but their enthusiasm was... lacking.
posted by kittyb at 9:17 AM on November 11, 2008


I like Jokey Smurf, or any of its derivatives:

The Ree-ro Jokey Smurf

Jokey Wan Kenobi

Bon Jokey

Count Von Jokeula

Jokey O(nassis)
posted by mrmojoflying at 9:19 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


My mom misspelled our first puppy's name when she sent away for a dog tag. Bobby was now BOOBY.

Imagine being 12 years old and wandering your neighborhood screaming out, "BOOBY!" BOOOOOOBY!" Mortifying, simply mortifying.
posted by HeyAllie at 9:20 AM on November 11, 2008


Catastrophy (beautiful, perfect-looking angel cat Siamese/Himalayan mix who knew how to open the fridge door)

Growltiger (from the TS Elliot poem- our Growltiger is a formerly feral cat who occasionally takes it into his head to attempt to eviscerate us and has a rather dapper notch in his ear from being captured in one of the spay/neuter campaigns)
posted by RachelSmith at 9:30 AM on November 11, 2008


Uh, let me edit that. "Imagine being 12 years old and wandering around your neighborhood looking for your lost dog and screaming out "BOOBY! BOOOOOOOOBY!"

I didn't just willy nilly yell out the nickname for my breasts at the age of 12 while walking up and down the street. I would have been in a mental hospital by now if I did.
posted by HeyAllie at 9:38 AM on November 11, 2008


He looks like a Senior Awesome to me.

I'm a firm believer that cats need first and last names, like people. I've had a Kiki Beebus McAdoo, a Looloo Toilet (it's a long story), and now Simon Meow.
posted by fiercekitten at 9:44 AM on November 11, 2008


Once named a cat Ecker W. Furtickle Longtail.

We adopted a cat named Gus, but he told us his full name is Gus Fang Fuzz -- AKA Gustav Von Silkenfuzz or Wolfie.

My folks had a cat named Whiffen after "The Whiffenpoof Song."

My brother has three dogs named Rutcrash Browntop, Keera Augrah, and Royal Danno.
posted by Ultra Laser at 9:44 AM on November 11, 2008


Oops, make that Señor Awesome.
posted by fiercekitten at 9:44 AM on November 11, 2008


my grandfather had cats named ho chi (as in minh) and ali (as in muhammad). One of our cats is named little cat.. it reflects her size and was a placeholder that ended up sticking. She has about 10 names in reality though (little cat, little girl, little one, princess, etc.)
posted by zennoshinjou at 9:45 AM on November 11, 2008


oh yeah, our other cat is named Lucas but his full name is Lucas Reginald Thickneck the Third, Esq.
posted by zennoshinjou at 9:46 AM on November 11, 2008


My mom had a cat growing up called Mushy Wushy Ushy Gushy Opie Opus. Opie Opus for short, thank you.
posted by bellbellbell at 9:57 AM on November 11, 2008


My mother used to have a cat named Senator Estes Kefauver. My sister had a cat named Dammit Janet (after the Rocky Horror Picture Show, of course). I've also known cats named Fluffernutter, Mulder, and Apple.
posted by OolooKitty at 10:20 AM on November 11, 2008


A friend of mine named Cat has a bird named "Phish". Another friend adopted a three-legged cat which he promptly named "Tripod". That same friend had iguanas named Ivan Boesky and Robert DeNiro (and called me one day to exclaim "Ivan Boesky *ate* Robert DeNiro!". My brother kept a stray dog that wandered on to our place, and named it "Yag" for "You're a girl" after observing it going to the bathroom. Other brother had four pigs which his kids named Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster, and "Millionaire". That's all I got.
posted by madmethods at 10:49 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


My father tells the story of taking our cat, Booger, to the vet and hearing Pookie Sandwich Baby be called back to the exam room. It has become, in our family, the ultimate pet name though some of the names in this list are giving it a solid run for the money...
posted by Bibliogeek at 11:11 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


