Baby coming soon! Party?

September 11, 2012 11:26 AM

Are we crazy to throw a party a few weeks before our baby is due?

My wife will be having a birthday a few weeks before our baby is due. She really wanted to have a party for this birthday and unfortunately due to certain circumstances the only date we have available is 26 days before her due date. She would be doing virtually none of the work for the party, but it would be at our house. This will be our first child.

Is this a crazy idea?

posted by derivation to Health & Fitness (25 answers total)

My wife went into labor about 26 days before her due date. That's the only thing that would worry me. Assuming that doesn't happen or there's a way to have a plan B, like some hosts that you would trust to have a party at your house in your absence, or the guests are understanding that the party may be called due to a sudden trip to the hospital, it won't hurt your wife or the baby to be at a party.
posted by randomkeystrike at 11:29 AM on September 11, 2012

Best answer: No, do it! This will be your last chance for a while to have this sort of party.

Just have a stop time that isn't too late, have a bedroom free in case your wife needs to rest, have one chair designated as the Pregnant Wife Chair (seriously, put a sign on it) and if it's not a shower make sure people understand it's not a shower and they are not to bring "baby" gifts. Some of them will anyway. Thank them politely.

Have fun!
posted by bondcliff at 11:31 AM on September 11, 2012 [27 favorites]

Best answer: I don't think it is crazy so long as
1) she does none of the work for the party as you planned. If she is like a lot of the women I know she may try to do the work anyway. Don't let her.
2) if the planning starts to stress her out, the party is cancelled
3) everyone (you, your wife, your guests) is fully aware of the possibility that it could be cancelled last minute due to pregnancy/labour type reasons
4) you have a clean up strategy already in place well before the party so that the mess wouldn't stress her out and so that she doesn't end up doing all the cleaning
5) she has an exit strategy in case she gets really tired/worn out mid party.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 11:31 AM on September 11, 2012 [5 favorites]

As long as your party won't be at a firing range or in an airplane, it should be fine. But just in case, make sure your car isn't blocked in and that someone else will be available to finish up the party and send everyone else home.
posted by Etrigan at 11:31 AM on September 11, 2012 [8 favorites]

No, not crazy at all! Have the party and enjoy the last few weeks you have to do things like that without a wee one. (I speak as someone who has a 16 day-old baby who came two weeks early.)
posted by Specklet at 11:32 AM on September 11, 2012

Totally have a party. Enjoy the hell out of it!

Have it be as low key as possible. Be sure to let people know that it's for your wife, not the baby and that NO BABY stuff is allowed. I'm sure she's having identity issues enough, without people confusing her birthday with that of the baby.

Go for an afternoon barbecue so that it can end early enough for lots of sleep.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:33 AM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

Nope. Throw the party. And don't start freaking out early, or really ever. Having a baby shouldn't cause you to give up being you.
posted by Capri at 11:35 AM on September 11, 2012 [3 favorites]

This is a great idea! Wish I'd done it.
posted by BlahLaLa at 11:35 AM on September 11, 2012

My mom went to work the morning of the day she had me. She was fine. Have a party.

I do like the idea of keeping your car parked somewhere it can't be blocked, just in case. Go ahead and put your hospital suitcase kit in there if it makes you feel better.

Also designate someone you're inviting as your backup and give them house keys so that if you have to leave, she or he can help everyone else get out and clean up/feed pets/lock up/take you some clothes/call grandparents/whatever.
posted by emjaybee at 11:40 AM on September 11, 2012

Almost a month before her due date? Should be fine.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:40 AM on September 11, 2012

My grandmother did this and went into labor with one of my aunts during it. She made sure to finish her food ("Well, I was hungry and that hospital food is terrible!"), then calmly told my grandfather she needed to go to the hospital.

I'd do it but make sure your car is unblocked and you have a "So I went into labor early" plan in place.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:41 AM on September 11, 2012

Absolutely do it. I'd only be cautious if there's a history of preterm deliveries on your wife's side of the family, and I mean a month pre-term.
posted by Dragonness at 11:47 AM on September 11, 2012

Do it.

She not just a baby maker. She gets to celebrate her birthday if she wants.
posted by 26.2 at 11:49 AM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah, have the party.

Be prepared to stop at any time. Not because of labor, but because exhaustion is pretty common at that point.
posted by French Fry at 11:54 AM on September 11, 2012

Have the party! But perhaps invite people with a time frame: 6-10 or 7-11 or whatever. I recently had a birthday party while pregnant, and the only downside was the friends who stayed drinking until like 2 or 3 in the morning. Which I would have been totally down with pre-pregnancy. But I was sober and tired and wanted them to go home.
posted by kestrel251 at 11:58 AM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

You'd be crazy not to.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:09 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

You're wife's the one who knows best how much her body can take right now, and if she's saying "let's do this!" then, do it.

I mean, hell, if Catherine Zeta Jones can attend the freakin' Oscar awards and even pick up a statuette on her actual due date, then hosting a birthday party 3 weeks before your wife's due date is positively normal by comparison.

Nthing what everyone says about being ready to wrap things up early if she gets tired and wants to call it a day (or, of course, if her water breaks or something, which is still unlikely). But if she says she's good to do this, then do it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:20 PM on September 11, 2012

We had a party 4 weeks before Toddler Zizzle was born.

There is no reason not to have such a party unless your wife is on bedrest or it's not indicated for other reasons.

Schedule it at a time of day when she's usually feeling good (vs doing it at night when she's tired) and enjoy your friends and family!
posted by zizzle at 12:42 PM on September 11, 2012

Both times I had a baby I had a party shortly before the baby was born (two weeks before the first one, and four weeks before the second. Party #2 was to celebrate the birthday of Baby #1). In both cases I did all the work except moving furniture. I focused a little bit on parties that would be easier to throw, but it was not a very big deal and everybody knew I was 8 months pregnant so if I'd had to cancel nobody would have held it against me!

I really wanted to see everyone and celebrate with everyone before I plunged into having a newborn. It was great both times!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 1:02 PM on September 11, 2012

Party! Party! Party! It'll be her last chance to have uninterrupted adult conversation and merriment for awhile. I mean, you can have those things later but they take more planning and still, more often than not, adult conversation happens in 18-second bursts once your kid starts getting in to things.

I went bowling 14 days before I was due. I was in a league! I couldn't let them down!

Anyway, she can always rest in a back room or cancel if something comes up.
posted by amanda at 1:38 PM on September 11, 2012

My wife worked - as a nurse doing night shifts - up until her due date for all five of our kids. As long as your doctor isn't concerned, and your wife feels up to it, go for it!
posted by tacodave at 3:17 PM on September 11, 2012

Yeah party!!!

It will be the last blowout for a while, so you might as well enjoy it while you can.

Every woman is different. I rode my horse ten miles two weeks before the delivery of my first.

If your wife doing OK now and is looking forward to it, why disappoint?
posted by BlueHorse at 3:37 PM on September 11, 2012

Continue your life as normally and as comfortably as you can, until the moment comes.

First kid, sat around house for three days waiting for contractions to get bigger.

Second kid, ignored contractions. Went out to eat, took first kid to park, then went to the hospital.
posted by couchdive at 4:52 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

We hosted thanksgiving a week before I had our daughter. It was great. I did a lot of directing traffic and very little of anything else and just really enjoyed playing host. I'm glad we did it and I'd do it again.
posted by devinemissk at 4:55 PM on September 11, 2012

Response by poster: I just wanted to follow up on this in case anyone ever runs across it.

The party went great!
posted by derivation at 9:46 AM on October 25, 2012 [1 favorite]