Pacifier Weaning made a Cranky baby

November 15, 2010 1:36 PM

We weaned our 6 month old from his pacifier 5 days ago. He won't nap and has a very hard time getting to sleep in general. He used to be so easy, I'm dumbfounded. Ideas?

We did it! We weaned our 6 month old from his pacifier 5 days ago. He's sleeping up to 7 hours at a stretch at night!
So how long until i get my old baby back? Will he always be crankier? Are paci babies and non-paci babies just different creatures altogether?
He used to take 5 minutes to put down at night. Now it's 45 minutes. It's like having a (cuter, cooler, more fun) newborn again - meaning I have no idea how to deal with him. He'll fall asleep at the breast or sucking on my finger for a nap, but wakes within 10 minutes. He'll sleep in the car quite well. I gave him a little blankie, but he's not interested.
I'm tempted to let him suck my finger or boob to sleep, but obviously that's just the same thing!
Ideas?

posted by kristymcj to Human Relations (13 answers total)

I honestly don't know what you can do, but I wanted to say it's good that you're doing this now. I waited until my boys were 2.5, and I swore I broke them. But now, four months later, they're doing fine. I just wish I'd done it when they were six months old.

Give him a little time, he'll get used to sleeping without it.

(But I guess, now that I think about it, why did you take it away from him now? Maybe let him have it for a few more months, and try again.)
posted by pyjammy at 1:40 PM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: he was waking me 5-8 times a night to put it back in.
posted by kristymcj at 1:59 PM on November 15, 2010

introduce him to his thumb?
posted by Sassyfras at 2:04 PM on November 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

he was waking me 5-8 times a night to put it back in.
Have you tried training him to keep it in? In this book the author describes a reverse psychology method to teach babies to hold the pacifier themselves. Maybe it's effective (never tried it personally). The idea is that every time you give the kid the paci you tug on it a little bit so he has to pull it back in. Do this several times each time you give it to him and it strengthens his muscles so that he can better keep it in on his own. Theoretically it works even when he's sleeping.
posted by purpletangerine at 2:06 PM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dang! Sassyfras is smarter than me. At 6 months he should be able to hold his own fingers in his mouth and be able to self soothe that way.
posted by purpletangerine at 2:07 PM on November 15, 2010

Oh he'll get over it soon. Change can be hard for babies but it sounds like you're already over the worst of it. Keep the faith!
posted by otherwordlyglow at 2:10 PM on November 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

When you say that it takes 45 minutes to put him down, does that mean you are in the room trying to get him to go to sleep? Or are you going in and out every few minutes? If either of these are the case, then your presence might be the reason he's taking longer to go to sleep.

My advice is to have a consistent bedtime routine (in our house, it's brushing teeth followed by a story, then kisses) and then lights out. No visitations (except under extraordinary circumstances) by mom and dad until morning. This means that you have to let your baby cry it out. Hard for many parents, but we found it to be very effective. Our guys took to the routine very nicely and put up a minimal fuss.

BTW, you can also start thinking about cutting out the late-night feeding. We let the boys cry it out for a few days when they turned 6 months old and, after that, they were sleeping 12 hours a night.
posted by puritycontrol at 2:16 PM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Your child is old enough to cry a little as he puts himself to sleep-what I have done with my grandson is just rub his back a little before I walk out of the room-I let him cry for five minutes-if he gets hysterical I just pat his back a little longer.

You probably just need to stick this out for a week or two, is all.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:23 PM on November 15, 2010

When I was a baby, my parents poked holes in my pacifier with a needle so it lost its suction. After that, I just completely lost interest in the pacifier on my own.

Not much suction is lost with just one needle pin hole, but you could gradually increase the holes over course of a month so the baby doesn't notice.

I don't know if this will work for you, but it might be worth a shot.
posted by nikkorizz at 2:43 PM on November 15, 2010

The best thing you can do to encourage good sleeping is to be consistent, including putting your child down for naps and whatnot at the same time each day, even if they don't seem tired and don't actually fall asleep. Of course, if that happens three or four times in a row (they get tired too soon or too late for that scheduled time), adjust the time accordingly, then stick with it for a while. Follow your child's lead, and don't let a week's worth of difficulty bother you too much.

side note: I let my kids wean themselves, although if it fell out of their mouths while sleeping, I was happy. There were days I thought that they'd never give it up. But they did. Always remember: whatever it is, they'll outgrow it by the time they reach college.
posted by davejay at 3:10 PM on November 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

Introduce another item that he can use to soothe himself. My kid used to rub the soft satiny edge of a blanket between her fingers. She also still sucks her thumb occasionally. It was great back then - no looking for a dropped pacifier in the dark - but you're just postponing the inevitable weaning, and weaning off the thumb is a lot harder since you can't exactly take it away.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 6:28 PM on November 15, 2010

I have 3 little kids under 5.
-Tummy sleeping helps immensely in getting the baby into a fast, sound sleep -- they feel much more secure on their stomachs.
- Feed the baby, play with him/sing/read stories, then put him down as soon as they get glassy-eyed. Don't wait for eye-rubbing or yawning.
- Can you introduce something else as a soother? (our baby hugs his fluffy white duck to sleep)
- Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (or any of her books) are fantastic and may help transition.
- 45 mins isn't outrageous in terms of getting to sleep for some babies, but it sounds like you have a naturally good sleeper. Can you time his fussiness -- don't just estimate -- to see if he's decreasing his fussy time a bit?
- sometimes just a pat on the bottom while they cry can help, and it's easy to decrease this (rather than rocking in your arms)

good luck!
posted by mdiskin at 4:45 AM on November 16, 2010

Do NOT let him suck his own thumb! You can always choose when the pacifier goes away, but the thumb will always be with him. I've heard horror stories of kids who continue with the thumb until 4-5, and make a train wreck out of their teeth and hard palettes. There are ways to get a baby off the thumb, but they're not 100% (some kids are REALLY stubborn), and they're often uncomfortable for both the baby and parents.

My 1.5-year-old is still using a pacifier. We're probably going to wean at around 2, which is the AAP suggested limit.

I think that the key is looking for when the baby is ready to go off the pacifier. Based on what you said, I just don't think yours is totally ready. When the baby is less cranky about it, you can try again. Maybe in another two months?

Of course, since he's sleeping without it, you can just not give it to him pre-bedtime.
posted by Citrus at 11:19 AM on November 16, 2010