A friend's cat was named Chapstick who then begot Chopstick.
posted by tenderman kingsaver at 11:14 AM on November 11, 2008


I am a big fan of food names (owned a Goden Retreiver dog named Honey and buff-colored tabby cat named Tempura). Hmm...but what food is the color of your cat? Salt-in-the-shaker-when-rigged-with-pepper?
posted by radioamy at 11:17 AM on November 11, 2008


Current pets are named:

Lucifer J Cornstarch - (aka Lou/Louie/Lucy) - Boy Cat
Duppy (aka Dupps/Duppereeno/Licky Magoo) - Girl Dog
Popple (aka Maxwell/Max/Maxapopples/Pops/Doctor Poppleton) - Boy Dog

Why do we do this?
posted by ekstasis23 at 11:19 AM on November 11, 2008


We had a cat originally named Squeaky, but due to the vet's receptionist's inability to spell, she is now known as Squeky (pronounced squecky).
posted by kidsleepy at 11:24 AM on November 11, 2008


Oh, this isn't technically a "real animal," but it's reminded me of something -- I once worked on a play someone wrote that was very loosely based on Hawthorne's Young Goodman Brown. Too long a story as to why, but there was a character therein who was mentally challenged, and had a couple of language tics -- most of what this character said consisted of quotes from the "New England Primer" repeated over and over, but the one original thought this character said -- also repeated now and then -- was the statement, "I have a cat named Phineas!"

I toyed with changing my cat's name to Phineas, briefly.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:32 AM on November 11, 2008


Mr. Finch and Mrs. Wilberforce were two cats referenced on The West Wing.

And he's technically a dog, but dooce has the wonderfully named "The Former Congressman Henry Buck Chucklesworth" (colloquially known as 'Chuck').
posted by the luke parker fiasco at 11:50 AM on November 11, 2008


My cat is named Oscar, because he liked (still likes, unfortunately) to play in the trash can. He was also named to sound like an old fishing buddy of my dog-at-the-time, Gus. I had already picked out the name Gus before we got the dog, and had to find a dog to match it. Oscar's nickname, is Goddamit, Oscar or Ouch, Oscar.
posted by twiggy32 at 1:11 PM on November 11, 2008


Friends had a tiny kitten they named Tinkerbell. After the kitten got bigger they revised it to Tinkerballs and usually just called him Tinker.
I've never met but keep hearing about a dog called "me too". I think I may have to consider it for the next animal I get. Only if it fits, of course.
My favorite cat of all time was named Tybalt (tib'-ålt) http://forvo.com/word/tybalt/ Really the best cat I ever had. I could tap my chest and he'd jump up into my arms.
posted by BoscosMom at 1:18 PM on November 11, 2008


Also, that cat in the picture? It is a cat who requires a title. I suggest Attorney-at-Law, as in Ganymede "Tuppy" Cheesewright, Attorney at Law. 3rd Earl Scrantonton is also good.
posted by fidelity at 2:23 PM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


I know a Cardinal Fang.
posted by clever sheep at 3:09 PM on November 11, 2008


My SO was tiny when his family got their first cat. He was at that particular stage in childhood development when he was fascinated with, um, his man parts. Accordingly, and wanting perhaps to commemorate that time in his life forever, he wanted to name the cat "Penis."

It was shortened to "Peanut".
posted by hollisimo at 3:56 PM on November 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


My own cat (who is sitting right between me and the monitor RIGHT NOW because she KNOWS I'm typing about her) has the full name of Wensleydale Archipelago Quadrilateral.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:43 PM on November 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


Pica has also been known as Pika-pika (like Picachu!)

Fun fact: "pika" means "vagina" in Icelandic. True story. I swear I am not making this up.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:51 PM on November 11, 2008


I can't seem to read a whole thread before commenting or make just ONE comment today. Sheesh.

While we're getting into pet nicknames: Wensleydale is just Wensleydale. Or The Dale. Sometimes, she goes by her spy name, Densleywhale Laudriquateral.

