Scardy cat
September 2, 2011 7:59 AM   Subscribe

How does one humanize a feral kitten that's bonding exclusively to our other cats?

About two weeks ago a feral kitten adopted one of our cats, Babou (a ex-feral cat) through our patio door. Very, very cute -- the kitten , hereinafter The Savage Beast, and Babou would rub up against each other, touch paws , etc. through the screen. A week ago, with an excess of concern and not so much forethought, we let the Beast into the house.

Almost immediately, he (she?) seemed very comfortable. She (he?) follows Babou around endlessly and tries to snuggle in. Babou is doing a fairly good job with it, though you can tell he is (a) a little fed up with the endless attention, and (b) would like the Beast to be a bit more of a toy -- Babou is about a year and a half old and wants to wrestle everything. The Beast is quite comfortable wandering around the house, uses the litter box without a problem, and doesn't seem to care one bit about not being outside.

The only issue is that he will not allow contact by of the humans in the house. She watches us intently and doesn’t seem frightened, but will not allow us to touch. She will play with us –chasing strings and balls and even fingers. She has even jumped across us in pursuit of some toy. She even purrs when we are around her. But if you move a hand towards her, she moves out of range. Her contact needs are all met by the other cat.

How can we fix this? We are cat people, but not so much that we want a cat for our cats. Also we need to get her to the vet. I suppose we could move her to a separate room and force contact, but that seems overly traumatizing. Any thoughts?
posted by rtimmel to Pets & Animals (20 answers total)
 
Is there a reason you need to quickly socialize her? I'd suggest taking it slow -- let her acclimate to you. Try putting treats down and keeping your hand near it, and try patting your cat while the savage beast can watch. I'd expect at least a few weeks of nervousness before trying anything to force socialization.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:07 AM on September 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


I would corner her, grab her with some gloves on, put her in a cat carrier and take her to the vet. Any trip to the vet is traumatizing for cats that aren't use to car rides.

She's not going to be a happy kitten, but she'll get over it.

I think you should get her to the vet asap. If she's carrying some disease, you don't want it to spread to Babou.

Also, pictures!
posted by royalsong at 8:08 AM on September 2, 2011 [10 favorites]


Bring her to the vet as soon as you can. After that, just give her longer to get used to you. One week isn't very long for a cat to get used to people, and she's not scared of you, so it's good odds that over the course of about a month she will go from playing near you and with you to cuddling with you.

It's probably good to let her see you cuddle the other cats.
posted by jeather at 8:22 AM on September 2, 2011


Agreed that being caught and taken to the vet is slightly traumatizing for ALL cats, but very necessary. Definitely corner her, grab her (with gloves if necessary) and take her to the vet as soon as possible.

Two weeks is not much time at all in terms of cat socialization. It's good that she's not afraid of you. Just keep playing with her, interacting with her, etc. My cat (previously a feral kitten) didn't allow me to pet him for almost 6 months when he was first caught and brought inside. Now he begs to be petted all the time and is almost annoyingly affectionate. Give it more time, and she'll probably come around.
posted by Knicke at 8:24 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


So, we recently adopted a pair of year-old cats from a local shelter who were NOT feral at all, and it took them a good two weeks to warm up to us to the point where offering a hand in friendship did not meet with a panicked dash in the opposite direction. Be a little more patient with a feral kitten who is probably totally unused to human contact.

Let me also recommend Feliway, or some similar de-stressing product, as a non-invasive assitance. We bought a plug-in diffuser, which was spendy, but you can also buy pump-spray bottles. It seemed to help take the edge off for the kitties after a few days.

(Also, seconding the immediate vet visit for the reasons mentioned -- the health and wellbeing of both cats.)
posted by briank at 8:24 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Second the vet and then just give her time. Play with her, give her treats, show her that you are not a threat and let her approach you and she will when she's ready.
posted by Ferrari328 at 8:26 AM on September 2, 2011


Two years ago we took in an adult stray who was obviously used to people and it still took well over a month to get to the stage where he would allow us to pick him up. Keep being nice to him, see if you can get him to do head scratching and see if he will go from there.
posted by biffa at 8:28 AM on September 2, 2011


As much as I hate to think about her getting upset, I agree with royalsong that she needs to be checked out at the vets. You don't want your Babou getting worms, fleas, ringworm, kitten 'snots', FVP, or other ickies, and neutering will need done anyway. If you can get her into a cat carrier without having to pick her up and stuff her in, all the better. Perhaps feed her in it or try tossing in a toy and shutting the door behind her?

I'm with the take it slow group. The Beast will come around eventually. If it's this friendly already--and believe me, a feral that invites itself in and doesn't hide under the bed for three weeks, let alone plays with you, is pretty mellow! Sit on the floor with Babou in your lap, put treats on the floor next to you, keep playing with the various items. As you sit on the floor, make a tent with your knees, and have her chase the toy under you. Keep flicking the string across your lap so she jumps or runs over you, and eventually she'll sit on you for increasing lengths of time.

Food and treats! That's the way to a Beastie's heart.

Be glad you have Babou to help you out with this.

Now, where are my pictures???
posted by BlueHorse at 8:37 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I agree with taking her to the vet now, and with trying to get her into the carrier without manhandling her. Set the carrier in a safe place she likes, with a soft towel inside, and just leave it there with the door open. Make it look like a safe inviting cave.

Sit nearby, seemingly occupied in something else, and watch it out of the corner of your eye. I bet you'll get her within an hour; she'll just go in to sniff it out and you can go over and calmly shut the door. (Try to avoid loud noises, other scary things, while she's near or in the carrier. Maintain the carrier as a place of safety from the cruel outside world.) But if that doesn't work, treats, toys, whatever.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:44 AM on September 2, 2011


Response by poster: There was a bit of a rush, but I think we missed the objective-distance,-lets-find-someone-who-wants-this-kitten window, and we now own another cat.

Here are a couple of pictures of each: Babou 1; Babou 2; Kitten 1; Kitten 2. I apologise for the crappy kitten pictures - my cell phone camera is crap, and he/she quickly learned that she/he wanted nothing to do with the flash.
posted by rtimmel at 8:48 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I agree that you just need time. Nthing everyone who says get it to the vet.

A friend had a very similar situation, the feral even looked like yours! It took a few months for the new kitty to get used to my friend and he never really warmed up to her husband. After the kitty warmed up he turned into velcro, always stuck to my friend. I would tease that he was part parrot because he liked to perch on her shoulder.

My friend's husband was the only other person who could pick up the cat (with much kitty complaining), nobody else could even touch Devil Cat (not his real name, just what I called him) without drawing back a bloody appendage. The first cat was still a sweetheart and was the one visitors could show affection to.
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:59 AM on September 2, 2011


Oh my GOD, look at that beast. Love it.

Yeah, I am currently living with a cat that has been in this house for a few years and NO ONE HAS EVER SUCCESSFULLY TOUCHED HER. Mmm hmm. Yes, I said YEARS. (And she is sort of one of the cat's cats, like your biggest fear.) That being said, she's become more socialized. And you can do better than that. Game interaction is a smart thing you're doing. And treats for tricks is smart. Once you become obviously a Giver of Good Things, the attention will focus a bit more on you.

And yeah: get that critter to the vet and dewormed. Even if you have to use a trap inside your own house.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 9:36 AM on September 2, 2011


Awww.... they're so adorable.

You NEED to get kitten to a vet. End of story. You don't know if she's (heaven forbid) FIV+ or harbouring any other diseases, or if it's female, maybe even pregnant. Either way, there will need to be a spay/neuter in this kitten's future regardless.

I have a cat that's been with me since the second she was born, is 2.5 now, and still will not let me pick her up or even approach her 99% of the time. She loves me, and wants pets, but on her terms and her terms only. Getting her to the vet involves outsmarting/chasing her into a room with a door, closing it, and then cornering her and being fast enough to thwart her sneaky ways. You will probably need to resort so similar levels of cat manipulation, but you must do it if this kitten is going to live in your house with your other cat. (s)he'll get over it, trust me.

Good luck!
posted by cgg at 10:58 AM on September 2, 2011


I've had a good bit of experience with alley cats, and my experience is that socialization can take months and with some cats may never happen. Some feral cats take "wariness" to its ultimate extreme. (I adopted one feral kitten that, even after she accepted my lodging, I only saw like 5 minutes a day for five years.)