The other cat... is ostensibly named Tangerine. She's 'moonMan's cat and he had a policy against naming her that I got sick of because a) she NEEDED a name and b) people always ask "What's the kitty's name?" She's also called Kitty, Kitty Number 1, Tangerine the Jellybean, Beenie-Weenie, and lately just Bean.

I had a dog named Josh who had the nicknames Roganjosherdogafat (A mixture of Roganjosh and Josher Dogafat for Yasser Arafat), Joshy-sattva, and Reginald Q. Abernathy. Where that last one came from, I have no idea.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:04 PM on November 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


Are you a nerd?
tom servo
general alcazar
prime directive
davros
hubble
captain darling, baldrick, melchett
Nautilus (naughty for short)

I also like
Bede
and plan to use it for a pet someday
posted by rhinny at 6:14 PM on November 11, 2008


oh I forgot about my friends cat named RumTum as in Rum Tum Tugger from the Cats musical. As a matter of fact there are several cool names from that show....Munkustrap, Jennyanydots, Grizabella, Bustafer Jones, Macavity: The Mystery Cat, MungoJerry and Rumpleteaser, The Great Rumpuscat, Mr. Mistoffelees , Old Deuteronomy, and Demeter....all good names
posted by meeshell at 7:24 PM on November 11, 2008


we had a cat named K.C. stood for kitty cat. ooooo original I know. When I was five my mom let me name one of our collie pups. I picked Ginny Raquet, I know not why
posted by Redhush at 7:31 PM on November 11, 2008


I work at a vet hospital, and the best names I have ever seen are a cat named "Maudster.com" and a dog named "Steely Barbadoodle". I'll take a peek through the file room tomorrow to refresh my memory some more.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:13 PM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


"Emergency Meat"--holy crap! I've laughed at things on the internets before, to be sure. But never have I laughed in the computer room, laughed stumbling down the hall, laughed into the kitchen--where I saw the cat sleeping next to the fridge and then burst out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter until my veins hurt--laughed back down the hall, and laughed back into the computer room where, vision blurred with laughter-tears, I stepped right in the hairball.

Fuckin' cats.

Oh. And then spotted the turd politely adjacent to the litter box.

All laughter ceased. And I spontaniously began to channel the red-faced rage of Walter from the Big Lebowski welling up within: "Fuck-in' CATS, Donnie..."
posted by TigerMoth at 3:43 AM on November 12, 2008


i once knew a Padunkin Fishishy Moquihedal.

also:
Julius
Sarah
Sunflower aka Sunny aka Fat Cat
Gobi
Su Ling
Callisto
and a rescued cat who was named Winnie at the shelter, but is now Winifred Libintia Nin AKA Informant X-19 (Libinitia is a Roman goddess of funerals and we live on the road to the cemetery. We usually call her Tia.)
posted by RedEmma at 9:28 AM on November 12, 2008


My cats are: Bart (after Bart Simpson), Lilo and Stitch.

I mainly call them "sweetie-pie", "bebe doll" or "shithead".
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 4:22 PM on November 12, 2008


Mrs. Methods insists that I follow up on this answer with the names of our own pets, which I apparently inexcusably neglected (thinking that they insufficiently bizarre). So I'll point out that Cryptonomicon is also a fine source for pet names, and if Mr. Stephenson is out there, he might be tickled to hear that our male Akita is named "Shaftoe" and our female Newfoundland is named "Glory".
posted by madmethods at 8:06 PM on November 12, 2008


You can use Simon's nickname if you want to; Admiral Adorablepants.
posted by magnetsphere at 8:34 AM on November 13, 2008


I have a Davey. His song is 'Davey, Davey Crockett, King of the wild cat-teeer!' also, Davey Jones. The davester. D-man. D-money.

I have a Bosco. His song is 'Bosco, Bosco bear. He's got to be, a Bosco bear." Boz.

But my favorite cat name is Cosmo. The coz. Cosmo Bob. Cosmosis. Coz-mo-politain. He is not my cat - thus he does not have a song.
posted by jopreacher at 8:34 PM on November 14, 2008


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