Patience, calmness and love. You do need to get kitty to a vet if the two cats are going to spend time together, but if you push the issue too soon you might never get kitty to trust you.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 11:11 AM on September 2, 2011


My cat, now 9 years old, is still skittish when I deliberately try to interact with her. But when settling down at night, she is in bed right there with the pile of critters. If Babou is affectionate and lays with you on the couch or in bed, the Beast may want to be involved in that eventually. Being quiet and non-threatening is key, you need to out-aloof her!
posted by Jazz Hands at 11:29 AM on September 2, 2011


The feral cat groups I read recommend keeping a cat-in-taming in a cage or large crate until they are comfortable with people. If you're interested in learning more on how many feral cats have been socialized this way, probably good search terms are "feral cat" and "taming cage." You can get a lot of info at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/feral_cats; the group files are extensive.

All else aside, get kitty to a vet now. If kitty has FIV or feline leukemia, you want to know before she's doing a lot of playing with your established housecats.
posted by galadriel at 11:52 AM on September 2, 2011


Yeah, kitty has to go to the vet. But besides that, the best way to get her to warm up might be to play with the other cat and try to get the new cat curious and engaged. If the stray has warmed up to the existing cat, let the existing cat sort of show her how to play with you. Slip her treats when she acts nice.

Or, what Jazz Hands said.
posted by gjc at 4:35 PM on September 2, 2011


Oh geez, 2 weeks is *nothing* as far as feral-kitten-socialization goes. My ex-feral kitties (I ended up adopting a litter of 3 siblings two years ago, and I still have them, and they are the awesomest cats EVER) took at *least* that long to start gaining confidence in their surroundings. The fact that your new guy (or girl) plays with you is really, really encouraging -- you want them to see you as a source of fun, and it sounds like he's at least on his way there.

Also, definitely nthing what others have said re. taking newbie to the vet. My guys all went within 5 days of my adopting them and it was a good thing they did as two of them turned out to have parasites (coccidia) that needed to be treated. And it's almost a given that a feral kitten will have fleas if born outside and if he's under 4-5 pounds you probably need to get prescription flea stuff from the vet in a safe concentration for kittens.

Oh and it is very very unlikely taking kitten to the vet will have any negative impact on socialization -- in fact it might even have a positive effect, at least inasmuch as it will start getting them used to vet trips starting young. Even my most skittish guy, Brodie, is no trouble once he is actually in the vet's office, probably because it's familiar enough to him now.

Finally, my experiences suggest that the vast majority of feral kittens will come around and start seeking out human attention *eventually*, just so long as said humans offer plenty of play, treats, and opportunity for non-intimidating interactions. One thing that really helped with my guys was for me to go into a room and just sit there for a while (or even lie on the floor or bed), not looking at the cats, etc. That made them eventually curious enough to come up and start sniffing me, etc. That said, if you want them to get more comfortable with "humans in general", not just those who are in the house all the time, it would probably be good to have a bunch of guests over so the kitten can get a sense of what different humans sound/look/smell like. My guys are all very affectionate with *me* now (and my partner who also lives here) but they're not, even after two years, really up for approaching visitors, and I suspect this is because partner & I are introverts ourselves and tend to keep a quiet house. Not a big deal but something to be aware of.
posted by aecorwin at 9:17 PM on September 2, 2011


What everyone said above.

One of my cats, one of a pair of brothers and non-feral, took over two years to be comfortable enough to approach the mister and myself. Now he is the biggest lump of neediness that you could ever hope to meet. Just be patient and let the new kitty come to you when it's ready.
posted by deborah at 12:44 AM on September 5, 2011


Response by poster: Thanks everyone. i bit of a progress report. On Saturday, through a combination of finesse -- luring into a small powder room with a cat toy, and brute strength - a grabbing and stuffing into a car carrier,-- we got him in to the vets. He has a clean bill of health and now vaccinations and a de-worming (does as a precautionary).

Interestingly, while we were there, the little guy settled into my lap once the nurse was done and we were waiting for the vet to come in, and purred continually. I guess I was the most comfortable thing in the room. It didn't last once we were home, but he is slowly coming around and the trip to the vet was a positive event.
posted by rtimmel at 1:30 PM on September 6, 2011


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